You Forced Me To
1:05 ───|────── 3:04
|◁ II ▷|

✘

Kellin wishes he could say he accomplished any of the things he said he'd do the past month. Boyfriend talk? Never the right time. Kellin didn't think it would be good to drop that conversation topic in the middle of a random dinner when they were both exhausted from the day. And this was a big deal even if they technically were already boyfriends for the past two years.

He couldn't just randomly bring it up during one of their rerun nights. This moment deserved more than that.

And the wedding invitation? Didn't even get the chance to do it. Any time he tried, Oli would start talking about the new location that was going to open in Vegas. Or Oli would distract Kellin and then he'd start talking about how the album's going and how close they are to finishing it.

On the off chance, Kellin had a moment where he could've brought it up, aka silent dinners or getting comfortable for bed, Kellin never ended up bringing it up.

He couldn't.

Kellin would get that same suffocating feeling he had the first time he got the stupid thing. The invitation was now buried under his socks in a random drawer. But the unfortunate thing about procrastination was that there came a time when if he didn't do it soon, all hell would break loose.

And that was approaching soon because the wedding was quite literally in one day and Kellin still hadn't said anything about him being invited. He could blame it on the fact that he's been stuck at the studio most of the time, or that everyone around them seemed busy, so he couldn't talk to anyone about it. And that someone could tell Kellin how stupid he was for even considering going.

Because honestly, who in their right mind goes to their ex's wedding? Who cheated on their fiancé with you? Kellin has no business being at that wedding. Hell, he doesn't even have any business having the invitation in general.

Kellin wasn't that insane but he could be for the right reasons. Sadly, that right reason was a little old lady who knew how to tug at his heart when she didn't realize how absolutely miserable Kellin was. Kellin couldn't put the entire blame on her, after all, he's a grown-up. He could just decide not to go and deal with Vivian being upset for a little bit.

Kellin quite literally could make an excuse and it would be fine. But even now he couldn't get anything to come out of him even with Vivian sitting across from him.

Vivian was finally visiting Kellin's apartment and she got to meet Otto. Otto absolutely adored the woman. The second she got there, he made his designated napping spot for the day her lap. It was honestly really cute and Kellin could tell Vivian adored Otto just as much. It was like she was finally meeting one of her grandchildren, cooing and babying him, secretly feeding him snacks when she thought Kellin and Oli weren't looking.

Evidently, Otto purred and munched away happily.

One of the main reasons Vivian decided to visit today was because of Oli's promise of having dinner together and him making the meal. Honestly speaking, Kellin assumed they'd be at Oli's apartment since he had the better kitchen. But the night before he came over with bags of all the ingredients he needed for dinner tonight. In the end, though, it really doesn't matter where Oli ends up cooking because he always makes the most delicious meals anyway.

Oli went all out with dinner. He had multiple dishes so Vivian could pick and choose whatever she wanted to try while also making sure he made the dishes Kellin preferred. When he made sure to find out Vivian's preferences in food—she had none and was willing to try anything—that unleashed this cooking monster that wanted to do anything and everything. Oli wanted to wow her with his food since it'd be the first time she was trying it aside from the pancakes he made in Mexico.

He said it doesn't count—Kellin told him it did—because it was breakfast and something quick to get through the morning.

For the meal, he prepared appetizers since he knew most of the main dish(es) would take a bit for him to finish—even if he did start cooking right after coming over from work. They were simple spring rolls and Vivian was obsessed with them. It honestly made Oli filled to the brim with pride and Kellin couldn't help but feel his heart swell because it was the first time in a while that she ate with energy.

For the main dishes, Oli made three separate ones because he was insane and wanted to give her a variety. He made butternut squash stuffed pasta shells, jackfruit tacos, and used the leftover materials of their pizza date to make a small pizza for them as well. He originally only wanted to make two things but decided on the pizza last minute cause Kellin wanted to eat something he was more familiar with. To Kellin, it looked like Oli was finally letting himself cook after not doing so for ages—but that wasn't true because he cooks nearly every day for Kellin.

