Best Friend
1:05 ───|────── 2:29
|◁ II ▷|

✘

Otto jumped onto Kellin's lap with a soft 'mrow.' He stuck his tongue out and opened his mouth several times before rubbing his head on Kellin's extended hand, purring loudly. Kellin giggled, running his fingers through the soft fur. He just finished eating after bolting off his cat tower when his feeder went off, giving him his dinner. Otto munched happily on his food before he made his way over to Kellin with a full belly and a pep in his step.

Dinner sounded good right now. Kellin should have that.

He was lazing around on his couch, a half-empty bowl of popcorn on the coffee table, while the tv was on playing Hannah Montana: The Movie. One of his all time favorite movies that was currently showing the pop star pulling off her wig while trying to leave the building with the sad music playing loudly. That poor little girl, Kellin probably would've been more confused than devastated.

It was Friday.

Friday could usually mean a few different things to Kellin. While on tour, evidently that's a concert night. Band practice from early hours of the day, eating at a new restaurant, and exploring the night life in the city they were in. Or it could mean date night. Plain and simple. But, Fridays aren't exclusive to date nights anymore—they've recently been having dates any day they deem fit.

Though, the actual planned dates were mostly on Fridays.

Fridays could also mean late-night studio sessions Kellin would have with the band. Which were starting to become more frequent since they've been working on the new record after they finished touring. But, it has been a little bit since they've done that. Kellin canceled this time around.

He still couldn't face his bandmates after coming home from Mexico a week ago. Aside from Justin since he did get him a keychain like he asked for. He and Gabe still weren't talking either, which was annoying for both parties. Their bandmates suffer because they know they aren't angry at each other anymore.

They just won't talk to each other because Gabe felt bad for snapping in the way he did even if he was right and Kellin felt ashamed over his decisions but was still a little upset that Gabe said he was using Vivian as an excuse. Ashamed was a strong word... more like he knows Gabe doesn't like them and he feels bad because he doesn't want to make Gabe angry. Besides the point, it'll pass. It always does.

Fridays—when the other options aren't the plan of the day—are rerun nights. Kellin guesses they could count as dates. But he thinks at this point it's just part of the Friday routine.

Fridays went like this: Oli would get off work and come over—or go home if Kellin told him beforehand that he was at Oli's apartment—and find Kellin either napping, scribbling lyrics into a notebook if he suddenly had inspiration, or lazing around destressing from the day.

They'd kiss and greet each other before they would go onto Oli's "favorite" part of the night—picking a place to order from. Sometimes Kellin knows exactly what he wants. Other times he'd spend at least an hour or two trying to decide what he was in the mood for. Kellin has to pick because Oli refuses to be the target of one Kellin's sad faces because he wasn't satisfied with Oli's choice.

And it has to be ordered in. No cooking. Oli wasn't allowed to cook for them on Fridays, even if he really wanted to.

It's the rule!

After deciding what to eat, they'd do the same thing but with picking what movie to watch for the night. Again, it has to be something at least one of them has seen before. No new movie. No movie with Chris Pratt unless it's a Marvel one, Jennifer's Body, or Bride Wars. They'd pick at least two or three movies for the night just in case. They also would take turns on who gets to pick, tonight was Kellin's turn. Then they'd spend the rest of the night eating on the couch.

That's what tonight was supposed to be but Oliver wasn't here. Does that mean Kellin's turn isn't actually until next Friday? He should ask Oli about that when he comes home.

Oli was currently on a business trip in Las Vegas. He was there to see the space the restaurant was going to be in and the progress they've made. Oli also had multiple meetings for special menus, themes, etc, etc. Kellin didn't go. Mostly because he knew Oli would be too busy to spend time with him and Kellin didn't want to bother him.

Also, Kellin wasn't the biggest fan of being in Vegas. If he ended up getting too bored he'd end up in the casinos and that probably isn't the best idea for him and his pockets.

