"there is no fair in life and death. if it were, no good men would die young. "

*

"Black. Potter. Get up."

Moody's growling voice startled Sirius out of his half-awake state and he immediately rose to his feet. James put down the Quidditch magazine he'd been idly flipping through and followed suit. Both were supposed to go off on a mission that night, but Dumbledore let them off of the hook, sending Frank and Heistia instead. Moody told them that they'd have a late night anyway, but they were basically just sitting around, so Sirius took the opportunity to sleep and James decided to catch up on that year's racing brooms.

"What's up, Mad-Eye?"

"No time. We need to move. Wands out at all times, lads."

He stomped down the hallway without so much as a goodbye. Throwing James a confused look, Sirius hurried down the hall after his mentor, James on his heels.

"Seriously, what's up?"

"Like I said, no time to explain. I've got to go take care of some damned Death Eaters and I'm taking the two of you with me."

"Us?" James asked, slightly confused. "That's great and all, but quick question. Why do you want us? Shouldn't we grab Dorcas? She's better in a fight than Sirius and me combined."

"No," Moody said sharply. "No, we're not taking her with us."

"Why not?" Sirius asked. "She's better than us!"

"You shouldn't have to question me, Black." Moody reached the end of the hallway and stopped, holding out his gnarled hand. "We're apparating. Now."

"To where?" James demanded, his temper flaring up. "We deserve to know what we're walking into!"

Alastor Moody sighed. For once, he looked like a man tired of the world and of violence. "We're going to Falmouth."

"Falmouth," Sirius muttered, his mind working furiously. "Hold up! Why are we hunting Dolohov? It's not our assignment. You gave that job hours ago to-"

"Let's go," Moody interrupted, already back to that harsh personality. As soon as the young men joined hands with him, the Head Auror disapparated, bringing the three of them onto a side street in the wizarding community of Falmouth. Darkness cloaked the little town, and no one was in sight. "Come on."

Without waiting for the other two, Moody started off.

"Wait Moody, hold on!"

"Wands out," he snapped. "There are Death Eaters close by. They're probably expecting ruddy idiots from Magical Law Enforcement, but they're getting us instead."

"But why?" James burst out, still utterly perplexed about the situation. "This isn't our - no."

In life, you meet people for a reason. There are those you love, those you hate, and those for which you feel every emotion in between. If you're lucky, you are born into a loving family, and these people are the first to be willing to die for you. Then, you branch out a bit and start meeting friends of your own, and if you're lucky, this is the family that you chose for yourself. Some people are especially lucky, and their best friend shares their blood.

By May 31, 1980, the only thing Fabian and Gideon Prewett hadn't done together was die. And on June 1, 1980, they did that too.

The first one they found was Fabian, motionless on his side. Sirius bent down and rolled him gently onto his back. The limpness in his form scared Sirius. Fabian's golden brown eyes stared blankly at the summer stars ruined by the ghastly Dark Mark, unseeing. A trickle of blood ran down the side of his head. Searching for a pulse felt childish, but Sirius couldn't help clinging to the hope that maybe, just maybe, this was another prank, the most convincing and inappropriate one they'd pulled yet. But Fabian's wrist was cold and his body was still and there was nothing any of them could do about it.

"Bloody hell," James whispered hollowly. He reached to rumple his messy hair and his skin took on a greenish color. "I- how?"

Moody hadn't moved since he saw the corpse of Fabian Prewett, one of his best Aurors, one of his most talented and dedicated students, someone he cared about more than he'd ever let on. He was infinitely thankful that he'd left Dorcas behind. As cool as she was in terrible situations, he believed that stumbling into a sight like this would push her over the edge. And yet, he knew that the night would grow far worse.

"We need to keep moving," he said in a hoarse voice. "We'll come back for... for him."

Silently, Sirius rose from the ground, refusing to look at the corpse of his friend for a final time. He and James shared knowing glances before following Moody once again, but it didn't take long for them to stop again.

It was like reliving the same nightmare all over again.

Gideon Prewett lay on the ground, only about ten feet away from Fabian. One of his arms was stretched out so that it almost looked like he had reached out for his twin seconds before his death. Blood dripped from a wound in his side onto the cobblestone path, and his freckles looked particularly pronounced on his pale face.

