Warning: mild explicit sexual scenes. Please no kink-shaming.

After I drop Mom at her house, which is a few miles away from Anna's place, I turn to Mira and ask where she wants me to drop her off.

“Uh, how about the dance studio?”

“I'm not going to be waiting for you, you know,” I point out. Slinging my arm over the backseat, I look back at the street before pulling out of the curb. “You're the one who insisted on going along with me.”

“Sadie will pick me up. We have plans tonight anyway.”

I can't help but feel a twinge of jealousy in my chest. The fuck kind of plans does she have with that stupid Satchel girl?

“Oh?” I say out loud, not wanting to sound like a possessive alpha asshole. “That's cool.”

We drive in awkward silence for a few minutes before Mira's high-pitched voice shatters it like thin glass.

“Your mom and sister are really cool and nice! They seemed to like me, too.” Out of my periphery, she is beaming. It still surprises me how she can be so bright and happy basically all the time, jumping up from a downed mood just like that. As if nothing bad ever happened.

That's one of the things I love about her. Or like. Whatever.

“I don't think there's anyone who can hate you. I mean–” I gesture to myself “–look at me. Despite you burning my hand on the day we first met.”

Mira glances at me with an arched eyebrow. “You're never going to give it up, are you?”

“Nope,” I say, shaking my head. A few more seconds of silence. “By the way, are those plans you made for tonight important?”

“Uh–” she stutters. “N-not really? I'm just sorta hanging out with my friends.”

“Cancel those plans.”

“Huh?”

“Cancel them. I have a better idea for tonight.” Heart pounding, I grip the wheel tighter as I contemplate once more on what I'm about to suggest.

“Oh?” Mira asks, curiosity piqued in her voice.

“I want to take you out.”

“Like… a date?” Excitement bubbles in her words.

“No, to get rid of you.” I meant it as sarcasm, but I sneak a glance at her gasp as she looks at me with wide eyes. “That was a joke, fruit tart.”

Mira chuckles nervously. “I-I knew that.” Her teeth tug at her bottom lip, making me wish I could be the one doing that to her mouth, leaving behind that colorless mark. “So like, a date date?”

“Yep. I want us to have our first official date.” My hand reaches over to gently squeeze her thigh in reassurance. And the thrill of feeling her legs tremble under my contact sends a thousand shivers up and down my entire body. “My friend can get us a reservation at that hot new place. How does that sound?”

Mira nearly jumps out of her seat in excitement. “Yes! Oh my god, our first date!”

I chuckle at her enthusiasm. "I'll be at the condo waiting for you. We would have to leave around seven o'clock, so make sure you get back in enough time, okay?”

“Don't worry, I'll be there extra early!" She squeals louder. "I can't wait!"

*****

I stare at myself in the mirror, naked, as steam from the running hot shower floods the bathroom and covers the glass. I wipe it away when it builds enough to block my reflection, the warm moisture gliding along my palm.

I'm really doing it. I'm finally going all in and taking Mira out on an actual date.

I'm finally doing this.

Taking a deep breath, I cautiously step into the shower and welcome the near-hot water caressing my skin, falling onto the white tiles and swirling around the drain.

Tilting my head back with my eyes closed, leaning against the cold wall, my hands slowly slide up my stomach, along my sides, until I'm massaging my breasts. Warmth tingles in between my thighs as I imagine Mira, close to me, under me, our skin touching, her caressing my tits, her mouth around my nipples, hearing her scream and moaning my name, watching her lose herself to me.

My fingers slide downward and find my clit, rubbing it a few seconds before dipping inside of me. A moan escapes me as my mind drifts to Mira’s pretty, adorable face. They move faster, harder, deeper, each second occupied with the girl I'm falling in love with despite my resistance, despite the risk of me hurting her. Finally, my release comes when my body tenses, shivering a little before relaxing as guilt floods my chest, my breaths coming out in hard pants.

Fuck, we're both in so much trouble. Especially when her mother finds out about us, if she doesn't already suspect it. Me opening up to her, letting her into my life, my family, my heart. What the fuck am I doing? To myself? To her?

And I find myself with no answer to those questions.

After I finish showering and drying out my hair, I slide on a black pantsuit and white blouse, adding a silver bracelet to my wrist. Despite my urge to wear a dress, I'm the one paying for dinner, and unfortunately, the dresses appropriate for this restaurant don't have pockets.

Fucking patriarchy.

The doorknob clicks open. “Nat, I'm he–” Mira's words fade away when I step out of the bedroom and she spots me. Her mouth drops open as her eyes widen and takes me in from bottom to top. She blinks a few times, her gaze not averting from me as she takes off her shoes near the door and walks to me. “Wow… you look… like a goddess.”

