Content warnings: Just slight steam stuff at the beginning ^⁠_⁠^ but nothing detailed, brief mention of drug use.

“Oh my god, fuck yes!”

Jayden cries out as she bucks her hips against my face, her body shuddering and clenching. Her back arches, lifting a few inches off the bed. My arms are wrapped around her thighs, locking her down so she doesn't escape.

Once she relaxes against the bed sheets, I climb on top of her with a smirk. “Satisfied?”

Her cheeks are flushed the same color as her red hair which splays all around her head. With her mouth partially opened and sweat beads sliding down her face, she smiles and bites her lower lip.

“Always, Nat. Always.”

I let her taste herself as she lifts her head and slips her tongue into my mouth. Breaking off the kiss, or rather just some simple sampling, I roll off her and lie back on the covers beside her. 

She props herself up against the head board, her pink nipples standing at attention on her round, pale breasts. Reaching into her nightstand, she takes out a blunt and inserts it into her mouth. She lights it up and inhales, then exhales, letting out a transparent cloud of smoke.  The intoxicating stench of tobacco fills the room.

“Want one?” Jayden asks, offering me the brown, weathered end of the blunt, slightly wet from her mouth.

“No fucking way.” I scrunch my face in disgust. “You know I will never take one.”

“Aw, come on babe, one blow won't hurt.” She raises an eyebrow.

Even though marijuana in California has been legalized for recreational use since November 9th, 2016, I've stayed away from it. Sure, I've eaten an edible here and there whenever I'm at my lowest and need that brief high, but I'm not pumping my lungs with smoke.

And thanks to my soon to be doctor sister's knowledge, I'm aware that smoking damages the ravioli or… wait… what was it called… oh… alveoli, the tiny air sacs inside lungs. And the damage to them is basically irreversible.

I shake my head. “I said no, Jayden. Now get that filthy thing out of my face, or I will never come back here again.” Glaring at her, I swat at her hand.

That seems to do the trick. “Okay, fine,” she huffs and takes another smoke. “You're too healthy for your own good.”

I scoff. “Yeah, and I'd prefer to stay that way. Thanks. Otherwise, I won't be here to pleasure you, now would I?”

Rolling her eyes with a hint of a smile, she settles back against the headboard and continues to smoke, her cheeks decompressing as she sucks in the weed.

That's when a certain face with mocha brown eyes pops into my head, together with… oh shit, what time is it? I grab my phone from the top of the nightstand and open the screen.

9:26 P.M. And I'm roughly twenty something minutes away. Fuck me.

I leap up from the bed and find my clothes scattered on the floor in the partially dim light.

“Wait, where are you going?” Jayden asks.

I hop on one leg as I pull on my jeans. “I just need to go, Jayden.”

“But you usually stay here a few when we're done?”

“Yeah uh, the place I'm staying at–” I search my brain for a believable lie. “- has a strict  curfew of sorts.” Olay, so not exactly a lie. “They close the buildings, including for the residents, at ten PM.”

Her eyes narrow. “What kind of freaky apartment locks their residents inside?”

Okay, shit, I knew she would wonder why. She's not an idiot.

“Because of the recent amount of burglary in the area. I think you heard about that case where two robbers walked into someone's backyard in broad daylight and stole their dogs? So yeah, imagine what they're capable of at night.”

Worry covers her face. “Then why don't you just stay here, at least for the night? Or…”

I sigh, buttoning up my shirt. “No, Jayden, I'm not moving in with you, and you know I don't stay for the night.” Except for a few exceptions.

“But–”

“Jayden…” I sit on the bed and, reaching out, tilt her chin up. “Remember our agreement? Casual sex partners, zero strings attached. Moving in breaks that, don't you think?”

Biting her lip, she glances at my mouth and back up into my eyes. “You're right. Sorry.”

I cup her cheek and brush my thumb along her cheekbone, avoiding looking at all of nakedness. This is when I need to reassure her that even though she's just a casual fling time to time, she can still mean a good deal to me, so as to make this all worth it. And of course, make me look like the bad guy. To be honest, it has worked … zero times in the past, because they all fell too hard at the end. Maybe I should apply different methods instead of repeating the same cycle over and over again, but instead, I continue to leave behind a bunch of addicts, refusing to settle down.

Just like my dad.

No, I'm nothing like my dad. I'm not him. Fuck, why am I even thinking about that asshole?

“Don’t be, baby.” That word leaves its usual gross feel in my tongue. And that's when I realize that the only time it hasn't is when I stupidly said it to Mira this morning. No, I'm not thinking about her. I was supposed to fuck out any thoughts like these. “It's not you. It's me.” Ah yes, the good old male bullshit. “But I promise, next time, I'll make it up to you.” I lean in and whisper in her ear. “Make the neighbors hear you scream my name with my face buried in between your legs.” Now that's the Natalie line. Her breath shudders as she turns her head a little to look at me. “Does that sound good?”

She nods. “Yes,” she breathes.

With a smirk, I give her a quick kiss on the mouth and spring up from the bed. “Good girl. Now I gotta go.”Glancing at my phone, it says 9:32 now. Shit, I need to hurry.

“Text me when you get home so I know you're safe, okay?” Jayden calls out when I'm halfway to the door.