Sirius actually had to put a hand up against a tree to remain standing. A sick feeling coursed through him and he held back tears.

None of this makes sense anymore.

With immense difficulty due to his wooden leg, Moody bent down and examined him as the other two watched silently.

"Both were hit by the Killing Curse," he finally said, shaking his head. "I'd reckon they'd been fighting for quite some time. If I had to guess, someone caught Gideon with a pretty nasty curse before they were able to finish him off, and then everyone ganged up on Fabian."

"Everyone?" James asked weakly. "You think this wasn't just Dolohov?"

"There is absolutely no way that Dolohov could have taken down the Prewetts on his own," Sirius whispered, his eyes on the Dark Mark. A hollow, helpless feeling settled in his stomach. "They were the best of us."

"I've got to agree with you. Keep your wits about you, lads," Moody said quietly. "I'd wager we're not out of the woods yet."

"Come off it," James said. He stared at Moody, wide-eyed under his glasses. "You don't reckon they're still hanging around? Are you barking mad, Mad-Eye?"

"It's like I said, Potter. They're expecting a few blokes from Magical Law Enforcement to come clean up their mess. Thinking like them, I'm sure they think they can just pick off a few more. However, I told Barty Crouch personally that if he sends any of his minions, then he won't recognize himself the next time he looks in the mirror. It's just us."

A flash of green light shot through the air. It would have hit Sirius across the face and killed him instantly if James hadn't shoved him out of the way. The three Aurors raised their wands and stood in a line, the boys on opposite sides of Moody.

"Show yourself, you damn coward," Moody muttered, his magical eye going haywire as he looked. It created a quite intimidating effect. "Too afraid to face me yourself, Dolohov?"

"No," a voice called. Dolohov stepped out of the shadows, four other masked Death Eaters flanking him, and he dipped his head. "Greetings, Alastor."

"You made a mistake tonight," Sirius snapped. "You're going to pay for it."

"Am I?" He laughed a bit, his scorn echoing in the night air. "You lost two fighters tonight. How does it feel, Alastor, to lose two in a night? I'd bet it's starting to feel familiar, now that you're on the losing end of this war."

Moody refused to rise to the bait and instead gripped his wand tighter. "I am going to say this one time," he threatened in a low voice. "You either choose surrender willingly or we will force you to it."

"I don't think either of those will be happening."

The curses started to fly. Sirius could barely keep up with everything. Part of him wanted to protect James, but he had plenty to protect himself with. The Prewetts died in a two versus five fight, and three versus five wasn't much better. He needed to focus. Blocking all memories of the night out of his mind, he threw himself into the moment. Moody took on Dolohov and two other Death Eaters at once, leaving the final two to James and Sirius.

Just like always, they fought better together. The friends worked like a well-oiled machine, sending each other's next move before they made it.

"Just like old times, Pads?" James shouted, undoubtedly thinking of the duels they'd gotten themselves into back at school as well as all of the scrapes they'd gotten into in their years as Aurors. He wiped blood from his nose from where a spell hit him moments before. 

"Let me know if you're getting tired!" Sirius neatly blocked a jinx with the flick of his wrist.

"Me? Never!"

James grinned at his best friend. "Expelliarmus!"

The wand of the shorter Death Eater flew out of his wand and into the air, allowing him to catch it.

"Nice one, James!" Sirius congratulated before pointing his wand. "Petrificas Totalus!"

"Immobulus!"

The pair fell to the ground, stiff and still as boards. Both turned around to help Moody, but he had already taken down all three of his opponents and was now watching them with mild interest.

"You couldn't have stepped in to help?" Sirius demanded, slightly annoyed. His body grew exhausted as the adrenaline of the last ten minutes wore off.

"I wanted to see if you could do it." Moody shrugged, then glanced around. "Five more for Azkaban tonight. I'd bet Barty sends them without a trial, too."

"He can do that?" James asked curiously. "Send someone to Azkaban without a trial, I mean."

"New law. He can do whatever he wants. The Auror Office is going to change," Moody said. Then he checked his watch. "I think I'll go fetch some of the goons from Law Enforcement, they can take in this lot. Can you two take-"

"Yeah, we can," James said, cutting over his mentor so that he wouldn't have to finish that sentence.

