Mr. Grayson flicks a lock of hair out of his face as he climbs back on top of me after exploring me. It being my first time, youd think I would be a bit more re-served or even embarrassed. But instead, I find myself taking the lead as though Im some sort of expert. He kisses me forcefully, tightening his grip on my neck and suddenly, I let instinct take over me. It was as if, for the first time in my life, my thoughts had turned off and my body was moving purely by its own intuition. It was like for the first time in my life, I was free.

"Tell me when to stop", he tells me and I reply simply and sweetly with a single word. Don't.

The moment, when it came, was nothing like I could ever imagine. The sudden and rough physicality of both our bodies was a flash of pain and pleasure in its most glorious combination. It was quick but also one of the best feelings Ive ever had, and somewhere in between my knees levering against his hips and feeling his weight on mine, my body starts to shudder and I feel my soul collapse into his.

#

My head is throbbing by the time I wake up and I have no idea why. It feels like a hangover but, I know for a fact that I didn't drink last night. I never drink. I look at my surroundings and realize that I am not in my bedroom right now. So, where the hell am I?

I turn to my side and I'm taken back by the sight of Mr. Grayson still peace-fully asleep and almost immediately, images of last night follow soon after. Oh no. Please do not tell me you lost your virginity to your Professor Nailea. I suddenly feel physically sick and light headed. I hurry out of the bed and run into the bath-room as quietly as I can, trying not to wake up my naked Professor.

I shut the bathroom door and pace back and forth trying to catch my breath, which at this moment in time feels almost completely impossible.

"Nailea?", I hear Mr. Grayson call softly as he leaves a gentle knock on the other side of the bathroom door

In a frazzled and panicked state I turn my head swiftly from the mirror and look towards the closed door. Suddenly, it all comes back to me like a huge slap in the face. Where I was and what had happened last night. I wasn't sure whether I was excited or nervous or happy or disgusted or even...violated maybe? What hap-pens now anyway? Is there something specific I should be saying to him right now? And if so, someone please tell it to me so that I can get this entire horrifically embarrassing moment over and done with.

"Are you alright?", he asks

I turn back to the mirror and turn on the tap, letting the cold water run through my fingers before I rinse my face and catch my breath. Calm down Nailea, I repeatedly tell myself under my breath.

"Yes. Yes, I'm fine. Im alright. I'll be right out. I just needed to freshen up", I mumble

My hands are now shaking due to the images of last night racing through all the corners and spaces of my mind. Before I know it, I accidentally knock over the toothpaste and toothbrush. I suddenly hear the door handle begin to turn and a sense of panic takes over me. Mr. Grayson timidly pushes past the door and walks in-to the bathroom. I can't help but stay still. He's still in his boxers.

Oh, my Lord. I'm seeing my psychology professor in his boxers right now and this time it isnt just a fantasy. Somebody please pinch me, or at the very least just stop me from enjoying the view.

"I... uh.... I knocked over the toothbrush. I'm sorry", I stutter

"That's fine", he smirks. "Would you like me to run you a bath or will you just get dressed?"

I pause and lower my head. Oh, I'm naked.

I feel my arms cross around my chest involuntarily while he runs his fingers through his scattered long hair. Oh God, I remember how good they felt caressing my skin last night. And that beard? That perfectly tamed beard that drove me completely mad.

I pinch myself softly and shake the thought out of my mind.

"I think I'll just get dressed and head back to campus", I mutter. Walking timidly outside of the bathroom.

I hurriedly put on my dress and end up accidentally ripping my tights while I stretch them onto my legs. Mr. Grayson tip toes into the bedroom and stares blankly at me from across the room. Neither of us say a word. When I'm fully dressed, I stand up and can't help but stare directly into his eyes. They send a shiver down my spine and my nose involuntary wrinkles before I stumble outside of the house.

I waddle nervously to the frat house and by the time I arrive, Im far to traumatized to think clearly. I sit at the front of the lawn, now scattered with puke and solo cups, and ask one of the girls doing her walk of shame if I can borrow her phone. I immediately call Kayden and beg him to come and pick me up. Less than thirty minutes later, a car pulls up in front of the house. The passenger window rolls down and I let out a sigh of relief when I see Kayden's worried face. The inside of the car smelt like summer and sand. Almost like Kayden actually.

