Disclaimer: All reviews are provided directly from the feedback form. None of the reviews have been edited or altered in any way by the hostesses. What you see is what we received.

Eighth book of the session: April 10th - April 23rd, 2021

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Reviewer: JaszElise

Comments: My review on The Naughty Spaceholder: I am so confused when I read it. But since it was only three chapters I read not including the Cast Note all I can say is wow. No grammar errors which is good, but the plot was the one thing that really confused me. The two best friends, Derek and Catherine have what I described as friendship/fwb relationship and thankfully it's not unbalanced unlike the other friends becoming lover stories I've read. Derek's personality is somewhat amusing because he likes dating mature women and Catherine is really a mature woman. 

But his latest woman named Lisa is really the opposite of what Derek is into. But I can tell that he has real feelings for his best friend since kindergarten but like most boys he doesn't know how to express them. And Catherine is a bit of a diva, but she's rather more mature and sassy which is rather rare to read stories where the female MC can stand up for herself and not go into suicidal mode whenever things doesn't go right. But anyways these two are really compatible for each other but they are two stubborn to admit it. The story didn't actually pull me in so I had to force myself to read it so I can understand what the plot is. The story is good but it's hard to feel anything for the characters in this story. Thank you for letting read your book. I hope that I can read the rest soon.

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Reviewer: Rain96753

Comments: Cast note

This was cute. I liked the meta of the characters introducing the story but know that this may also shatter the immersion for some people. Yes, we know we are delving into a fantasy but there are readers who want to believe the setting is real as well. Just something to keep in mind.

Catherina chapter 1

She's very down to earth, based on the opening paragraphs. I've always been a sucker for someone that loves the sky and attributes new days with new hopes.

Oh that blonde was described hella good. I can still picture her lovely hair and body.

Ah yes. I know people like Derek. The realism is sickening, and I say this as a complement. You captured the relaxed arrogance of a typical hot person and the MCs analysis was spot on.

Oh nice. They surf! That's cool.

So, is the main character secretly in love with Derek? Based in the ending paragraphs, that is what it seems like.

Derek chapter 1

FIFTY SEVEN CALLS? The realism in that line for pushy people is all too uncanny.

You know, I'm pretty indifferent to Derek but he's a believable character and I give him props for establishing boundaries.

Ah yes, when the sex is good but that's the only thing that's good. The struggle is real.

Catherina chapter 2

The MC is very wholesome. She realizes that her friend is a young adult but also worries about the absolute worst that can happen and in reality, she's not far off.

The asshole and nice girl duo. I've seen this countless times before, but I don't say that in a bad way. It just adds to the realism of your story. Good for you. It's important for any piece of fiction to have some grounds for reality.

Honestly, she totally sounds jealous lmao.

Oh okay so they do have a sexual relationship. Interesting.

So, Derek is a cheater, huh? I know these are enticing for erotica's but if your goal was to make him despicable, you've done an excellent job.

Catherina too, for all intents and purposes. You'd think a woman would hate a cheating man but I suppose not.

Sex scene was written well. Good job!

Derek chapter 2

I like the backstory about how his dad would send investigators to him.

Catherina 3

It's good that Catherina has a reasonable friend like Sarah who can call her out for being subservient to some guy that fucks other women but won't "allow her," to date other guys. Yikes, talk about abusive and controlling. I've officially lost all respect in either of the characters.

But hey, as long as she's happy right?

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You had good pacing. I liked the short chapters and the switching of characters. It made it easier and more enjoyable for me to keep up with the story. But also, what are you trying to go for in this story? Derek doesn't seem like a good person and Catherina isn't that good herself considering the cheating dynamic of their relationship. Your writing is good but honestly, I couldn't actually bring myself to care for either of the characters.

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Reviewer: ReggaeGirl4

Comments: Upon reading the blurb, the book seemed like a story about a guy who is in love with his best friend. But as long as she does not want to be with him, he'll date space holders. And she does not want to date him as long as he keeps doing that.