Moody nodded approvingly. "I'm going to be stuck dealing with these five for hours now. There'll be all sorts of paperwork and annoying people to talk to. I'd appreciate it if you take care of... things. People need to be informed."

"Moody, we've got this," Sirius said reassuringly. "Just go. We'll see you early tomorrow."

"Constant vigilance, lads."

He disapparated on the spot.

James turned to Sirius. "What do you reckon? He's not okay, right?"

"No, he's not." Sirius closed his eyes and sighed. "And I reckon it could have been us just as easily."

James cleaned off his glasses with care. Worry swept through him. "What do we do? How do we tell people that they're gone?" His voice sounded tight, strained.

All he wanted to do was go home to Lily. He wasn't expecting to work a late shift at the Ministry, and he definitely wasn't expecting to find two of his friends and co-workers dead. She was probably worried sick by now, and that couldn't be healthy for her so close to her due date.

"I dunno." Sirius' voice broke. "I say we send Patronuses. One to Dumbledore, one to McGonagall, and one to Eva and Moony. If we pull a long night, we can get around to telling everyone else in person."

"Sirius, we're going to have to tell Molly. We're going to have to tell Molly that both of her brothers are gone."

Sirius nearly broke down then and there. At that moment, it hit him that he would never hear Gideon or Fabian Prewett laugh ever again.

"We'd better get started, then," Sirius whispered. The two started to walk back to retrieve the bodies of their friends, but James stopped his friend.

"Sirius, I just wanted to say that I'm glad to have you as my best mate."

"Don't get mushy on me, Prongs," Sirius joked, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. "I don't reckon I can take it right now."

"No, I need to. You've been good to Lily and me in these last few months, Eva and you both, and I really don't know what I'd do without you."

Wordlessly, James wrapped Sirius in a tight hug. They stood there for a minute before separating, both pretending not to see each other's tears.

"How many more?" Sirius asked, his voice barely audible.

"Come again?"

Sirius missed Eva so much it ached. If she were here, she would be able to make sense of everything. She would make everything alright. He ran his thumb across his wedding band absentmindedly.

"How many more can this damn war take from us?" Gideon, Fabian, Benjy, Mary, Kriss, Regulus.

James only shook his head.

*

Gideon and Fabian were killed.

Albus Dumbledore sank into the chair behind his desk and wondered how the Order could keep fighting back against darkness when all of their fighters were falling like soldiers on a battlefield.

Gideon and Fabian were killed.

Minerva McGonagall put her head in her hands, mourning two more of her students who died far too young.

Gideon and Fabian were killed.

Eva Black sobbed in Remus Lupin's arms while silent tears slid down his cheeks.

Gideon and Fabian were killed.

Peter Pettigrew stared at the wall for the longest time, his expression blank as he pulled at his left sleeve.

Gideon and Fabian were killed.

Dorcas Meadowes politely asked James to leave before dissolving into tears in the privacy of her office.

Gideon and Fabian were killed.

Marlene McKinnon flung the first thing she could find - an old vase - at the wall as hard as she could, screaming in agony as it shattered.

Gideon and Fabian were killed.

Molly Weasley's legs gave out and she fainted, her husband catching her right before she collapsed onto the front steps.

Gideon and Fabian were killed.

No one wanted to believe it.

Gideon and Fabian were killed.

But it was true.

*

James finally walked through the creaky gate to the house in Godric's Hollow at half past three in the morning. His head ached and his stomach was growling, but he couldn't bring himself to deal with anything. Once inside, he hung his coat up and slipped off his shoes before tiptoeing up the stairs.

He pushed open the door to his bedroom, expecting his wife to be sound asleep. Instead, he found her sitting up, a closed book in her lap.

"James!" She jumped off of the bed and flung herself into his arms, not an easy feat with her being seven months pregnant. "Why're you so late?"

"I'm sorry," he whispered tiredly, holding her close. "I had too many things to do. You shouldn't have waited up for me, Lilyflower. It's not good for you."

