NOT LIKE THIS ACTUALLY  HAPPENED TO ME OR ANYTHING AHAHAHHA

complete crackfic don't min the emoticons haha

~*~

Okay, okay, he needs to think about what exactly he was gonna say. Plans are his thing, right? He can do this. He can do this? No, wait, he can fucking do this! Yeah, get yourself hyped, Erwin.

It's time.

He typed in the words.

He pressed send.

Erwin
<Please go out with me?>

He waited in almost abject terror for the response.

Levi
<No>

AHHHHH ABORT MISSION. EVERYONE EVACUATE.

The little people living inside Erwin's brain—the ones who usually were there to help him strategize—had just completely jumped out of the window and left him hangin'. Thanks guys, he thought scornfully. Where are tiny, mini-people when you need them?!

Then the gravity of the situation set in.

He just asked out one of his best friends—he really hated that word right now—Levi Ackerman and he'd gotten ... flat-out rejected with a capital R.

Damn. Well, he knew Levi was sometimes rude just not ... that rude.

No, no, those were not tears poking at the corner of his eyes, just eye-sweat. This blanket he just wrapped around himself was not a comfort blanket, but an innovative way to keep the cold and other people away. Him shutting off his phone? Definitely not a sign of cowardice because he just couldn't bear to see a text from the man who just rejected him. No, no, Erwin Smith wouldn't dare do these things just because some high school crush didn't agree to go out with him.

Erwin Smith was strong.

Erwin Smith was sad.

;-;

Meanwhile at Levi's house . . .

"OMFG, FARLAN, IT WON'T SEND."

"It's not sending?! I'm so sorry. Your relationship with this man is over."

"I'm gonna go cry underneath a sheet because he thinks I just rejected him."

"No, no, Levi. You mustn't do this to yourself! You must confront the awkward situation! He's probably really sad right now and you're just going to let your future boyfriend down like that? For shame!"

Levi sighed. "Okay. . . . Okay, I see your point."

"Finally!"

"I see that I'm an awful person and therefore don't deserve him."

Farlan deadpanned. "Levi, what the fuck?"

"What?!"

"Fucking straighten this mess out right now or I'll have Izzy put snakes in your pillowcase again."

"Okay, first of all, that was fucking dangerous as hell yet predictable because, well, no offense or anything, but it's Izzy of all people."

"Yeah, no, I agree with you. Izzy's pretty ... crazy."

"Haha, you can say that again."

"Yeah ... Wait, stop getting me side-tracked with your evil, manipulative bullshit!"

"Me? Evil and manipulative? Never!"

"That was the worst lie ever. Now, please, explain to the audience already what is happening because I'm pretty sure they're sick of our bullshit."

"Um, blame the author."

"Of what?"

"Our lives."

"Wow. That was deep."

"Ikr."

Okay screw this there is no way to put this eloquently.

Levi had been standing there in his basement with his best friend Farlan right beside him when he'd gotten the text from Erwin asking him out, and for some odd, weird reason, instead of just replying with the acceptable "Yes", he thought of "No problem".

Who the fuck says no problem instead of yes when being asked out?

Apparently, Levi did.

When reaching to hit the "P" key (no laughing, you hooligans) on his phone keyboard,  he accidentally hit send, turning his message from "No problem" to "No". A truly horrifying occurrence, for the record.

To make things even worse, the "problem" part of his message wasn't sending.

God, this was just one giant misunderstanding ...

To Be Continued ... DUN, DUN, DUUUUUUUUN

~*~

Also, bruh, I finished chapter one for that Eruri story so long ago but I stopped myself from impulse-posting and so now, I've done the responsible thing and given it my friend to edit for me because I'm a lazy person.

Stay fabulous, my pretties heuhuehuehueheu

Have some memes:

But it's so true and if Levi hadn't given into his fucking emotions then we wouldn't have the parasite that is the Ape Titan.

Fuck you, emotions. No one likes you.