Stupid Quotes

Just ridiculous quotes from our characters in this story and from The Owl and the Tailor. Don't take it all serious. Just for fun!

Let's go!

Warning: Just this being stupid, cursing, inappropriate situations, a few sexual remarks and to be patience on chapters.

I don't own any of these quotes besides small edits.

Error/Moxxie/Puppet: Talking

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Charlie: Define "dream".

Moxxie/Error: Dream - the first thing people abandon when they understand how this world works.

Charlie: That's too dark!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Stolas: Look, Andrealphus. I want to apologize for everything I said and done. For what it's worth, I really like having you around.

Andrealphus: No, you don't.

Stolas: I know. I have dreams where I staple your fingers to your face

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Striker: The therapist I hunted the other day told me I'm obsessive and that I have problems with seeking revenge...

Striker, lift weapons up: We'll see about that.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Moxxie: Let's discuss how to prevent fires.

Millie, holding explosives: Prevent them?

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Stolas: You are a textbook narcissist!

Andrealphus: I am an exceptional narcissist!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Moxxie/Error: Hey Ivy, can I go out to the club?

Ivy: What did Maria say?

Moxxie/Error: She said no.

Ivy: So why are ye askin' me?

Moxxie/Error: Because she's not the boss of you.

Ivy, internally: *It's a trap it's a trap it's a trap it's a trap.*

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Stella: You are overly dramatic.

Andrealphus: [holding a crystal wine glass, throwing rose petals, adorned in more red velvet clothing, draping across the organ] I have no idea what you're talking about.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Ivy: Being a lesbian isn't a choice. It's a competition and I'm winning! *Lift Maria up her prize*

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Stella: What's wrong with you?

Stolas: Off the top of my head, I'd say low self-esteem, a lack of parental affection, and a genetic predisposition for anxiety and depression.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Stolas, running into Paimon chambers: I came as soon as news was spread! Is it true your terribly ill?

Paimon: Why do you sound so hopeful?

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Millie: ...Yeah, slip your blade right around there, cut just an inch or two below the skin, open up the artery and they're down. Drained in less than a minute.

Blitzo: ... You're scaring me now.

Millie: What? Did you forget that I was a professional killing machine?

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Mammon: True love isn't about what's on the outside, it's about what's on the inside.... the wallet.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Loona: I'm not bad at expressing my emotions.

Millie: You are the worst at expressing your emotions.

Loona: Not true! I'm better at it than Moxxie!

Blitzo: Yeah, but that bar is so low it's sinking into the ground.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Moxxie/Error: Look, this doesn't have to be a big deal. Whoever took that chocolate, come forward and all will be forgiven.

IMP, Stolas, Verosika, rats and anyone else:

Moxxie/Error: Smart. You knew I would never forgive you.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Asmodeous: I may look fine on the outside, but on the inside I'm hungry again.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Blitzo: Are you implying that I'm stupid? Because if you are you're wrong.

Loona: Evidence suggests otherwise.

Blitzo: Oh, he does, does he? Well, I'm gonna find this Evidence guy and give him a piece of my mind!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Doc/Dr.Medea: I'm sorry to tell you this, but you do have a heart and the capacity to feel.

Moxxie/Error: You take that back!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Blitzo: Are you mad?

Millie: No.

Blitzo: So, sharpening your knives at 3 in the morning is just a hobby?

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Blitzo: So, what exactly is Millie to you?

Moxxie/Error: The reason I wake up every morning.

Blitz I: Aww, that's nice.

[earlier that day]

Millie, bursting into Moxxie room: DUDE YOU'LL NEVER BELIEVE THIS-

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Vortex: You bought a taco?

Verosika: Yes.

Vortex: From the same truck that just ran over your ex?

Verosika: Well, me starving isn't going to help.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Stella: Who the fuck are you?

Moxxie/Error/Puppet: Who the fuck are you?

Stella: I asked you first.

Moxxie/Error/Puppet: I asked you second

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Alastar: People tell me I have a unique way of lighting up the room!

Ivy: It's called arson and those "people" are witnesses.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Loona: See, Via, the way this whole friendship thing works is you have to tell each other the deep stuff.