But maybe it was just his nerves and wanting to make this perfect and enjoyable for Vivian but also not too overwhelming. Though, Kellin thinks he failed a little in that department because Vivian was shocked at the amount of food he made.

Still, she didn't complain. Vivian tried almost everything but the pizza, mostly because after eating two jackfruit tacos, she was hitting her limit, which Kellin understood because he ended up trying everything. And he was full he felt like if he had another bite he'd blow up.

"This was so delicious," Vivian praised as she wiped her hands on a napkin, "You really are such a talented chef, Oliver."

Kellin smiled big and looked over at Oli who had a bashful smile on his face. He wanted to coo at the shy look he had, almost embarrassed from the praise, and the tips of his ears were slightly red.

"Thank you, Viv," Oli said, "I'm glad you enjoyed it."

"Ah," Vivian sighed happily and reached across the table to hold Kellin's hand, "It's so good to know you'll be the one to take care of my Kellin." They both blushed and Kellin squeezed her hand gently, "He truly deserves the best and you've shown me you're that."

Oli's cheeks progressively got red before glancing at Kellin who looked at him with a certain spark in his eyes it made his heart skip a beat for a second. He took in a shaky breath, smiling gently, "I'm lucky to be able to love him and to have your blessing."

Vivian grinned, letting go of Kellin's hand and patting it gently, "Oh you definitely have my blessing, for anything you want to do with your relationship in the future."

"Mom," Kellin mumbled, a bit embarrassed.

"What?" Vivian hummed and shrugged, "I'm just saying he has my blessing."

Kellin sighed and rolled his eyes playfully before Oli cleared his throat gaining both of their attention again. He felt like he was going insane, he could feel his heart pounding in his chest at the thought of- Don't get too ahead now.

"While I didn't make it," Oli started, "There is dessert-"

"Love," Kellin started, and Oli- Oh Oli nearly burst into flames right then and there. He could hear the way his heart was thumping in his ears, blood rushing back up to his cheeks, and that- Kellin just called him love. He's never called him love. How did it sound so much better coming out of Kellin than it ever does coming out of him? And Kellin is just smiling at him like he didn't just make Oli's heart stop and restart a bunch of times in the span of ten seconds.

"Let's give mom a second to digest," Kellin giggled endearingly at him. Kellin knows Oli's a little excited to eat dessert more than the meals he literally went crazy in preparing. This was because Oli wanted—needed was the better word to use here—to eat the best vegan chocolate mousse he'd ever had in his entire life. And that's saying something because his restaurant's own chocolate mousse was pretty up there amongst critics.

It was the same one from that hole-in-the-wall restaurant they tried on their "first" date.

"I think I can stomach dessert now," Vivian piped in with shiny excited eyes, "Especially if it's some form of chocolate."

Oli was still trying to recover from Kellin calling him love. His mind was reeling and all he wanted to do was kiss Kellin till they both needed to stop for air but wouldn't anyway because they just wanted—ah, no... craved—to keep kissing till Kellin was shaking. But, thankfully, the mention of the chocolate mousse he bought, brought him back onto earth.

What can he say? He really fucking loved that chocolate mousse.

"Lucky for you," Oli grinned, finding his voice again, "It does involve chocolate."

Kellin watched in disbelief as Vivian cheered as if she wasn't just saying she was full. Oli got up and practically skipped over to the fridge where he stored them. "You two are insane," Kellin groaned as he sunk into his seat. He doesn't think he can stomach another bite.

...But, he did remember that mousse was delicious. Might as well not let it go to waste.

✘

After they officially finished eating, the three of them lounged around in Kellin's living room, letting their dinner settle as they talked. They talked about anything and everything. From how they got Otto to how Kellin's new album was coming along to how the progress of Oli's new location in Vegas is going. Vivian wanted to hear it all, loving to know how their life was going even if she was mostly up to date on everything.

"So, what's the next step for the restaurant?" Vivian asked curiously. Kellin was leaning against Oli on the couch, not completely paying attention to the conversation, a little distracted by messing with Oli's fingers.

