it's exactly important days like these when thoughts like mine and people like you pop up. 

i start to see things in a different light, start to imagine what it feels like for the other side.

whether i'm right or not, whether my anger towards you is viable. towards anyone.

and then i start to admit, many of my ideas and actions were pointless. useless. they didn't even really ever bring me the momentary relief i spouted them for. 

but after all that, i think about what you say to me. you rarely ever admit fault, and in many ways you are similar to me. 

you love throwing shade quietly, much to my dismay. a lot of pent up anger, too.

yes, i saw that. no regrets, huh? 

of course, you don't. no changes needed. 

because you knew this would happen.

but i must applaud how easily you swipe away your problems. i wish i could too. 

but if i could, this account wouldn't exist, neither would the more important events of the past few years.

it feels like i have gone, yet i'm still here. like, i'm in two places at once, two feelings at once.

i seem to retreat and do what i do best nowadays.

watch. observe. learn. 

it's done me a lot more good than bad, and yet i still leave feeling, what's that word?

incomplete. like i've, lost myself somewhere. and i can't get out. 

trapped. uncomfortable. alone.

alas, enough of my inner thoughts.

i'll end this on a high note, the fact that i'm graduating soon.

 and by then, may all our problems and lost loves, as well as forgotten ones, be solved.

i'll put up more soon. stay safe. be happy.