The book met my expectations, as I truly enjoyed this complicated love story seasoned with sexiness and a good portion of humor and directness.

The plot pulled me in instantly. I felt like I needed to know whether Derek and Cathy find each other in the end or end up going their separate ways. I loved the honest writing style, and how the author didn't mince her words.

The characters could use a little more depth. After reading the chapters, I didn't feel like I really got to know either of them. Their relationship on the other hand, is complicated and intriguing. It is obvious they have a lot of fun together, can talk about anything and have great sexual chemistry.

The pace is just right. You don't drag, you don't rush, but you could take a little more time and add descriptions of people, clothing, tastes, smells, rooms etc. so the reader gets a better idea of the general atmosphere.

I loved Derek's POV. Writing through a man's perspective without making him sound like a jerk who only has sex on his mind is an art that not many accomplish. However, you have written his perspective extremely well.

I can't say much about the story progress at this point, but you held my attention all the way to the latest update.

What I liked best about your story was the "are you jealous?" sex scene, as you're excellent at building anticipation and an erotic atmosphere. I consider love scenes a strength of yours that I'd like to explore further as the story continues.

I would definitely read more of your work because what I have read so far has met my taste, and I'd like to find out what else you have in store for us hungry-for-more readers ;-)

Your strongest writing trait is creating a heated atmosphere during love scenes. Your weakest writing trait underdescribing at times.

All in all, I'd say your book is an entertaining, intriguing read. Keep up the good work, and stay healthy.

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Reviewer: BellaFrost1617

Comments: After reading the Naughty Spaceholder I can't help feeling that it's more the Crazy Spaceholder, because the character of Lisa is just too much. I can totally relate with Derek over his involvement with her. It's kind of terrifying to find yourself in a relationship - whether friendship or intimate - with someone who is so clearly unstable, needy, demanding and manipulative and I think the author has done brilliantly to portray this intensity and feeling well. I love the fact that the three main characters are so flawed so fundamentally: Lisa is the crazy unstable older woman who is too clingy, Derek, while he's a nice enough guy, is having women as spaceholders while he waits for the One who is so obviously in front of him, and Cathy who is so busy trying to stay in control in so many ways that she's making excuses instead of outright admitting that she really wants to be with Derek. It adds such a strong sense of realism to the characters and their personalities. 

The writing is great and very well written with strong sentence structure and very few errors. Those errors are a missing or misplaced word which is an easy fix with some read through editing. There are a few that come across like fragments like "A sigh was given." that were a little confusing. That's used a lot and would be stronger as a once in a while thing in a moment of tension. Otherwise adding the character's pronoun or name to the front of these sorts of sentences makes them stronger. And for the most part showing versus telling has been really good with full scenes shown and nothing left out, though there are some moments of exposition, like Cathy recounting how she and Derek became friends, that would be better revealed in dialogue than narrative in the level of detail given. I have to say the very beginning was something completely different. 

I loved the fourth wall breaking at the beginning that introduced the two main characters as if they were players on the stage. Granted, it has no bearing on the larger story and might not be necessary but it's a fun twist on the conventional narrative that I haven't really seen done before. It almost suggests the author is using a form of stage craft to set up the story while keeping the author's note advising readers what they're in for interesting and exciting like the rest of the book. It's a really nice touch. And the banter between characters showcases their connection perfectly. The written tenses are consistent and easy to follow, the trading between chapters per characters works well, the descriptions are vivid and fleshed nicely and the erotic scene in chapter three was a huge surprise but seriously hot. And the story definitely keeps the reader interested. For an aspiring author is a great piece that only gets better.

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Reviewer: LivEvansWrites

Comments: The blurb for The Naughty Spaceholder was intriguing, as was the title. Right away, readers know to expect tension. When I read that it had been marked as complete, I thought I would have the full story going in. It seems, however, that it is unfinished? The pacing of the chapters was good, and they flowed well into each other.

