Waking up, the first thing I'm aware of is the numbness in my upper arm and a small body on top of me. The second thing is the pastel pink wallpaper and desk greeting my eyes, lightly illuminated by the rising sun sneaking in through the curtains blocking the windows.

I'm in Mira's bed, again. For the third time. And she's right on top of me, weighing next to nothing like a feather.

Glancing down, I find her cheeks squished against my chest with her leg draping over my hips. Her small foot peeks out on my knee, so smooth and delicate. She shifts against me, snuggling closer to me, as if she's afraid to let go of me. Which, given my track record, I wouldn't blame her for thinking like that.

But the thing is, I don't want to run away.

My mind races to the night before and retraces my steps. She asked if I wanted to sleep together with her, where she actually meant sleep sleep, and just wanted to cuddle. That's all that happened. Relief floods my chest.

These past four years, the only reason I would wake up to somebody beside me is if we had sex that night. So this, it feels so foreign, yet feels so right, with her on top of me, sleeping so soundly, wrapped so tightly around me.

And I don't even feel horny. Okay, maybe just a little. I haven't had sex for over two weeks, and looking down Mira's body, her bare arms touching my own, fuck, the tingle between my thighs is not very subtle.

Okay, get it together Natalie. She isn't ready, and you don't want to rush things. Not just for her sake, but for yours too. And you promised you wouldn't have sex to satisfy your urges outside of this... relationship.

Did I though? To be honest, I didn't exactly promise anything. Fuck, I still can't wrap my head around a girl like her actually being interested in me for me, and not for my physical attributes or irresistible charms. She's so innocent, bright, full of life. And I'm just a sinking ship who will sink us both to the bottom like the Titanic.

Yet, here she is, snuggled against me as if I'm not a walking red flag. And she looks so fucking adorable.

I glance at the clock on the nightstand, which reads 6:08 AM. Shit, I should have gotten up half an hour ago. Even if I don't have to work today because it's Saturday, my little sister is leaving for San Francisco today, and I have to pick her and mom up in a couple of hours. And the L.A. traffic is a nightmare.

Gently shifting my weight, I first move my lower body from under Mira's leg. Holding her head up with my hand, I inch the rest of me from under her. She moves a little, making me hold my breath, but she doesn't open her eyes.

With a relieved sigh, I stand from the bed and, leaning over, cover her with the blanket. When I step back, the sun has risen enough to cast a warm glow over her face. 

She looks so damn pretty, her lips parted just a little and a soft rosy hue coloring her cheeks. Cute. Adorable. Such a bright contrast from me. A tiny smile tugs at the corners of her mouth, and the sight causes my brows to arch as I exhale softly, warmth tingling up and down my entire body instead of where it usually does. Or these past few years.

Am I... am I really falling for this girl?

Sucking in a deep breath, I'm about to go to the bathroom and get myself ready to get out of there when I glance at her again, sleeping in total bliss. An idea comes to my head. What if I make some breakfast? Not for me, but for her? I have time. Besides, maybe it would be better for me not to flee just because I became emotional. Isn't that exactly what I'm trying to avoid?

Yeah, that's exactly what I'm trying to avoid. If I want to change, for her, for us, then I have to get my hot  ass working toward that goal.

Making sure to close the bedroom door without a sound, I make my way toward the kitchen, the cool tiles pleasant under my bare feet. Even staying here for almost a month, I've never actually used the kitchen. In the mornings, I would just rush out the door for work, mostly to avoid any unnecessary talk with Mira. For my meals, I'd either grab something at Starbucks or whip something up at the cafe, with dinners being just at my mom's or Mira has been making dinner for the both of us a couple times these past two weeks.

But today will be different. Today, I'll actually make something special for breakfast myself. Just for her. I need to try to make it work. Mira deserves it.

Rummaging through the cabinets, I find the organic flour, sugar, salt, and sunflower oil. I rinse one of the large mixing bowls and pour in the former three ingredients before heading over to the refrigerator. I had bought several bottles of kefir a few days ago, which gives the blinchiki that added tang. Taking the plain one and 1 egg, I mix all the ingredients together and let it sit while I heat up the pan with the sunflower oil.

The pan sizzles as I pour half a ladle of batter into it. Gripping the steel handle, I circle it around so the batter spreads over the entire surface. Blini are very thin, so it only takes less than a minute when it's ready to be flipped over. The waft of frying blinchiki floats through the kitchen, bringing back my childhood memories when my mom would make these on the weekends and Dad was still there.

Until he fucking wasn't.

Nope, I shouldn't be thinking about any of this. While I let the third blin cook, I quickly find the fresh raspberries and sour cream from the fridge and a jar of honey. Setting them aside, I just slide the blin onto a flat plate with flowers decorating the borders when the sound of light footsteps from the left prompts me to lift my head.

