Again, horribly bad and not edited. Levi's probably SUPER OOC because Idk I just wanted to write this before the idea went away. *cough* I suck at writing in first person especially as Levi *cough*

"SURPRISE LEVI!" came the loud shout of a wild Hanji that just so happened to have wandered into my house.

"What do you want, shitty glasses?" I shouted more than asked. "What did I say about barging in like that?! Learn how to knock!"

"Oh, it doesn't matter all that much Levi! Stop being a grump and get over it! AND HEY! Do you have a  one dollar bill?"

I had been sitting on my couch trying to trick my brain into thinking that I was reading while actually thinking about the guy I'd met at the coffee place earlier. It was making me feel extremely confused and frustrated so by the time that Hanji had interrupted me, I was just itching to yell at somebody. I mean, there's no possible way that somebody can look that handsome at any given moment -- it's just not possible. He was so tall and I bet his height wasn't the only big thing.

Wait what am I thinking. There's a wild Hanji in my house that I have to get rid of.

"Hanji, if you wanted money just go pester Jean; he literally gets annoyed so easily that he'll just pay you any amount without question."

"Nahhhhh. Kirstein is busy on his date with Marco!"

My face didn't look surprised at all even if this was the first I was hearing about their relationship. "Good. The glances they've been giving each other all the time is agonizingly painful to watch. The sexual tension could've killed them."

"Yeah, I wasn't surprised either. I don't think anyone was. BUT ANYWAYS, one dollar bill?"

"Why do you need one?"

"Yes?"

"Not until you tell me the reason."

"I have this really cool trick that I wanna show you and it involves a one dollar bill!"

I squinted at her. "I don't believe you."

"But could you give it to me anyways?"

"No." I made it clear that my opinion wasn't going to be swayed.

She sighed, exasperated. However I was suspicious because after countless failing science experiments there's no way she gives up so easily. I opted not to mention anything since I could accidentally give her ideas.

After a couple moments of her pouting and just standing in my living room, she suddenly sprung up and smiled at me which was also not surprising because remember, this is Hanji; she has weird behavior.

I squinted at her.

"I thought you values your guests, Levi!" she squealed. "Where's the tea and crumpets?"

"Crumpets? Who even eats those anymore?"

"The British."

"Whatever. And no, I'd prefer not to give you crumpets."

"Tea?"

"Why do you want me to treat you like a guest? Being treated like a friend is nicer to me," I scoffed.

"Yes, but being treated as a guest means I get food."

"Will you shut up if I give you tea?"

"Yes! I'll be completely silent!"

I narrowed my eyes at her again in suspicion. "Really?"

"Yeah really just go get me tea," she said and this time she sounded much more belligerent than usual.

"God fine, lunatic."

She made a show of zipping up her lips and throwing away the key.

Okay something is definitely wrong; she didn't even protest me calling her a lunatic.

"Fine, just come in the kitchen with me so I can make us some tea."

Hanji began to motion towards her lips and I had no other choice than to think she had something to say. 

Just to be annoying, I shook my head no. "I don't feel like hearing your voice right now."

She started doing the pee-pee dance and I almost face-palmed. 

"Fine, go to the bathroom first. Then come to the kitchen."

She sped off in the direction of the bathroom. Hanji'd been over to my house so many times she didn't need to be told directions. In fact, she knew pretty much the entire layout of the house and where I kept all my valuables. . . . 

Well that wasn't very smart of me. 

Oh well, though, it's not like I can do anything about it now. She has a photographic memory so she literally remembers everything that she happens to read or even do. That would be awful , wouldn't it? I mean, I have definitely done some things in my life I'd love to forget. Like that one time I ate that falafel . . . wait, aren't I supposed to be getting tea? Yeah I am. I shall walk to the kitchen now. 

"Hey, you wanna go to Starbucks?" Hanji suddenly said from practically right behind me as I stood by the stove making our tea.

"What the fuck? How did you go to the bathroom so fast?" I shouted. "And I just made you tea!"

"NO YOU DIDN'T!"

"Hanji it's right fucking there."

"NO IT ISN'T."

"Why do we have to go get Starbucks? They're hella expensive."

