Wren of West

The tall posts of the bed duplicated and floated away from one another. A heaviness crept in, weighing down my head and body. My eyelids dropped, pouring down a curtain of darkness into the fuzzy picture. A strip of faces reeled by, the same faces over and over. I knew those faces all too well, all sixty-three of them. The faces belonged to those who had shaped me over the years. Those faces belonged to the demons I carried within me. They always stirred an anger within me, a fury I could only describe as absolute hatred in its most untainted, pristine form. Yet, instead of tormenting me, they were attached to a long queue, waiting to receive judgment inflicted by my hands.

With a deep gasp I opened my eyes and leaped out of bed. My hands flung to my arms, my waist and chest. Through gritted teeth I sucked in deep breaths. It had been a month since my execution but I could still see the flames, smell them, feel them. My fingernails dug into my skin as I remembered the fire burning through my flesh.

Ironically, it was those same flames which had saved me from true death.

When I awoke in my bed, a group of three had been hovering above me. Farren and Frank, and Clyde. They had told me that burning alive was the only way a demon could be awakened. It was Clyde who had performed the ritual, who had seized the one opportunity to save me from death. The residents who already hated us hated us now even more, and those who used to support us had gained a fresh hatred for us. But they couldn't kill me, or the others, for once a watcher was awakened it was too late to kill them. It would disrupt the balance of nature. Clyde had asked me how I felt, and I had told him I was okay.

That was a lie.

Only to myself I dared to admit that something was deeply wrong with me. The thick thirst for vengeance wouldn't leave my thoughts. Oh, those faces in my head, and the faces of those cheering in the arena, every moment of the day I craved to put my hands around their throats and pressure all my strength there, and watch their faces turn purple as the life seeped out of them, laugh at their flailing arms as they desperately tried to grab for air. Sometimes all those awful thoughts froze for a little while, but they always returned. Every day I was afraid of me, sickened by the monster I'd become. If anything, I was definitely not okay.

I stared at the space between the two beds. An image of Eliza covered in blood flashed by. I shut my eyes and inhaled the cold air deeply. The clean white sheets were replaced by a quick image of blood covered sheets. My guts twisted. I swallowed the sour and burning in my throat, twice, but it kept coming back. I ran into the bathroom and bent over the toilet. Footsteps approached me from behind and fingers grabbed my hair. I turned around. Elora gave me a painful smile as she held onto my hair. Another wave, I bent my head into the toilet again. After four more waves of vomit, Elora flushed the toilet and I fell on the tiles. She kneeled in front of me and I tried not to look her in the eyes, but my eyes slid to hers anyway. Gritting my teeth and balling my hands, I tried not to give in, but eventually could not hold myself and began to cry.

Elora gently pressed my face against her chest. "It's okay."

For a long time, she let me cry and didn't say a word as she caressed my hair. When I calmed down I was embarrassed that she'd seen me cry. Afraid to look Elora in the eyes, I rose up and quickly turned to the sink. Sniffing and shaking, I rinsed my face with cold water.

Elora handed me a clean towel. "You should know that I understand what you're going through. My mom committed suicide. I was the one who found her body."

"I'm sorry."

"She lay in the bathtub. The water inside the tub was red. Her blood seeped out from the cut inside her wrist, dripping onto the white tiles." Elora looked at the floor with a sad and faraway look in her eyes. "There was blood everywhere. And I tried to clean it. I scrubbed every single day. Blisters appeared on my hands and yet I could not stop scrubbing. It just wouldn't get clean, so I kept going, scrubbing the same spots over and over." Elora shook her head. "But you can't clean death. It will never get clean. No matter how hard you scrub, the blood will always be there." When she looked up, the sad look on her face instantly turned into a happy one. Taking deep breaths, Elora began to stroke the skirt of her bright pink dress. Blinking her tears away, Elora managed a giggle. "Oh, look at that, my dress is all wrinkled. Wren, you should get ready for the Spring Fest. I'll do your hair, if you want."

Yellow and orange flames loomed over the trees. Tall as the pyre was, its flames did not touch the trees and nor did they touch us, instead the pending fire stayed narrow and contained. Its flames were alive, in some way, and Spyro was controlling it. I imagined, if this fire could see, we must have looked like ants to it. Despite being burned alive I did not fear fire. I glanced next to me, and Clyde returned my look with a smile. Embraced by the heat, I took a deep sniff and realized how much I loved the smell of burning wood. Norfos. I had never been to the northern part of town before. The woods grew closer here than they did in Ethes, so close you couldn't see past them, but where we stood was an open area, as if the trees had moved aside.