He didn't have a gambling addiction but he could have one out of boredom. It's happened before. His band mates would never let him live that down even though it's been years since that tour.

Besides the point, Oli was gone and Kellin was sad. And Sad = comfort movie time.

It's only been a couple days, he'd be back tomorrow and Kellin was definitely being dramatic but, still. Kellin misses him and rerun nights feel odd without Oli. It was already out of the usual schedule because Kellin picked the movie first and he hasn't picked what to eat for dinner.

"What should we order Otto?" Kellin asked as he grabbed his phone to pull up the DoorDash app. Otto let out a meow and started to make biscuits on Kellin's chest. Kellin huffed softly at the pressure of Otto's paws—seriously how can something so tiny feel that heavy on him—but continued to scroll through the countless restaurants he could order from.

Would it be sad if he ordered in from Oli's restaurant-

Knock. Knock.

Kellin sighed loudly, dropping his phone onto the couch next to him before looking down at Otto was still comfortably making biscuits on his chest. He gave him a small frown, scratching behind Otto's ear, "Sorry baby, I have to get the door." Otto, evidently, not understanding what he was saying just continued to push his paws against him before letting out a soft yelp when Kellin picked him up and placed him on the couch.

Forgetting the betrayal, rather quickly, Otto hopped off the couch and followed after Kellin as he made his way to the door. As he reached it the knocking got louder, making him frown—who the hell is that?—and open the door. Kellin wasn't surprised by who stood outside his door, knocking like they were the damn cops.

Outside his door, Jesse and Denis were standing with the biggest grins on their faces with bags of- Really delicious smelling food. Was that Chinese food? Kellin would've let his mouth watered if he weren't a little annoyed at Jesse who knocked on the wall next to the door even after Kellin opened the door.

"Why are you knocking like you own the place?" Kellin asked with a glare.

"Hi, Kells!" Jesse greeted with a big smile, pushing past him and ignoring his question, "It's so good to see you too."

It's been a while since Kellin's been able to hang out with his friends like this. With Andy being gone, filming one of his next big movies outside of the country, Jesse also touring and working on new music like Kellin is, they don't really get the chance to. It's been a long time since they all had a day where they just ate and talked about everything and anything. They're still missing Andy but this is the closest they've gotten to that.

The last time they were all together was before Kellin left for the recent tour he just finished.

And, okay, maybe Oli texted them to go check on Kellin because today was Friday. And Fridays were supposed to be fun nights and not a night of solitude which he knew fully well Kellin would end up doing. Granted, they would've gone to hang out with Kellin days ago had they known Oli was off on a business trip but Jesse was a little busy with filming a music video and Denis just came back home from another trip with his friend.

But that didn't matter because now they were here and they were going to make sure they had a damn good time. Maybe a little gossip since it's been a minute since they've had a session like that.

"Otto!" Denis grinned and scooped the kitty—who let out a squeak—up into his arms when he walked in, "I've missed you so much buddy." Kellin huffed, closing the door, and walked over to the island in the kitchen, sitting on one of the stools while Jesse took food containers out of the bag.

"And where have you been?" Kellin asked, turning to look at Denis was too busy cooing at Otto to come help Jesse, "You've MIA for like a month."

"He's too good for us all of a sudden," Jesse chuckled, "Now that he has ultra famous friends."

"Aw, you guys missed me?" Denis grinned as he put Otto back down so he could scamper off to his cat tree. He took a seat on the barstool next to Kellin, "Also you guys are famous too, what are you talking about?"

"Apparently not the right type of famous," Kellin shrugged and grabbed a plastic fork from the bag. They brought over Chinese food from a local spot Jesse swears by. "So," Kellin started, "Where'd they whisk you away so I can one-up them next time."

Denis rolled his eyes, and chuckled, "I just went to a couple of music festivals around the state, my friend- Who I knew before he was managing these famous people by the way, invited me to tag along with him."