"Well, right now they're settin' everything up," Oli said, unfazed by Kellin messing around with his hands, "Grand opening is aimed by the end of August, hopefully."

"That's so exciting," Vivian hummed as she petted Otto who was still curled up on her lap, "I hope I'm invited, I want to see how it turns out."

"Of course," Oli smiled, "I'd love for the three of us to go," Oli emphasized the three to subtly put out there that he didn't want Vic and Nicholas or Mike to be invited somehow. That's the last thing Oli wants even if Vivian wanted to have everyone tag along to another uncomfortable "family" vacation.

"That'd be fun," Kellin chimed in, "We could make a quick trip out of it."

Before Vivian could respond her phone started ringing. Otto got spooked by the sudden noise and scampered off—it made Kellin laugh and Vivian pout. She looked for her phone in her purse and pulled it out before answering, "Hello?"

Kellin smiled gently at her before squeezing Oli's hand and standing up. He's pretty sure it's Mike coming to pick her up. Oli followed after him once Vivian confirmed it was Mike—he got a little lost trying to find Kellin's apartment—and went to help Kellin pack up some leftovers for Vivian to take.

By the time they finished packing up the food, Mike was knocking on the door. Kellin went to open the door and let him in.

"Damn, it smells good in here," Mike hummed just as Vivian attempted to stand up from the couch. Kellin was quick to walk over to her, frowning slightly at the way she struggled to get up. He helped her up and she smiled reassuringly, "Are you ready mom?"

"Yep!" She walked over with Kellin after saying goodbye to Otto who was curled up in his cat tree after being spooked by the phone. "Thank you for inviting me to dinner," Vivian smiled at Oli just as Mike took the bags from him before walking out of the apartment to wait for his mom to finish up.

"Of course mom," Kellin hugged her before pulling away with a big smile.

"You're welcome to come over whenever you'd like," Oli added before grinning, "I promise I won't go overboard next time."

They pulled away from the hug and Vivian laughed at Oli, "It's okay, I wouldn't mind." Vivian walked over and hugged Oli before pulling away and patting his arm, "Well, I'll see you two at the wedding."

Oli instantly frowned in confusion. Wedding? What wedding? He looked over to Kellin and saw him immediately tense up. "Y-Yeah," Kellin stuttered out as he walked her over to the door, "G-Get home safe, mom." And then Vivian was gone and Kellin was closing the door, standing there and not turning to look at Oli.

"What wedding is she talking about?" Oli asked. Vivian couldn't be talking about Vic and Nicholas' wedding. Why would Kellin even think about going to that? More importantly, why hasn't Kellin told him about this?

"Um," Kellin mumbled and finally turned around to walk over to the kitchen, still not making eye contact with him. He started to pick up the things Oli used to make dinner and take them to the sink, "She's uh... it's Nicholas and Vic's."

Oli walked closer to him, that sinking feeling starting to grow in his chest again, "And why does she think you're going to that wedding?" Kellin didn't say anything and continued to put more dishes into the sink, "Kellin."

He froze for a second at the serious way Oli sounded. Kellin finally looked over at him and felt his heart pounding against his chest the suffocating feeling taking over again.

'Why didn't you tell him sooner?'

'Were you planning on going by yourself?'

'To stop the wedding?'

No. No, shut up. Shut up. Shut. Up.

"Because I didn't say no."

"So, you said yes?" Oli's eyebrows furrowed together.

Kellin hated how upset he sounded and the look he was giving him. The last thing he wanted was to disappoint Oli again, to make him upset over his stupid decisions. He still hasn't decided on what he was actually going to do even though he was definitely teetering on not going and coming up with an excuse. Or just ignoring it completely and coming up with an excuse when he saw Vivian again.

"No," Kellin said quickly, "I-I just... I haven't told her-"

"Why not? Are you actually considering it?" Oli interrupted, arms crossing over his chest, "Were you not going to tell me?"

"Yes- I mean no," Kellin sputtered out before taking in a deep breath, eyes drifting away from him. He shrugged, "I was debating it but I was going to tell you."