Octavia: The deep stuff? Uh oh. Like what?

Loona: Like... what's your favorite color?

Octavia: Now you've stepped over the line.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Stella: You're really pushing my buttons.

Error/Moxxie/Puppet: Which one is mute?

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Striker: Truth or dare?

Moxxie/Dare: Truth.

Striker: How many hours have you slept this week?

Moxxie/Error: Dare.

Striker: I dare you to go to sleep.

Moxxie/Error: I don't like this game.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Stolas: I got a package from Father!

Octavia: What is it?

Stolas: It's heavy, must be his disappointment in me!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Blitzo: Why should I help you?

Fizzaroli : Because we're friends!

Blitzo: When's my birthday?

Fizzaroli : Unfair. When's my birthday?

Blitzo: I don't know because we're not friends.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Target: What are you gonna do? Shoot me? HAHAHA

Error/Moxxie:

Error/Moxxie: *shoots them*

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Susie: Striker, swear you'll be on your best behavior!

Striker: Oh, I'll swear.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Moxxie/Error: Love is an empty emotion in this black hole we call life.

Loona: Now Fatass, this is no time to recite your wedding vows

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Loona: Take this sword.

Octavia: I don't believe in violence.

Loona: Trust me, it's very real.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Bloody: If you took a shot every time you made a bad decision, how drunk would you be?

Millie: Maybe a little bit tipsy.

Blitzo: Drunk.

Verosika: Wasted.

Moxxie/Error: Dead.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Stella: I think the words you're searching for are "I surrender".

Stolas: The words I'm searching for I can't say because Octavia is present.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Striker: Moxxie, you are a wonderful demon.

Striker [voice breaking]: Your friendship means a lot to me.

Striker: And you look great.

Moxxie/Error [voice also breaking]: Okay, weirdo.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Blitzo, betrayed: You tricked me!

Fizzarolli: No, I merely deceived you. "Tricked" makes it sound like we have a playful relationship.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Stolas: Well, you know I care about the Ares Goetias ...

Stolas: It's just sometimes I want to get in the carriage and run them all over.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Rando: Wait... you're a lesbian? Why?

Ivy: It started off as a seven-day free trial, but I forgot to cancel so here we are.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Moxxie/Error: You're my best friend. I would do anything for you.

Millie: I want you to eat 3 meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule.

Moxxie/Error: Absolutely not.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Susie: Striker, you're in charge while we're away.

Striker: Alright, I'm your man!

Maria: Keep Mox out of trouble.

Strikee: Okay, I'm kind of your man!

Susie: And don't do anything stupid.

Striker: You need another man.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Verosika: When ye've been a PopStar as long as I have, you develop thick skin.

Blitzo, passing by: Blue is not your color.

Verosika: BLUE BRINGS OUT MY EYES, YOU PRICK! [chases after him]

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Octavia: I changed all my passwords to "incorrect."

Loona: Why?

Octavia: Because if I ever forget, it will remind me, "your password is incorrect."

Loona: That's the most genius piece of idiocy I've ever heard.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Andrealphus: Oh,my satan. Do you know what this is?

Stolas:It's a book. There's a lot of those in here, this is a library.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Fizzaroli: Every time I laughed at one of your jokes, I was faking it!

Blitzo: You monster!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Millie: Ugh!

Moxxie/Error: What's wrong?

Millie: I have this weird pain right above my eyebrow.

Moxxie/Error: It's called a stress headache. I got my first one when I was four

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Stolas: You often use dark humor to deflect serious trauma.

Blitzo: Thank you!

Stolas: I didn't say that was a good thing.

