Also titled "why am I even doing this?"
You'll be the death of me bryblooms
Okay here we go.

DISCLAIMER: Some of this might get self-deprecating or depressing. Which is because I'm clinically depressed (with a side of ADD and moderate social anxiety) and can't really help it. So, sorry about that in advance, I guess? Sorry to anyone who was hoping to hear me talk about my favorite things to do outside of my own house or how much I love hugs or my own smile or something, anyway.

DAY ONE: FIVE WAYS TO WIN MY HEART

I'm not particularly interested in a relationship right now (I don't take care of myself anywhere near well enough to be looking to take care of anyone else), but I guess these rules could apply to potential friends as well? It's a hard question for me to answer, though, because I don't actually talk to a lot of people (I have literally one friend ha ha) and therefore don't have much of a set standard for these things. I definitely know what I dislike in people, but thinking of these kinds of suggestions feels strange and almost presumptuous on my part.

1. BE FUNNY.
I crack dumb jokes pretty much all the time (it's kind of a defense mechanism whoops), and I can't stand people who are too serious. People who make me laugh are my favorite people, and I love making other people laugh. I could honestly never be friends with someone who didn't laugh at my jokes!

2. COMMON INTERESTS.
I've honestly only ever had one friend who deeply shared an interest or two of mine, and she's since then more or less moved on to other things. But I can't help the fact that I wanna ramble about my favorite games and things! So having a lot in common in terms of interests would definitely help. I'd love to have a friend to watch fuckin anime with, or who would play games with me. I've secretly ALWAYS WANTED to play Ace Attorney or Danganronpa or Hatoful Boyfriend with somebody else like we're making a let's play, where we both voice act for various characters and I pretend I don't know what's going to happen or avoid spoiling it for the other person.

3. PASSIONS.
I honestly love nerds and artists and geeks and people who really obsess over and are passionate about something. I like how excited people get when they talk about it, and I take it as sort of a personal honor when someone shows me one of their projects or collections or something, or wants to watch their favorite movie with me. People without passions, hobbies, or interests strike me as boring.

4. TALK A LOT.
I talk too much. Some of it is a nervous thing— I'll ramble for ten minutes, notice that the other person hasn't really responded, and then change the subject awkwardly and ramble some more before I slowly trail off and realize they're probably annoyed with me. Happens all the time. So I'd love to be surrounded by more people that are actually interested in what I'm saying, or who genuinely like conversing.

5. BE PATIENT.
I'm kind of the worst. I can't drive, and I'm too scared to make phone calls or talk to employees at stores. I don't know how to pay taxes or bills. I can't take compliments, I don't really give them out, and I never let anybody touch me. I do everything very slowly, and I generally don't do much. Outdoorsy and active and extroverted and openly affectionate people tend to make me extremely nervous and self-conscious. And people who say things like "you just need to think more positive!" make me wanna tear my hair out— that's not how mental illness works, Karen. I know, realistically, that I probably need a good push now and then. But I also need patience and understanding, and nagging me about the fact that I never do anything just makes me feel even worse about myself, making it even less likely that I'll do anything. Someone who knows how to gently coax me and make me feel good about my progress would be nice.

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