"I thought you went out of the country without service, you were ignoring my texts," Jesse scoffed making Kellin giggle, "You were just at music festivals!?"

Denis sighed loudly, reaching over for Jesse's hands only for him to yank them away. Kellin snorted. "C'mon Jess, you know I missed you the most," Denis fluttered his lashes at him and Kellin ended shoving him by his shoulder. Denis almost slipped off his seat, "Hey!"

"Fuck you, you didn't miss me?"

"Anyway," Denis reached for one of the containers of food instead and opted for the chopsticks, "I wasn't even gone that long. Kellin has been gone longer than I have before.

"Again, fuck you," Kellin shoved a piece of orange chicken into his mouth, "I was on tour, you were cheating on us."

"Technically, I cheated on him," Denis hummed as he started eating, "I've known him longer."

"How long?"

"He used to be my neighbor when I was a kid," Denis muffled since he shoved a large chunk of chowmein into his mouth. He swallowed his food before pointing at Kellin, "Speaking of disappearing, how was Mexico? Heard you made another silly little decision while I was gone."

"You weren't gone you were ignoring us," Kellin rolled his eyes as he slid off his seat and went over to his fridge to grab a drink, "And way to change the subject, why don't you wanna talk about your friends? What's all this secrecy about?"

"Actually," Jesse said as he extended out his hand towards Kellin, silently asking for a drink, "I also want to hear how the Mexico trip went." Jesse pouted when Kellin flipped him off, "Not well, then?"

Kellin sighed a little and grabbed drinks for all three of them before making his way back to his seat. The trip was... it wasn't as terrible as they probably thought it was. It was just something that happened and Kellin and Oli tried to make it as bearable for themselves as possible.

And it was! Sort of...

"It went okay," Kellin shrugged, "We went to a bar mom used to go with her husband, visited the cemetery and-"

"Excuse me," Denis interrupted, making Kellin glare at him instantly, "Why the fuck did you go to another country to visit a grave? I thought this was supposed to be a weird fun and fucked up family vacation?"

"That's what you get for not being here," Kellin stuck his tongue out at him, "You don't get to know the whole thing."

Denis blinked before turning to Jesse.

"It was the anniversary of Vic's dad dying," Jesse explained after grabbing an egg roll from the bag, "That's why they went. Vivian wanted to visit one last time with them."

"That's morbid."

"Moving on," Kellin huffed, glaring at Jesse who only shrugged. He has a love hate relationship with how Denis was able to fit in well with them at the moment. "We went to a bar when we got there, then to the grave the next day, then we left the day after that."

"So nothing happened?" Jesse arched his eyebrow at him, "Vic didn't throw a hissy fit? Nico didn't make weird comments? Oli didn't fight Vic like I so desperately want him to?"

"I can't believe he hasn't fought him," Denis tsk'd, "I've been wanting to fight Vic since I've met him."

"That's a lie," Kellin laughed. "Why didn't you when you saw him then?" Kellin asked with an arched eyebrow, looking over at him.

"Well, I wasn't going to fight him in front of his mom. That's disrespectful."

Kellin rolled his eyes and laughed softly, "But no, Oli didn't fight him."

"Oli wouldn't fight him," Jesse shrugged, "He's not violent, also didn't he just get hit by a car-"

"Hit by a-" Denis started before sighing, sinking into his chair, "I'm never leaving you guys again, why do I always miss all the cool and exciting stuff."

"Cool and exciting?" Jesse questioned him with a frown.

"He didn't get hit by a car!" Kellin exclaimed, throwing a bunched up napkin at Jesse. He turned to Denis and said, "He almost got hit by a car. I was teaching him how to skateboard in his building's parking garage and he fell while a car was coming."

"Did you end up convincing him to go to the hospital?" Jesse grinned as he took a sip of his drink.

After Oli fell, he tried not make it a big deal even though Kellin saw that his right arm was hurting. He tried convincing Kellin that he was fine and there was nothing to worry about. But Kellin wouldn't have it.

