I'm... sad. I'm sad.

Sometimes we don't have a choice and have to make sacrifices. Sometimes we do have a choice, but then it's a matter of priorities... and often the thing you're leaving shouldn't even be on your priority list.

It still hurts. Filling that void is difficult, especially when the reasons why you even had that thing in your life resurface, then you feel weak... so weak.

My heart hurts. My body aches. What does one do when their sacrifices feel painful, I guess they're supposed to be like that but what do I do of these tears that swell up clouding my vision, the same vision that motivated me to give those up.

It wasn't good for me anyways.
It was fading anyways.
I would've lost it soon anyways.
I didn't even like it as much anyways.

But... I had it...

But.... I want it...

But... I miss it...

I want to run back, give up, indulge again like the coward and weakling I am.

What about you? Are you weak too? Or have you sacrificed and stayed consistent? Does it hurt you as well?

It's tough. To let go of your coping mechanisms that are no longer healthy and instead need more coping mechanisms till one day you're in a midst of problems and none of your usual methods is working so you fade out and reevaluate everything and convince yourself you'll get better.

I've left them.

Will I heal though?

Can't say, because for now, it simply feels empty, it feels painful and it hurts.

Ironic.