Okay, so yesterday I had to fill in for a coworker, we were very busy, and the store was hot. It took me a while to fall asleep, and then I fell into a coma, waking at around four this afternoon.

I wake up and it's fucking 85 degrees in my house. The air conditioning is broken. And get this: while my mother was in the basement trying to fix the unit, the dogs got down there. The smaller one (we'll call her Biscuit) found half of a FRIGGIN POT BROWNIE that my sister left on the sofa and ATE THE WHOLE THING.

So, I've spent the last few hours taking care of Biscuit and sweating to death. She threw up the chocolate and will be fine, but she's baked out of her poor little puppy mind and has no idea what's going on. She won't eat or drink anything, so we've been forcing water into her mouth with a little baby syringe. She looks like she's sleep-walking.

THEN, THE FUCKING STORM ALERTS. Out of NOWHERE this freak pitch-black cloud arrives, and we can see lightning flashing. Then the thunder, so loud that Gigi (the other dog) ran away. Sounds like cannon fire. It's so dark in the house that we have all the lights on, and then THE HAIL????? FLASH FLOOD WARNINGS??? THERE'S LIKE TWO FEET OF WATER ON MAIN STREET, PEOPLE ARE STRANDED, WHAT IS GOING ON

We legitimately thought the windows were going to shatter.

So that's my fuckin day. OF COURSE I would get two whole days off just to get a storm season and a broken air conditioner and a stoned dog. No adventures for me, I guess!