"NO THEY AREN'T. COME ON, LEVI, LET'S JUST GO."

"WHY ARE YOU YELLING."

"I'M NOT, YOU ARE."

"WHAT? NEVERMIND LET'S JUST GO, YOU STUPID FUCKING LUNATIC."

"Hey, why do you swear so much?" she asked, curiously. "I wonder . . . that's not a bad experiment. I wonder what happens when you swear. Probably something close to stress relief because swearing has been shown to alleviate stress, but what about those people that swear all the time like you and the word loses its meaning? What kind of emotional impact does swearing have then? Nothing? Or just a smaller impact on their emotions? And that's just emotionally what about physically? Could it make their muscles relax more? I doubt that would happen-- . . ."

"Hanji what the fuck are you talking about?"

"Nothing, let's go."

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

"Hanji . . . did you . . . ?"

"Did I do what?" she giggled. 

The air smelled annoyingly like coffee and the place was packed with students from the nearby college with all the latest computers and notebooks right next to them. I remember college . . . yeah let's not go there. I don't know, but my thoughts seemed to wander more than usual today. I also seemed happier. What if it was because I'd met that guy earlier? I keep wondering how the fuck he made such a big impact with 15 seconds of conversation that included asking for my change and, "Have a nice day." 

You know what else I'm wondering how the fuck happened?

The  lighting in this building. You ever noticed how coffee shops always have dim lighting? That's annoying. Or is it just the coffee shop that we go to -- Starbucks? I don't know, but anyways the lighting was dim and it was pissing me off because I was trying to look for my credit card and I couldn't find it in this annoying dim lighting. 

"Did you . . . go in my wallet when you went to the bathroom earlier?" I asked skeptically.

"Whaaaaaaat? What makes you say that?"

"The fact that my credit cards are gone and I only ever let them outta sight when you came over," I stated blatantly. 

"Well maybe I did."

"Why would you do that?!" I sounded much angrier now and frustrated. I only had change left and I knew that I didn't have enough for the small tea I'd bought. Why am I even doing this? I have tea at home. 

"You wouldn't give me a dollar earlier and I needed one. Notice how you're missing a lot of your dollars."

"Motherfucker. Well, you're paying for my coffee."

"Just use your change and I'll give you whatever you need," she answer lightly. She was giving up too easily; she had to've been planning something. I narrowed my eyes and became cautious, but got out all the change I had and noticed that I was a dollar short. 

"Gimme a dollar," I ordered. 

"Sure. Once we get up there." She smirked which left me wondering if I was just playing right into her hands.

"Alright then."

That's when I noticed the guy at the cash register. It was the same guy from before with his slicked back, blonde hair and all his muscles and his height because damn he was tall and, still, very sexy. I couldn't decide if I was very lucky or very unlucky to have him as my cashier.

It seems I was unlucky as my pulse quickened and I could feel my face practically burning at the thought of being watched by him and I stared down at the dollar bill that Hanji had given me.

"Give me a different dollar bill."

She giggled. "Nope."

"Hanji, don't do this to me. Give me a different dollar bill."

She dramatically sighed, "Aw, fine. I will." I knew it wasn't gonna be that simple since Hanji never gives up so easily. My suspicions were confirmed when I saw the same sharpie written on this dollar too. On the side with the ONE on it, a B and an R were written on the beginning and the end respectively to make the word "boner" which stood out painfully against the green ink of the dollar.

"I can take the next order!" calls Mr. Handsome -- as I've taken to calling him -- in his amazing voice.

I try not to openly wince as I walk up to him and order. When he tells me how much it'll be and I try to be inconspicuous about handing him that dollar bill. He still counts it though and I'm just waiting for him to give me a face that just screams, "What the fuck?" but it doesn't come.

In fact, I'm pleasantly greeted with the sound of deep laughter coming from his chest.

I start to laugh awkwardly along, but I can tell I'm just making a fool of myself so I slowly stop and wait to be handed my coffee.

So yeah. That didn't go as bad as I thought it would.

And Hanji had a large bump on the back of her head for about a week after I whacked her across the head and stole all the change out of her wallet.

I wrote this during play practice when I had nothing to do ._. All that build-up for less than 100 words of climax xD