CH. 5 (Emmett)

I spent the rest of my day trying to Distance myself from Elle, but it was hard since my entire family already knew about her, and Kate was her best friend.

Kate had warned me to stay away from her so i would respect her wishes. I would stay away since i wasn't in any position to be with her. I wish i could, she seemed like a cool girl and she's very beautiful...but i know i can't. Despite the fact that Rose has moved on and is happy it just seems wrong, it seems like i'm cheating on her or something.

I just wanted today to be over. I walked behind Kate as we went to study hall, she stopped at a class room and i watch as Elle walked out of the classroom with Jasper.

I hate that she's happy and it isn't me that's making her happy.

I want to go over to her, talk to her, or hold her hand once more.

She catches sight of me and i can't stand looking at her knowing that i will only hurt her so i avert my eyes and turn my head to stare at a wall. I felt Jasper's heated stare on me and i knew he wouldn't approve. But no one would understand. Yes she might be sad by me doing this right now, but she'll get over me eventually. Why lead her on when i know there can be no future.

I need to talk to Carlisle and Esme, they are the voice of reason.

I walked behind everyone as we entered the library.

I pulled out some random shit and my iPod from my messenger bag.

I put on some music to match my mood and began on my French assignments. This paper was mind numbingly easy seeing as i speak fluent french. I mean i know i could probably teach the teacher a thing or two. I easily conjugated verbs and fought the urge that coursed through me to look up at Elle.

No one understands that it hurts me so bad, knowing that i'm hurting her. All she wants is for me to like her and i can't. Not without leading her on. I need to figure myself out before i attempt to begin things with her.

I close my eyes after a while and i can see her from this morning, she was so happy and bubbly, then i switched to gym class, how her body moved with poise and her vibrant hair swung with ease. Her stunning eyes shining brightly, her plump lips smiling without thought.

I remembered French class, how she smiled a perfect smile at me and shyly looked away with her blush stained cheeks.

But after Kate talked to me and i knew i couldn't string her along, it wasn't fair to her, and no matter how much it hurt me i had to distance myself.

I knew it would be hard since the family members she has met are instantly putty in her hands, they adore her and would already do anything for her. I honestly do not look forward to seeing Alice, she'll probably throttle me since she already knows i've chosen to say away.

I hear a small huff and open my eyes just in time to watch Elle stand up and walk away from the table.

My heart aches.

I want nothing more than to get up and follow her, hold her face and stroke my thumb over her heated cheeks, kiss her full lips, and do anything and everything in my will to keep her from feeling hurt.

But i know that's wrong. I still Love Rose. I sigh in frustration at how fucked up my life is.

Edward was right, once when he thought Bella had killed herself he mumbled into the phone to Rose, something about "Maybe this is Hell, for why would the fates give you such a precious gift then rip it away from you." I now understand my brother fully.

I noticed both Jasper and Kate sending me heated looks, i glared back at them, Jasper's features softened a bit, i knew he could feel my internal battle with myself. But Kate held strong, not flinching.

"You're hurting her more you asshole." Kate nearly spit at me.

"Well what the fuck do you want me to do Kate?" I hissed at her, low so Elle wouldn't hear us. "First you say to stay away from her and now your trying to get me to talk to her. Maybe you should just stay the fuck out of it!"

"You What?!" Jasper nearly growled at Kate.

"I just told Emmett that if he didn't feel the same way about Elle then he should just stay away from her and avoid hurting her." Kate said, fear and sadness running across her face.

"Did you not stop and think that Emmett could be confused, hmm? That maybe Rosalie had broken his confidence and now he questions if it's right to love or even like another?" Jasper said.

I hadn't realized he had been so attentive to my emotions. He had virtually hit the nail on the head. I hated being vulnerable so i growled a bit.

"No i hadn't, all i knew was that I needed to look out for my friends best interests." Kate said trying to stand her ground.

"Well maybe you're the one that hurt her." I said causing Kate's cool and harsh demeanor to waver. I knew she was taking all of our words in.