"Pick me up then."

"What?" Oli laughed but Kellin was being deadly serious. He stood in front of him with his arms crossed, waiting for Oli to pick him up.

"Pick me up, right now since your arm doesn't hurt."

Oli did, but not like he usually did. He wrapped his left arm around Kellin and hiked him up against him awkwardly. Evidently, Kellin dragged his ass to the hospital right after. Thankfully it wasn't anything too serious. It was a mild shoulder sprain from landing on it hard. The doctor told him not to do anything too strenuous and it should be all healed up in—at least—two weeks.

Oli got some pain meds and an arm sling that he only used once. But his shoulder healed which Kellin was thankful for. He still felt terrible over it.

"Of course I did," Kellin scoffed. Denis and Jesse gave each other a look and tried not to laugh at their friend, "Anyway... Oli didn't fight him."

"But something did happen?" Denis asked. He could tell Kellin was trying to hold back from actually talking about whatever happened in Mexico. It was that same look he had the day Denis went with him to visit Vivian and Nicholas said some fucked up things to him.

"I guess," Kellin shrugged. He didn't want to talk about the fact that he helped Vic go to his dad's grave. And how he let him cry on his shoulder or comforted him even though Kellin hated every second of it. And Nicholas- "Oli and Nicholas got into an argument-"

"Shut up!" Jesse instantly said, slamming his drink down onto the counter, "About what? What happened? What did Nicholas do?"

Kellin sunk in his chair, gnawing on his bottom lip, and poking at his food with the fork. He felt that familiar shame and dread he got when he had to tell his band about Vivian asking him to tag along to Mexico with them. Jesse and Denis waited patiently, as they always did with their poor friend. "I sort of," Kellin mumbled, "Comforted Vic because he was having a breakdown in front of his dad's grave..."

Kellin waited for them to give him a lecture over it. To tell him he was dumb for even being kind to Vic. He was ready for it, to be made to feel dumb. He waited. And waited. And-

"Oh, so he was jealous?" Denis asked before letting out a small silly giggle Kellin has never heard come out of him before, "He got mad and? Did he throw a hissy fit and Oli told him to shut up?"

"According to Oli, he almost yanked me away after Vic hugged me," Kellin muttered with a shrug. He felt a little shocked that they didn't say anything about Kellin comforting Vic but he might as well not put any focus on it if they weren't. "Oli pulled him aside and they got into it and..."

"And?" Jesse prompted, immediately invested and hoping Oli told Nicholas off. He understood why he could have been angry since- Jesse pushed the thought away. But, Jesse doesn't like Nicholas anymore, especially after all the shit Denis told him that he said to Kellin. Especially what he's heard about him through Andy and how he's been since Vic cheated on him with Kellin.

"Well, this wasn't part of the fight necessarily but... And I'm not sure if I heard right but Oli... I think he called me his boyfriend?"

Kellin was blushing at that point. He could hear them arguing but couldn't hear a damn thing they were saying exactly. Vic had been clinging to him and crying into his shoulder—so he couldn't understand anything—but out all of what was said, Oli said loud and clear enough that Kellin was his boyfriend. In that split second Kellin felt his heart immediately start pounding in chest and his cheeks heat up.

Boyfriend. Oli called him his boyfriend. He knew it was silly how he focused solely on that as if they haven't been together for two years already. But they've never made it official—because Kellin needed time—and they don't call each other boyfriends. Even though other people call them that. They don't- They haven't talked about it in a while.

What labels they wanted to use. Or what that meant for them or what they meant for each other.

"Okay...?" Denis furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, "Fork found in kitchen? What's the big deal?"

Jesse started laughing, it made Kellin pout and his blush started to grow even more. "W-Well, he's never called me his b-boyfriend before!" Kellin stuttered out, "Me? His b-boyfriend? I'm his boyfriend?"

