Shamelessly no plot

Levi found out quickly after joining the Scouting Regiment, that Erwin overworked himself and Levi really couldn't say anything because he'd become even more of a hypocrite than he already was. As the commander of the Scouting Regiment, Erwin had lots of responsibilities on his shoulders, but after Erwin would stay that way for a while, the differences were more noticeable than not. Overworking often resulted in hating the tea Levi brought him (even though he won't admit it out of politeness), headaches, migraines, frustration, and -- most of all -- irritability. This one was particularly annoying.

Levi would be doing nothing except his assigned job. He'd walk down to Erwin's office with papers that needed to be signed and get yelled at for absolutely nothing except being there. Levi didn't usually listen to the ramblings that came out of Erwin's mouth at that point, but he added it to his list of symptoms. Not only was this not beneficial to himself and Erwin, but the Scouting Regiment in general.

Stupid decisions were often made when Erwin was too tired to lift even the quill in his hand even though he's constantly insisting that it's when he works best and Levi needed to make sure they stopped happening lest Erwin accidentally sign off on the wrong budget and they went bankrupt. Everyone knew the higher-ups were just itching for something to go wrong with the most-hated regiment of the three so they could successfully rile up enough common people to support them in taking it down. They could do it without the people's consent, but that would cause waves of unease to flow over the citizens they considered tiny grains of sand on a mile-long beach. They treated the lives of the people like killing a person was nothing but child's play.

It was very disturbing to hear once Levi had finally reached the surface and escaped the hell of a city that'd been covered in a peaceful façade so it could be forgotten about just so he could be thrown into another identical world where the only difference was the ceiling. Eventually, though, Levi had accepted the unfortunate state of things. Erwin had told him to get used to it. There were a lot of lying politicians out there who were only in it for the money and the comfy chairs, he'd said, so don't trust any of them immediately. Levi knew that the MPs were lacking in skill and training from his own encounters with them, but he thought that perhaps it was because the people were so calm above that they didn't need much governing. He didn't voice that thought aloud to Erwin; it seemed too foolish to mention. In a sea of souls, there was bound to be a tainted one.

Even that had sparked a long conversation between the two on when the right time to trust someone actually was. Erwin had thrown out a time -- maybe it was 3 or 4 months with his earlier answer being simply "never" until Levi called him a hypocrite -- and Humanity's Strongest had laughed inside his head because he realized that he'd trusted in Erwin's abilities in much less time than that. He didn't think he was odd for doing so. In fact, he often thought he could judge character very well. If Levi had learned anything from his short stay in the regiment, it was that Erwin Smith was loyal and devoted to his cause and soldiers. Levi couldn't sway him over to the "dark side" even if he were actually trying.

Despite Erwin having gained his trust in a record-winning amount of time, it was not brittle in stature. The absolute trust there would be very hard to break, and Levi hoped it never would. But he could never be sure. No one knows if they've made the right choice until they reach a certain outcome. Erwin betraying Levi's trust would be that certain outcome in this case.

But for now, Levi believed in him and the Scouts' message; he cared for them, you could say. Therefore, seeing Erwin work himself to death wasn't exactly the easiest thing to watch.

"You should stop working," Levi had remarked once late during the night when Erwin had stayed up well past the curfew he forced upon the rest of the soldiers.

Levi sat precariously on the edge of the chair that stood on the opposite side of the desk from Erwin. From this position, he could affectively stare like a vulture stalking his pray until it got uncomfortable and the man across from him just had to look up from the seemingly endless paperwork.

"There isn't usually this much paperwork. What's happened all of a sudden to cause this?" Levi's second attempt at conversation still wasn't doing anything. After Erwin had looked up, he'd looked down. "Stop ignoring me. I'm sitting right here, y'know, or is your head buried too far in this stack of work for you to notice your surroundings?"

Erwin had sighed and Levi almost smiled. At least he'd gotten a reaction out of this stone-wall of a man.

"C'mon. If you were annoyed, I'm sure you would've sent me out a while ago. Ha, Erwin Smith enjoys my company, ay?"

When Erwin looked up at him, any emotion that could've possibly still been in his eyes or on his cheeks had disappeared. Levi was uncharacteristically upset to see that it resembled what he looked liked when he was on the battlefield.

