The Tercian sun beat down upon the endless waves of sand, all tinted more grey than yellow. Shadows were hard to find among the dunes, and when they were seen, it was a sharp, dark contrast to the brightness around them, even with the light having to push past the thick layers of Dust first.

It should've felt hot out. Eldrazi should've felt the warmth upon their back, warming their blood. He should've been able to taste the thick, flaky texture of Dust within the air, or feel the sting of the wind whipping coarse sand into their ankles.

But he couldn't, his senses reduced to a single window, if only to taunt him with everything he couldn't feel. Right now, his world was an endless void of fog, nothing to touch, nothing to smell, to taste, to do, much as it had the day before. And the day before that. And the day before that.

Wow Gav. Sure is just so much sand out 'ere.

Nothing.

Eldrazi bit his lip, trying again. Bet it's all in our boots now, huh? Super uncomfortable, that sand. Say, 'ow much farther we got for us anyway? Few miles?

There was only the continued crunch of shoes on sand to answer, but if Eldrazi pressed his head to the window, peering to the left, he could make out Selatan and Aoife walking hand in hand, barely a few paces away. Why dontcha ask them? Been awhile since we looked at the map. Can't 'urt t' ask.

Gav. Ga-vin. Oi. I know you can 'ear me...

His foot tapped on endless air. Gavin!

When the silence stretched on, Eldrazi reached out a hand to the window. If he simply pulled at the bond and pushed on the scene before him, it would ripple, and he would be out. It wouldn't be Gavin's vision, it would be their vision, their hands, their legs. He would be out, not trapped in a dark, foggy space, alone. It would be like living, warm sunshine and something to fill his mind instead of this. Perhaps that thought should've sent his heart beating in his ears, or turn his breathing spastic, but nothing happened, because he was stuck in the boy's mind. He wasn't alive, but he certainly wasn't dead. He was stuck. Fear sunk into Eldrazi with cold, frozen claws, and they seemed to push him towards the outside world harder. After all, all he needed to do to fix it was claim his body.

No. Eldrazi immediately took a step back. No, he wouldn't— couldn't take Gavin by force. That was wrong, and the fact the idea had even crossed his mind made him feel sick with disgust. Maybe in lives past, he would've done it without a second thought, but not Gavin. Not after everything the boy had gone through. It was wrong.

But there was nothing to do in here but pace. Days! Days they had travelled through the desert, all heeding the direction Eska had pointed them in before whisking back into the cave to avoid the morning's growing light. Days, Gavin had been nothing more than a wall, following after Selatan and Aoife endlessly in the most Human form he could maintain. The longest the boy would allow for any serpentine feature was the eight hours he had to, and he spent them sleeping. He couldn't move, he couldn't breathe; the most Eldrazi had been able to do was watch every meal he couldn't eat. That, and think.

He might as well have been in Astren.

The chill sunk in harder, and Eldrazi's tail flicked behind him as he began to pace. Back and forth, back and forth. He wished he could hear his boots rebounding off the floor, or feel a floor beneath him. There was nothing. Nothing. It raked on his mind in a way that made him grit his teeth, but there wasn't even the soreness of a jaw clenched too tight. His forked tongue ran over the scarring on his lips in thought, until finally he screamed, hand diving to snatch the knife on his belt. With a cry, he drove the point into his forearm, right in the centre of the black, winding Mark of a snake there.

And yet, his entire arm passed right through.

Eldrazi stood there, frozen. How long? How long was it going to go on? A tremor ran through him. It was just like Astren, and he couldn't go back. That was the whole reason he'd even started entering bodies in the first place. All to avoid the true feeling of eternity, and now he couldn't even escape it alive.

Tears began to run down his cheeks, but they didn't feel wet. The reminder sent him to the floor, and he curled into a violently shaking ball, hands clawing at his dark brown hair. He was trapped. He was trapped and stuck and he couldn't leave. There was no escape, another thought that sent terror to his very core.

