6 years ago – The Trip.

It was towards the end of summer when I was deciding what to do next in my life. Isa was helping, as usual. And I felt myself going back to normal. Life was on track again, though the gaping hole in my heart was still there. There was no way someone could forget a tragedy so soon.

But the breakdowns had stopped and my heart no longer felt like it was being crushed when my Abu’s death or the miscarriage were mentioned. At times, I still felt sad but Isa acted as my crutch and he kept me going.

Since doing nothing felt strange for me, I started a part time job. It passed the time and it was okay. I was only a few weeks in when I was coming home one day and Eliza called me, asking me to come and see Ummi.

“Something’s happened and Ummi wants to tell you face to face rather than on the phone,” Eliza told me. After Abu passed away, Imran and Eliza moved in with Ummi because none of us wanted her to be alone. I would have moved back with Isa but Eliza said it would be better for Ummi if she had Farah. It was a distraction for her and gave her some joy after what she’d just been through.

“What’s happened? Everyone’s okay, right? How bad is it?” I asked, starting to panic. I was starting to jump to the worst conclusions.

“It’s not that bad. Just come if you can.”

“Okay, I’m heading over now. I’ll call Isa and tell him to come there after work too, is that okay?”

“That’s fine,” Eliza replied before hanging up.

On the way to Ummi’s house, I called Isa. Then, when I was left alone, I thought of every possible problem there could have been. When the thoughts got too much and began making me feel panicky, I pushed them aside and tried to think of something else. I calculated how long it would take Isa to get to Ummi’s house and when he would arrive. And I continued to think of him until I was at Ummi’s doorstep.

Once I was inside, I sat in front of Ummi and demanded answers. I even ignored Farah, but it wasn’t like she came to me much anyway.

“Well, it’s just your aunts,” Ummi started nervously.

“What about them? What did they do now? What can they do that will affect us?”

“I guess it’s nothing too major. It’s just a matter of principle and it made me angry and upset and it made me think of your father. He would have felt so betrayed. If they really wanted the house and the land, they could have just asked for it and he would have given it to them. Also, this is a sin they’re committing.”

“Huh? Please just tell me what they did now.”

“Okay. You know how the land your grandfather left behind was inherited according to Islam by his children. And your father had a share. And since your aunts had moved into wealthy households and your uncle Ijaz also moved and built his own house, the house that they all grew up in was agreed to be given to your father,” Ummi explained. I nodded for her to continue.

“And you know he had a stretch of land behind the house in which the tenants grow crops and such.” I nodded again. “Well, they’re trying to steal our share of that land. They also want to take the house and sell it. They’ve even gone as far as driving the tenants out. And you know that your father let them live there for free as long as they took care of the house because they were really poor. Brother Ijaz did say that they were much wealthier thanks to the crops they’ve sold over the years and he says they’ll be okay. It’s just… These women are Afzal’s sisters! His sisters! And look at what they’re doing! Stealing the house and the land to make money. And you know how much your father loved that house.”

“I know. I remember,” I whisper, still feeling quite shocked. So my aunts were greedy as well as racist. “What did uncle Ijaz say? Isn’t he doing anything to stop them?”

“He says he doesn’t want to get involved in legal matters but he’s trying to convince them to stop all this. Their reasoning is that the house and land are useless to us because we’re here in England. This may be true but… Afzal would have been so upset.”

“It’s not useless! We go quite often.” Abu took us Pakistan every few years for a month or two and showed us around the entire village and pointed out various places where his childhood stories took place. A lot of the stories took place in that house and I could remember it so well. “Heck, even I love that house! And I have a share in it! It’s my Abu’s house and I don’t want them to sell away all his memories just for a bit of money. Would you have sold your house for a bit of money?” I asked Ummi and she became quiet.

Perhaps mentioning her house in Palestine wasn’t the smartest thing to do. I mentally kicked myself for blurting that out. When Ummi was young her father built a house which kept getting destroyed because of the oppression which was taking place. The house was specifically targeted and every time her father finished building it, the opposing government would come to take it down again. Ummi used to tell us how once, she and her younger siblings were frightened and her father told them not to worry, for he would protect them. Her youngest sister spoke up asking how he could protect them when he couldn’t even save their house time and time again.*

“That was different,” Ummi said eventually. I apologised and an awkward silence ensued. I sat back, trying to think past my hatred and anger of my aunts. I thought about the law and it seemed like an easy case to win. That house was my father’s and I knew where the evidence lay. And I knew Islamic law in regards to this case. If only I were in Pakistan…

“Ummi!” I suddenly shouted, jumping out of my seat. “I’ll go Pakistan! I’ll take our house back and then return. I have a degree in Law; maybe this is what it’s for! I can do this!” I said, my insides bubbling with excitement.

“What?”

“I’ll go there myself. I can do this, easily! I won’t let them get away with this,” I said, my eyes narrowing at the thought of my aunts. I knew I should have loved them. I wanted to. But they were going too far. They weren’t giving me any reasons to even like them!

“Are you sure you want to go through all of that?”

“I do! I will, in’sha’Allah!”

“What about Isa?” I paused for a moment. Would Isa come with me to Pakistan?

“I’ll ask him when he comes. In that much time, I need all the papers and things dad kept.”

“They’re in a box in the attic.” Ummi sounded reluctant and unsure. “Don’t start all this if you won’t be able to go. Isa might not be able to just pack and leave and you can’t go by yourself. Especially in this day and age, it’s dangerous.”

