(Look, I got fed with Essed content episode 124 and this is the brainchild that resulted; I saw a shameful little angsty floaty boy scared that he's gonna die and literally saw every one of the Mighty Nein internally vow that if anyone touches their boi, they'll commit murder and I love them for that. If after this Nonagon-world-ending catastrophe is handled, I fully expect an assassination attempt on our floaty boi and I am fully expecting it'll fail miserably and result in the MN going to tear down the Cerberus Assembly. It's gonna be great. Do I hear protective Mighty Nein/found family? Yes. Yes I do.

Word count: 5179)

It had been a long fucking day. Essek felt his head throb along with his many wounds and winced as he felt some broken bone of his twist into his side. He could not wait to lay down and just sink into his pillows and furs that offered some solace in this frozen wasteland.

This was...

This was very different than what he had been expecting. I mean, when you save the world aren't you supposed to feel happy? Aren't you supposed to leap and jump and laugh because wow, we survived and we did it, aren't you supposed to feel happy? Shouldn't there be laughs and cheers filling the sky instead of this ringing silence that filled the area like the hum of disappointment Essek had grown up listening to?

"We're alive," Jester's sorry attempt at being positive prompted a collection of groans and complaints from the rest of the party as they trudged their way back to the familiar outpost that had been Essek's home for the past few months.

"I think... I think I broke my tailbone," Fjord grimaced as he limped along.

"Ooh, that's... that's unfortunate, you're gonna hurt tonight. I'd help out with that - " Caduceus winced - their poor healer looked like he'd been through hell and back with a bloody nose and way too many bruises darkening his fur.

"No - no, I'm good," Fjord squeaked in fake bravado.

"Yeah, I'm like - ALL out of spells," Jester explained.

"Uh, ja, feeling that we all are rather... drained," Caleb breathed from his place along Essek. Essek's eyes were drawn to that terrible gash along the wizard's chest from that monster's scimitars.

He'd looked so weak at that moment, locked in an anti-magic zone with the full force of a purple tiefling zealot showing no mercy - absolutely helpless. Essek clenched his trembling hands and took another pained step... he'd been helpless too.

His spells, his abilities, all of them were useless when those red eyes turned on him. His knees trembled at the memory of that predatory gait his foe had taken as he readied to down yet another wizard, leaving Caleb a collapsed mess of red and rags.

Essek let out a pained cough and felt his throat closing up on him with the sheer thought of that situation.

"I'm feeling so fucking broken - I vote... we skip whatever celebration and just... crash." Beau's assertion was met with a jumble of collective agreements.

"We'll just be out in the open today - I cannot even make the dome," Caleb murmured.

"We will have protection as soon as we are in the outpost," Essek assured him.

Light, Essek couldn't wait to feel safe.

"Almost there," Veth chirped helpfully.

"Yeah, almost," Fjord winced with another step.

They made it, obviously, dragging themselves into the outpost like a collection of broken dolls. Essek recognized the look of horror and worry on his men and smiled a bit at the concern. H ensured that the Mighty Nein were treated to first and foremost - they'd thrown themselves into the thick of that madness like idiots and suffered the worst of the wounds. Any healers left over to help him were treated like fucking saviors because as soon as some of the hurt was gone Essek found himself able to breathe again.

"So..." Beau muttered as she wrapped one of the lacerations on her forearm. "We fought the Tomb Takers, stopped the... thing - city from coming back... and we're all still alive. I guess that's good."

Essek looked around at the others and recognized their solemn faces. This was not a happy sort of victory.

He'd seen the anguish on their faces when the tiefling fell. Even when the bastard had ripped them apart and laughed at their agony - they'd mourned when he fell again. 

They loved all sorts of monsters.

Essek felt a pang in his chest as he saw Caleb's eyes flicker with sorrow, his hands clenching the leather book he'd scavenged from Lucien's body.

"Ja, we are very lucky," Caleb murmured.

"Yeah! You almost DIED Caleb," Jester cried.

"I think we all almost died," Fjord corrected dryly.

"I was fine," Veth dismissed with a wave of her hand (the wounds on her side suggested otherwise).

The group fell back into silence as the last of the medics left the room and Essek recognized all of them struggling to hold themselves together.

