“Clara, it’s almost time!” I squeal as we stand in the now empty shop. Later tonight we would be heading to the airport, to go on our week long trip to California.

    “T-minus six hours!” Clara shouts as she looks at the clock on her phone. It was six p.m. and our flight left a little after midnight. I hugged her before grabbing my things.

    “I need to get home so I can finish packing, I’ve been having a hard time picking what swimsuits I want to take,” I smiled, running my hands down my body pretending to be sexy. “I will meet you at the airport at half past nine so we can get through security and get to our flight on time,” I smiled giving her a hug.

    “I’m so excited, and so glad you decided to still go. I can tell you and Andrew have been having problems and we need to get away from all of that,” Clara knew me to well and I didn’t want to let her know that she did. I felt it was better to just brush past her comment about Andrew and I’s issues, because she was correct. Everything seemed like it was a fight lately and I was so fed up with it that I just needed a break to get away.

    “Okay, see you later,” I quickly rush out of the shop wanting to avoid anymore awkward confrontation about the problems Andrew and I have been having. I wasn’t even sure he was going to be happy with me when I got home. The last week he has been buying me things, trying to plan things, anything he could to convince me to stay home with him instead of flying to California. Nothing was going to work. The only way we could fix our problems is to spend some time away from each other.

    I trudge through the busy sidewalk of New York, slightly annoyed that there was never a time you would go outside and not see a million people scattered in every free spot. There was no room to breathe or do anything other than just mold into the crowd and move at their rate of speed. I pushed through trying to get to the road so I could hail a cab. I was nearly trampled multiple times before I finally broke free from the crowd. My hand held high in the air as a cab races over to the side of the road. I jump in handing him the address to Andrews and I’s new home.

    Everytime I seemed to reach these steps my body stopped. My eyes wondering all over the house as I take in the exterior. It was almost as pretty as the inside but it was just so over the top. It felt weird walking up the front steps to the door. Why did there have to be so many? What if my mother got so old that she had to be in a wheelchair, would she ever be able to come visit us at our home? My heart aches as I walk up the stairs, but my body was excited to go on the trip. To get away from this mansion. I was ready to sleep in a tiki themed hotel, with unlimited drinks and sticking my toes in the sand. There was nothing that sounded better to me in this very moment.

    Jimmy welcomed me as I enter the house. Heading up the stairs I was finally started to figure out my way around this place. At least I knew the most important places. I knew where our bedroom was, the kitchen and dining room was, and how to get out the front door. Soon I would have to figure out how to get to the pool out back. Clara and I would be able to spend loads of time out there this summer, enjoying the water without having to listen to annoying kids.

    I scurry up the stairs to my bedroom as I try to push myself up the stairs faster than ever. I felt like a kid on Christmas morning rushing to get to my presents. Like the world wasn’t moving fast enough and I just needed to be in California in the next five minutes.

    I felt relieved once I was able to pull the suitcase off of the table I had left it on before I left this morning. Quickly throwing it on the bed I begin to work on filling it with all my favorite beach attire. I hummed a little tune to myself as I continue to throw clothes into the bag. I wasn't worried about how organized it was. I was just ready to get there. My  body was shaking with excitement as I put my fifth bikini into the bag. Clara was going to tease me with the amount I had brought but I didn’t care.

    I closed my eyes for a moment imagining the water crashing over my skin. I could already imagine the tan I was going to get as I sit in a chair, my fancy white sun hat covering my face as the sun kisses my legs. Clara would be next to me and we would secretly watch a few hot guys play a game of volleyball. I’m sure we would make our own voices for them, giving them their own personalities as we commentate the game. I could almost taste it now. I could feel the sand kissing my skin, the salt in my hair. I was excited. More excited than I’ve been in a long long time.

    The door opening was loud enough the wake me out of my daydream. I threw the last few items into my  bag before heading over to grab my makeup bag. Stopping to look at Andrew I smiled, trying to get him to match my expression. He wasn’t having any of it. I watched carefully as he stands awkwardly for a few more minutes. I wondered what he was thinking.

    “You okay sweetheart?” I ask him, watching as he shakes his head.