I chuckle lightly. “Thank you. I hope that's not what you're wearing for our date.”

Her head snaps down to look at herself. “Oh no! Of course not! I'm gonna go change real quick and I'll be ready, okay.”

“I'll be waiting for you.”

She gives me a smile before flying down the hallway and into her bedroom, the scent of citrusy sweetness wafting by me. I breathe it in, the smell innocently intoxicating in my mind as this part of her essence not only seeps into my mind, but into my heart as well. 

Plopping down on the ridiculously expensive couch, I sling an arm over the back cushions when my phone rings. With a sigh, I pull it out and flip it over, only to see a number I know too well. Or knew, at least.

I shouldn't pick up, a part of me screams I shouldn't. But either way, my finger decides to swipe the call button up.

“Why are you calling me?” I ask immediately.

“Wow, is that how you're greeting me?” Her husky voice seeps through the speakerphone.

“Yes, Madéleine.” I glance around the corner to check if Mira is coming. “I told you, our deal is over.”

“But you never said why, kitten,” she says, the pet name resurfacing memories I don't want to think of. Then she scoffs. “You're seeing someone, aren't you?”

I suck in a deep breath and squeeze my eyes close, as if I can chase this conversation away despite being the one who invited it in by accepting the call.

“Yes. I am.”

A low chuckle vibrates into my ear, into my mind, down my body in waves that sets off a warmth in between my thighs. It doesn't fucking help that I'm horny, that I haven't had sex in weeks.

“God, you sound so sex-deprived. I can practically taste it.” She inhales and exhales noisily. “Don't you miss the fun we had? The…” Madéleine lowers her voice. “Torture you loved to inflict on me? Fuck, I miss feeling how wet you were for me when you hurt me. The same pain you wish to give to that bitch who broke your heart.”

I swallow the lump in my throat, my breath hitching as I recall those moments. Madéleine, my sex partner fifteen years older than me, had helped me get over the pain from my reaction with Eleanor by dominating her. Doing everything to her that Eleanor used to do to me. The bondage, spankings... I do miss it. I crave it. As if the insistent tingling between my thighs isn't indication enough.

But then Mira appears in the doorway, and I almost forget that I'm on the phone. Whatever Madéleine is continuing to say, her words are muffled as I drop my hand to the couch.

Mira stops, letting my eyes drink in her perfection. White high heels adorn her dainty feet, the gold straps weaving over her pale-white skin. Her slightly tanned, toned legs are bare to me in the front, with only the center slit covering the top of her thighs as the rest of the pastel pink dress reaching her ankles flows behind her.

My mouth slightly opens as I exhale, my eyes travelling up to the plunging neckline showing me the dip in between her small breasts. The faint outline of her nipples pressing against the silk fabric makes both my heart and breathing quicken as blood rushes through my veins.

And when I reach her face, a rosy hue coloring her cheeks as her teeth nervously tug at her bottom lip, I finally understand why she loves pink.

It suits her perfectly. She's the very definition of warmth, happiness, and love. And instead of feeling the usual disgust at the color, I'm even more drawn to her. Like gravity. Pulling me in to her, showing me that she's fucking worth it. Worth everything.

Goosebumps flood my body as I once again drink in the sight of the dress hugging all her curves, complimenting every perfect dip. I raise my hand with the phone to my ear, not peeling my eyes away from Mira for even a millisecond.

“Don't ever fucking call again.” Ignoring Madéleine’s angry protests in French, I hang up, put the phone on silent, and tuck it into my pocket, making a mental note to block her number later.

Because right now, all my attention is on the work of art before me.

I stand up, slowly approaching Mira as she looks up at me, nervousness splashing over her face. Her eyes dart across mine, her hands clasping the white purse.

“How do I look?” she asks, a twinge of shakiness in her voice.

“You look … so beautiful,” I breathe out, reaching out to tuck a loose strand of hair from her tight ponytail behind her ear.

Her brown eyes light up, a smile brightening her face. “Really?”

I chuckle lightly. “Fucking perfect, cupcake.” Fuck, I want to kiss her so much, but I don't know if she wants to. I'm treading lightly with dating a woman who is demirose. And I don't want to overstep.

Her smile widens as I drop my hand to my side and turn around. “Let's go. We'll be late –”

“Wait,” she says, grabbing my wrist. I turn back, expecting anything else than for her to cup my face with a sly smile on her lips. Raising my eyebrows in surprise, she lifts herself up on her tippy toes and pulls me down for a kiss, her mouth and tongue warm and inviting like the sun. I feel her melt into me, her body pressing against mine as I wrap my hand around the back of her neck.

“There,” she says breathlessly, pulling away from the kiss with a flushed, beaming face. “Now let's go."