They hated falling apart - Essek understood that. He didn't understand falling apart over fallen enemies, but he couldn't understand the Mighty Nein. He didn't understand the anguish in Yasha's scream as she begged something in Lucien to remember her. He never could understand how Yasha could be crying as she tore her sword through Lucien's chest. How Beau could scream such hateful words at their enemies while her glances always fell back on Lucien, like she regretted something.

How Caleb had looked at the corpse of the man who nearly killed him with such a sorry face as they stood victorious.

Essek couldn't...

"Well... it's been..." he cracked a wry smile, "...it's been eventful, but I think I'm going to go to bed."

"That sounds like a great idea," Caduceus concurred.

"Goodnight Essek!" Jester chirped happily as Essek stood up. "Will you be okay?"

"What?" Essek smiled. Why wouldn't he be okay?

"We've had a rough day, you will be okay all alone?" Caleb asked.

Essek snickered and nodded. "I think I will be perfectly fine. Goodnight all of you, rest well... you've earned it."

"Night!" Jester and Veth called, the others chiming in a little later.

Essek departed from the room, walking towards his quarters with heavy feet - he didn't even have the magic to keep himself aloft anymore. Honestly - it was pitiful.

He wandered into his room, closed the door behind him and hardly registered his movement from door to bed until he was collapsing on the sheets and just relishing the peace.

He hadn't fully slept in a while but he figured tonight warranted more than a simple trance. He'd trekked out into the wilderness with a collection of the Mighty Nein's allies, fought a cult, nearly watched his friends die to said cult, nearly died himself, somehow won by the skin of their teeth, and trudged home broken and battered.

Everything hurt. His legs, his arms, his chest, his wounds, his fingertips, his nose, his head... his heart.

Just, everything.

He closed his eyes (light they were heavy) and took a deep breath as he settled deeper into the covers. He hadn't even changed into his nightwear - hell he hadn't taken off his armor.

With a groan, he forced his eyes open and made his protesting muscles sit up. He began unclipping aspects of his protective shielding, letting them fall unceremoniously to the ground with a clatter - he'd pick it up later. He wrestled with his shoes for a moment and threw those off, wincing at the blisters he'd received from that terrible trek home.

He massaged his feet, and collapsed back on the bed, bouncing a bit on the springy base before pulling the heavy sheets over him and burying his face in the furs.

Finally, finally, he closed his eyes and let himself release some of that tension...

He saw Caleb getting slashed by a sword, his figure collapsing in a puddle of red as Lucien kicked him over with his boot and taunted the group. He saw Beau getting slammed by that goliath and folding under the weight like a toothpick. He saw Veth brawling with her fellow halfling, a gash on her face and blood on her side.

Dammit - he wasn't going to sleep well tonight, was he?

Essek groaned and pulled a pillow over his head, trying to block out the sounds of screams that ran in his head over and over again like a scratched record.

How did the Nein live like this? With the memories of all the places it could've gone wrong. All the terrible thoughts of the possibilities. What if Jester had been just a little slower? What if Lucien had been more accurate? What if Caduceus hadn't gotten back up?

What if one of them hadn't returned?

Well, now he was antsy. The anxiety was prickling all over his skin like bugs on an anthill and it forced Essek's tired eyes open.

He slowly sat up, groaning alongside his muscles and rubbed his foggy eyes before holding his head. His body was keen on sleep but his mind was... well... for lack of a better term - his mind was being a bitch.

He swung his legs off the edge of the bed and slowly stood up, hearing all sorts of bones pop back into their proper places like he was a faulty mechanism with bent cogs and loose screws. He stiffly walked over to his window and placed his palms on the sill. It was cool to the touch and the window fogged a bit as his breath left temporary foggy stains like dragon's breath.

Aeor was beautiful this late a night. The snow spread out like a pristine carpet, the moon dancing on the earth and making the white plain look studded with diamonds. It was like stars had rested on the crests of hills and now twinkled up at their brethren...

Maybe Essek was getting poetic in his age.

A small smile twitched at his lips as he looked up at the night sky that was just barely visible from his vantage point what with the clouds in the way. The thick cover hadn't drifted over the moon yet but they did cover a large portion of the starry plain.