I wanted to get up and leave but i find that i can't be away from Elle for too long without my mind just drifting to thoughts of her.

Kate crossed her arms and sat scowling more to herself than anything else, Jasper looked mad at Kate and i was still trying to figure out what the hell was going on with myself. And then Elle sadly strolled back to the table.

I watched as she sat her book down, A book of Poems written by Edgar Allen Poe, and then she took a seat. She thumbed through it and found a page she liked. She read it a little then began to write in her notepad.

I watched as she wrote out two lines from the poem,

'My Heart to joy at the same tone;
And all i loved, I loved alone.'

My face fell further and i wanted to pull my hair out.

Does she love me? Is it possible?

I felt how my heart cried to be loved, how it ached to love once more. Could this fiery little redhead be the women i can spend the rest of my life with. If i told her i love her i would eventually have to tell her the TRUTH about me and my family. Would she still love a monster such as myself. Would she be scared and run away, or would she be brave and accept me? Would she want to be like us, or would she choose mortality and one day die? Could i handle that? I think i would learn to accept it if it was her wish to one day die.

What am i thinking. She can't love me, she hardly knows me.

My stomach drops at the truth and the bell soon rings.

"Elle Darlin' i can't wait for you to meet my girlfriend Alice, she's gonna love you." I heard Jasper say.

I roll my eyes, Alice already loves her, she's been giddy ever since having the first vision of Red.

I slowly put my things away, trying to put some distance between Elle and my family versus myself. I knew i would be in for a massive shit storm once i faced my family. I better get used to the heated stares and the cold shoulder.

Elle, Jasper, and Kate all walked out of the library and i still sat at the table.

I finally put all of my shit into my messenger bag and headed out of the library and i ran off of the school property, i found myself running to the nearest forest and quickly drained two elk. I sat on a cold boulder and looked out at the lightly dusted ground.

It was August, well into it's third week and it had already begun to snow lightly. Soon enough Fall would come and then the bigger animals would go into hibernation. I sighed once more.

"If it isn't one thing it another." I said lowly to myself.

I shook my head and stood up, i dusted myself off and ran back to school.

I knew i wasn't going to eat so i knew i wasn't going to perform the charade of getting lunch today.

I walked into the crowded cafeteria.

I heard a few giggles and some very ego boosting comments coming from a couple of girls that were staring at me. It kind of gets old being eye candy for them, they just stare like i'm a piece of meat.

I rolled my eyes and stalked over to the table were my family and Elle sat.

"Cullen Men are weird like that, One minute they're trying to pushing you away and then the next minute they're practically stalking you." I heard Bella telling Elle. I walked up and saw Edward smiling.

I took the only open seat, it just so happened to be directly in front of Elle. I tried to ignore my siblings stares and i crossed my arms to show them that i didn't care, looking into every ones faces to get my point across. I dared anyone to say anything to me right now.

After i took in every ones cold appearances towards me i saw Red drop her head and fix her gaze on something on her tray.

My face softened and fell, i felt my arms drop drown and prop themselves on the table. I leaned in a little trying to get her attention but nothing i did could get her look at me. I just wanted to see her smile and watch as her eyes danced with light.

"Come on Elle." Alice said standing up and dragging Red with her.

I was pissed that she would take her from me.

I watched as Alice pulled her out of the cafeteria, i kept my eyes in that direction praying they would come back in. The doors closed and i turned back around. I let my head fall into my hands and i let out a loud sigh.

Edward patted my shoulder in a reassuring fashion.

"Don't be afraid to listen to your feelings." Edward said giving me a weak smile.

Edward was the only one who had been through something slightly similar, I even voted for turning Bella into a Vamp, knowing her being one of us would make my bro Edward a happier person.

I gave hi a forced smile and put my head back into my hands.

"Well i adore her, she's so pretty." Ness said sitting next to me.

I peaked at her from my fingers and grinned. "I think she's pretty too." I said, surprising everyone including myself.

I got up and walked out of the Cafeteria. I couldn't stand being at school a minute longer. I only had one more class but i couldn't be bothered to stay here.

