The first sense to return to Eldrazi was his hearing as the crackling of a small, yet lively fire hit his ears. The next was touch, which was kind enough to remind him of a few things, like how he'd been sleeping propped up against a log, that the night was cold, and– most amusing of them all– that there was the steady, throbbing ache of an arrow wedged in both his thigh and his tail.

"Well, can't go 'aving that now, can we?" he mused, finally peeling his eyes open and sitting up.

Unfortunately, it seemed Gavin was still asleep, because that was a far more tedious task than usual. Each muscle had to be pulled and pricked at just to ease open an eye, each vertebrae in his borrowed spine rounded up into position, and Gavin's heart— Gods, how he hated making it squeeze over and over and over. It'd been perfectly fine and still when he'd entered Gavin's body, all those years ago, so he could not for the life of him fathom why the boy suddenly needed the thing all up and running now. So demanding.

"You're up?" Eldrazi could hear Selatan asking, though it was an awful lot of work to face the grouchy fellow, arms folded as he stared into the flicking violet campfire with Aoife at his side.

"Nope! Sittin' down, actually, and most likely will be remainin' as such 'til my 'uman wakes up. So for now..." His gaze fell upon his leg, bleeding around the arrow shaft and all over his nice grey tights. What an ugly colour. He raised it, grabbing at the top and taking a deep breath.

Then, with a rapid push, he shoved it out the other end.

Pain like lightning tipped with barbs blossomed throughout the sharp, feisty tunnel the arrow was carving, darkening his vision and filling it with pink flashes. But, once the head protruded red for the other end, it was a simple thing to snap it off. As his mouth grew dry and sight blurry, he wormed the headless shaft back out the other side, dropped his leg, and repeated the process for his tail.

That time the arrow was removed with trembling hands and a shaky laugh. Yet, Eldrazi could hardly be bothered. What a shame it was that the first strike had been when he'd been shoved too far back in Gavin's mind to feel a thing.

Well, at least there was always the present, right? Even as the feeling faded, his skin weaving and stitching itself back together as he quickly healed, he held onto the pain that had ruminated so... fascinatingly within his mind, drowning out his thoughts with pure agony. It made the relief of it all falling into bliss far sweeter.

Closing his eyes, he collapsed, and the tree truck felt like the softest of beds in the arrows' absence. A pleased sigh drew out from between his lips. That is definitely somethin' I miss about bein' alive. Mortals get to suffer so much. Lucky.

"... what in Uldyŋ's name is wrong with your skin?"

"Hm?" Eldrazi opened a single eye to look at Selatan, who was surveying his tail with keen interest. He followed it, watching as the wounded flesh bubbled and warped in an almost twisted manner. Then again, why wouldn't it look like that? That was exactly what healing was: the gods' greatest gift and curse upon Immortals. "'Ave ya never seen a man 'eal before? If not, I'll give ya a quick run down. See, when an Immortal fella 'urts 'imself, blood tends t' splatter and leak all out o' its coatin', and then the fleshy part starts panickin' and quickly closes so 'e can't just die in peace." He leaned back further on the log, letting it pop each bone of his spine into place with a satisfying crack. "Make sense?"

"I'm a Demon. I know how our healing works, and yours looks disgusting." He humphed, focusing back on Aoife's fire.

Eldrazi only did his best to shrug stiff shoulders, moving to look around at the dark clearing, edged with trees eaten away by acid and wrapped up under a Dusty sky. He worked his arms behind his head, propping himself back. "You try pilotin' a corpse in your next life and tell me 'ow that goes for ya."

For some reason, Aoife jumped at that, looking at him with a horrified expression. "You're... what?"

He quirked an eyebrow at her. "A corpse? Gav was born dead, ya know. All I did was float around in Astren and walk towards this a pinprick o' light I saw. Turned out 'e was 'eading out just as I was coming in, so I grabbed 'is soul by the scuff o' the neck, dragged 'im back with me and 'ere we are." He laughed. What great timing that had been, and it allowed him to do such fun things, like lift perfectly numb wrists and flop them in front of Aoife's face while she twitched in disgust. "As you can see, motor skills are a little wonky without 'is 'elp, but I make do."