It was beautiful, enthralling, and enchanting all at once. It was a nice break from the chaos of today. Essek set about trying to count the stars - a foolhardy task, something he hadn't done in years, but something he always used to do as a child to put his restless mind to work.

He leaned on the window sill, folding his arms and bringing his face closer to the glass that fogged even heavier with his proximity.

"One... two... three," he began gently under his breath as his eyes danced from one flickering light to the next.

It continued for a short while, all the way up to eighty until the clouds fully rolled in and dampened the entire landscape. The diamonds on the earth disappeared without the moon to create them and left the entire horizon just an endless void of grey. Essek sighed and released a long breath.

Some of the anxiety was gone, some of the memories had faded. Perhaps he could sleep -

Essek swore he saw something move in the corner of his eyes.

He whirled around and felt panic claw up his throat. He didn't have any more spells - nothing that could be of any use at least. He frantically scanned his room for an intruder, his mind screaming warnings of the purple tiefling who had crept into a Cerebus Assembly member's room and killed her solo without any issue.

There was no Lucien... there was no intruder.

Essek let go of a breath he wasn't realized he was holding and noticed his hands were trembling. He needed to rest, he had started seeing things. Hallucinations were never a good sign. He chuckled dryly and wandered back to his bed, his hands folded together to try and still their vicious trembling. He reached out to grab his blankets when some sixth sense made every hair on the back of his neck stand on end.

He whirled around again and felt his chest seize. Something was wrong - something had to be wrong. He scanned the room again. His floor was spotless, clean, and cold under bare feet with his carpet being the more preferable thing to stand on with its deep blues and purples. His small room had soft blue walls and a white wooden trim, nothing fancy but simply for utility with a few nicks and scratches in the paint here and there. A wooden dresser stood a few feet away, also a bit scratched up but in a familiar state of usage. His bed was a mess, his drawers were unorganized, his desk at least had some semblance of orders with its familiar piles and folders littering its surface.

Nothing looked wrong. But something was wrong.

He reached for the lamp beside his bed when he was suddenly made hyper-aware of a warm presence pressed against his back and a cold sliver pressed to his throat.

"Mr. Theylss, so good to finally meet you." That was a cold, foreign voice, with an accent reminiscent of Caleb's warm drawl. But Caleb's voice was warm and soft, round like a little sphere of light. This voice was cold, angular, something that cut through Essek's ears and pierced his mind in icy fear like the knife at his throat.

Essek's mouth opened to ask a question - gleam some information - it was instinct at this point. Learn what you could before danger clamped its jaws around him. The intruder wrapped an arm around him, holding him close as still as the steel near his throat danced over his skin.

"Shh, you make a sound and I'll slit you apart before you get a word in."

Well with that lovely threat, Essek quickly swallowed his fear and tried to hear anything over his pounding heart.

"How did you get in?" he demanded quietly.

The knife pressed further into his throat making him gasp as it dug into his throat. He clamped his jaws shut and closed his eyes as his mind raced.

Were any guards alerted? Would anyone know what was happening? How could he get out of this?

"Good boy, now, stay good and maybe this'll end well for you," the voice cooed.

Essek swallowed a bitter laugh - this would only end in one way, with him, found cold and dead tomorrow morning. No one would know anything was wrong until far too late, no one would even check on him until late in the morning. They'd find him - oh light the Nein would find him. As soon as they got up they'd probably be knocking on his door. They'd find him - what would they do?

They'd pick a fight - they'd go do something foolish and stupid and - 

The knife pressed closer.

"I just need you to answer a simple little question," the intruder murmured.

"What?" Essek hissed.

"What are you to the Mighty Nein?" 

Essek felt his mind go blank for a solid moment. Of all the questions he'd been preparing for that was... that was weird.

"What?" he managed. "Why do you care about the-"

The knife pressed against his throat and something warm trickled down Esseks neck.

"I asked the question, you answer," the foe growled.

Why would they care about the Mighty Nein!? What was this abou... Vess De'Rogna. Oh Luxon they were trying to find the Mighty Nein, they must be trying to either get information or use Essek as leverage.

 "They were my wards when they came to Rosohnna. We're allies," Essek breathed while his mind cried other words; Friends, family.