"When? An hour before you had to go?" Oli asked, voice sounding more frustrated and Kellin wanted to stop talking about this. He shifted uncomfortably shaking his head before turning away again and going back to the sink to busy his hands before he started to dig his nails into his wrists, "Well?"

"No!" Kellin exclaimed, "It's just- Viv wants me to go and-"

"Oh, because she wants it," Oli scoffed, "So, if Vivian wanted you to marry Vic you'd do it because she said so?"

"Don't," Kellin snapped. He placed the plates he was holding back down in the sink, clattering loudly.

Kellin looked at him with widened eyes as he turned to look at him again. Because what the fuck? What the fuck did he mean by that? Does Oli actually think Kellin would do that? Not even if he was held at gunpoint would he ever agree to that now? "You're being ridiculous-"

"Am I?" Oli retorted, "Because the last few months I've seen you twist and bend to whatever she wanted even if it made you uncomfortable. To make her happy."

He didn't know what he was saying at that point but the anger and frustration were bubbling inside him. It has been for a while. He's wanted to stop Kellin from giving into these things just to appease Vivian and he's failed. That same failure was pissing him off because maybe if he tried hard enough, they wouldn't be in this situation now.

"Do you think I'm fucking insane enough to do that?" Kellin could feel it. The claw grabbed hold of him again and dragged him under. It was getting harder to breathe.

"Look at what you're doing now, Kellin," Oli's voice was starting to sound desperate at this point.

"What am I supposed to do!?" Kellin snapped, "She's dying, Oli. I want to be with her for the little time I have left with her!"

"You're torturing yourself," Oli practically shouted. Rage builds up in him because he hates how Kellin puts everyone ahead of himself. How he lets himself be put in uncomfortable positions time and time again. Oli especially hated being angry at him. "You didn't need to go to Mexico to comfort the guy who fucked you over multiple times-"

"You know that's not why I went!" Kellin yelled.

"And you don't need to go to his fucking wedding!" Oli yelled back making Kellin flinch, "I'm tired of watching you put yourself through this!"

Kellin stared at him, feeling his heart racing and his eyes watering with frustrated tears. Because he knows deep down that Oli is right. That he shouldn't be doing this to himself. No matter how far along he's moved on from Vic, it'll still always hurt in one way or another. It'll still always be uncomfortable to be around any of them.

But he couldn't just stop seeing Vivian. They will always be around her because those are her sons. He can't—he won't—let it be the deciding factor to stay away from her. To miss any chance to be with her and make her happy. Damn if Kellin is unhappy and uncomfortable, it doesn't compare to the inevitable fate that meets her. The unknown countdown till her heart stops and then she's gone from their lives.

The least he could do was whatever she asked of him.

"You don't have to," Kellin choked out, voice wavering as he turned away from him again back to the sink. Instead of washing up, he just gripped the edge of the counter, "You don't have to do anything. This is my choice and you don't have a say in what I do but you have a say in what you want to deal with and if that isn't me and my decisions, then you can leave."

'Now you've done it.'

'Of course, he doesn't want to deal with you!'

'He's going to leave you and you're going to die alone.'

'Who would want to put up with you!?'

It was silent besides the loud voice in his head. Kellin's words hang over them both with the implication of giving Oli a way out. A way out of his mess and his stupidity. Oli stood there, staring at the back of Kellin's head and he wanted to reach out to him. He wanted to shake him silly and continue trying to get through that thick skull of his.

But he knew that wouldn't accomplish anything.

"Fine," Oli said finally, "If you still want to go, then fine."

'See. He doesn't want you.'

'You always push people away because you're a piece of work.'

'You'll always be hard to love.'

Kellin let out a shaky breath, feeling his heart start to break. Stop him. Stop him. Stop him. Stop. Him. What are you doing? Move? Go to him?

This was for the best, this was-

"I'll be home, waiting," Oli continued, the tense anger in his voice fading. Kellin felt his breath hitch, the loud voice in his head subsiding. He heard Oli grab his keys and his heavy footsteps walking away from him.