"I mean, Róhain said Njor gave him energy but... he always told me that Dávolns were created from children's souls drifting too close to Astren when they struggle to reincarnate. That they use another soul to help finish the step over. I-I don't think you're supposed to be dead," she whispered, pressing herself as far as she could into Selatan's side.

"Pfft. I'm not dead dead. I have the title of The Undyin' Serpent to live up to, after all. Being dead would mean..."

The words trailed from his lips, and Eldrazi found himself staring up into the night sky, at the black, gaping nothingness of the Chaos Star. Once, he'd found it to be comforting, watching the shadowy thing pull and tug at the light around it, swallowing it until there was only more emptiness, but for some reason, it only added to the ache in his chest right now, making his heart heavy and words solemn.

"Being dead just means sittin' in the darkness o' Astren. That's all."

"Sounds lovely." Selatan rolled his eyes, moving to toss another stick into the fire. "Now would you mind knocking it off with flaunting your corpse-y self and just get some rest already?" A long sigh drew out of the teen, and he glanced over his shoulder at Talus lying on the ground, his teal-grey shirt rising and falling with each rhythmic breath. Beside him lay the handle of the sword, its purple ribbon perfectly reflecting the light of Aoife's fire. "I think we made a real mess of the mission, and I'm not sure we can head back to the Eirímach right away. If they're tracking us..."

Hunching over in his seat, he braced his elbows on his knees, hands gripping each other. He continued to stare straight ahead, avoiding Aoife's eye. "Perhaps we ought to keep going right to the next Relic. Going back only puts the others at risk."

Eldrazi watched him with a tight frown. So much worry for such a young Demon. It was hardly becoming of him, and honestly saddening to see.

To think that 'e lost someone 'e loved for so long, not knowin' if she was dead or alive, all so we could drag them to a place where 'e could easily lose 'er once again...

His heart clenched. Sorry Gav. I know you can't care for them yet, and I guess that's my fault too, but for now... I'll just do it for you until you can catch up again, all right?

So he pushed himself up into standing, as wretched as it was, and proceeded to thrust out one wobbly leg to walk, followed by another unnatural, jerky movement to catch himself. His body rocked and forth as he put very little effort into steadying the fluid in Gavin's ears, letting himself fall into a complete mess that he drew closer and closer to Selatan. "What? You mean knock off this? Stop flaunting like this?" He drew out the word, swaying with it until suddenly he was falling, and the ground careened into his face. Dirt and rocks dug into his cheeks, but it was worth the pain as he heard Selatan break out into a rough laugh, followed by a light chuckle from Aoife.

"Gods." She shook her head, letting the rest of her laugh all breathe out of her nose. "Aren't you supposed to be a thousands year old Demon?"

"Six 'undred, actually!" Eldrazi quickly corrected with a grin. That was the number he'd told Gavin, and therefore hers had to match. "Just barely old enough to be considered an Ancient, though I've been told by myself I look quite young for my age."

"Still, that's such a long time to be alive."

"Maybe for you, 'Uman," he smirked, although the humour didn't quite reach his chest as he continued to lay on the ground, listening to the fire. It was a long time. Such a very long time for one to live for, whether they wanted to or not. And yet, six hundred was nothing in the face of thousands of years, which was nothing in the face of eternity.

Such a long, long time.

"Maybe, but you'd think after six hundred years you'd be a bit more mature for your age. Selatan is only eighteen and he's... well—"

His hands spread in front of him. "I'm what?"

"You're you, that's all." She leaned forward to bop him on the nose, and he quickly looked away, composure breaking as his mouth screwed up into a funny little shape.

Eldrazi laughed. "That's simply 'cause Selatan 'it the strange, middle stage in 'is Demonhood where 'e thinks 'e has to be mature and is apparently no longer allowed to enjoy life. Like takin' a step back to breathe's gonna invalidate all of the effort 'e's been putin' into your little rebel group."