Speechless, I gazed at their tousled locks in soft shades of cotton candy, mint, blue, lilac, peach, some of them had hair in a combination of all those colors, decorated with flowers and leaves. Their naked bodies were in a coat of green and sparkling gold. The nymphs danced around the pyre on the rhythm of the drums hit by men who wore a black masks with feathers. There were flutes, too, releasing a beautiful symphony which was neither too slow nor too fast. As the nymphs went, they twirled and leaped and hit their palms against their knees. More people joined them, most of them with painted and glitter sprinkled faces. According to Niobe, the dance was to give back some of the magic they had gained from Mother Nature and to sacrifice their energy to show their gratitude, to tell Mother Nature they were aware of what she was doing for them and that they were grateful. I had learned that magic never came free, and when taken for granted it wouldn't come at all, so the nymphs would show their appreciation every season.

After a while the drumming slowed down and so did the nymphs, as if their bodies were being stimulated by the rhythm. Gently, both the drumming and the dance came to an end. The fire, once seeming to be grabbing stars and at least fifteen times the size of me, shrunk until it was no bigger than an ordinary bonfire. The nymphs, still surrounding the fire, raised their hands in the air and clapped once and a circle of golden sparks appeared. In the silence that followed, everyone folded their hands together and closed their eyes. Then, the drums and the flutes began once more. The people cheered and continued their dance around the fire.

"Do you enjoy watching the nymphs?" I asked Clyde.

"Don't you?"

Turning my eyes back to the nymphs, I couldn't deny I did not. I appreciated the female body. A woman's beautiful curving waist, soft breasts, elegant legs and short, flawless bellies. If it came to beauty, women were far ahead of men. Still, the harsh rawness of men, their bodies so opposite of mine, contained a whole different voltage. "Maybe I do," I admitted.

Clyde offered his elbow where I linked mine through, then led me through the crowd. "I enjoy watching you, as well."

We strolled down the side of the road. It was the only road in Chrim, starting from the toll booths and leading around Downtown and back to the toll booths. One could never get lost in Chrim, for the road just went around Downtown in a circle and passed every part of town. The signs standing at the side of the road had been plastered with ANTI posters, a horned creature in the midst of flames and two white lines crossing it. Ever since our demonic awakening the town had grown more restless. Even the humans, who rarely mingled with supernatural affairs, had begun to object.

We came to a halt near the gates of the Reverie. Clyde bent his face closer to mine until our noses nearly touched. Imagining the hairs on his cheeks touching my cheeks, I knew they'd feel itchy. This was our sixth date and so far he still hadn't made any moves to kiss me. But, God, was I ready for that kiss to come. I had even practiced after a thorough research on the internet on how kissing was done properly. The trick was to move your tongue slowly instead of in fast circles like a hyperactive tornado. In my room I had stuck out my tongue and twirled it in the air while following every instruction. Sure, I had looked like an idiot, but it was still better than Clyde being disgusted by my slippery, hyperactive tongue.

My first kiss, however, was not today. "Are you sure you're all right?" he asked, for the thousandth time.

If I told you I wasn't disappointed right then, I'd be lying. Just kiss me, asshole. I scraped my throat and nodded. "I'm fine." He laid his hand on my cheek and inspected my face thoroughly, as if searching for scratches. I pushed his hand away. "I said I'm fine. I'm alive, that's all I can ask for. I've gotten a second chance."

"A second chance for what?"

"When I was up there, in the arena, I realized I would die without leaving a legacy. That I'd die without leaving a good memory. Some people die heroes, others die mothers and fathers, others die achieving something else. I, however, have no legacy to leave behind. And that's pathetic. I've gotten a second chance to create a legacy, to have people talking about me in good ways once I'm dead."

"The only thing pathetic about you is your concern for what people will think of you even in your death," he said with a look so cold it made me tremble. My brows creased into a deep frown. Clyde stretched his hand and gently stroked my cheek. "I'm sorry, didn't mean it like that. After all these years I still have to learn a great deal about being nice and sensitive."

"Don't apologize," I said, and laid my own hand over his warm one placed on my cheek. "You're right. And trust me, being truthful is more important than being nice and sensitive."

Ever since my awakening, Clyde and I had met almost every day. He'd teach me the colors, what they meant, never getting angry when I kept forgetting them. He had taught me how to control them, grabbing the sin with an invisible hand and squeezing it until all of it oozed into the victim's subconscious. Every day, he was more than willing to help me hours in a row. And every day, I found myself more and more drawn to him with my heart beating faster and my eyes constantly looking for his presence. Perhaps my being drawn to him was only because he was the only male being who gave me the attention the lonely girl within me so desperately sought, or maybe this really was the beginning of something beautiful, I couldn't say for sure.

We spent a little more time talking about everything and nothing before he wished me goodnight. Standing near the entrance of the Reverie his face came close to mine again, and I never expected the kiss he planted on my lips. Afterwards I looked up with a smile, and returned the kiss, a much longer one.