    “Erin, are you really going?” Andrew stands in this doorway, his head hung low as he tries not to make eye contact with me. I zip up the overfilled suitcase before turning to look at him. I tried to close the distance between him and I as I watched his face fall away. Why was he so angry with me for going on this trip.

    “Andrew, of course I am,” I whisper placing my hand on his cheek turning his gaze forcing him to look me in the eye. He didn’t get the chance to ignore me now, he wasn't going to alter his attention to somewhere he would rather have it. This was all about me and him.

    “Why though? You don’t have to leave, you can just stay here with me, let’s have our own vacation,” He begged. His eyes glossing over as he stares at me. He tucks a strand of blonde hair behind my ear as he stares at me.

    “I have to go,” I could tell my words were hurting him and this made me feel even worse about the whole situation.  I needed the time away from him. There was nothing we were doing here that was healthy. I’ve felt like he has gotten quite controlling and that all needed to change. He needed a break away from me to realize what he had. I carefully tried to think through my next words. I wanted to find something that would hurt him. Something that he would understand. I needed him to know that he was my love and I wanted to marry him, I just needed him to see how he has been treating me the last few weeks.

    “No you don’t Erin, I promise you and I can have more fun here than you ever would in California with Clara,” He whispers, and I could see just how much this was really affecting him. He seemed weak.  I shook my head though. It didn’t work like that. He needed to understand where I was coming from.

    “Andrew, you have to know that this isn’t for me. You need the time away from me just as much as I need it away from you,” I pulled him close to me leading him over to the window. He needed to sit down. I didn’t want to have this conversation any longer in the doorway of our bedroom. He plops down in the lazy boy as I grab him a glass of water out of the bathroom. He stares at it as if it was the most disgusting thing before gingerly taking a sip of the liquid. He mumbles a thank you bowing his head to stare at his legs.

    “Why do I need the time away from you? I want nothing more than to be with you,” He mutters under his breath.

    I scoff.

    “Then why don’t you show it, huh? I’ve been wandering around this house for over a month wondering what I was doing wrong. You’ve been so focused on work that I’ve barely seen you in the last month. Since we got engaged you’ve changed, you don’t treat me the same way, you don’t care about me the same way. I realize why we never  spent so much time at your house before and honestly I don’t think we would have made it this far if we had.” The words felt harsh as they escaped my brain and entered his. I could see him tense up as the last sentence echoes through his heart.

    “Why wouldn’t we have made it, we are supposed to make it through everything,” He practically growls as he leans forward in his seat. I agreed we were supposed to make it through anything. He was correct on that one thing. But that doesn’t mean I was going to sit here and just let him treat me like crap.

    “Andrew, this is not the lifestyle I want. I HATE that you can’t make your own food, what happened to all the cooking we did in my apartment? Or the fact that you don’t drive anywhere? What happened to all our long car rides where we held hands as you drove us around town? We would sit in traffic laughing for hours and it seems like I can’t talk to you like that anymore. You are always so business focused and it sucks. I miss you, I  miss the real you that I thought I knew before we got engaged,” I could feel myself heating up as we spoke. I walk across the room to grab my suitcase off the bed pushing it over by the door.

    “So let’s spend the week fixing all those problems, let me work on things, don’t just leave me here alone,” He pleads as he leans on the edge of the chair. Yet he never stood up to chase me. He never left the seat just watched as I continued to prepare for my trip. I glance at the large clock on the wall. I needed to get heading out soon.

    “Andrew I have to go, we will have a lifetime to figure out our issues, but I haven’t been on a vacation with my best friend in years and I need one,” I begged him to just listen to me. I wanted him to understand what I was asking. I wasn’t ending things, I wasn’t trying to cut him out. I just needed time.

    “No,” He mutters finally jumping from the chair, lunging across the room he grabbed my arm gripping it tighter than I was okay with.

    “That hurts,” I whine as I look him in the eyes. He doesn’t blink, his gaze so focused on mine that he couldn't’t pull away. I watch in fear as I try to pull my arm out of his grip once again. He tightens it around my arm before pulling me closer to him.

