"I'm really proud of you!" Clara nearly shouts as we sit in the back of yet another Uber. She wraps her arms around me and pulls me into a big bear hug as she squeezes all of the air out of me.

"Why?" I managed to gasp out as we drew closer to the carnival. My nerves were acting up, my body relaxed from sitting at the pool all day basking in the sun with my best friend.

"Cause you got yourself a hot date, but even better you managed to get me one as well!" She was very clearly excited about meeting up with Carter and his friend whose name seemed to be slipping my mind right now. I knew Clara didn't want anything serious with this guy, but she was always down for a great date night as long as it ended in lots of kisses and the guy was attractive. I hope to god Carter actually found someone decent.

"Honestly, it doesn't matter if he is cute, I'm here for moral support for my best friend," She mumbled more like she was talking to herself than she was to me as she turned to look out the window. Palm trees were passing us by as the crowd seemed to get thicker and thicker. They all seemed to be dressed like they were going to the world's biggest festival. I shuddered looking down at my plain shorts and the tee shirt I had worn.

I wasn't getting dressed to impress anyone. I felt like tonight was just going to be an awkward attempt for Carter and I to rekindle our friendship and maybe our romantic relationship. I was nervous for what was going to happen.

"You said he had a surprise for you right?" I nodded my head waiting for her to squeal yet again about how romantic and exciting this was.

Except I wasn't in the mood for romantic and exciting, I was in the mood for honest and real. Happiness that you can't get by forcing it. I hated how I was feeling and how this trip had gone and I was ready for that to be over.

"We are here," The young man driving us popped into the conversation to tell us as he pulled to the curb.

We eagerly jump out of the car...more like Clara eagerly dragged me out of the car and onto the sidewalk filled with people. Girls wearing hardly any clothes as boys lapped up whatever sappy story they were telling. The made their way through the crowd as if there wasn't a care in the world.

Tonight I was going to do the same...kind of.

Carter rushed up to us as soon as he saw us, his arm waving above his head to get our attention. I swallowed the lump in my throat, as my nerves begin to bubble up once again. I wanted to throw up. I turned away from him facing the street in case I did.

He grabbed me from behind turning me to look at him as he wrapped his arms around me. Whispering into my ear as he held me close to his body.

"I'm so glad you made it, I've been so excited to see you all day," He muttered as he continued to hold me. Clara sat awkwardly watching and I could tell she was getting restless about meeting her blind date. She tapped Carter on the shoulder lightly as she waits for him to respond to her.

"Hey, where is my man?" She finally interjected as Carter pulls away from me. His hand still placed on my back as if I was going to run away. He was smart because I was thinking about it.

Honestly, the hug had been just what I needed and I cursed myself for mentally improving because of it. I just wanted the support I felt when I was around Carter but I needed something permanent, not just for the week I was in California.

"He is coming, he was grabbing all of our tickets while I waited for you two," Carter looks at me a wide smile beaming across his face as he does so. "You look beautiful," His smile only grew and I had to be honest that there was one growing on my face as well.

It was quickly wiped away as another gentleman entered the group.

"Hey are these the girls?" He questions looked between the two of us before his eyes stopped on Clara. "Carter, you didn't tell me she was going to be this pretty..." He fumbled over his thoughts as he placed his hand out to shake hers.

"I'm David," He managed to get out as he pretends like he was going to pass out. I rolled my eyes looking up at Carter.

"He is a weirdo," I teased before David handed all of us our tickets to get into the fair. This felt weird, it didn't feel real. I was floating on cloud nine and I wasn't sure if it was because this was the first good thing that had happened to me this entire vacation or if it was the people I was with. I watched carefully as Clara and David continued to converse. Clara was throwing her head back as she laughed, her brown girls fumbling across her back in a fit of waves.

Carter and I didn't talk at first. We took in all the sights as we watched other couple holding hands and hugging, kissing in front of the Ferris wheel for a pretty picture. The lights were distracting the food was tempting and as of this moment the company was nice.

Carter reached over his hand interlacing with mine. My immediate reaction was the pull away but for some reason my body didn't seem to follow this thought. Carter and I were holding hands and I seemed to like it. He looked at me and smiled as we continue to walk through the crowds.