I changed into my pajamas and brushed my teeth. As I shook one of my pillows, I noticed Niobe staring at me from the common room, then caught her whispering into Spyro's ear with her eyes locked on me. Spyro hushed her and turned his face away from me, and after narrowing her eyes with a grimace, Niobe, too, looked away.

Before my execution, I would've never dared to stare back in a tense air like this. But something had changed. Though I still felt frightened, it no longer held me back as much as it used to. There, in the arena, I had come to realize that in the end it did not matter whether one had a ton of enemies or friends for you'd always be alone on your judgment day, even when surrounded by hundreds.

"What was that?" I said, quite impressed by my nerves. It almost seemed as if I had finally grown a spine, though I knew I still needed much work.

Niobe rose up from the couch and appeared in front of the opened door with folded arms. "Yes, I was talking about you."

My hands began to tremble, I balled them into fists. Man up, Wren. It was time for me to stop avoiding confrontation. I swallowed and took a deep breath, and hoped my voice would not come out as small as I felt. "Well, you can say it to my face." Fail. My voice came out as a tiny trembling sound, but it was the words which mattered, I supposed.

"Fine," Niobe said, and glanced around. "Nobody else will, so I'll go ahead and say it." She moved closer, slanted her head and frowned. I felt her breath on my face. "Do you know how hard we've struggled to gain this town's respect? Do you have any idea how much effort we have given to make sure this town doesn't see us as demons? We kept quiet when they cussed at us, we kept quiet when they threw stuff at us, we kept quiet when they shoved us." She swallowed and chuckled. "And then you come along with your damn fire show, undoing all the hard work."

"I didn't..."

"Yes, Wren. Yes, you did," Niobe said. Both her eyes lit up to a blazing fire. "You were supposed to die. It might sound cruel, but so many before you have died for less. And all because you didn't die everyone else has to face the consequences."

Elora placed herself between Niobe and me, forcing her to take a step back. "Niobe, that's enough."

The fire in her eyes disappeared and her warm, brown eyes returned. Biting her trembling lip, Niobe turned around and slammed the door shut. I said goodnight to Elora and went to bed. From the moment I closed my eyes the strip of faces began to slide. This time Niobe's was among them too.

With my spread arms flailing, looking much like a drunk bird, I hopped from pole to pole on the dock spreading out in front of me above the water, trying to balance my toes on their little round ends. I hopped off the last pole and looked at the orange glow mirroring across the water. A tight sensation of power and strength rose up from my belly and spread itself over my every being, hugging my body from within.

This evening, I had nothing better to do. It was a good feeling, having the luxury to be bored. Most people, however, weren't bored today. They were preparing for the party which would be held tonight, here on the water, hosted by my cousin Farren and her friend Torill. A charity event to raise money for the renovation of the arena after it burned down. My own cousin hadn't even invited me. Whether that bugged me? Well. It reminded me of all the birthday parties I was never invited to, how every one of my classmates would get that stupid little envelope and I'd be the only one left out. They'd smirk at me while reading it, throwing me patronizing looks. So, yes, my own cousin not inviting me bugged me.

I kneeled down at the edge of the dock, hunched over, and scooped up two handfuls of water and brought those underneath my chin, and blew. The water rose from my palms above my head without spilling a single drop. I blew once more, this time directing my breath at the puddle hovering above me, and the water swelled into a shiny bubble, locking me inside. With a big grin, I poked a finger through the bubble and watched my finger expand it as if it were made of plastic.

"Having fun, are you?"

The voice startled me and caused the bubble to pop and rain all over me. With a grunt, I leaped up. "Dominik." I wiped the water off my face and shook my wet hands and arms. His face carried his usual smirk, and his deep-set eyes their usual wickedness. I despised Dominik. Every time I came to their house for my demon-sessions with Clyde he'd do everything in his power to make me feel unwanted. "What do you want?"

The smirk disappeared from Dominik's face and he looked down with a sad expression, slumping his shoulders and rubbing his forehead. "I came to apologize," he said, then looked up. "I'm sorry for the way I've been acting these days." Dominik took a few steps closer. I forced myself not to step back, being reassured by the waves behind me. "Look, we, I mean the Supreme families, we've been together for centuries. We have survived plagues and armies of enemies and... and Hell. Then you come along and jeopardize the safety of all our families. You've got to understand, after everything we've been through, the thought of one person bringing death upon all of us frightened me. In the end, I'm just trying to protect the families." Dominik swallowed. "But I was wrong, Wren. Why should one innocent be sacrificed to please the bullies when we can fight back instead? Why should Tartarus have the power to demand a sacrifice and threaten our lives, when we can stand up against them?" He shrugged. "Don't you agree?"