Kellin's spiral made Denis and Jesse giggle even more. They weren't laughing at Kellin. They were laughing over how silly he was being over this. Of course Oli sees him as his boyfriend. Why wouldn't he? They are boyfriends but it's just Kellin doesn't see it like that yet. Because of- Wait why? Oh, because he thinks he'll hurt Oli.

Even though they all knew—even Kellin knew—at this point, two years later, that isn't happening. It would never happen. Kellin was head over heels in love with Oli but he's just...

He just needs to come to terms with that on his own. Evidently, he still hasn't processed it yet even after telling him in San Diego.

'He was asleep that doesn't count.'

But Oli always refers to Kellin as his boyfriend, just not in front of Kellin because they haven't officially had that talk yet. Oli was waiting for Kellin to bring it up because he didn't want to scare him off.

"Kells," Jesse said with a grin, "I don't know how else to say this but... Oli is your boyfriend."

"B-But we haven't-"

Denis placed his hand on Kellin's shoulders, stopping him from going on another stuttering spiral, "Kells. Babe, you've been dating for two years."

"He's told you he loves you," Jesse added.

"You guys practically live with each other," Denis continued before taking his hand off Kellin's shoulder and pointed over to where Otto was—still on his cat tower watching the city lights slowly start to turn on, "You guys own a cat together."

Okay. Okay maybe they are boyfriends. Maybe they have been dating and- Oli really loves him. Like really really loves him and he shows him every day. By sticking with him in everything because he knows Kellin just needs to get through it to be okay. He cooks for him. Oli visits him after work even if he's dead tired and needs to wake up early the next day anyway. He still makes time for Kellin, always.

Or when he calls and texts at least once a day because Oli misses him and he knows Kellin misses him too. And- And they go on dates— a lot more frequently too and they're always romantic. That's what boyfriends do, right? People who are in a relationship do that, right?

His brain processed everything he knew already but just in a different light all at once. And it- wow did it hit him hard. Made his heart swoon and pound against his chest he's scared it'll jump out of his chest and ruin their food. His brain was running and Kellin-

Well, Kellin loves him. He's come to terms with that already. But that's-

"I told him I love him."

"And you're wondering if you're boyfriends-" Denis started before Jesse shushed him with wide eyes.

"You what!?" Jesse slammed his hand against the counter this time. It made Kellin jump in his seat, Jesse mostly did it because he could see the gears turning in Kellin's head, the panicky look in his eyes, and that usually means he was heading into a spiral. And, well, Oli won't be happy that they sent his boyfriend down a possible terrible road.

Commitment and Kellin aren't a good mix after Vic.

Relationships are scary and they usually meant trusting a person with something so important of yours. Your heart, something so fragile and easy to break. Kellin trusted someone with it and that ended up in flames. It wasn't that he thought Oli was the same or it'll be the same but it's just- hard? No it isn't hard to love and trust Oli.

'Then why haven't you talked to him about?'

'Oh! Because you're leading him-'

Jesse interrupted his thoughts from overwhelming him more than he already did. "When did this happen?" Jesse demanded, a wild look in his shiny eyes, "And why didn't you tell me?"

Kellin blushed again recalling the night he told Oli he loved him. It just came out of nowhere. He just felt it, overwhelming and filling him to the brim with warmth and it just came out. So easily and- Jesus why was it so hard to say it to his face then?

"Well, I didn't- I didn't say it to..." Kellin trailed off when Jesse's face contorted into a confused expression, "...to his face."

"This is fucking gold," Denis said with a big smile on his face. Of course Kellin didn't say it to Oli's face, Oli would've been bouncing off the walls if he did. They would've heard about it the day after it happened.

"Wait," Jesse said and pointed at Denis, "Shut up." Denis held his hands up but couldn't stop the tiny chuckles that slipped past his lips, "What do you mean you didn't say it his face?"