"Intriguing, a two for one then," the assassin chuckled.

"You stay away from them, " Essek wasn't even sure where his sudden rage came from but it reared its head like an ancient dragon and screamed to protect those broken people who were hardly holding together just a few rooms over.

They had suffered enough!

The intruder laughed low and dangerously. "Let's take a trip, you and I, Mr. Theylss."

"Where will you go, I have guards all around this place - you will not get me out," Essek growled.

"Oh no, you're going to stand nice and still while I get us home."

"Oh?" Essek dared to be a bit cheeky. If they wanted to teleport - he'd have to be willing (and he was not willing!). "And why should I?"

"Because if you don't, I'm thinking I'll just kill you and take my chance with those mercenaries of yours. You all looked rather exhausted - I could probably dispose of most of them, especially if I started with the monk or the aasimar."

Fear flooded through Essek's veins as he took in that information. The Nein were helpless at the moment, drained and injured - 

"Oh, how interesting. So not only do they care about you, but you care about them. Intriguing indeed," the assasin laughed softly.

Something pulled at Essek's chest as he felt shame and guilt fill his mind. The Nein cared... they apparently had made their care so cear that the Cerberus Assembly (because Essek knew that's who sent this villain) was using them against him...

And would use him against them.

That realization sent Essek's heart plunging into his gut.

"I'm bait, aren't I?" Essek breathed. "Is that what this is?"

"Hmm, smart aren't you. Now will you come willingly, or do I have to knock you out and kill your friends?" 

Essek felt so many different emotions tumble through him he struggled to take them all in. If he went willingly it spelled the end for the Nein. He'd be used to destroy them, lure them into some time of trap. He'd be another friend who harmed them...

The Nein always did sacrifice too much to help monsters. They'd risked everything by helping him, forgiving him, even coming to him for help. They'd lost so much and hurt themselves trying to save the damned and the hurt.

He would not let them get hurt or get dragged into this mess. 

"I will not go willingly," Essek bit, "as I have no inclination to help you out in any way."

"Well then," the assassin bit.

Essek closed his eyes as he waited for the cold bite of steel to rip through his throat but the sudden knock on the door disturbed whatever catastrophe was gonna come next.

"Essek~" Oh luxon and light and all gods in charge of this terrible world that was Jester. That was JESTER!

He heard the assassin curse under their breath.

"Essek~! Are you awake?" Jester asked.

"Send her away," the assasin hissed threateningly.

There was nothing Essek wanted to do more. She'd be in danger, she'd get hurt, she was drained and couldn't take on this mage!

"Essek! We were thinking it's like - such a bad idea if we just left you after the day we've had and you know, we really were thinking the best way to celebrate and - Essek would you like to have a slumber party?"

Under other circumstances, Essek probably would've smiled softly and sighed a little at their antics but inevitably let Jester in and watch her call all the others over and do... whatever was involved with their crazy antics. But now he had a knife to his throat and a powerful assassin at his back breathing down his neck as he lay inches from death.

"No - " he managed to cry out despite the pressure closing in on his throat. "I - I would prefer to b-be alone right now!"

"Oh..." Jester sounded so depressed Essek thought he may as well just kick himself. Honestly, the last thing he did with his pathetic life was to make Jester sad - it shouldn't have bothered him so much but... really!? He could've at least died alone but no - whoever was in charge of the world decided it would be so much more fun to make him die with his friends a few meters away. Fuck you too gods -

"Essek?? Do you sleep naked~?" Jester's tease came through the door and made Essek wince because of course, he couldn't dissuade Jester so easily and of course, Jester was like this right now.

"Jester -" Essek almost pleaded through the door.

"We really won't mind, Essek. We're very understanding of that sort of thing and you know I'm sure you look very handsome in  -"

"Oh for fucks sake, we're coming in!" That was Beau. That was Beau and the door was being opened. Fuck!

The door opened like curtail rising on the final act and Essek felt all plans and thoughts flee him as fear devoured his mind.

They were all going to die.

It was still for a moment, strangely. Beau stood in the opening, Jester behind her peering over her shoulder, Essek though he even spied Caleb in the back. They stared at each other for a few moments. Beau looked from Essek to the intruder behind him to the knife, back to Essek - there were a lot of emotions in her eyes that Essek couldn't quite read. Jester paled as she took in the situation, a cry of alarm on her lips.