"Do you guys want to go on this ride?" Clara turns to laugh as David and her continue to embrace each other as they walk. They both pointed in different direction towards different rides.

"Okay you were right, they were perfect for each other," I teased looking up at Carter. He nodded his head before letting out a sigh.

"Just like us for each other," He mumbled under his breath so quietly I had nearly missed it...but I didn't.

The words were loud and clear in my ears and my heart thuds with both confusion and excitement all at once.

Carter and I could be perfect for each other. We would just need to figure some things out first. I wanted to know he was always going to be there for me. He was going to support me and help me if we ever had kids. Would he support my work owning the bridal shop or would he ever try to get me to sell it?

What work would Carter do in New York? The last four years of his life has been here, in California. I glanced around at all the lights, the rides, the smiling faces in the crowd of people. I couldn't pull Carter away from this.

"We used to never come to these in New York," Carter teased as he pulled me close to him. I nodded my head. I couldn't think of a single fair that had happened in New York that we had gone to. The water crashing against the shore in the background as we continue walking down the boardwalk.

"Do you guys want to get some kettle corn?" Clara turns to look at us as she drags poor David over to a stand to buy a bag. Carter and I chuckle following behind.

"I won't even ask," He teases. I smiled up at him slightly confused by his comment.

"Why?" I question. I knew the answer but I wanted to see if he had.

"Because of that time in the sixth grade when they brought kettle corn to class and you got it stuck in your tooth and left the room crying. You were so embarrassed you vowed to never eat it again," He nudged me as Clara and David stand in line.

"Why do you remember that?" I chuckled the memories bringing back the same emotions of embarrassment. He shrugs quickly before kicking at the ground.

"That was when I fell in love with you," He muttered. My heart dropped. How could he say something like that.

"No, that was the day we became friends," I teased trying to bringing the conversation back to neutral ground. I didn't want him thinking he could just say whatever he wanted and I would fall for it. I was trying to keep my head on straight, at least for as long as I could.

"Exactly," He said matter-of-factly as Clara comes hopping back towards us. Her hair bouncing around her shoulders, her smile wider than the ocean as she holds the blue cotton candy in one hand and the kettle corn in the other.

"Will you take a picture of us?" Clara asks David as she hands him her phone grabbing me by the arm and placing us in front of the Ferris wheel. I complained as she pulled me towards an open spot in the crowds. David counted down from three as the both of us pose for our picture.

After the flash nearly blind us Clara hops back over to get her phone. She was like a child caught up in a candy store with an unlimited budget for sweets.

"I've never been to one of these before, this is so unique,"

"Unique?" David shot Clara a look like she was the worlds dumbest blonde.

"Yeah, how many of these have you been too?" Clara placed her hands on her hips like she was about to prove him wrong. What he said next made me laugh so hard I nearly chocked.

"Twice a year since I was born," David responds as he too places his hands on his hips mocking her position. Carter and I start laughing as we watch the two stick their tongue out at each other.

"Okay this makes it worth coming," I looked up at Carter yet again catching myself staring into his bright blue eyes. He chuckles, nodding his head in response.

We continued around the fair for a couple more hours riding as many rides as we could afford. Stopping to get some food before we continued with our journey. Carter and I usually stuck pretty close together throwing jabs and jokes at each other whenever possible. Clara and David seemed to be getting along really well, even sharing a few kisses here and there. Eventually we had separated, Carter and I had stayed to ride the bumper cars while Clara and David had gone off to ride the Ferris wheel.

I hadn't minded being alone with Carter. It was nice to be able to hang out as friends and not have to talk about stuff like we did last night at dinner. I could feel us growing closer again as we talked about old memories.

Like when Carter and I went bridge jumping with a couple of friends in the middle of the night and he lost his underwear in the water, he complained about wearing his pants without underwear for the next three hours before we finally took him home.

All the memories has started bringing back feelings from when we were children, living next door to each other. I remember crying when he moved away, his parents moving into a house that was down the street from ours instead of the one next door. I remember when I was finally old enough to walk to his house all by myself, since my father had taken the journey with me almost every day after Carter had moved.