Blitzo: What I'm hearing is you think I'm funny.

~~~~~~~~

Moxxie/Errror: What, I cannot be in a bad mood? It is like people think, 'Oh, Moxxie is such a nice Imp, Moxxie is so happy-go-lucky! Moxxie cannot be in a bad mood!' Well, you know what? I CAN be in a bad mood. And right now, I AM in a bad mood!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Octavia: :(

Robo Fizz: Turn that frown upside down!

Octavia: ):

Robo Fizz: Listen here you little shit-

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Stolas: Are we flirting or fighting right now?

Blitzo: My hands are literally around your neck.

Stolas: Doesn't answer my question.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Stella: Let's play a game of whose life sucks the most. I'll win. I always win.

Moxxie/Error: You don't want to play with me.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Blitzo: If I ever accidentally hurt Mox, I wouldn't be able to sleep at night.

Blitzo: Partly because I'd feel guilty; mostly because I'd know their Madre would be coming for my head.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Striker: Critter and I are held by a force much stronger than love.

Millie, curiously: What's that?

Striker: We both want to have the last word.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Maria: I just got told that I'm "beautiful like a porcelain doll" and that's a new one.

Ivy: Maria, you're beautiful, but you're definitely not a porcelain doll because porcelain is fragile and you're a bad bitch.

Maria, extremely flattered: Aww, Buttercup...

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Blitzo:[Pet his daughter mane] You're so beautiful.

Loona: [Sleeply] I could beat the shit out of you.

Blitzo: [Proud] I know.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Andrealphus: How can ya think Stolas is the most beautiful of the Goetia when I exist? [waves his hand through his feathers dramatically]

Moxxie/Error/Puppet: Well, for one thing, he never whined like a little bitch.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Agent 1: It's too late for you to turn back now! There's no hope for any of you!

Blitzo: We don't know the meaning of the word!

Agent 2: ... Which word?

Moxxie/Error: Take your pick!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Blitzo: You're really campaigning for "Bitch of the Year", aren't you?

Verosika: As defending champion, are ya nervous?

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Child Striker: You know, you don't talk very much.

Child Error: ....

Child Striker: I like you.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Striker: I have no heart. Love is for fools. I'm a Badass Bitch™ who don't need no one in my li-

Moxxie/Error: [exists]

Striker: Well fuck.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Stolas: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you get here that fast?! *tied up*

Blitzo: Several traffic violations

Millie: Three counts of resisting arrest

Loona: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.

Moxxie/Error: Also, that's not our car-

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Rando Parent, after they all leave another meeting: That's right walk away like a bitch.

Maria:.........WHAT.THE.FUCK.DID.YOU.SAY? [Breaks said parent body parts]

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Millie: I dare you to kiss the next person who walks into this room.

Striker: Screw that, I'm not kissing any of you.

Moxxie/Error: *walks in*

Striker: Fine, I'll do it! Rules are rules, you know.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Blitzo: How about I unlace my shoe, turn it sidesway and stick it up your uterus you stupid cunt!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Stolas: You're always so calm, no matter what happens. How do you do it?

Moxxie/Error/Puppet: It's easy. You just have to make yourself dead inside. Then it doesn't matter what happens. Good...bad... nothing gets through, so nothing bothers you. Easy.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Selena: let's say you're driving, and there's Moxxie and Striker on the road. What do you hit first?

Ivy: Striker, of course. I could never hurt Moxxie

Selena: The brakes. You hit the brakes, Ivy.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Joe: *looking over farm worker corpse* We, uh, don't know what killed him.

Sallie May: May I make a suggestion?

Joe: WE'RE NOT GOING TO CUT HIM OPEN SALLIE!!

Sallie May: YOU GUYS ARE BORING!!!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Millie: He doesn't deserve you... If he doesn't treat you right by now, you're gone!

Sallie May: I'm gone.

Millie: NOW GO CHOP HIS DICK OFF-

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Octavia: How petty are you?

Blitzo: I edit Wikipedia pages to win arguments I'm wrong about.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Moxxie/Error: What does "take out" mean?

Loona: Food

Millie: Dating

Blitzo: Murder

Striker: It can mean all three if you're not a coward.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Moxxie/Error: I have a plan

Stolas: It can't involve self-sacrifice.

Moxxie/Error: I no longer have a plan

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Done!

Well, that was fun.

I hope you all enjoy it.

I thank you all for being so patience on waiting for any of the stories updates really. Hopefully something soon. But just have to wait but stuff is being planned.

Might transfer this to the Random Drabbles but for now will stay here.

Until next time.

Bye, bye!