Oh, how funny it was to watch the tips of the boy's ears burn in embarrassment, his tiger tail twitching behind him as he quickly moved to cover it. "Or- and this might be hard for you to believe- I'm just not off my rocker like some people here."

"Oi!" Eldrazi cried, lips growing tight. "I'm not off my rocker. I'm just makin' sure I get the most outta my new life. That's different."

"Oh sorry. You're not off your rocker. You're just the most immature six-hundred-year-old I've ever met. Is that better?" Selatan asked, although Eldrazi could hear the quip in his voice, feel the lightheartedness in the teen's chest as he picked up the banter.

Aoife giggled, scooping her hair off her shoulders. "Maybe he just needs another six hundred to grow up. Wisdom comes with time and experience, after all. At least that's what Róhain says, right after telling me I haven't gotten either."

A scoff shot out of Eldrazi's throat before he could stop it, making the two teens stop to give him a look. He only shrugged, crossing his legs despite the pain. "If Róhain said that, 'e's more of a fool than I thought."

"Róhain's not a fool!" Aoife immediately shot back, and the fire in front of them burst with her shout, making Eldrazi instinctively jump back. "He's the smartest man I know."

It took a few moments for Eldrazi to steady his breath, but once he did, the smile returned. "Sure, maybe in books and 'ow the Cearte work, but clearly not when it comes to time itself."

Then again, why would he? The man, kind and caring as he seemed, was only a Dávoln, and Eldrazi had never seen his Demon speak through him. Perhaps the two were neutral, but considering Róhain was the Human, even with an extended life, he'd never understand what being Immortal meant. He would never know of the suffocating feeling of existing in Nothing, clawing and scratching at an endless abyss, praying to be let out with no one to answer.

How time made the mind grow weary even when the body remained strong.

The reminder made his stomach churn, a chill racing down his spine. He clung to it, because that too, was a reminder that he'd escaped Astren. At least for now. His voice darkened, until all he could look at was the flicker of the flames, snapping and writhing like the heads of Dragons. "You might think that given all of eternity, you'll grow older. Wiser. But time will always keep going, and going, until eventually you hit a point, Aoife, and much like a sword that point grows dull. And what do we do with dull swords?"

He looked up, catching her violet eyes. "We throw them away, because you see, in the grand scheme of eternity, life in and of itself is rather pointless."

It was then that the girl's face froze, pondering, and just behind that pondering, fear.

That too, felt familiar, in a way that wrenched at his heart, making him want to reach over and apologise, but for what? It was such an odd notion, feeling indebted to her, and yet now he was scaring her too.

So he quickly lightened his voice, returning to a simple shrug. "Ah, but don't fret, my dear mortal. See, that might seem like a very depressive concept, but I find it rather freeing. You see, if there is no point to it all, then that means nothing matters. And, if nothing matters..."

He sat forward, leaning in close to the fire even as terror scraped within his chest, pushing it aside to make room for the smirk upon his face. "Then you can do anything."

Everything fell quiet after that, even the fire burning down to a single branch, embers coursing through it like purple veins. Aoife watched it with a crestfallen face, shoulders shaking as her hand reached for Selatan's.

"But... what if I want life to have meaning?" she asked, voice barely above a whisper. "I mean, we have to have a purpose, don't we? Something we should fulfil before we die?"

With a sharp sigh, Eldrazi pushed himself up, brushing off the pants. His steps were far less spastic now, now that he was putting effort into striding over to her, lifting a single hand to comfort her.

He clenched it into a fist, knocking it on her clearly thick skull. "Silly girl. What part of anythin' didja not get? You want to 'ave a purpose, then congrats. Ya got one now. All I'm sayin' is what you want isn't a requirement you should feel the need to uphold or else." Eldrazi made it quite clear that his eyes darted to Selatan, although he said nothing. "If nothing matters, then you're doing it because you want to, and that's far more meaningful than doing it because ya 'ave to."

"So you're saying we should just do what we want?" Selatan asked, and his disbelief wasn't hard to pick out.

Eldrazi laughed, tail swaying behind him as he returned to the other side of the makeshift campsite they'd made for the night. "'Course! That's the best thing you could ever do. Ya either get what you want or learn from your mistakes. Either way, you've won. So!"