“But I can do some investigating. I’m going to the attic.” I said, taking off and running up the stairs. Once in the dusty old attic, I began looking for an old box that I remembered my dad kept some important papers in. Once I found it, I brought it down and took it to my room. It was rather heavy but I managed. Then I sat on the floor and delved into all the papers.

I lost track of time and it must have been an hour later when Isa arrived. I didn’t know he was here until he came up to my room, although I was still unaware of his presence. He had to clear his throat to get my attention.

“Isa! Asalamu’alaykum,” I said, smiling up at him. I’d formed a plan on how I would convince him to come to Pakistan with me. With everything that lay around me in that room, I felt confident that I could win the case. I would have been excited about it if I was sure that I could go but the chances seemed bleak and I didn’t want to raise my hopes. Isa had already taken out too much time from work and I wasn’t sure whether it was possible for him to take out even more time just to accompany me.

“Wa’alaykumsalaam,” He replied, walking towards me. He cleared some papers, making sure not to ruin the strange order I put them in, and sat opposite me, on his knees.

“I have something I need to discuss,” I started, not wasting any time. “I know it’s kind of out of the blue but things happen unexpectedly and I didn’t know so I couldn’t have discussed this before so I apologise.” I had only begun my speech before Isa interrupted.

“Esha, shut up,” He said, a faint amused smile on his lips.

“Hey! That’s mean.” Isa’s smile grew. I look over to see a corner of a paper getting crushed by Isa’s knee and take it out. He failed to notice but I didn’t mind.

“I will go with you to Pakistan for as long as I can, in’sha’Allah,” Isa said and it left my jaw hanging. My mind was so full of information about the case that I couldn’t believe it. I was being a pessimist and working out a way to send all the information I gathered to uncle Ijaz along with money for a lawyer.

“How did you…?”

“I just spoke to Ummi over dinner,” He replied.

“You had dinner without me?” I asked sounding offended.

“You’re not happy I’ve agreed to go to Pakistan with you?”

“I will be happy when it processes properly but in the meantime, why didn’t anyone call me down for dinner?” I started to feel my stomach growling with hunger.

“I am going Pakistan with you! Process it and be happy and stop complaining about food,” Isa shook his head, quietly laughing. “You really are one of a kind.”

“Hold on, let me visualise it.” I closed my eyes and imagined myself on a flight with Isa to Pakistan, and then showing him around the parts of the village I could remember, and then fighting the case to keep my Abu’s home. I opened my eyes to see Isa close to me.

“Has it processed?” That’s when it truly clicked and I became filled with excitement.

“This is going to be so fantastically awesome!” I could feel myself beaming and it was the best I’d felt in a long time.

“Finally!” Isa muttered and I through my arms around him.

“I love you I love you I love you!” I said, squeezing him.

“I love you I love you I love you too!” He replied, laughing into my shoulder. “Shall we go down for dinner now? I don’t mind eating again if you want me to.” I roll my eyes at him.

“If you love my mum’s cooking that much, you don’t have to make lame excuses to eat it. But before we go, hug me a little longer while I tell you about the whole thing, from beginning to end.” I thought I heard him sigh but nonetheless, he complied and I discussed all my ideas with him while he listened patiently.

I was leaning on his chest while showing him my phone in which I was gathering some more information through the internet when Eliza walked into the room.

“Oh come on guys, get a room,” She said, turning around.

“We got a room! Knock before you enter, dude.” I sat up, collecting all he papers and putting them back in the box.

“Yeah yeah. Came to tell you Ummi’s calling you down.” Eliza left the room, shutting the door behind her. I looked up to see Isa looking embarrassed.

“I feel mortified,” He whispered.

“Why? It’s just Eliza. And it’s not like we were doing anything. Furthermore, it’s only Eliza,” I repeated. Who got embarrassed because of Eliza?

“To you maybe. I’m not as close to her that I can say, it’s only Eliza.”

“Don’t worry. One, she won’t judge or anything and two, she kind of has the memory of a fish. In fact, I expect she’s forgotten what she saw already. And it’s not like she’s never seen that before. I was only leaning on you. You stress too much.” Isa shrugged before helping me with putting the papers back. The useful ones were left out.

When I went down, I made sure to thank Ummi for speaking to Isa for me. Then I explained my plan while devouring some chicken and rice. As expected, Ummi was very supportive and Eliza began to moan about how she wanted to come with us.

“But aren’t you too busy with this little princess?” I asked, picking up Farah only to hear her cry for her mother. “Why? What have I ever done to you?” I asked her, handing her over to Eliza. I could hear Isa having a fit of laughter so I refused to look in his direction. I got up to put my empty plate away and Isa followed me to the kitchen. “If you dare to make a single joke, the consequences won’t be good,” I threatened.

“As much as I’m tempted to, I actually want to ask if you’re completely sure about this. It may be a bit more complicated than it seems. Are you sure this is what you want to do? And there’s so much planning to consider. Let’s take some time to think this through.”

“I’m scared there might not be enough time. There is a lot to consider. We have to apply for your visa and sort out the tickets and dates. We can do it and we will, just as quickly as possible. The house meant a lot to Abu and I feel like that’s a part of him that remains. I always associated the house with him. Besides, the more I’m thinking about it, the more I wasn’t to go and see the house again. I want to envision him as a child playing like I used to,” I explained.

Isa didn’t argue further. Sometimes I wish he had. Nevertheless, it didn’t take us too long before Isa had his visa, we had booked our tickets and finally, we bid everyone farewell and boarded that flight to Pakistan.

A/N: *The story of the house in Palestine is a true incident.