Oli went for the door but before he opened it, he sighed. "If Vivian knew what Vic put you through, she wouldn't have asked you to do any of this. She loves you too much to do that to you and we both know it."

And then he walked out, not looking back.

✘

"So, what's the plan exactly?" Denis asked.

Kellin was gnawing on his lip staring down at his bed where a suit was laid out on it. After Kellin cried it out on his bed and nearly drove himself into insanity at all the self-deprecation, he called Jesse and Denis. Evidently, they heard him out but shared the same sentiment with Oli. That he shouldn't do this and should actually stay completely away from that damn wedding.

But, just like Oli, they were used to their stubborn friend and his decisions. Stupid or not.

"Honestly speaking," Kellin said as he looked up at his two friends who were also laying on his bed. It was the day of the wedding and he was supposed to be getting ready but instead, he was panicking and wanting a black hole to open up and drag him in, "I have no idea."

"How about you get dressed up," Jesse started as he sat up, looking over to Kellin, "Call up Oli and go to a fancy restaurant and eat. Denis call up your famous friends maybe they can get us into Delizia again."

Kellin frowned, giving Jesse a look, and crossed his arms, "Jess... I don't want to bother him. We haven't talked since we..."

Kellin trailed off, grabbed onto the three-piece suit, and stuffed it back into his closet before trying to find a different outfit. He didn't want to think about their fight. Jesse and Denis glanced at each other before looking over at him. Truth be told, Oli's been waiting for when Kellin wants to talk to him again. He didn't want to reach out first this time mostly because he knew they'd just end up in the same boat.

Arguing over it and Oli didn't want to go through that a second time. He hated being angry with him so... he sent the next best thing. It was a good thing Kellin called them after Oli texted them because they realized how serious it was this time. Jesse and Denis were there for... damage control? No, it was just to make sure he was safe if he did go to the wedding. The entire thing felt odd to Oli and he wouldn't put it past Nicholas if he was scheming up something.

Why else would they invite him?

"We're just gonna go for a couple of minutes," Kellin decided and pulled out the dress pants he wore during the dinner at Delizia and a burgundy button-up, "Say hi to Viv, and then we can leave."

The two held back their sighs.

They knew he wouldn't budge which was why they were already dressed up for the wedding. To be fair, Jesse had been invited already technically. Well, as a plus one since Zach—his boyfriend—had already been invited since he was friends with Vic still. Obviously, he wasn't going to go but Zach was so this kind of worked out in the end. Denis was Kellin's plus one and well... he's just here for the extra support.

"So... I shouldn't call my friend then?" Denis asked. Kellin sighed and stood there for a second as if he was genuinely debating on saying yes.

He shook his head, "I'm going to go change."

✘

The wedding was as extravagant as Kellin imagined it to be. He wasn't surprised by the grand wedding venue they held it at since he was no stranger to Nicholas' extremely detailed wedding plans. Nicholas was one of those people who dreamt of their wedding since the second he learned about love. Kellin would always listen to every detail and even gush about most of them since he shared similar preferences when he used to like the idea of marriage.

The pale pink and neutral colors paired with navy blues schemes, outside reception party, and a floral arch where the ceremony would be held, live band and a DJ. It was all there. Or was held already, Kellin didn't show up till he was sure they were already married.

The party was already in full swing. People dancing, eating, or doing the handful of activities they had planned around the venue. Kellin also remembered when Nicholas would talk about how he wanted people to have fun at his wedding so, he'd have arcade games, photo booths, open bar, etc.

Kellin already felt overwhelmed being there and he needed to find Vivian quickly so they could leave.

"Kind of hate to admit it," Denis said over the music, "They know how to throw a party."

Kellin let out a laugh but it sounded forced, eyes scanning the place. He saw some familiar faces around—some acquaintances, family members Kellin vividly remembers meeting once, distant friends, even Mike, Jaime and Tony who were busy at the open bar and Jesse talking with Zach at his table—but the one he was looking for was nowhere to be seen.

