There're quite a bit of dirty jokes in here so be prepared. 

"I've got some pick-up lines here. I'm going to read them to you."

"Erwin, I'm pretty sure you're drunk seeing as your breaths smells like you drank tons of vodka and I don't remember there being this many empty glass bottles on your desk."

"Just let me read these pick-up lines to you."

"You're drunk."

"This isn't destructive so why can't I read this to you?"

"Because you don't know what you're saying."

"It's not as if I actually mean them when I say them to you."

". . . Right. Still no."

"Are your hands feeling heavy? 'Cause I can hold them for you."

"Erwin, I said no. Stop it."

"Is there a mirror in your pants? 'Cause I can see myself in them. Ha-ha!"

"Erwin I'm warning you."

"You're just like my little toe. I'm going to bang you on every piece of furniture."

"That's it! . . . Why the fuck are you hugging  me."

"Because you need a hug."

"No I don't."

"Yes you do."

"You just wanna restrain me so you can keep reading pick-up lines without me killing you."

"You'd never kill me, Levi; you love me!"

"Like hell I do you annoying, old, oaf."

"Do you have a sunburn? Or are you always this hot? . . . You can't just keep kicking me in the shin, and I know you don't really mean that."

"I can see you flinching."

"Are you a light switch? 'Cause you turn me on. . . . On a rate from 1-10 you're a 9, 'cause I'm the 1 you need. . . . OUCH."

"Why don't you let go of me now."

"Not gonna happen. If we were both squirrels, I'd store my nuts in your hole."

"Your heart's beating oddly fast."

"If you're feeling down I can feel you up."

"Why is your heart beating so fast?"

"There will be only 7 planets after I destroy Uranus."

"What's a planet. And Erwin did you hear my question?"

"Do I know you? 'Cause you look like my next boyfriend."

"Erwin you little shit you're squeezing me too tight. Let go."

"Are you art? Because I wanna nail you up against a wall."

"That's tightening and not loosening, Erwin."

"You may fall from a tree and you may fall from you 3DM gear, but the best way to fall is for me. And sorry. Did that help? . . . WAIT GOD, Levi what the fuck?!"

"I hope the imprint of your face stays on that table for a long time."

"You better not have broken my nose."

"You're right. Did I actually break your nose?"

"I think so."

"Great! This is what happens when you get drunk. There's a reason I hid all the alcohol, y'know."

"I'm not drunk; I'm just intoxicated by you. You really are intoxicating, Levi."

"You really are drunk, Erwin."

"Do you live on a chicken farm? 'Cause you sure know how to raise a cock."

"I can see that."

"You seem to be lacking Vitamin D. I can fix that."

"I have given up. I'm waiting 'till you pass out."

"There's a sale in my bedroom right now: all clothes are 100% off. . . . Your legs look nice. When do they open? . . . Are you Ariel? 'Cause we were mer-made for each other. . . . I'll treat you like my homework: I'll slam you into the table and do you all night long."

"How many pick-up lines do you have? And where did you get them?"

"I memorized a lot of them."

" . . . Why?"

"Because I wanted to try some out on you."

"So you were trying to . . . "pick me up"?"

"Essentially."

"You can sweep me off my feet any day."