It was strange adjusting to life back with Clint and the rest of the family. It wasn't that I wasn't thrilled to be back home... I had just been gone so long, it was odd. I knew I was safe, and so was my baby. I also knew that the baby would be born sooner than later, and Clint needed to be there when his son was born. 

Laura had taken me under her wing again, and was helping set up the nursery. 

"Ana, are you going to bottle feed the baby or nurse him?"

"I guess I never really thought about it... Which one would you suggest?"

"It's really up to you. I nursed both of my children, but it's not for everyone. You'll just have to see which one works the best for you."

"Yeah... I just hope that I can do this. I don't know if I can be a good mother."

"Ana, you are going to be a wonder mother. I know you are scared, and nervous, but you're going to be okay. We are all here for you, and we will do whatever you need us to."

"I'll do my best Laura, but I just don't know if I can do this...."

"I know you can, and I'll be here to help you adjust to having a baby in your life."

"Thank you."

I was sure hoping that she was right. After everything that I had done, and been put through, I wasn't convinced that I was fit to be a mother. I had raised my younger siblings before they went missing, along with my parents... I knew how to care for children, but I was scared, and worried that there could be something wrong with this baby, and I wouldn't be able to handle it.

"I think I am going to get some fresh air..."

Laura just nodded as I made my way downstairs. I desperately needed to clear my head and have some time just to think. I had been home a week and everything was moving rather quickly. What was worse, was that Clint was out working a job with his team, and I couldn't reach him. It was bad timing him having to leave, so close to the baby being born. The thought of going into labor without him by my side was something I did not want to do. I was just hoping and praying that he would be home soon.

I spent quite a while just walking the pasture with the horses. I had missed all of this, and it was nice to be back at home. I knew I had made the right choice, but it was still strange. I could feel the baby kick as I walked, and I longed for Clint to be home. His voice was one thing that always calmed down our little one.

"Easy, baby... please don't kick so hard."

I gently rubbed the stop my son was repeatedly kicking in hopes that it would sooth the baby. He eventually calmed down, but not until I had made it back into the house. By that time I was exhausted, and proceeded to go upstairs to lay down. 

Sleep was something that was not coming easily the past week. When I had been away, in a safe house, I slept without any problem. Now that I was back on the farm every little noise woke me up, and with Clint not by my side, I was even more jumpy than I usually was. I did not like that feeling at all. I was worried that if Red Room found out that I was carrying a child, they would come after me in an instant, just for the child. Only the select few girls, were allowed to be able to carry a child, but only when they wanted her to... and it was usually because they wanted another soldier. Why me, I was not sure, but what I was sure of, was that Clint and I were going to raise our son, and do everything in our power to keep him safe, out of harms way.

"My little one... wait to come into this world until your father has returned... He is just as excited to meet you as I am." I whispered softly, and I curled up in bed. I was wearing one of Clint's tee shirts, and had tucked myself into bed, for what I was hoping was a peaceful night.