It doesn't matter! He tried to shout it. Screw thinking, he wanted to hear his voice echo, but like always, it was reduced to nothing more than a thought. It doesn't matter! Nothing does! After all, Gavin could invite him back tomorrow, and it would still be nothing more than a damn lie. So what if he felt the sun? So what if he tasted a meal? How many had he eaten, and how many more? Did he really taste things, after being alive for thousands of years? Could he still feel, if it had already been felt?

It was like blinking, breathing, feeling the space between your toes. If he wasn't thinking about it, it would fall away into oblivion, because it was all so mundane. Alive, dead? Who was he fooling? He was dead. Always had been. Anything else was nothing more than a silly game to waste his time, because he just had so much of it to squander, didn't he?

When can I just stop existing? I don't want it anymore.

The tears were heavier now, full out sobs that he wished could rattle his chest, let him feel some of the ache. Was this how Gavin felt, when he'd held onto his emotions? How cruel that had been. No wonder he'd locked him away. Any bastard to force that on another should have his throat slit with no remorse.

And I did it to so many.

Regret curled through him tighter, and he tried his best to feel it, relish it because at least it was something. But that was why Gavin was different. Hundreds of lives, and he'd never once cared about how he'd made them feel. If he ran a knife along his skin or leapt from a cliff or drank himself to death, well, it had simply been for fun. To get that blissful, split-second taste of nonexistence before Astren claimed him. There'd been no thought of the one beneath, and he certainly wouldn't have let them trap him in what he'd always considered to be his mind. And never had he ever cared what happened to those bodies once he died. Did a snake normally care when they sought a new burrow, devouring the creature inside? He doubted it was so.

But if Gavin died tomorrow, Eldrazi would never see him again, and that sent more horror through him than anything, even the thought of Astren.

He could. Humans were fragile, and they were headed to steal a heavily guarded item with less people on their side than any other mission before. Gavin could die tomorrow, and he would die hating him.

The thought continued to spiral. After all, there was nothing else to do. Eldrazi wasn't allowed to apologise or explain. He'd just be ignored, might never be listened to again. Why? Why was it the one time he had to care for a vessel they were Human with only a few years to live? Why did his ridiculous mind have to choose to hold onto the only thing he couldn't stand to lose?

But I can't, he whispered, even as that too, was reduced to a thought. I can't lose him. I don't want just another body. I want to be alongside him.

He wrenched a hand out of his hair, balling it into a fist to be slammed on the ground. Why couldn't he be stuck with him forever? If he just had him again next life, they could start over. He wouldn't even be able to remember any of this. It wouldn't matter. But there was no way to guarantee Eldrazi would find him again. Astren stretched on forever, Humans in and out of the void in an instant to be reincarnated. He'd have to be born sickly once again, unlikely as that was, and Eldrazi would have to sense him before any other soul jumped on the chance. Who knew if he'd even sense him at all? Most likely, he wouldn't. The whole idea was nothing more than a desperate wish.

His thoughts caught on the last part. A wish.

Unless...

No, he couldn't speak it– could barely even think it– or Gavin would know, and he trusted him little as it was. Of course, Eldrazi barely wanted to do it; it was a last resort option at best. He'd do everything he could to work things out in the meantime, but as he slowly raised his head from his knees, he knew he didn't have long to do so.

Over the dunes lay the start of a town, made of familiar, squarish buildings with flat tops, all formed from yellowish brick. Above them flew people with wings of several colours: browns and blues, greens and yellows. Others were forced to walk in blurs of orange and red, and somewhere, below and kept out of sight, black.

It was the capital of Tercia, a place he'd walked through time and time again. It wouldn't take long to find the Cearte's base there, nor their Relic. In fact, Selatan would probably make them rest until nightfall, and once the Eunsis fell asleep, they would strike.

Oi Gavin, he softly called out in the mind. There was again no response, nor did he expect one, but he could tell his voice had carried from the slight jostle of the boy flinching, and Eldrazi tried not to let that cut too deep. Don't worry, I'll be quick. See, I know you're mad at me for the lying', and right now, you might not trust me, but I swear to you one thing is always gonna be true.

His eyes scanned the landscape once again.

I love you.