More of a curiosity than a story, this is a word-for-word transcript of the original, handwritten outline I made for this story back in November 2014 (grammar errors and all).  Hope you enjoy it!  Don’t feel obligated to read/finish this if it gets dull, there will be another narrative omake coming soon ;0)  Still, there are a few gems that never made it into the final version sprinkled throughout.

Also, I apologize in advance for the rampant formatting errors.  I tried (with limited success) to duplicate the formatting of the original . . . .

John and Paul 1

Gas 4:00 PM

Town

Campout (in) NIGHT

Bagpipe museum

Lake (loch)

Castle NIGHT

Play music in countryside

Glasgow 12:00 Noon

4 PM, Chapter One

Tour bus arrives at remote gas station

Everyone gets out – bathroom, tea, or just to stretch their legs (J & P) or to make phone call

Brian:  “Meet back here in ten minutes”

John and Paul see battered, 10-yr-old, silvery blue Ford Anglia – homemade “For sale” sign taped to inside of front windscreen

John goes back to bus to get their things, grabs his & Paul’s suitcases and his acoustic guitar

Paul buys car & road map, gets directions to next gas station from 60-something woman who works there

            Paul insists on driving after the “Bournemouth incident”

Neil’s in phone booth, Mal’s standing outside – only he sees Ford Anglia screech out of Parking lot.

4:30 PM, Chapter 3

J & P reach 2nd gas station.

In parking lot they plan their rout:  “It’ll still get us to Glasgow, it’ll just take us about a day and a half longer”

Buy lots of snack food, flashlights, portable radio, blankets, 2 cameras and a roll of film each.  comic books

Phone booth – J & P call Cyn & Dad – “Whatever you might hear, we’re having a great time!”

“Scotland, here we come!”

8 PM, Chapter 5

J & P come upon small Scottish village

            Just about twenty two-storey stone buildings on either side of the road.

They park on grass just outside town (drive through, see inviting pub, then park) and walk back down st. to pub.

Warm, cozy, dark wood panelling

J – pint of whatever’s best   P – same for me

Barman (Albert Finney!) Where’re you from, then?

Liverpool!

Barman – want another drink?

J, yes please   P – No thanks, I’m driving

.

.

.

1 hr later

Paul is sitting at piano, leading pub through chorus of “Knees Up Mother Brown.”  John’s leaning on piano, beer in hand.

“Let me buy this man a drink!” calls random patron.

Beer is brought to Paul to sit beside several empty glasses on top of piano

Paul leads group through “Accentuate the Positive”

P – “Okay, I’m done now” gets up.

“NO!” say other patrons.

“Nope, really” hiccup “I’m really done now.  Have a nice night, everybody”

They slowly leave pub, shaking hands on the way, into frigid night.  Stuff hands in pockets to keep them warm, walk back to car and drive off

9 PM

10 PM, Chapter 7

John and Paul are driving

            Paul is on wrong side of road, has to swerve to avoid oncoming vehicle

            P [laughing]:  “This is great, man!  No wonder you drive so crazily!” [slurring]

            J:  “You’re drunk, Macca.”

            P swerves around corner, narrowly avoiding careening off the road.

            P:  “’M not tha’ drunk.”  [hiccup]

            J:  “I don’t believe it.  Not only are you drunk, but you’re also drunker than I am!”

            Paul laughs

            J sighs.  “I guess it’s my responsibility to tell you to pull over, then.  Go on.”

            They pull over.

            10:30 PM

They end up sleeping in car, John in front passenger seat & Paul lounged across backseat.  Fall asleep reading comics by flashlight [burn out flashlights]

John and Paul 2

10:00 AM, Chapter 9

Wake up in car to morning light & wild hangovers

            Uncomfortable, cricks in necks from sleeping in car

            discover that flashlights have burnt out, laugh a bit

eat “breakfast” of crisps, then Paul gets out (cold!), gets back in front seat, they start driving

…

11:00 AM

Come upon small stone building w/ “tavern sign” wooden above door w/ picture (carved) of bagpipes on it

“Hey, look at that!” says John as they pass

Paul turns around, goes back, parks in tiny empty gravel pking lot

They get out, go to door.  Turns out it’s a bagpipe museum!

Run by an old man in a kilt who’s behind the desk, asleep

Dark inside, takes eyes a little to adjust

They (well, Paul anyroad) actually learn a lot about bagpipes.

Paul reads the placards and reads aloud interesting bits (“Hey John, did you know . . . “)

John wanders around looking @ bagpipes, touching them, looking at stone walls & pictures on them.  Basically touching every thing, gets antsy.

Stop by counter (Paul’s idea, John’s itching to go) on way out.  Paul says, “Er . . . thanks,” but man continues snoring.  Paul puts £5 note on desk and then follows John out into bright sunlight.

11:30 AM, Chapter 11

John and Paul pull around a curve to see a gorgeous mirror-like lake w/ snow-capped mtn. in background.