"Levi -- "

"You need to stop working. Come with me for a moment." Two short commands and Erwin's resolve had weakened considerably. There were three beats of silence as they sat there staring each other down before Levi reached across the desk and pulled Erwin up by the arm.

"Wow," Erwin breathed once he'd managed to find purchase on the floor.

"What? Didn't think I could lift you?"

"No, it's not that." He congratulated himself on not stuttering which would've been quite embarrassing considering who he was talking to.

"What was it then?"

"It was surprising how hard it was to stand," he lied. Erwin at this point in his life had perfected the art of lying and Levi had perfected the art in telling when someone was lying, but he wasn't going to mention it now; he'd gotten Erwin at least standing up even though the inked quill still lay in the crook of his hand.

Levi swiftly lead Erwin past the door and through the dark hallway by his hand which was still firmly clasped between his fingers. It's not as if his grip was extremely tight, so he wasn't keeping Erwin there, and for some reason it gave him a small thrill that settled into his veins quite pleasantly. The closest to a smile Levi had gotten to in the past few months had been a smirk, and so that was what was plastered upon his face as they travelled around roughly in the dark, almost completely blind to their surroundings.

"Where are we going?" Erwin asked as he'd made a particularly hard bump into the corner of a wall.

"No idea. Let's let fate decide."

Erwin almost laughed with the silliness of it all.

Eventually, the two men found themselves on the first floor of the HQ, with the front door only inches away. Levi shrugged as he pulled them towards the door, but Erwin was hesitant. Levi turned to look at him with the obvious question written all over his face. Erwin simply shook his head at him before taking the lead and instead dragging Levi behind him. What that small scene was about, Levi didn't bother to ask him. It was probably insignificant, but with Levi's knowledge of how people's emotions worked, that small thing probably lead to a deeper, darker, hidden away secret. Then again, he could just be fantasizing and making Erwin out to be much more of an interesting man than he was. But there was no harm in that, was there?

Their hands were sweaty and usually Levi would've been extremely appalled with someone else's bodily fluids touching his skin, but right then for some reason he honestly didn't care. For most of his life, he'd dealt with the same fugitives in the underground and the same dirty, merchants and perverts that all had the same goal, same backstory (the only exception of course being his trusted friends Farlan and Isabel), but there was this man here who had much bigger problems than the usual he was used to dealing with. Levi was unlike others and didn't particularly fear the unknown, so instead of this odd man he'd met a few months ago dragging him off into the night seeming like a terrifying thing, it wasn't. Besides, if worst came to worst, Levi was sure he could take the old man down in seconds. The feeling of muddy water cascading down his face suddenly came back and for once he actually doubted himself for a moment.

Levi had been so lost in thought that he'd continued walking after they'd stopped, leaving Erwin to coral him back in.

A beautiful symphony of noises performed by the night animals filled the air and Erwin felt some sort of peace in it. Levi however was still adjusting. He'd spent a good 30 or so years in the underground. It was hard to adjust so quickly to all the new noises, sights, sounds, and smells of the cities that actually had warm sunlight. He'd often look at Erwin's sun-kissed skin after a day of training and wonder what he would've looked like had he lived in the same conditions as himself. Would his eyes shine like so? Would his skin be paler, like a ghost longing for something? Would he have such a passion for the Survey Corps? No, he eventually decided, he wouldn't. Levi's very glad that Erwin wasn't there. The world would be in a darker state of affairs otherwise.

"What are we doing out here?" Levi asked, taking surreptitious glances at the taller blond as often as he could.

Erwin was standing stock-still, moonlight illuminating his cheekbones and casting shadows across his face. It made him look . . . ominous.

"Why do you think humanity was created?"

It was a question out of the blue, from deep within the confines of a mind that longed to have some sort of way to express itself without the watching eyes of soldiers and civilians. Levi knew better than to take it lightly.

He answered slowly after a short pause, "To live."

Erwin turned to look at him.

Levi continued: "Of course we're here to live. We all have a natural instinct to survive, so our purpose must be to live. Of course, my goal was to live life as comfortably as possible with few incidents, but it seems those plans have been spoiled. Besides . . . I don't think I could do that now by myself."