    “If you walk out that door and leave, you will not be coming back, we will be done. You are giving up on us and I will not put up with it, how can you look at me like you love me when you are so willing to walk out on me? If you leave this house tonight, that will be the end of us, the engagement is off and you will have to move out,” My eyes dance back and forth as I look between his looking for any sign of life. I could feel the tears rolling down my face as he spoke. There was no reason for him to be this rude. Finally his grip softens on my arm and I pull away.

    “Andrew…” I whimper, “Don’t do that to me,” He shakes his head at my response.

    “Your choice, but if you are going to make your flight you need to leave now,”

    “It doesn’t have to be this way, I love you,” I find myself crying harder than I could have ever imagined. I wanted to get away from him but I didn’t want to lose him. I wander into the hallway pulling my suitcase behind me.

    “I love you too, but you need to figure out what you are doing, are you going on the trip or are you marrying me?” He shrugs his shoulder all the emotion leaving his body. I wanted to scream. I didn’t know what to do.

    “I already bought the tickets, Clara will be waiting for me…” I froze. Trying to come up with anything that would make him realize he was being insane.

    “I have all the money I could ever need, that doesn’t matter and neither does Clara,” His words shot through me like a knife entering my heart. There was no way I was sticking around for a man who didn’t understand how important my best friend was to me. I turned on my heel grabbing my suitcase as I began to stroll towards the stairs.

    “We will discuss this when I get back,” I mumble leaving the door open for a chance. A chance for Andrew to see how awful he has become.

    “No,” He mutters. I place my hand in the air throwing him the birdy finger as I walk down the stairs.

    “Fine I will be back to get my stuff. I trust that you will respect me enough to leave it all alone. I will have my mother come over here and get to work on packing it for you if she must,” I can feel my voice quake under the pressure of the conversation.

    “Whatever works,” Andrew turns to walk the other way down the hallway, his shoes thumping on the floor as he walks away. Walking away from us, from everything we could be. I turn and head down the stairs. I needed to get out of here, there was no oxygen left in this room. I needed to get outside, to get in the car and get to the airport. I wanted to be with my friend. I wanted to be on the beach, without a care in the world. I wanted to know that when I came home I would be coming home to my love, but apparently that wasn’t the case anymore.

    Once my bag was loaded in the car and I had jumped in the back seat my tears erupted into a storm. Falling down my cheek as the driver pulls away. I watch the building, my heart craving for Andrew to come running out the front door. I wanted him to apologize and tell me he was out of his mind and he didn’t mean anything he had said. I wanted him to understand the pain he was causing me.

    But as the driver left the driveway I realized Andrew wasn’t coming. He wasn't rushing to stop me. He was okay. He was going to be okay, and he was going to move on and barely even remember our time together. He hadn’t given up anything to be with me. Did he even lose anything by losing me?

    The drive felt shorter than it actually was. My tears were the only thing that kept me company in the back seat. I didn’t want Clara to know I had been crying through. I did my best to wipe away the tears. Tapping at my cheeks to bring the color back to them. They were red and blotchy, my mascara smeared under my eyes. I needed a bathroom to fix myself up. I did the best I could in the handheld mirror in my makeup bag. It wasn’t enough though. I grabbed a makeup wipe out of my bag. I wouldn’t really need makeup. I quickly swiped it across my face trying to take off every last spec of makeup.

    My face looked liked better since the red spots had faded, the colors coming back. My eyes were fresh but I looked tired and overly stressed. I stare at my forehead, a small pimple had been forming for the last couple of days and it seemed worse now that I was so focused on it. I shook my head, I had bigger things to worry about besides a pimple that was chilling on my forehead.

    I get out of the car as soon as he stops grabbing my bag and heading into the airport. I pull my hair up into a messy bun before rushing through the crowd searching for the girl I knew all too well. I knew she was going to look perfect, her makeup done as if she had just rolled out of bed and looked flawless and I was willing to bet her hair fell around her shoulders in the perfect waves she had mastered.

    When I spot her I began to run, dragging my suitcase behind me as the wheels squeal against the floor. I needed my best friend. When I got to her I wrapped my arms around her pulling her into a huge hug.

    I needed her more than she realized I did.