            Pull over

            Take a bunch of pictures, first of lake then of e@ other – use up all their film!

            Drive away again munching on trail mix.

4:00 PM, Chapter 13

John and Paul see abandoned castle on lake similar to the mirrored one earlier, ‘cept now there’s a wind “ruffling the water.”

            Decide to pull over and explore.

            Wander around in castle, but can’t find stairs to tower.

            gothic windows, basically just stone @ this point, but still structurally sound.

            Obviously abandoned quite long ago.

            Birds living in one of the 2nd floor rooms – bird droppings but fantastic views.

            5:00 PM

J & P take one look @ stairs to basement and decide not to go down, but talk back & forth to preserve machoness.

Decide to spend the night in what feels like living room of sorts – high, arched windows overlook lake, room furthest from road.

Go back out to car to grab suitcases, blankets, & guitar.

5:30 PM

Grin @ each other as they walk across stubby grass in desolate countryside to castle.

7:30 PM (DON’T be specific – bedtimes too early!!!), Chapter 15, WATCHES [A/N March 2015:  I still have no idea what this last word means]

Sun sets; John and Paul are just wrapping up composing.

“Good thing, too,” – P (as sunlight disappears over horizon, they run out of light to write by.

Snuggle down under blankets (“Thank God we got wool ones”)

“I wonder who lived here before?”

Speculate about who lived there, who died there, how they died, d’you think they’re ghosts?

Paul can’t go to sleep, though John’s asleep almost immediately (snoring) – a little freaked.

John and Paul 3

Chapter 17

Castle – sunrise

            we all know what happens here – see notebook

10:00 AM, Chapter 19

John and Paul stop one last time

            No actual chapter for leaving the castle, just summarize @ beginning of this one

            They stop and play songs in countryside, Paul on guitar, both singing.

            Sit on back hood of car & wave to passing cars.

            “Right, let’s go home” – Paul.  They hop down.

            As they go back to car:  “Yeah.  Back to civilization.” – J

            Silence.  Paul sighs.

            “Thanks for the wonderful adventure, mate.” – P

            “Let’s do this again sometime.” – J

            drive in happy silence

12:00 noon, Chapter 20

J & P reach outskirts of Glasgow when they see police car following (tailgating, actually) them.

            Suddenly its sirens come on

            Paul freaks and presses accellerator, screeches around corner

            J – “What’re you doing”

            Paul frets that woman has sold them car of escaped convict or something.

            All the while, driving “like James Bond”

“I didn’t know a car could go that far on just 2 wheels!” exclaimed John gleefully.  “This is great!”

Meanwhile, Paul is terrified.

Cut to G, R, et. al. watching car chase on telly.

More and more police cars congregating behind car.

Newscaster – “and it appears the driver of this car is none other than the supposedly ill Paul McCartney of the Beatles!”

Brian moans.

“Come on, guys!” R, G, N, M all cheering like football fans, sitting on edges of seats, rooting for J, P, and their old Ford Anglia

Finally, though, police car pulls out in front of J & P, other cars behind, nowhere to turn off

And so it ends w/ G, R, et. al. groaning as they watch Paul & John get out of smoking car, hands above their heads

Paul looks miserable, but John’s grinning ear-to-ear

Epilogue?

Paul McCartney looks for the castle, but can’t find it, finally gives up, goes into gas station

“Two of Us” is playing on radio

Understated [NO CRYING!] – buys crisps, leaves, goes back to hotel – humming song as he leaves.

George, Ringo et. al. 1

Gas

Police

hotel

press conference

fish & chips

zoo

police

hotel

4 PM, Chapter 2

Tour bus at remote gas tation

George and Ringo go into store in search of snacks & tea, as they go to counter to make their purchases, they see Paul slip furtively out back door:

            G – “What’s up w/ him?”

            R – *shrug*

It’s not until everybody’s back on the bus 10 min later that they realize J & P are gone.

“They’re probably just taking their time in the loo” – Neil

Brian and George go back in to check on them – but they’re not in the shop!  Or the loo!

They ask woman behind the counter.

“Oh, that lovely young man who just bought my Ford Anglia?”

Brian and George return to bus shell-shocked.  Sight of everyone looking at them anxiously – Brian FREAKS

4:30 PM, Chapter 4

Back at gas station

Brian phones police back in Dundee, but they refuse to “go gallavanting off after a couple of young upstarts.”

Police in Glasgow are more receptive, Beatles are coming, not going.

Ringo and George are playing cards back on the bus.

Mal & Neil are frantically organizing stuff

Brian makes Ringo give phone # to gas station lady – “If they come back, call this #”

Set off for Glasgow

5:00 PM

8 PM, Chapter 6

Arrive in Glasgow around 8

            Straight to police station

            R – “Is Scotland Yard here?”

            G – “It’s in London, Ringo.”

R – “Well, that’s stupid.  Why would Scotland Yard be in London?  Should @ least be in Edinburgh”

Brian anxiously sees receptionist (young woman) – appt.ment w/ D.I. MacGregor.

