I want to start by saying I think the story has a ton of potential, therefore I want to offer some suggestions that will help polish it up. My suggestion is to rewrite with more dialog into the first few chapters. There is too much narration. You can convey what is in the narration by creating dialog and thus making it more compelling to read. That definitely improves in chapter six. I'm sure you are aware of the need for editing and proofreading. It wasn't so bad that I couldn't read, but it breaks up the flow at times. If you don't have too much experience editing yet, you might be able to find someone willing to help with that on the boards. I think you're really good at descriptions. Your steamy scenes were hot and I like how the story is sex positive. The narrative really picks up when Sir comes into the picture. Keep writing and keep working on your book. You really have something there. I look forward to finishing it. ^_^

~Clarity

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Book Review: Into the Rabbit Hole

First, let me just start by saying that the concept is interesting. When I first started reading I thought it was going to be about another weak girl that lets the world beat her down but instead what I got was someone who was strong and smart and knew how to defend herself. That pleased me greatly.

While the idea of working at a sex club is odd to me, the way that it was written was so tastefully done that I found myself truly engaged in the material.

If I were to give my complete and honest thoughts, I would say work on grammar and spelling. There are words that I assume are meant to be other words but they are not being used in the correct context. This takes me out of the story because I find myself wondering if I am reading it correctly or if you meant to use that choice of word.

If you can resolve that issue I think you will have a true gem on your hands because the idea, the plot, the delivery, and the character development are all top notch. This is a story with a wealth of potential and I am so glad I had an opportunity to read it. Well done.

~Catherine

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The title for this book so fantastically sums it up. Reading through, it is wonderful to see Abbie spiraling into the Rabbit Hole and learning more about herself and her life in the process. It isn't only about sex, even though those scenes are undeniably hot, it is also about her coming out of her shell and discovering who she is in such a sex-positive way.

The first couple of chapters felt like a whirlwind summary. While it was nicely written enough that I wouldn't call it an info dump, it did feel like we were being told a lot in one go. It did set up the drama quite well though. One thing that I did want to mention is that there are several places where the same spelling/grammatical mistakes are repeated. That is nothing that a little editing/extra proofing won't fix. The grammar in the title may warrant a little attention as well- I think (and I will happily be proven wrong here) that it should be "Its Sinful Delights" rather than "It's Sinful Delights". The only other thing that really came to mind is that I would have loved a little something more about safety and consent for Abbie in the club- sure, she is going there to engage in sex work, but that doesn't mean that her uncle or the always-lovely Mel, wouldn't at least brush over. It is good for readers who may not know about the scene to see this as an important part of kink-play/work.

Really though, the story is great. The characters are lively and engaging, and I have to say that the scenes in the club... phwoar! Talk about hot. I think that the way that you do so well describe the sensations that Abbie is feeling. It really highlights the fact that she can only feel and hear, not see. It comes across extremely well, and I am looking forward to seeing where this story takes Abbie. I can only hope that things don't get too much crazier for her! She's had a rough couple of years!

~Liv

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Okay, so I think it has a very cute vibe. Like a mentioned before it reminds of the book The Summer I Turn Pretty. The main character is very goal driven. For me personally, I can connect with the characters because I am also in college and have goals for myself. For people that are in their 18 to 25 would be a great target for your book and also will connect with it.
The description was good and I really like how much mental dialogue you have for your characters. As the reader, you are able to really understand who they are as a person in this world you created. It can make your character very likable or easily disliked. But I am glad you did this in your book.

I like your creative titles for each chapter.
I also liked that you have a dedicated page to warning and copyrights.

~Jay

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Abbie describes herself as a normal girl, but in fact, her work ethic and steadiness, her achievements don't make her so normal. She looks like a bright, dedicated woman. You should give her mom's name in the first chapter (don't wait until chapter 2).

Description of Joss: I was surprised to see Abbie describe her tits and ass — unless it's to make us understand Abbie is lesbian or bi. In general, even in a steamy/erotic story, I'd advise against describing new characters like this unless the scene is erotic. Also, Jess' description is almost a shocking departure from the tone and pace until now. Almost OOC for your MC (same remark for her first meeting with Mel later on).

I like how Abbie gets out of her shell by becoming more social. But the fact she manages to keep her scores perfect nevertheless could deserve a bit more details. Is she gifted? Is it difficult for her to balance both? Any struggle? It feels a bit unrealistic she can't change her lifestyle so completely with no consequence.

In the same line, she connects with Skip at more than a physical level, but it looks like he disappears into thin air. No heartbreak then? Might be good to add a line about it.

The story is moving along nicely but maybe a little too fast. I would like to recommend a bit more dialogues, just like you did it at the end of chapter 2 when everything falls down, then in chapter 3.

Otherwise, the first two chapters are mostly descriptions (good ones!) and feel a bit passive. A full year goes by in the first chapter, we only get to know Joss, and then, even barely. With a 1st POV story, dialogues are the best way to show other characters' thoughts and personalities. Otherwise, we're a bit stuck with your MC's. Try to add those, especially for important scenes, like when Joss tells Abbie she doesn't want to see Mandy anymore.

