Whoops, looks like I wrote another one anyways. Based on a YouTube video I watched on things bilingual people do.

Hanji had a really big upcoming French test, so who better to tutor her than a native French speaker himself? Levi had agreed to help her on the one condition that they speak French the whole time. He said it would help her remember the words more but she thought he was just too lazy to speak English.

Their school wasn't exactly what you could call top-of-the-line, so most of the building had leaking roofs and busted floors, and yet some principal must've been a bibliophile or something, because their library was better than the entire district's. Levi chose to teach her there, near the back where the windows were, a table and chairs hidden by tall bookcases. It was like a tiny cubby hole no one ever went in. There was more than just one set of tables, but most of them had never been sat in (take into account it's new). The shelves and furniture were inexplicably dust-free which Levi seemed to take an innate liking to, this coming as no surprise to Hanji who noticed his OCD-like tendencies for cleaning since the get-go.

It'd been nearly ten minutes when there was a grumble of frustration.

"I don't understand," groaned Levi, breaking their English-free zone.

Hanji began, "Hey, you're not speaking in Fre—!"

"I mean, you're practically fluent! Did you just call me here to waste my time?" Levi shot her an accusing glare.

"No, that wasn't my intention," Hanji sighed. "I was just ... I dunno ... worried, is all."

It sounded lame but that was just how it was.

Levi sighed and rolled his eyes. "Hanji, you're a straight-A student and you're probably gonna be the next Einstein. I'm sure you've got nothing to worry about."

"Heh, yeah, you're probably right. To be honest, it's ... well, can I tell you something kind of personal."

He gave her a look. "Well, how personal are we talkin'? If it's something gynecological then absolutely not but--"

"What about relationships? Are you fine with those?"

He grunted, "What do you think?"

Using her best voice to sound overly-pretentious, she said, "I think that you think you suck at relationships and they make you uncomfortable and nauseous because you're practically the basic definition of a 'tsundere' from some Japanese cartoon and can't handle your feelings. You also don't really want to hear about them because, as I said before, you think you suck at them and are secretly afraid of giving bad advice and ruining someone's life."

She crossed her arms and pursed her lips. Levi was dumbstruck and somewhat speechless, but he would die before he allowed it to show on his face. No way someone who wasn't him was so impeccably correct in assessing his thoughts and emotions! Then again, he kind of ... really sucked with feelings. So ... maybe that was possible.

Levi cocked an eyebrow, somewhat glaring at her without meaning to. "Should we add future real-life Sherlock Holmes to the list of great things you could achieve?"

She smiled. "Yes, thank you, I'd greatly appreciate it!"

"You're so full of yourself sometimes," he criticized.

"Nah, it's called being self-confident and you should try it some time."

"I'm actually super self-confident!"--grumbling.

"Really? How self-confident exactly? Could you walk up to the guy you have a crush on and ask him out?" It was her turn to raise an eyebrow, except this insinuated something more playful and teasing.

"I am hurt. How dare you try to exploit me for your own personal enjoyment!" Levi dramatically grabbed at his chest, as if her words had pierced his heart and now caused him immense pain. "At least you know why I can't help you with your relationship problems. Also, I didn't know you had a boyfriend."

Hanji gave him a look.

"Or a girlfriend."

She chuckled. "But you see, you actually can help me."

"How so?" His curiosity had been piqued, despite himself, and now he kind of did wanna know about Hanji's relationship with this secret girlfriend of hers.

"She, uh, she natively speaks French and I thought it'd be really cool to ask her out in her native language instead of being generic and using English." Was that a blush he saw on her cheeks? Was Hanji embarrassed?! Such a rare sight, this was, and Levi was going to milk it for all its worth.

Without changing his face very much, he said, "Aw, does Hanji have a wittle cwushy-wushy?"

"If you're going to attempt to make fun of me, you could at least put some emotion on your face. Honestly, the effect is just ruined when you're the one saying it."

He sighed. "Emotions aren't my strong point."

"Ha! I can tell."

Levi looked out the window. "Well, if I help you ask this girl out, what do I get in return?"

"That's easy!" She smiled. "I'm going to help you ask your crush out."

If Levi had been drinking something (and if he hadn't been in a library where food and drink was restricted), he would've spit it out.