"Are you alright?", he asks me. I slide into the passengers side.

"Im fine", I sigh

"Did you go for that frat party last night?", he asks me stupidly as we pull away from the curb.

"Yes"

"You look nice in your dress", he says, trying to get rid of the awkward silence but unfortunately for him, I don't feel like talking right now.

"I'm very tired Kayden. Can we please have this conversation later?", I sigh

"Yeah sure, of course", Kayden wheels the car around the corner and turns into an ongoing traffic jam. "Did you uh...did you sleep with anyone? Or?"

"What?", my head starts to spin as I remember last night foggily, "that is absolutely none of your business"

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be like that, it's just that I'm worried... about you"

  "Well don't be. It doesn't matter what I did or didn't do last night"

We drive in silence for a while and those words continue to churn in my mind from last night; are you trying to seduce me Miss Tembo? This was entirely my own fault. I don't know what came over me or even why I allowed it. I would never say such a thing to anyone...let alone my new professor if I were in my right state of mind. 

try desperately not to picture what had happened. I try not to picture what happened in his dark room with Mr. Grayson's body against mine. I try not to re-member his whispering in my ear or even the way I hollered his name. A hot flush creeps over me and I groan unexpectedly.

The car comes to a stop suddenly and my eyes flicker open. I barely noticed that I had dozed off. According to the clock on the dashboard, it was already al-most 12 oclock in the afternoon. Great, I missed my morning class.

"Thank you for the ride Kayden", I murmur as I climb out of the car and slam the door.

When I enter my room, the first thing I see is Daisy seated on the floor, sur-rounded by books. She must be trying to finish up an assignment last minute. She seems completely unbothered. Almost like she doesnt realize that she left me completely stranded last night.

"Well, well, well. Look who finally decided to show up!", Daisy smiles, walking up to me and giving me a tight hug. She's dressed in her pink silk pajamas and her hair is braided into two pigtails

I angrily tear away from her and walk into the kitchen area to pour myself some water and take a pain pill for my throbbing headache.

"Okay...that was cold. Is everything okay?", she frowns at me innocently and I huff

"How did you get home after the party Daisy?", I ask her

"Asher dropped me off", she says plainly

"And...was that before or after you went to get some more chips?"

"Shit, Nai, I'm so sorry—I just got carried away"

"I know you're irresponsible Daisy, that isn't a surprise", I murmur, "but I actually thought that you were a good friend. That's what surprised me"

"Nai—"  

"Just... please don't ever ask me to go for one of your little parties ever again"

I slam the door to the bathroom and lean my back against the wall. I'm not even angry at Daisy so much as I'm just disappointed in myself for degrading my self worth last night. But in all fairness, I wouldn't even have been in that position if it wasn't for Daisy leaving me at the party all alone and vulnerable to Mr. Xavier Grayson. I spend the rest of the entire day locked in my bathroom, drowning in my own self-pity. When I finally gather the energy to leave, Daisy's gone and she's left me some spaghetti on the stove. I grab myself a plate and sit down on my bed to start eating. While I scroll through my messages, I get a phone call from a contact saved, Don't Answer.

I groan before picking up. "Hello Mother"

"Hi dear", she says, "I hope you're fine"

"Yes Mother. Im alright"

"Well I dont want to pester you; I know how busy you are. Its just that its your birthday soon. I trust that you'll come and see me?"

"I wish I could, I lie, But No mother"

"Well why not Nailea?"

Hm, maybe it's the fact that I cannot stand to be around you for more than an hour? Or maybe the fact that you are an absolute control freak and I feel suffocated whenever Im around you? Yeah, that must be it.

"I have urgh....mid terms", I lie

"This early in the term?"

"Yes mother"

"Alright then...well, I'll keep on checking up on you and making sure that you are fine. Alright dear?"

"Alright mother", I mumble, "goodbye"

I hang up. This might be a good time to turn off my phone.