"Oh fuck then," Beau managed.

"Jester -" Essek began before the knife dug deeper and he felt pain lace up his throat as more blood trickled down his neck.

"ESSEK!" Jester shrieked, clenching her hands to her chest.

"Come closer and I'll kill him," the assassin growled like that wasn't the plan.

"That would be a very bad idea mein fruend. Let him go," Caleb pushed past Beau and Jester and put out his hands in a sort of calming motion as if he could stop the killer from moving just by simply reaching out.

"The fuck are you? Cerberus Assembly?" Beau demanded as she raised her fists.

"What is going on in - oh," Fjord appeared at the door and took a step back at the sight.

"Hmm?" Caduceus was here too now. "Oh... that's bad," the firbolg recognized. Yasha walked up besides him and immediately reached for her sword at the sight.

"Mighty Nein," the intruder growled. "You all are wanted for the plot and murder of Vess De'Rogna. Conspiracy against the Crown. The deception of the members of Ballenpost and collusion with state enemies - "

"Ja, ja, okay. Just put the knife down," Caleb didn't seem to be paying attention to anything out of the assassin's mouth, his eyes fixed on the knife at Essek's throat. There was something cold in those eyes, fiery naturally but strangely cold and dark. They were pretty eyes - 

Not the time, Essek tried to scold himself.

"You all will accompany me back to Rexxingtrum where you will face trial and pay for your crimes," the assassin continued.

"We didn't kill anyone!" Jester cried. "Well - okay we kinda killed the guy who killed Vess, but we didn't kill Vess!"

"Then defend as such at the trial," the assassin drawled.

"And why pray tell, would we want to go with you peacefully when you hold a knife to our comrade's throat?" Fjord demanded with an unspoken threat on his lips as he glared at the man behind Essek.

"Because - " Light, the bastard almost sounded happy about this as he held Essek closer (Luxon Essek hated how hopeless he felt - he was a Shadowhand, training in dunamancy and magic he should have some way to defend himself!) - "If you don't come peacefully, I'll just kill your little friend and come back for you all one at a time."

"Do that, and I'll kill you," Yasha's threat was soft but even Essek felt fear prickle up his spine at the look in her eyes.

"Besides, your superiors wouldn't be happy if you just killed a random Dynasty guy and started a war," Beau laughed dryly.

"Random? I think you're bluffing," the intruder cackled. "Or do you not know about Mr. Theyss's involvement?"

Everyone tensed. Yes, this bastard had come for Essek and Essek alone. They knew everything, Essek would bet. They knew of his involvement and traitorous actions against his country. The Nein just happened to be in reach and were like the icing on this terrible fucking cake of capture and assasination.

"I came here to kill this drow," the assassin continued, their voice soft and dangerous. "But, if I was to bring in a collection of state criminals, maybe my superiors would consider letting him live just a little longer - you could say your goodbyes."

Essek watched every single one of the Nein bristle at that taunt and prayed that they keep their emotions under control. Every one of them was exhausted and drained, useless in a battle despite what the emotion in their eyes said.

Such conflict - it lay in each of their expressions; uncertainty and fear. It was wasted on Essek. This should not be a debate or cause for a second thought. He'd told them he was on borrowed time, that he'd been expecting this, they shouldn't even consider giving in to this mage's demands.

"So, how about you all come in here and close the door before you draw any more attention," the intruder ordered.

Essek watched in horror as they complied. He looked over all of them hoping to see patience or a smug expression on any of their faces and only saw six expressions of- 

Wait...six?

Essek counted again. Six? They were missing one.

Where was Veth?

Where was Veth!?

He threw a look at Caleb hoping for some explanation. Had she gone to get help? Did she even know what was going on? Caleb only gave him a soft expression as he risked taking a step closer, hesitating as Essek winced, the knife threatening to dig deeper. It was pressing against his windpipe, mere moments away from slitting his throat.

"Now, Mr. Theylss, we're going to take a trip and they're going to come with us. All of you will come willingly or I'll slit his throat," the mage must be smiling - Essek could almost hear it in their voice.