I'm about to say maybe when I remember that it's because of what I said about the burglaries. I need to keep up with the partial lie. “Sure,” I shout back and rush out the apartment. I look at my phone once again, only to find it displaying the red 1% battery mark before the screen goes black.

Shit, shit, shit. No, not now you stupid phone! Fuck, I'll be damned if I forfeit the contract and lose the free rent. If traffic is going to be a nightmare, someone will become a victim of my road rage.

႔ ႔
ᠸᵕ ᵕ 𐅠

It displays 10:02 pm on the car screen when I finally pull up to the condominium. I totally did not honk or curse at the cars in front of me on the way here. Shit, I could use a drink right now. I burst through the lobby, ignoring the cute looking clerk as I run up to the elevators. Pressing the buttons, it shows that it's descending from level 20.

Fuck it, I'm taking the stairs then. It's only ten floors, after all.

But the time I get to the tenth floor, small gasps of air rush out of my mouth as a slight burn costs my lungs. Okay, so that wasn't easy, and probably slower than if I just waited for the damn elevator.

Once I reach apartment 105 and open the door, I'm greeted by a piercing shriek and the flash of a small body tackling me. My arm instinctively wraps around her waist as I close the door behind me with my other hand.

“Oh my god, Natalie, I thought you were dead!” Mira chokes out. Pulling back, her face is actually wet with tears and puffy red eyes. Concern and worry fill her look like a beacon of distress. I glance at the clock in the living room and see that it's only 10:05 pm.

“But it's only five minutes after ten…”

“Five minutes too late!” She releases me and actually pushes me lightly in the chest. “Where were you??”

“I was stuck in traffic.” Which was true. “Mira, come on, it's not big of a deal…”

She throws up her hands. “It's in the contract!! You have to be here by 10:00 pm sharp! You signed it, you're supposed to honor it! You promised!”

Why is she freaking out like this? “I–”

“Do you know I was so worried that something happened to you?  I called you a million times, and you didn't pick up!”

Something about seeing her in distress, over me, my fucked up ass…something squeezes my heart. Nobody freaks out like this unless they've had some unpleasant experience. And it cannot possibly be because she actually cares about my safety. What happened to her?

“My phone died–”

“Then charge it!”

She takes a deep breath, her pale face flushed pink as she looks at me. Her bottom lip trembles as another tear dances down her cheek. Guilt injects my heart.

But instead of comforting her, I say the worst thing I could possibly say. “You don't need to freak out over something so trivial.”

Her eyes widen. Fuck.

“The mattress came in today, so your bedroom is ready. I'm going to go to bed.” She wipes away her tears with the back of her hand.

“Mira–”

She walks off to her room and disappears behind the door. God damn it, why did I have to ask her that? I've dealt with stuff like this before. Surely I could have said something better without the risk of getting attached. Why is that my worry now? I hurt Mira. Sure, I kept reminding her of the coffee incident, and watched her excited expression on her face gloom into disappointment earlier today in the dance studio parking lot. But this… this is bigger than any of that. I can feel it. Heck, it's right there, visible in my eyes. But I don't know what it is exactly. Fuck, why do I even care?

So, despite my brain screaming at me to just give her space, ignore it, and mind my business, my traitorous feet drag me to her room. I knock. “Mira, can I talk to you?”

A loud sniffle is my answer. Taking that as my cue, I open the door, the hinges groaning quietly. I notice her curled up on her bed without covers, the ambient lighting showing her face turned away from me. Softly approaching her, I sit down on the uncomfortably pastel pink covers, my ass sinking into the soft mattress. My hand reaches out, hovering above her shoulder before I pull it back. I don't need to touch her. No. That's the line I've promised myself to not cross.

“I'm sorry, Mira,” I whisper. “I'm sorry for hurting you, and for being… late. I promise I'll be here on time.”

The bed shifts as she turns her body around to face me, tear stains decorating her face. “Promise?”

I smile. “Yes. I can just bring my night… stuff here instead.”

Silence ensues, teary eyes darting side to side at mine. Seeing her crying because of me, compared to her usual bright happiness, drags my heart down like an anchor.

“Okay,” she finally speaks. “I'm really sorry for… snapping at you,” her soft voice cracks at the end.

“It's fine. And you shouldn't be. Your reaction is understandable.” I start to get up from the bed when her hand wraps around my wrist.

“Can you stay with me tonight? Please?”

“Why? Do you think I'll break out like a lovesick teenager?” I grin. That squeezes out a smile from her.

“I just… want you here. Is that okay?”

I shouldn't. No. I don't sleep with anyone during the night if I have a choice. And my choice right now is my own bedroom with a bed all to myself. But my heart betrays me as it aches to give in to her.

“Okay. Just a few minutes. Then I'm going back to my room. We don't want shit to escalate.”

She quirks an eyebrow. “Oh, no, don't worry. I won't hug you like a plushie.”

Like a what...

I sigh. I should really know by now that she is just completely clueless about any sexual references. But I know that I keep doing it on purpose, because I love watching her naive reaction.

“Alright. If you promise–”

“Pinky swear.”

I chuckle and shake my head as I lay down beside her and watch her fall asleep. Her face looks so peaceful and cute, like a little kitten. Warmth kindles inside my heart.

And without meaning to, I tuck a few loose hair strands behind her ear before letting my hand fall back on the covers. Just a few minutes more. I take a deep breath, masking the escaping yawn.

Just a few minutes more.