"Do you see her?" Kellin asked, frowning as he scanned the place again.

Denis looked around the place once, twice, three times- "No," Denis hummed, "She's gotta be around here somewhere... Let's go ask Mike, yeah?"

Denis looked back to where Kellin was standing only to see him gone. "Fuck," he mumbled as he looked around the place for Kellin—hoping to see him close by and he just didn't realize he started walking without him. When he couldn't find him, he sighed, stuffing his hands into his pockets.

Jesse was soooooo gonna kill him.

Kellin had walked off to the inside of the building they entered from. This was where the kitchen, bathrooms, and other different rooms that Kellin wasn't sure what was in them. If Vivian wasn't outside, then maybe she'd be in one of these rooms. One of these was bound to be a place where people could rest.

The music outside was drowned out by the noisy kitchen he walked past while heading for the closed doors they each had their own little signs—Restrooms, storage, etc.

But before he could make it past the bathrooms, one of the doors opened. Kellin stopped in his tracks before he could bump into Nicholas.

Instantly, the feeling of dread washed over him. Nicholas looked a bit confused at first before he recovered—there was a certain look in his eye that made Kellin weary. "You know, I didn't think you'd actually come," Nicholas hummed as he looked at himself in the mirror that was hanging on the wall opposite of the entrance to the bathroom.

He fixed his navy blue tie before running his hands through his curls. Nicholas glanced over at Kellin, "Then again, you are still weirdly obsessed with my husband but, it's a little too late, ya know? We're married so you can't stop it now."

Kellin scoffed, "What are you talking about? I'm not here for you or him, Vivian wanted me to come."

Nicholas laughed and shook his head before turning to face him. "You really gotta stop using her as an excuse, Kellin," Nicholas placed his hand on his heart, bottom lip jutting out, "She's a walking corpse and you're using her for your weird obsession, it's a new low even for you."

"I know it's been a while since you considered me your friend," Kellin started, glaring at him for the way he talked about Vivian. But he was trying to keep his cool here. He won't be here for long—he just needs to find Vivian first—so, there's no need to cause any problems, "But you know I'd do anything for the people I love, even if it means putting up with being here."

Nicholas snorted, "That's a fucking lie. You never supported my relationship with Vic."

"Why are you- What are you talking about?" Kellin asked shakily. He felt his nails dig into the skin on his wrists.

Nicholas tilted his head before letting out a soft laugh, "God, you know how stupid you looked that day?" Kellin stayed quiet. His eyes stinging while Nicholas looked at him with a cruel smile and giggling like he was enjoying this moment. "It was that same stupid look you had when you walked in on us in the studio. Weren't you going to celebrate moving into your house together that day?"

Kellin froze.

What? What is he talking about- That- Kellin's never seen them before in a studio? The first time he ever met Nicholas was at the reading table for their show. The first time he found out about Vic and him being together was on the set of that show? That didn't make sense that-

The memory hit him like a brick. Kellin never saw his face but he did see him. The guy Vic was kissing and laughing with in the recording room having the same curly hair Nicholas had but that- That wasn't damning? It could've been anyone but here Nicholas-

'He's just messing with you.'

But how did he know about the studio? Or that they were going to move in to their house that day?

Nicholas met Vic at the same party Gabe caught them making out in. He'd heard of Vic before mostly because he's in a band but because he had a bit of a reputation amongst other actors, models, singers, etc. That he was nice on the eyes and great in bed and- Well, Nicholas was curious.

He didn't know, at the time, that he was dating someone until one of his friend (but not really a friend) told him about Kellin after they had already hooked up. Nicholas would've felt bad had he cared enough. All he knew was that he was hooked and needed to see Vic again. And one thing led to another, Kellin caught them in the studio making out.

"I wish I could've seen your face," Nicholas laughed shoving him by his shoulder. All Kellin could do was stumble back, his tears running down his cheeks because he couldn't move. He was frozen there barely able to process that his ex-friend was this- This monster. "Especially in New York when you were screwing my husband and I was coming back but, I guess I had that one coming.