I also thoroughly enjoyed the "Cast Note" at the beginning, what a cute alternative to the Author's Note idea!

Now, as for general feedback... The characters are well written. I cannot say that I am particularly fond of how they mess each other around, but you are consistent with the characterisations and personality in a way that makes them jump off the page quite well.

When it comes to writing, I noticed a lot of passive voice in earlier chapters. I feel like passive voice can be incredibly useful in the right situation, but when it is overused it can lessen the impact for when it really matters.

As for your strongest writing trait, I agree that your sentence structure is pretty on point. I also think your character voices are well developed and consistent. As for your weakest writing trait, you mentioned repetition. I mean, we're all guilty of this, but it is nothing that can't be fixed with a quick edit.

Overall, I was enjoying The Naughty Spaceholder. It was a fun read, the first sex scene was pretty hot, and even though I detest Derek (sorry!) I am curious about how things work out for everyone involved!

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Reviewer: MistyS_96

Comments: This book made me smile at times, roll my eyes like the FMC on the deeds of the MMC, and feel deeper for both of them while continuing reading more and more. Honestly, I tend to get involved in stories at a very personal level, and I like every story, and this one has got into my heart, too. I have enjoyed their stories very much. Derek is a brat, but you'll eventually fall in love with him. The grammar was good, too. I specifically like the description in the first chapter so much. I felt deeply emotional about the way the author described the morning sky and her father. It was a very sweet, nice read.

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Reviewer: SSMarie358

Comments: The book is about Derek and Catrina, who've been friends since Kindergarten. Derek used to pick on Catrina when they were little until someone took it too far. Ever since, Derek and Catrina have been close. They both live together. They aren't exclusive but are friends with benefits. However, I see the characters have more feelings towards each other that they haven't accepted yet.

The chapters I read did fill my expectations. I enjoyed the steamy scenes and the tension between Catrina and Derek.

The plot is reasonably developed. The catalyst was presented in the first chapter, which is excellent. I know exactly what the main problem is. Catrina doesn't like the new girl Derek is messing around with, and it's not the usual type of relationship he has with other women.

I believe the characters might need some additional work. I've been presented some background information about the characters, but adding more through the first 5 chapters can really make the characters more solid. I know they like jogging, live together and have known each other since they had baby teeth. What I'd like to see is what they are doing for a living and what they are studying in school. What are their goals, motives? Do they have any flaws? Insecurities, abandonment issues. Something to explain why they might only be friends with benefits.

You might have added this in a later chapter. Still, I'd like to know how Derek and Catrina started becoming friends with benefits in early chapters. Maybe right after they had sex when Derek came home.

I think the pacing of the chapters is good. There aren't really any random information dumps that get me lost, which is incredible. The only scene that slightly confused me was the first 500 words in the first chapter. This jerk ran into Catrina, and there was this random altercation. I didn't follow that really well. Once I passed that scene, then what was happening made sense. Either I would revise the scene to make it more reader-friendly or omit it. The main point of the chapter is when Derek and her run into the other girl he is sleeping with. A simple edit can defiantly fix it.

I didn't find many descriptions in the story that really showed me what Catrina and Derek look like. Or what the apartment looked like. Maybe even some descriptions about running near a beachside. There doesn't need to be a description dump but think about all the senses. Sight, feelings, taste, hearing. They all come together and can really make a chapter come alive. I have become best friends with the Rural and Urban Thesaurus to help with my settings and descriptions.

I do believe the settings, events, and characters are molding together well. As I have mentioned before, adding more character development, a strong background with Derek and Catrina, and adding some additional descriptions can really brighten the writing and bring more readers towards it. The author strength is describing the main characters internal feelings and an inner battle about how they feel towards each other, which is perfect for tension and dragging the reader in,

I enjoyed the writer's work and would love to read more of what this author had written. Thanks for sharing your story with us!

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