Each of the Nein grimaced but no cries of objection left their lips. They had to be joking - they couldn't be serious. They needed to fight, or at least resist - they couldn't sacrifice themselves for his sake that was... ludicrous!

"Alright," Caleb's voice was wispy and distant as he gave a small nod. "Just don't hurt him."

"NO!" Essek cried angrily, hissing as the knife twisted a bit, scraping at his skin.

"Don't get difficult now, Theylss," the assassin ordered coldly.

"I will not let you all do this!" Essek growled.

"Shut up," there was the threat of death millimeters away from his throat and Essek was embracing it. He was going to die - he'd accepted that months ago. He'd feared it for a while now but... but he feared the Nein suffering for him more. If he died he'd at least have the courtesy to do so without being selfish. He'd been selfish all his life, no more - not today, not when it came to teh Nein.

"Kill me then," he ordered of the mage. "Because I will not come willingly."

"Essek!" Jester's voice was somewhere between a scolding and a horrified breath.

"I will not let you use me to hurt them," Essek growled.

"Let's not get hasty, Mr. Theylss," the assassin retorted.

"Essek," Caleb's voice soothed some of those flares of anger and Essek saw those large fiery eyes beg him, beg him to stop resisting. No, no. No!

He would not be the reason they suffered more! He would not be another monster who hurt them!

"No," his voice shook as he grabbed the arm around his chest.

"Don't - " the assassin growled.

"I wil not let you hurt them," Esske growled.

"Essek - don't be stupid!" Beau ordered sharply. There may have been fear in her voice, but that could've also been Essek's imagination.

"Listen to your friends," the mage cooed. "Just come quietly like a good boy. Is everyone ready?"

"NO!" Essek tried to thrash, tried to resist, hell, tried to die. He could not, he would not, he can not let them get hurt. He would rather die - light, he was going to die anyway.

"Essek!" Caleb's voice rose into something fearful and angry.

So many things happened at once. 

The door was thrown open and Essek watched as fellow Kryn soldiers, crossbows raised swarmed into the room, led by a familiar halfling with fury in her eyes.

"PUT THE HOT BOY DOWN, FUCKER!" she ordered.

But Essek hardly heard the part. He did hear the curse on the assassin's lips, how it drifted past his ear and triggered the knife suddenly digging through skin and muscle, ripping his throat apart in a clean and terribly perfected slice that sent his blood spilling like a waterfall.

He panicked. All the anger and strange bravery vanished as soon as his blood filled his throat and raced down his lungs as he tried to breathe.

He thought he heard Jester shriek his name...

He thought he heard Caleb curse.

Someone screamed in rage and fury - Yasha likely.

He only remembered falling with a hand on his throat trying to stem the bleeding as he coughed and floundered like a fish on the bank of a river. Colorful sprays of light flew past him and crossbow bolts slammed into the opposing wall...

His vision was fading... that was bad - that was probably really bad.

Essek tried to speak - call for help, anything but he felt blood trickle out of his lips instead and remembered feeling his body grow strangely relaxed before the last of his vision failed him.

Well... he always had thought it would end somewhat like this. Assassination... though the friendship part had surprised him. He would've laughed dryly had he still been ali-

He was warm again.

There were voices all around him sounding like they were trying to be quiet but talking very loudly in those stage whispers. 

Everything hurt. It just hurt so much. He groaned a bit as he forced his eyes open and found two very large purple eyes staring back at him.

"ESSEK!" Jester cried in jubilee, wrapping her arms around him, ignoring his grunt of pain.

"Jester?" Essek questioned.

He was in the medical bay of the outpost. The Mighty Nein stood around him like a colorful arrangement of bodyguards with big smiles of relief and tired eyes.

"There, see, he's fine!" Veth smiled as she gestured to Essek. "Perfectly fine."

Essek laughed because that was certainly not true, but so be it.

Caleb put a hand on his shoulder and Essek glanced over at him, reading the gentle smile.

"Good to see you alive again friend," Caleb smiled softly.

"Good to be alive," Essek chuckled...

And it was.

It was wonderful to be alive again.

(Shhh, I wrote this in like an hour so don't look too deeply into the bad writing lol. Love y'all! Bye!!!)