"What do you mean?" he asked, failing to keep the surprise and anxiety from his voice.

Ignoring his question, she continued: "But first I'll need to know who your crush is. So, let's see ... Is it Mike? ... No? Okay, uh, Nanaba? ... Oh, that one was really far off. Um ... " She continued to make assumptions based off of his reactions even when he wasn't changing his facial expressions. Quite odd, really. Was she some kind of scientist-psychic out to embarrass gay teens across the state?

Levi sighed, hiding the relief he felt when she continued to get colder and colder. "Just give it up, Hanji. You're not gonna--"

"Erwin Smith?"

He should've acted normal. He should've. Instead, his breath hitched in his throat and his just stared at her, mouth open but only for a second.

"Uh, no," he said. Levi scowled at himself. Why did he have to naturally sound so goddamn sarcastic?!

"Pff, you're totally lying!" she announced happily, satisfied with her conclusion. "Erwin Smith's my guy then, haha!"

Levi was about to object again, scold her for how foolish she was acting, but then he stopped breathing for a moment as he realized Erwin was walking through the library doors and heading over to their corner at that very moment. Usually, he would've admired how he and Erwin both seemed to like quiet, secluded places, but now was not the time to have his charming face show up. Couldn't he catch a break for one day?

Erwin had reached them. "Hm?" he wondered at them. "Thought I heard my name."

Hanji began: "Oh—!"

Levi slapped a hand over her mouth just in time before she said anything that ruined his life forever. "We were just discussing how you got the top scores in exams. Congratulations, by the way."

Erwin gave him a look. Shit, now he thinks I'm  a weirdo, he thought.

But there was no need to worry, it seems, because the look soon fell off of Erwin's face to be replaced with a sparkling smile. (Like damn, if his teeth got any brighter, they'd blind you.)

"I should congratulate you, too, then!" said Erwin. "After all, you got some of the top marks, as well."

How polite! God, he was just the whole package wasn't he? Nice? Check. Cool? Check. Still a little nerdy? Check. Hot? Check and mate.

Levi tried for a smile and tried to forget the feeling of Hanji licking his hand away. "Thank you very much."

Erwin nodded and only when he was sat down with his books opened, did Levi finally release his hand from Hanji's mouth.

They spoke in French.

"Speak in French now," he scolded.

"Why do you always get to break the rules?"

"Because I'm the dictator here."

"I thought you were my teacher?"

"Same difference."

She shrugged. "You're not wrong." A pause. "So that's the guy?" she asked.

Levi couldn't meet her eyes. "Oui ... "

"Why don't you just ask him out?"

"Because I, well, I ... I don't know if he's gay!" he shouted triumphantly. Yeah, that was a damn fine reason to run away from his feelings. "Besides, he wouldn't go out with me anyways."

"Psh," Hanji scoffed. "Well, maybe he likes midget assholes from hell. You never know."

"Tch, thanks for the compliment."

"No problem! Where else could I let out all my asshole-ish sarcastic statements?"

Their conversation stopped abruptly when Hanji noticed Erwin standing right behind Levi with a small piece of paper held in his hand. She gave Levi a weird look.

Still speaking in French, he asked, "What is it?" He didn't think he actually was, but just for shits and giggles, he said, "He's right behind me, isn't me?"

But Hanji actually shook her head yes. Wait, what the fuck?

Levi turned around. "Salut?" he said uncertainly.

"Salut," Erwin greeted back. Perfect French accent. Wait. Oh shit. "Si vous êtes intéressé, voici mon numéro de cellulaire." (If you're interested, here's my cell number.)

Levi was having a miniature heart attack. If Erwin spoke French then ... he'd heard everything they'd been saying. But wait, he was handing him his cell number?! How should he react?! Okay, okay, he told himself, don't do anything stupid!

"M-Merci ... " he stammered. (Thanks ... ) Ugh, that was totally stupid.

"De rien." (You're welcome.)

Then Erwin just kind of looked away and awkwardly walked out of the library, stiff as a board. Hanji was giggling her ass off and Levi's entire face and body felt like it was on fire.

It took a shit ton of embarrassment, but ...

Levi looked down at the small paper in his hands.

... at least he got a phone number.