I found interesting to see Abbie first lie to Joss about Mandy, then to Mandy about Trevor... it's not a nice personality trait but it gives depth to the character. But I was glad to see her and Joss reconnect later on and get more Joss-Abbie friendship time. Tess sounds great, too!

Uncle Joe... hmm, I like the steps up to help his niece, but I'd die if my uncle offered me *this* kind of job, lol! Very nice description of this gentleman. I hope he doesn't turn out to be a bad guy.

Mature scenes in the club: you did a great job! A perfect mix of sensations and super graphic descriptions. Congrats! And I like how you frame Abbi's journey in the context of her journey into self-discovery. It's not something for everyone, but I applaud you for not slut-shaming her.

Grammar: look out for switched verb tenses. You're writing in past tense, so unless you're in dialogue or internal monologue, they all should be in the past. For the readers, it's a bit confusing and given the good quality of your story, it's too bad.

**I am very late with my review, so it will cover only 8 chapters, but I will read on!

~Lila

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I'm not a big fan of narrative stories like this one. I would have liked more dialogue. I just didn't feel as connected to the characters. The plot didn't really pull me in either, but that might be due to the writing style and the topic as such. It was a nice twist at the beginning, but it did seem like such a strange idea that an uncle would hire his niece to work in a club like that, and without talking about the details. I had a hard time understanding the descriptions of the scenes, but probably mostly due to the fact that I'm not really familiar with that topic. I stopped reading after chapter 10. I might finish it at some point just to see how Abbie's journey continues. I'm sure there's an audience out there that will greatly enjoy this book. It's just not something that I would usually read.

The grammar needs work, there were some switches between tenses and spelling mistakes. It didn't take away too much of the flow, but it was noticeable.

~Lilly

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Into the Rabbit Hole & All It's Sinful Delights Review:

First thing this book is... wow. I was surprised by how erotic and different this book was from any other book I have ever read. When I read the summary I did not expect the story to go where it did, but I enjoyed the story. The detailed plot and scenes are one of my favorite things about this writer's work. And I was constantly reading because I was so curious about the club and what was going to Abbie every night. I hadn't expected the night club to be that kind of night club, but I enjoyed it because it was definitely not a cliche story. It can be hard to find a new and original story, but this one was a pleasant surprise. I'm interested to see if this writer will have any more work.

~babygurl98

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read the first six chapters or so and I like the style in which you write in an Abbie seems like a likable character. I really could not help feeling sorry for her what with being framed for plagiarism and being unable to work in the city at all. I really don't want to comment on the sex scenes since BDSM weirds me out, so I will leave that to the others to comment on. The writing itself was fairly good I felt, though there were a couple spelling and grammar errors every now and then. Overall, pretty good job.

~Medula

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The synopsis was clear on what the book would be about so I felt like it met my expectations of what to expect. Overall it was a fun book to read, I loved her discovering herself and the journey it took her on.

The story for me was a little slow at the start, it gave a lot of background and circumstance to get the main character where she needed to be, but as I reached chapter (3 or 5, can't remember) I was hooked to see what Master D would be trying next.

The characters seem believable and real as I think her struggle is something a lot of girls face in regards to their sexuality and what society used to say and in some cases still does say is appropriate for women to display.

The chapters were placed well and moved at a pace I liked. I didn't feel like things were out of sequence or caused me any confusion. The chapters were a great length so I could finish them and feel like I was moving at a good pace through the storyline, I am not a fan of long drawn out chapters, I feel buried in them and tend to stop reading after a few of them.

I feel the author is good on descriptive and writing a plot that can pull you in and have you come back for more. Grammar needs a bit of work but the author explained that it was being redone and edited so I am sure she is looking after it as she goes. I look forward to reading what happens next.

~CC

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First impressions are that the title is very long I would find it hard to remember, also the cover could be a bit more exciting, I don't really see what stairs have to do with a rabbit hole.

The description is good, I feel it just needs a little more explanation at the end, something like, she has one of two choices, give up in her dreams and return home or accept a mysterious proposition from an uncle she barely knows?
Then add in will Abbie sink or swim.....

Ok so the book is awesome, the descriptions are great and dialog is spot on. I love Abbie already and just wished she'd listened to Joss but then she wouldn't need the job at her uncle's sex club. I like what I have read so far and have added the book to my faves list so I can read the rest later once I have caught up on everything else. Really looking forward to seeing how Abbie does at the club and I have a sneaky suspicion that Trevor and his dad will be at the club at some point.

Great book xoxo

~ Leanne

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This book was so much fun to read and explore!!! I thought the author did a wonderful job of describing the feelings the MC had as well as the actions she performed. The way the book pulls you in to want to know more and more about what will happen next was compelling to me.
I love the way she was able to portray the difference in knowing who the man was without being able to see him...by his touch, or his voice, or even just the things he did to her. It kept me wanting to learn more about this lifestyle as well as kept me entertained!!!
Aside from a few grammar errors, I felt the story flowed quite nicely!!! I left some inline comments on the story itself for the author... bravo my dear, I loved your story!!!

Great Job!
~Nikki Kyss