I shook my head trying my best to not focus on all of those times. This was now and I couldn't get those back. Even if I felt those feelings for just a moment. A night even, they would never last, and I knew that.

"I'm so glad you came today," Carter filled the silence with his words as he looked down at the sidewalk below us. We had found a nice spot on the bench looking up at the Ferris wheel. We had opted out of going on it due to how long it would take to get back down, Clara and David probably didn't want to wait that long. I nodded my head not feeling the need to answer. I knew I probably should have but there was nothing to say. Carter reached over placing his hand on mine.

"I love you," He whispers as he turns to look at me, his hand reaches up towards my face as he turns it to look into his. His eyes seemed like they were welled over with tears as he stares at me.

"What?" I muttered like an idiot as I tried to comprehend what he had just told me. He nods his head holding my face in place so I couldn't look away.

"I love you, I always have, since the day I met you and til the day I die. I need you to know that. I want to spend the rest of my life with me and I know I've messed that up and I need to take some time to show you that I really do want to be with you. I'm doing my best and I'm going to make it my main goal from here on out, I want you to know there is no one other than you and I don't care if you say no, I will never love anyone as much as you so I will never look at anyone in that way. It's just you from here on out," Carter shook his head as he spoke. He leaned forward holding his head in his hands. I panicked. If I didn't know what to say earlier I really didn't know what to say now. I placed my hand on his back showing him that I was there for him while I tried to think of anything I could say.

"I will always love you too," I whispered back. The tears were welling up in my eyes and I refused to let them fall. Sniffling slightly I let out a couch fighting back the tears the best I could. There was no reason to cry. I couldn't allow myself to do that anymore on this trip.

"You do," Carter's eyes lit up with happiness as soon as the words had left my mouth. I gets down on his knees as he tries to look at my face. I pull my head away from his. People probably thought we looked weird. I watched as a cute couple slowly walks by, the girl staring down at the engagement ring on her finger. They probably just got engaged.

"Yes, but that doesn't mean we can be together," I muttered. The words hurt as I said them. It felt like I had done nothing but hurt the men I care about. If Only my father was here to show me the way.

"Why?" Carter was trying to figure this out as well. The gears in his mind twisting as fast as they could without snapping. I didn't want to hurt anyone else so I panicked.

"At least not right now," I muttered. I regretted the words as soon as I had said them. I wanted nothing more than to be happy with Carter but I just couldn't allow him to leave and hurt me, and I knew that's what he would do. He had stuff to do around here.

He was working on getting his medical degree. There was nothing I could do to stop him from that and I didn't want to stop him from making something out of himself. He needed to think about his future.

"What about us?" He questions as he looks at me like I had told him his mother had just passed away. I shook my head.

"We aren't ready..." I was trying my best to make it as easy for him to understand. I needed him to stick around and wait for me to be ready for him. He needed to understand that right now I knew I couldn't trust him to just up and leave. He was always a free spirit trying to run with the wind for whatever he needed in life. Whether it was love, his job, money, whatever it was Carter would go for it. I loved that about him, but I wasn't the same. I wouldn't be able to keep up with that and he deserved someone who could. Someone better than Kylie... someone better than me.

"Yes we are, I've never been more ready," Carter took his seat on the bench next to me again as he brushed his knees off. Clara and David were just barely getting off the Ferris wheel and it was soon going to be time for us to head home and pack.

"I'm not leaving you, I'm here to prove that this time. I've told you how I feel and that won't change. I need you in my life so good luck getting rid of me this time," Carter muttered as Clara and David make their way through the crowd of people back to us.

Clara and David held hands and I wasn't sure they were paying too much attention to us but I figured it was going to be my only moment and If I didn't take the chance now I wasn't going to get to. I leaned forward looking at Carter. He stares back at me dumbfounded by his thoughts. My palms were growing sweaty as I thought about how badly I had wanted to be with Carter. This was something I'd wanted my entire life but was always too scared.

I leaned forward closing the distance between us as I kissed him. His lips forming perfectly with mine as he inhaled deeply pulling me further into the kiss.