Nicholas shrugged, "You know the saying, you lose 'em how you got 'em." Kellin let out a sob, bringing his hand up to muffle the sound. Nicholas rolled his eyes, "Except the difference between me and you is that he begged me not to leave him."

"You're sick," Kellin finally said, shakily. He brought his hand down, balled both of them up into fists, "Why d-did you even become my f-friend if you knew-"

"I wanted to see what the big deal was, Vic was a little hung up on you after he broke up with you," Nicholas crossed his arms on top his chest, eyes trailing up and down on him, "Honestly, I don't get it. You're just a cry baby with a victim complex."

Kellin wanted to laugh if he could because what the fuck is his life? Only he'd get sucked back into his ex's life—multiple times—because his husband had this freak curiosity over him.

"A-And New York?"

"I guess I wanted to see if you were over him and that crush you had on Oli was real," Nicholas shrugged again and laughed, "And man, was I wrong. Poor man, he really loves you too."

The mention of Oli making Kellin's heart crumble.

Oli was right. Kellin knew that, that Oli was always right but for once he wanted him to be wrong. Just this one time because Kellin would rather experience being cheated on, getting kicked out, or losing contact with his parents over and over again than go through this. Losing a friend was a different type of heartbreak but finding out someone you loved as a friend was never your friend to begin with felt borderline insane. Kellin felt like he was going crazy.

Nicholas was never a friend. All those memories were fake because he's always hated Kellin. He never had his best interest in mind, didn't care if he pushed his boundaries, and was looking to hurt him. And he hit where it truly hurt him because Kellin would always hold his friendship to such an important status.

Nothing was more important to Kellin than his friendships.

"The w-wedding invite?"

Nicholas looked at Kellin with an amused smile. Looking and loving at the crushed look on Kellin's face. "Just to show you that he doesn't love you," Nicholas shrugged, "He never did. Probably only used you as a distraction from his dad dying. You were the only one around, the easiest to get."

Kellin wanted to throw up. He needed to leave because how can any of this even be real right now? Kellin felt like he was dreaming and in a few seconds he'd wake up from this nightmare. Vic being screwed in the head he could take, he'd gotten used to that. Has been able to move on from that slowly but surely. But Nicholas?

"Well, this was nice," The way Nicholas' tone changed scared the living hell out of Kellin. It reverted back to that sweet and kind voice he was used to hearing but now it sounded fake and evil. He smoothed out his suit jacket before looking over Kellin again and let out a soft snort, "Stay if you'd like, a lot of singles out there that just love giving pathetic things like you attention. Or maybe go back to Oli... he's just as pathetic as you."

And then he was gone. Leaving Kellin standing there broken and empty.

✘

By the time Jesse and Denis found Kellin, he was already a mess.

They found him on the floor, sobbing into his hands and trembling. Immediately they freaked out and went to comfort and help him, trying to ask him what was wrong or what happened. But Kellin couldn't stop crying. Any time he tried to get a word out he'd end up crying harder.

He didn't think anything could hurt more than being cheated on. This wasn't even about Vic anymore because he's come to terms that he was a terrible person. Even before Nicholas, he had cheated on him with who knows how many people. Kellin only caught him with Nicholas the last time thanks to Gabe. But now? Now it was another betrayal but from Nicholas himself.

The person he once considered to be one of his closest friends turned out to be just as terrible as Vic.

Kellin didn't even know how he got into the car or when they started driving back to his place. He couldn't keep his breathing stable or his tears at bay and it made him feel terrible. Even in this distraught state he could see how concerned Jesse and Denis were. He felt terrible.

'Here you go again.'

'Being a terrible friend.'

'They need to get away from you too'

"Kells," Denis voice was gentle. He was sitting in the passenger seat while Jesse was driving. Kellin was in the backseat and he watched as Denis handed him his phone, "It's Oli."

Kellin wanted to push the phone away. Not because he didn't want to talk to Oli. He needed him now more than anything but he felt shame creep into him. Because Oli warned him so many times to be cautious about them. To stay away and to not give in to Vivian's every request and Kellin just wouldn't fucking listen. He didn't deserve to hear any of his comforting words but it also broke his heart to push the phone away.