Dominik seemed sincere with wanting to know my opinion, so I nodded. "I understand. Your family was in danger and I'm just one sacrifice, someone you don't even know. You were willing to do whatever it takes to make sure they're safe."

"Exactly," Dominik said. "I acted out of fear. I shouldn't have. Clyde is a brother of mine, and a friend of his is a sister of mine. As your brother, I will fight for you, too, because you're one of us now." Dominik briefly paused and observed my face. "I'm truly ashamed for how I treated you. I'm sorry." He stretched his hand. "Will you forgive me?"

Without hesitation I smiled and shook his hand. "Of course."

Dominik smiled back, then let his gaze slide over the waves and the mountains, and I looked at him. A brother. I couldn't stop the smile following that thought. Happiness was something I wasn't familiar with, but I was pretty sure this was it. I had it all now. A home, power, friends, and family. The journey that brought me here had been a hard one, years of suffering and pain, but I lived through all of it to receive this reward, happiness. I realized those were the only things I had always desperately craved for; to be loved and accepted.

"You're quite all right," I said.

Dominik laughed, but did not face me and continued to peer in the distance. "So are you."

"What are you looking at? What is it?"

He lifted his arm and pointed at the mountains. "Do you see that opening over there?" I narrowed my eyes and began to scan the sharp layers of stone on the grey mountains. There were a lot of openings. "The one that shines," he said.

Finally, I saw it. While the other openings showed holes with blackness, a single one did not. A bright light emerged from within. "Oh, I see it. What is it?"

"Magic."

"What kind of magic?"

"There's a magical lake inside the cave which gives off bright light."

"A magical lake?" I waited for more, but he remained silent. "Take me there."

Dominik looked at me, glanced at the mountain, and back at me. "Are you sure? We can't get there by transport and it's a rough climb."

"I can raise the sea a hundred miles into the sky," I said, "I'm pretty sure I can handle a climb."

And so we climbed. To keep my balance, I landed my feet on the small scrubs growing on the mountain while grabbing to their roots. I was exhausted when Dominik pulled me over the edge and told me we had arrived. He led me through more scrubs and small trees until we reached a massive hole. Beneath us was water so blue and clear it looked like painted, illuminated jelly with little trifling waves. A part underneath the water was green and shaped like an egg, outlined by a bright, vivid blue edge which turned darker blue as it blended with the rest. Two small red boats floated on the water, leaving narrow black shadows at the bottom.

Taking a deep breath, I allowed the black smoke to swallow me in its darkness. The boat splashed as I landed on the harsh wood. A second later, Dominik appeared next to me as well. He began to row the boat further to the slightly darker part, and we quickly met the jagged wall of the cave. Red corals grew on the walls, along with bright green moss. My eyes turned to the hole above us where I'd stood moments earlier. A wide, bright light shone inside, creating a glistening circle of shining blue.

"It's so beautiful here," I said. "This is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."

Dominik hunched over the edge of the boat and slid his hand through the water. "They say this water is enchanted. That a few sips will bring you an eternity of fortune."

"And, does it?"

Looking up at me, he shrugged. "I wouldn't know, never tried it. But..." His hand disappeared inside the pocket of his jeans, fishing out a small, silver flask which he held up with a broad smile. "For everything a first." He removed the cap of the flask and held it underneath the water for a little while. When the bubbling stopped, he took the flask out and brought it to his lips. The flask froze midair, and Dominik locked my eyes. "Oh, right. I'm supposed to be a gentleman. Ladies first?"

"Thanks," I said, and brought the flask to my lips. Once more, the flask froze midair. "Should I drink all of it, or leave some for you?"

Dominik waved his hand and gestured at the water. "There's plenty of it. Drink away."

With big slugs, I emptied the flask. It tasted good, cold and fresh, and there was a sweet, though hardly noticeable, taste about it.

Cold.

The cold of the water spread itself from my throat through my entire body. My body began to shiver. I tried to move, but was paralyzed. Black veins started to grow on my hands and wrists. My throat swelled up. Wheezing for air, I dropped on my hands. "You... you bastard." I began to laugh. "You poisoned me?"

Dominik pulled me up and stared deep into my eyes with a look of fascination. "It's okay. You're going home." He lifted my paralyzed body in the air and threw me over the edge of the boat. "Don't be afraid. Earth is no place for a misunderstood monster like you. It's okay, you're going home."

"Dominik. You better pray I die, or I will..."

Strong hands pressed against my shoulders and pushed me into the freezing water. I regained control over the muscles in my hands. My fingernails dug into his hands, to no avail. The cool water filled my lungs with every breath. Dominik smirked at me through the blurred layer of blue and, for an instant, my mother's face flashed over his, her wicked eyes and her bared teeth, her hands pushing me down. The last thing I saw was a light, its golden rays so bright it blinded me, before the cold dark wholly swallowed me.