He sat back down, ears pricking up as he folded his hands in front of him. "Let's start right now, shall we? Selatan, if you could do anything at this very moment, what would you want to do?"

The brown leather of his bracers glinted in the firelight as he crossed his arms. "Right now I want to sleep."

"Then do it!"

"What?" His mouth fell open, hands gesturing wildly to the scene around him. "The Cearte could be tracking us! I have to keep watch!"

"Don't worry! I'll do it. Go to sleep."

"But—"

Eldrazi delved into his Will, reaching for that feeling in his chest. The first to hit him was a soft, warm one, a flavour like a brown pear reaching him, but he gently nudged it aside until there was only the hot coating of his own, which he plunged into until he could feel the cold bite beneath. He strung it out, letting the magik flow out of him like a unseen fog that he pushed to brush against Selatan's Will.

His felt rough at first, like the crust of toast, but it took very little effort to snap it and reach through to an inside smooth like peanut butter, a lot more giving and easy to work with than Eldrazi had expected, honestly.

"You want to sleep, you're tired, and if you don't, you'll 'ardly be prepared for the long journey ahead. So just do it already. We'll be fine."

The words weren't spoken, more pushed along the connection, but Eldrazi could tell Selatan had heard him from the small twitch in his fingers, the deflating of his stance as he leaned to the side, resting his head on a bent arm. "Well... if you really want to keep watch, fine. Just wake me up if anything happens."

Then he closed his eyes, and a few minutes later, he fell quiet.

Aoife first looked at him, then Eldrazi, a worried, angry confusion filling her face. "What did you just do?"

"I told you, Aoife. I touch Wills, same as I did for that lad in the dungeon to get you out." He couldn't see why she was so concerned. The man was laying there, orange and white hair spilling out of its slicked up position to lay across his eyes and face looking peaceful, for once.

She frowned. "You controlled him. I saw that. Your eyes glowed and he passed out."

Something about the word made Eldrazi recoil in disgust. "Excuse you, I did nothin' of the sort." He waved a lazy hand in Selatan's direction. "Like 'e said, 'e already wanted to sleep. All I did was push 'im into acting on it. Give 'im that extra boost o' confidence, that nudge in the more selfish direction to actually get the rest 'e clearly needs."

Leaning back, he stared at the sky once more. Stars reached out to greet him, but it was hard to see their twinkling through the thick, foggy layer of grey spread over them. He drew in a deep breath, trying not to choke on the flakiness of the Dust within the very air. "I can't make people do what they don't want. Only act on 'ow they already felt and were too scared to carry out in the first place. That's not control. In fact, I'd argue that's makes them unpredictable, which is more chaotic than anythin'."

"I see," she said blankly, and Eldrazi noticed she was back to watching the fire, knees curled up to her chest and arms wrapping around them. There it was, that solemn, longing look again, but for what?

Well, I've got a while to be up anyways, don't I?

"What is it you want, Aoife?"

"Hm?" She glanced up, an uneasy smile on her face. "Why? Looking to work your magik on me too?"

"No." He shook his head. "I'm curious. We just stole one of the most powerful items in the universe, and we're about to collect the rest. Surely you're doing this for more reason than simply because you were told to, right?"

He reached for the green ribbon tied to Gavin's wrist and began pulling their hair back to think. That's all any of this was, wasn't it? An elaborate plan, fashioned by the two of them with the rest to be dragged along until... Well, he supposed until Gav managed to gain their wish and save Cynwrig. After that, these people would have to go and live their lives, dealing with the consequences of attacking the very heart of the government while he and Gavin got off free.

Please tell me you 'ave another reason to risk it all other than what we've done.

Her head bent down, waves of dark hair spilling over her face until he couldn't make out her expression. Not that he needed to. He could feel her Will simmering down like a flame beneath rain, and when she did speak, it was quiet. "Well, Róhain did come up with the plan, and it's a good idea. With how powerful the Cearte are, none of our old missions did much, and it felt like sometimes... nothing mattered. So the fact that he came up with something that feels like it would actually work for once..."