So, he grabbed the phone with his shaky hand and brought it up to his ear just as he sniffled.

"Love?"

Kellin let out another sob and immediately it was like his brain finally connected with his mouth again. "I'm s-sorry," he sobbed, "I'm s-so sorry Oli, I-"

"Kells, baby, please don't cry," Oli's came in soft—Kellin could hear the pain in his voice and that made him cry more because of course Oli's hurt. Kellin just couldn't stop hurting him. He's always going to hurt him. Kellin's not good for him. He's didn't deserve him.

'Of course he's hurt, you're always hurting him.'

'You're just as terrible as them.'

"Stop apologizing," Oli pleaded and Kellin only just now realized that he couldn't stop saying sorry. He was practically chanting it, "I'm heading to your place right now, okay?"

"O-Okay," Kellin sniffled, his hand coming up to scratch at the wrist that was holding up the phone.

"Jesse and Denis are taking you home right now," Oli continued, "I love you, okay? You're going to be okay and we're going to talk about what happened." Kellin just listened numbly, nodding along as if Oli could see him.

"Love?"

"I'm sorry," Kellin whispered, shutting his eyes, tilting his head back against the seat as more tears continued to spill. His heart felt heavy and he doesn't understand why Oli hasn't told him off yet.

"I know," Oli said, "I'm sorry too. I should've- Fuck. I should've been there with you b-but I'm on my way home. I have to hang up now but I'll be there soon, okay?"

"Y-Yeah," Kellin whimpered.

"I love you."

Kellin wanted to say it back.

✘

Kellin got to his apartment a couple of minutes after Oli hung up.

Jesse and Denis came up with him because they were scared he might do something reckless. Well, Denis trusted him to not do anything too drastic at least. Jesse was a little more cautious since he's seen Kellin at his worst multiple times and- To be frank, this one felt just as bad as the first few times Kellin hurt himself.

They sat Kellin on his couch and tried to ask what happened but he just couldn't get the words out. It was like his brain disconnected from his mouth again even though he wanted to say something. Anything. An apology for one because he dragged them into this. For being a terrible friend and for never listening or learning his lesson or-

Oli still wasn't here. It dawned on him when he glanced over at Jesse and Denis who kept looking at their phones. How long had it been since Oli called him? An hour? Two? More than that? Kellin felt that suffocating feeling in his chest again when he'd catch them sending a quick texts. What happened? Why wasn't Oli here yet? He's supposed to be here already, right?

Did he finally realize Kellin just wasn't worth it?

He wouldn't blame him. Look at the mess he put himself in again? Even after everything he's experience and knows now, Kellin was still the same damn people pleaser. The one who always puts everyone ahead of him even if it fucked him over. Oli deserves someone better than whatever he was. Oli was right to leave him. To realize he wasn't the one for him, that he wasn't-

Kellin's phone started ringing.

He flinched, being pulled out of his thoughts, before he searched for his pockets for his phone. Kellin looked down at the screen at the unknown number and frowned. Usually he wouldn't answer unknown numbers. Most of them being telemarketers, scams, or the occasional scary fan that somehow got his number. But something in his chest was tugging at his heart to answer it.

He sniffled softly, wiped some of his tears, and cleared his throat, "U-Um, hello?"

"Hello," the voice said on the phone, "Is this Kellin Quinn?"

"Uh, y-yes, yes this is he," Kellin stuttered out feeling an uneasy feeling settling in his chest.

"I'm calling from the Los Angeles General Medical Center," Kellin felt his heart drop, "You're listed as Oliver Sykes's emergency contact. He's been in an accident..."

No. Kellin's life never wants to give him a break.

✘

a/n;

Omg heyyyyyyy. Ima be real... you read what just happened so ima just let y'all sit with that :)

So... thoughts and concerns about anything and everything are always welcomed! :D Thanks for reading!

Stay safe and take care 💜