Erwin was silent for a moment, probably contemplating how to respond. He said, "So if that's not your goal, then what is?"

"To get out. It . . . smells in here. I've lived with that stink all my life, so I  never realized it was abnormal, but after I went outside the walls . . . the sewers were no longer there, only the grass and the elements. It smelled like loam and fresh soil. Like . . . freedom."

"I didn't know freedom had a scent."

"Well, it does."

"And it smells like loam and fresh soil?"

"But also like air."

"Air has a scent now, too?"

"Oh just shut up," Levi snapped. "Sheesh, I try and share something personal with you and you just ruin the moment."

Erwin was never the best when it came to having close relationships with people. He could do business -- it only took a polite smile and light conversation -- but "normal" conversations were different. How does one go about sharing their thoughts without saying too much?

He sighed. "Sorry."

Levi only gave a short "mph." But then he said, "So, is the Survey Corps all you have in mind? There's nothing else?" The point of all this in the first place was to get Erwin to stop thinking about work, after all.

Erwin was actually surprised; no one had asked him about that. He remembers in his cadet days when the others would ask him what the world held in store for him, and of course he would answer with the generic "I'll join the survey corps and prove my father right," but other than that . . . he honestly didn't know.

He answered truthfully this time -- "I don't know." -- and Levi could definitely tell that it was earnest.

"You've never wanted to . . . have a family? Settle down?" Levi leaned his back against a nearby tree and stealthily warmed his arms with the heat of his hands.

"I'll never take a wife. There's no telling when I'll die, so it's best not to get anyone's hopes up. . . . I actually gave up someone to come here. She's happy now. With Nile."

At this point, Levi wasn't sure who Nile was, but he thought it in his best interest not to ask right then.

"So I suppose being a father's automatically out of the question."

Erwin sighed wistfully. "Yeah . . ."

"That's alright. That's normal. I don't want kids either. I'd just screw 'em up. They'd be just as fucked up as their dad. Plus, having little brats around 24/7 would be pretty damn awful. Diapers? Nu-uh."

Erwin smiled and Levi took pride in that. He hid the fact that being a father actually didn't scare him so much. Levi promised to himself that if he ever had kids,  he'd give them the best life possible so that they wouldn't turn out like him -- caught up in crimes and alone. His kids would be good kids; he was sure of it.

The silence had grown just a bit uncomfortable -- which was too uncomfortable -- and Erwin glanced back the way they'd came. "We'll have to be getting back soon." He held the quill up in his sore hand.

"Oh no you don't." Levi was just a blur as he snatched the quill from Erwin's palm and threw it as far as he could away from them and HQ.

"Levi?! Why would you do that?!" Erwin was genuinely angry with him.

Levi only crossed his arms and stared at him with cold eyes. "Obviously because I don't want you going back to work. You're done."

"What makes you think I do whatever you tell me to? I am still your commander and I still decide how hard you life is. You're tied to me -- if you do bad then I do bad. If I do bad, they'll think you influenced me and you get persecuted, too. Don't forget that. Go back to HQ before I decide to switch your squad and give you more work."

Levi had no reaction. He simply unfolded his arms and walked back, leaving Erwin seething behind him. He really was upset that he'd lost his quill because that was the last one he owned and now he'd have to go into town and buy some new ones! Or . . . he was just tired. Maybe . . . he did need to go to sleep.

Erwin turned back around to look at Levi's retreating form only to have the apology get stuck on the tip of his tongue, not able to escape his mouth. Erwin sighed through his nose. He was a goddamn commander and he didn't have to say sorry, he huffed. But . . . perhaps he should take Levi's advice and just go to sleep.

Erwin started walking forward after Levi, but even when he entered the HQ and searched around for the newest soldier, Levi was no where to be found. Soon, the soft, coolness of his bedsheets surrounded him and before he knew it, his thoughts drifted towards silly things and sleep slowly took over his body.

Later that night, Levi walked into Erwin's bedroom to find a sleeping Erwin, curled up in white bedsheets like a little cat. He looked . . . adorable. The fact that Erwin was sleeping right now instead of working was apology enough.

The next morning, Erwin awoke to an odd feeling. He could tell -- someone had been in his room during the night. He turned and on his nightstand was his quill and a note:

Sorry.
-Levi