Receptionist, “Certainly.” Brian – Oh, and can I use your phone?  he has to cancel concert [this leads to news uproar]

G & R think this is all quite funny.  “Can’t wait to hear what they have to say when they get back!”

Only 2 people can go in to see D.I. – Neil & Brian.  Bri – Mal, look after the boys.

They leave.  G & R convince Mal that the receptionist is watching him & trying to get him to come over – “Yeah, she thinks you’re sexy!” – R

The second Mal listens to them G & R are out the door

Mal turns “George?  Ringo?”

They dash into 1st room they see – self-defense seminar!  Man giving it w/ military medals & grey moustache.  Most listeners – small, timid, middle-aged women

Man:  “Always be aware, be PREPARED!”  slams fist down on podium.  Spittle flies out of mouth past moustache.  Several women in audience gasp apprehensively.

R:  “But what do we do if we aren’t prepared?”

M:  “But . . . Wha – I never!  Insolence!” he sputtered

G:  “That your answer?”

M:  “You’re missing the point, my dear boy!  The point is that you’re always prepared!”

R:  (frowning):  “But what if you aren’t?”

M:  “Out!  Get these hooligans out of here!”

G:  “Fine, we’re going.  Keep your pants on.”

            he and Ringo get up and walk out.  Women cringe as man continues to yell.

            G & R open door – and walk straight into Mal.  Literally.

            M – “Not you two, too!”

            R – “so this is what happens when you aren’t prepared.”

George, Ringo et al 2

9:00 PM, Chapter 8

Leaving police station, they’re mobbed by reporters

            “Why did you cancel your Glasgow concerts?”

            “Where are John Lennon & Paul McCartney?”

            “Are the Beatles breaking up?  Will you cut your hair if they do?”

            Push through reporters to limo, go to hotel.

R & G want to go our clubbing, But Brian doesn’t want them going anywhere.  “Already lost two of you.”

The scenario ceases to be funny to R & G – now they’re furious with J & P

Storm off into their room off the Suite living room.

Turn on portable radio, listen to news coverage about themselves (crazy rumors about J & P disappearing), play cards.

7:30 AM, Chapter 10

Brian wakes up G & R for emergency press conference in hotel lobby

“Just tell them you don’t know,” warns Brian as they sleepily get dressed.  “We can’t let them find out what really happened.”

pretending Paul’s fallen ill suddenly & J’s staying w/ him.

            so G & R answer “I don’t know” to EVERYTHING!

            Brian pushes them out and promises Glasgow a free makeup concert as soon as possible.

            G & R try to go back upstairs but Neil & Mal stop them

            “You’ve still got a lot to do to clear this mess up.”

            8:15 AM

12:00 Noon, Chapter 12

After an extremely busy morning, G & R et al are leaving radio broadcasting place, where they told Glasgow that J & P are alive & this is temporary, etc.

            “Come on, Brian, we’re starving!” G

Go out for fish & chips, fed up w/ other patrons gawking, Brian pays lots ‘o’ £ to kick out everyone else.

end of meal:

Brian goes out to phone booth to cancel Leeds that night, Mal uses restroom, Neil goes to get car.

R & G exchange a glance, then run out thru kitchen & backdoor.

“Not fair for J & P to have all the fun, is it?”

Burst out into grey Glasgow streets

1:30 PM, Chapter 14

[Dedicate to Macca40]

George & Ringo go to Glasgow Zoo

buy bags of peanuts from vendor @ front, walk through to monkey house.  Pass other animals, conversation etc.

In monkey house, Ringo makes faces @ monkeys in one part George goes and makes friends w/ monkeys in different cage (laughs when one rolls over).

Ringo suddenly says, still looking @ monkeys, “I bet it’s horrible, being stuck in there your whole life.”

George agrees.

Suddenly, “Hands in the air!” calls cop from behind them.

G & R run away, through zoo.

Finally cop tackles George, cuffs him, Ringo waits behind helplessly (“I’m not running away alone!”)

“Mr. McCartney, you’re under arrest!” – cop.

George and Ringo groan.

3:00 PM

7:30 PM, Chapter 16

Brian comes to get George and Ringo

            Policeman leads him to the cell where G & R are sitting.

“Now I know what it feels like to be a monkey” – R.  [Brian looks @ him rather strangely)

Policeman to Brian:  “Terribly sorry about the mix-up.”

“What would you be arresting J & P for, anyroad?” – G

Brian takes them back to hotel w/ Neil & Mal.

Watch telly w/ B, M, & N – Dr. Finlay’s Casebook.

Noon, Chapter 18

Ringo and George have slept in late and are eating hotel room service brunch w/ the others

            Brian, Mal, Neil have grounded G & R to suite.

            Reading ridiculous theories & quotes out of context in newspaper – Glasgow             Herald

Brian’s fretting about maybe having to cancel that night’s London performance, & calling J & P’s families

Mal turns on telly and gasps.