Mira stops when she sees me, standing in her light pink pajamas and T-shirt. Her mouth spreads into a huge smile, so full of happiness and joy she might as well just be shining a laser beam into my soul. Warmth spreads in my heart, pounding so loud I feel like it would burst.

Fuck, I really am falling for her, aren't I? First, I cuddle with her, then I'm making breakfast, and now, I feel like if I was a dog and had a tail, it would be wagging just as wildly as that wolf from 'Bad Guys'.

"Are you making breakfast?" she asks, walking toward the kitchen.

"What else am I doing, swimming?" I say, immediately regretting my sarcastic remark. But instead of dampening her mood, she actually giggles.

"Okay, grumpy pants."

I roll my eyes, ignoring the small smile creeping onto my lips. "That better not be my nickname."

"What if it will be?"

I sigh. "I see you don't have a vase this time."

"N-no...  I'm already used to you being here. I really did think you were a burglar at the time." She laughs nervously.

"Good thing it wasn't a knife then." With a wink, I turn around and flip the blob in the pan, a perfect brown revealing itself to me.

After a few moments, I place it on the plate and set the pan aside when a wave of warmth floods my back. Without wasting a second thought, I know Mira is standing there. I turn around, her cute face looking up at me with the soft smile of hers penetrating the darkness in my soul.

She's so small, holy shit.

"How did you sleep last night, fruit tart?"

"Good," she answers softly.

I brush my thumb across her jaw, her eyelids fluttering slightly. "Yeah?"

She nods. And raising herself on her tippy toes, she kisses me. My hand grips the back of her head as her hand travels up my back, sending shivers along the burning path she leaves behind. Fuck, she tastes so sweet, divine, I'd fucking devour her all day and night.

How exactly am I supposed to wait? Am I even fucking capable of it?

A tiny moan escapes from her into my mouth, followed by her eyes widening and a nervous giggle.

"Enjoying it, aren't you?" I smirk.

"Maybe." Biting her lip in that agonizingly cute way of hers, she glances around me. "What are you making? It smells so good!"

I smile. "Blini."

Her eyes light up. "Oh! I've heard of them. Are they like, Russian pancakes?"

"Yep. My mother used to make them for us a lot back when I was growing up. She used to say 'сегодня золотой блинчик день'."

"What does that mean?" she asks.

Clearing my throat, I realize that I've just told her a detail about my childhood without even being asked. That... that wasn't supposed to happen... Shit, she's trouble for me.

"It means 'today is golden blinchik day'," I say.

"See, you should teach me Russian so I can understand." Mira beams at me, excitement splaying over her face in overload. "This is so cool! C-can I have a bite?"

I chuckle in amusement. "I made them for you, fruit tart." Turning around, I scoop a few raspberries onto the blin, a spoon of sour cream and honey, and spread them evenly before rolling it up.

"Hold on, let me cool it off a bit." Lifting it up, I blow on it several times before bringing it to her mouth. She takes a bite, white cream oozing out of the end and dripping down her chin as she chews it. Her eyes widen in delight, a small, contented sigh floating out of her mouth as she swallows.

"Oh my god, that tastes so good! Like, fluffy, and soft. Just like you."

Warmth heats my face, much to my surprise. With a chuckle, I set the rest of the wrapped blin back on the plate, her eyes following my movements.

"You got a little something there," I say, pointing to my chin.

"Hm?"

"Don't worry, I got it." Leaning forward, I lick away the cream, her breath shuddering against my cheek before my mouth travels to hers. Our lips brush just enough for me to feel the heat between us. Fuck, I want to kiss her again. Taste her, all of her.

Swallowing down my desire, I lean away and smirk at her. "There, all clean."

She blinks several times, disappointment covering her face for just a second. "I-I thought you wanted to kiss me?"

I raise an eyebrow. "You sure it's not you who wanted to kiss me?"

"I– I mean, I did–"

"I can't let you have too much of me at one time, especially when we just kissed a few minutes ago. Baby steps, remember?"

Taking a deep breath, she nods. "Right. Baby steps." Her face brightens again as she glances around me. "Are you making more?"

"Nope, that's all for you. I need to go and pick up my sister to the airport."

"Oh, can I come with?" Mira asks as I wipe my hands with the purple kitchen towel.

I raise an eyebrow. "Come with?"

"Yeah! I'd love to see your sister before she leaves. I feel like she's super cool."

"No, I don't think it's a good idea–"

"Please?"

"I said no, Mira." I say firmly.

"Nat, please?" She juts out her bottom lip, looking up at me with kitten eyes, silently begging me.

I don't know if I want her to meet my family yet, or them her. Both Anna and my mom know about my history with the Jungs. There's no telling how they would react when they see her in person. But my resolve wavers when she doesn't move and continues to look at me with those eyes.

With a sigh, I give in. "Okay, fine–"

"Yay!" She throws her arms around me before releasing me and hopping to the side for the blini. "See? I got you to give in."

Only because you're so fucking irresistibly cute.

But I don't say it out loud.