Eldrazi finally tied the last knot of the ribbon, and, with nothing else to do, his hands fell back to his lap with a wince. "So that's it then? Just throwin' yourself at one, last desperate mission in 'opes that it'll work out just because that's what you were told?"

"No!" Her head snapped up, and Eldrazi could swear he could make out the start of tears. "I have to do this. If I don't, I can't, I'll never—"

She took in a deep, unsteady breath, turning to Selatan lying there. "We can never get married, you know? The Cearte say that crossing races is to play god, and if we had kids, they'd be killed immediately." She choked, drawing even further in on herself. "I'm seventeen, Eldrazi, and even with magik, I'm still Human. I'll probably die in the next twenty years, and that's if the Cearte don't catch me first. He gets to live forever, but... I'm never going to have that moment with him, will I?"

Eldrazi only twitched his tail around his ankles, watching the green and brown scales reflect the firelight. "You don't know that."

"True, I don't. But you said if nothing matters, then we can do anything, right?" She looked up, giving him a broken smile. "So I have to try, not because I was told to, but because I want to. I know the others want equality, and peace for everyone, and part of me wants that too but... there you have it. That's what I want. Does that make me selfish?"

A halfhearted chuckle drew out of his chest, and he shook his head once more. "Not at all, Aoife. Not at all."

She seemed happier, he noticed, as she breathed a sigh of relief. It was as if the thought had weighed on her for a while, and she'd been unable to utter such a thing before now. Now, when they were truly alone, under the light of a night sky and dying fire. It was times like that when people truly became themselves, he believed. That was when trust was formed.

I wish you were 'ere right now, Gav. Then you'd get what I mean.

"So what about you?"

"Mm?" Eldrazi perked up, meeting the girl's gaze as she shot her a knowing smirk of her own. Well, two could play at that.

"You sat around asking all of us what we wanted. So, what about yourself?"

"Me?" Eldrazi asked incredulously. What could she possibly want to know that for?

"Yes you, you weird Demon. What are your deepest, darkest desires?" she asked, adding a joking flair to her voice.

He pondered the question for a moment. What do I want, anyway?

The answers were quick to follow. I wish my leg would go back to 'urting. That was fun before it was gone.

I wish it was safe for Gavin's emotions to go back to 'ow they used to be.

I wish 'e wasn't so bent on fixin' the past and could see these people 'ow I see them.

And yet, even amongst all those wishes, another whispered gently in the back of his skull. A gnawing, selfish notion that quickly overcame the others in its sharp, growing intensity.

I wish I could stop existing.

A laugh drew out of his nose. "What more could I possibly ask for? I got another life, nice weather, and a lovely person to chat with beneath the stars."

She snorted. "And you don't feel like maybe it's you who's the one getting dragged along on a dangerous mission just because you were told to?"

A bitter taste formed in his mouth, but that wasn't the case, as similar as it sounded. He and Gavin had always wanted the same things, deep down, and that was never going to change. It was as he said before, letting people do as they wanted either led to happiness, or learning from their mistakes. This, in the end, was no different. "Not at all. I'm just 'ere for the adventure, and so far, this seems like it's gonna be a fun one."

He sat up, gesturing for her to finally lay down next to the man she clearly loved so much. "Now quit worryin' about me and get some sleep. If your stubborn boyfriend is to be believed, we're gonna 'ave to keep pushin' tomorrow, and if you don't get some rest you'll sorely regret it."

"Sheesh. All right Róhain." She rolled her eyes, but eventually she moved behind Selatan, wrapping an arm around his back and over his stomach. "I'll listen just this once."

Eldrazi only hummed, and after awhile, the fire died down into nothing, leaving only him and the wind. Not that he minded. Some of his fondest memories consisted of sleeping in trees on warm, Nurturing Season nights, back in his old body. His old life.

He only wished he could sleep now, as much as he'd offered to keep the first watch. At least then he wouldn't be left with so much to think about. That was the annoying thing about having a consciousness, because– no matter how much he wanted it to– whether he was alive, or dead, in Esternia, or Astren, much like time, it was never going to cease.