I got into my Truck and took off.

I knew where i had to go. I drove on down the road until i came to a big building made of white cinder-block.

I sat in my truck for another few minutes trying to gather my thoughts and then i finally exited my vehicle and made my way into the hospital.

I walked up to the young women sitting behind the front desk right in the entryway of the building.

She was typing away at her computer when i walked up, i know she didn't hear my footsteps so i cleared my throat a bit.

She looked up and her eyes widened, first with fear then lust. She licked her lips and leaned forward a little exposing her cleavage. i fought the urge to roll me eyes.

"How may i help you?" She asked in a husky bedroom toned voice.

i wanted to laugh at this woman's brazen attempts.

"I'm looking for my Fathers Office." I said looking behind her boredly out the window.

Her face crinkled a bit when she thought i wasn't noticing her attempts to charm me.

"And who would Dad be?" She asked playfully trying to flirt.

This time i couldn't resist sighing and closing my eyes, i pinched the bridge of my nose and answered her.

"Dr. Carlisle Cullen, Chief of Medicine. I'm his son Emmett Cullen so if you could be so kind as to direct me to him i have a very urgent matter to discuss with him."

She looked shocked.

"Dr. C is your father?" She asked beside herself.

"Last time i checked." I snapped back.

She composed herself and finally realized this thing between her and i was going nowhere, she gave me instructions to Carlisle's office and i quickly walked away.

I knocked on the door and Heard Carlisle get up and open the door.

"Alice said you would be coming over." He said smiling.

I rolled my eyes and walked into the office.

"Same office different location." I said looking around his familiarly decorated office.

He chuckled and nodded, taking his seat behind his desk.

"I'm assuming Alice also told you why i was coming." I guessed with annoyance.

"She said you would inform me." He said.

I closed my eyes and let my head fall back.

"I don't even know where to start." I confessed. "I guess it all started this morning on my way to gym."

Carlisle sat quietly listening as i recounted my day for him. I told him all about Elle and Then i told him of my concerns and "Theory" about Rosalie and I. By the time i finished, Carlisle just sat there, silently thinking.

This is why i liked talking to Carlisle, He never judged you, for anything.

Finally after a long silence he spoke.

"Well son, it seems you do have a lot to think about. Let me ask you one questions first."

I nodded my head and he continued.

"Can you honestly imagine a future without her."

"But Carlisle i can't love her."

Carlisle scooted closer to me. "That isn't what i asked son, again, Can you see a future without her." I looked shocked "You don't have to answer but it's a question you need to ask yourself. No you don't have to love her right now, but i do believe it IS time for you to move on, and in order to do so i'm going to suggest you go to Italy."

My eyes were wide with curiosity. Carlisle knew that if i went to Italy i would see Rose and possibly lose it. Who knows i could miss her so much i could possibly go on a killing spree and the the Volturi would kill me, That would hurt my family.

"Carlisle I-I Can't."

"You can and you will. It's what's holding you back. Go and see HER, visit with her, see how she's doing. If she's happy then why can't you be? She's moved on and so should you. I feel like you physically need to see it for yourself to finally let go of the past. While you're there you may even find an answer to other questions as well." Carlisle said smiling at the end.

I nodded and stood up to leave.

"Please stop by the house first, tell Esme bye. We will miss you son, but we look forward to finding out how things will turn out." Carlisle said standing up and and hugging me. I smiled and hugged him tighter.

I let him go and he chuckled. "I will miss you son, but right now i miss my old son more." Carlisle patted my shoulder and walked out.

I walked out with him and then got into my truck. I did as he said, i went by the house, packed a bag and bid a farewell to Esme.

"I know better than to argue when my sons feel the need to leave." She said into my chest. I smiled and kissed her hair, i love my adoptive mother, she always loved us no matter what our flaws were.

after another quick hug i left. I drove to the airport and boarded my flight, in a few hours i would once again face Rosalie.

My savior.

My ex-wife.

My pending Love.