"I couldn't sleep," she muttered, staring up at him with wide green eyes. "You were supposed to be back at ten, and you weren't, and no one knew where you were, and I didn't know what to do, and-"

"Hey, it's okay. I'm here now." He rested his chin on the top of her head and steeled himself to break the news. "Fabian and Gideon were killed tonight, Lily."

"What?" She whispered unbelievingly. "No, they... they can't be dead."

James felt his own eyes well up. "Sirius and I went with Moody to Falmouth. Five Death Eaters got them. They're all on their way to Azkaban now. I just got back because Sirius and I had to tell people."

"James, I'm so sorry." She stood on tiptoes and kissed his cheek as tears slipped down her own. "Do you need anything? Are you hungry? Do you want to shower? Is here anything I can do?"

"I just want to go to bed. I've got an early day tomorrow."

"What time?" Lily walked into the bathroom as he changed into more comfortable clothes.

"Six."

"Six?" She repeated, aghast, poking her head out from behind the bathroom door. "That's in three hours! You're exhausted! You can't possible-"

"I have to, Lily." He yawned and sat down on the corner of the bed. "The Auror Office is going to be complete mayhem tomorrow morning. Moody's going to need all the help he can get, and I promised that I'd be in early-"

"No, you don't have to, Jamie." Lily re-entered the bedroom holding a wet rag. With the hands of a healer, she gently began to wipe the blood off of his face. "You don't have to do anything other than stay alive. Stay with me. Stay with us."

James kissed her softly on the forehead. "I love you so damn much, Evans, but I can't just stop now. There's still too much to do."

"James Potter, one day I will get you to stand still," she vowed with the slightest smile. "Until then, I suppose I'll have to support your madness."

"The madness won't last forever," he reassured her in kind. He took off his glasses and let things go out of focus for a moment before sliding them back up his nose. "Everything I do is for you and Annie."

"I'm telling you, the baby's not Annie," she said softly. He placed a hand on her stomach, excitement flooding through him when he felt a kick. "It's Harry."

He tilted her chin up, a small smile on his face. "We'll see."

Lily left to put the bloody rag in the laundry. When she returned, James was already sound asleep. Smiling sadly, she took the glasses off of his face and set them on the nightstand. Then, she crawled into bed next to him and closed her eyes.

*

"Sirius?"

At the sound of her voice, he sat straight up in bed and fumbled his way through the dark apartment until he found her.

"Eva, what are you doing here?"

"I got your patronus," she whispered shakily, her eyes filled with tears. "Remus couldn't come, it's too close to the full moon, but I couldn't wait until morning to see you."

"I'm so glad you're here," he said honestly, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "I didn't want to wait to see you. Are you okay?"

"No." Her lip trembled. "Are you?"

"No."

She began to cry weakly into his chest. Sirius spent the first hour of trying to sleep with silent tears streaming down his cheeks, and he didn't think he could possibly cry more, but the moment he saw her in pain, the poorly-stitched wounds on his heart re-opened.

"Does Marlene know?"

"I told her myself," he replied hoarsely. "She just looked at me for a minute, then just asked me to leave. I thought I'd give her the space and check on her in the morning. I heard something smash when I shut the door."

"They're dead," she whispered in between sobs. "No one's going to call me Brandi anymore, Sirius."

He didn't have anything to say, so he just held her for a while.

Eventually, Eva sighed and wiped the tears from under her swollen eyes. "Do you have work tomorrow?"

"In about two hours, Blondie."

"Then we should go to bed," she whispered, wrapping her arms around his neck.

Even though he was bone-tired, Sirius scooped her up bridal-style and carried her into their bedroom, setting her down at the foot of her bed.

"What was that for?" Eva asked, smiling for the first time all night as she slid on one of his oversized shirts.

He shrugged. "I don't want to take you for granted. I don't want us to stop being us because of everything going on around the world. I mean... we aren't promised tomorrow, are we?"

"Don't talk like that," she said, covering his mouth with her hand. "I'll promise you tomorrow."

Sirius carefully removed her hand and kissed it. A mix of emotions crossed his face. "Can you promise the day after that?"

"No."

"I reckon tomorrow'll have to do, then." Taking her face in his hands, he kissed her softly and slowly, dreading everything that would come in the following days.

This chapter made me so depressed, but also soft. Ugh