Kellin was sure he looked like a tomato at this point. He felt embarrassed having to explain that he couldn't even tell Oli he loved him when he was awake. Like, who does that? Frustration started to bubble in his chest but he buried it because he couldn't do anything about it now. Plus the overwhelming feeling of embarrassment was kicking the frustrations ass.

Well, he could do something but that would be crazy... He was not telling Oli he loved him over text or by calling him. That felt cruel.

"Hewasasleep," Kellin muttered out quickly and Jesse frown because he didn't hear what he said. Even Denis didn't hear it and he was sitting directly next to Kellin.

"What?"

"He was asleep!" Kellin shouted before covering his face with his hands. Denis immediately busted out laughing and Kellin groaned, burying his face into his hands even more, voice coming out muffled, "W-We were in San Diego, in bed, and- And I said it! But he was asleep and I'm stupid because why would I do that!?"

What was wrong with him? Genuinely, he couldn't come up with a reason why he couldn't say it out loud directly to Oli's face. Kellin feels it, he knows it's real, and he knows Oli feels the same. That's how it's supposed to work! You feel love for someone then you should tell them.

Denis sobered up from his laughter and looked at him with an endeared smile on his face. Jesse smiled softly at him and walked around the island over to the side they were sitting on. He stood next to Kellin, wrapping a comforting arm around his shoulder, "Kells."

"What?" Kellin whined against his hands before Denis pulled them away from his face. He continued to have a pout on his lips and his eyes casted down to the forgotten Chinese food they were eating.

"As much as we joke and think you're a little dumb sometimes," Jesse started, "You know why it's taken this long. You were scared and rightfully so because relationships are fucking scary."

"It's true," Denis leaned against the counter, placing his chin on his hand, "Why do you think I'm single? Dating sucks and people suck even more."

"You're single because you don't put yourself out there," Jesse pointed out, "But this isn't about him. Kells, my sweet and dumb friend, you've been scared of giving your heart to someone else for years because no one ever deserved it. Definitely not the one who first broke it but, Oli isn't Vic.

"Oli loves you so much," Jesse squeezed his shoulder, "You know that. You finally found someone that'll love all of you and who would cherish you the way you deserve to be."

"I know," Kellin said shakily feeling butterflies start to flutter in his tummy. That was easy to admit. So so easy because it was true, "Why didn't you guys tell me this sooner?"

"We tried," Denis laughed, "You're stubborn as fuck. We've been saying this for two years."

"More like five years," Jesse huffed, "You weren't here when they met the first time. It was disgusting if it wasn't for this one being scared to love or be with someone again, they probably would've been fuc-"

"Jesse!" Kellin shoved him off him, glaring playfully at his friends, "He was not in love with me since then, shut up."

"I believe it," Denis shrugged, "Oli looks at you like he was born to love you and he was just waiting for you to show up."

"And you did," Jesse beamed, "But then you ended up being scared of love so that probably wasn't fun for him."

"Oh my god," Kellin groaned, shoving his face in to his hands again, "Please shut up." The two of them giggled at him again, "...I have to tell him."

"God, please," Denis huffed as he grabbed a room-temp egg roll from the bag and took a bite out of him, "I can't take this weird ass relationship anymore."

"First get the boyfriend conversation out of the way," Jesse suggested, "When you told us you "told him" you loved him, you looked like you were going to throw up."

"Or, do it and hope you don't throw up your dinner," Denis grinned, "Either way Oli's going to think he won the lottery. Vomit included or not."

Kellin felt so lucky. So damn lucky not only for Oli and how understanding he was but he felt lucky because of the friends he had. They always knew how to call Kellin out on his shit or tell him the things he needed to hear. Because they always did it when they knew he was ready to hear it.

And maybe it takes him a bit to get there and to actually listen to them but he always does in the end.

His friends were patient with him and they cared so damn much. Kellin really couldn't imagine a life without them. He felt a soft pang in his heart, he needed to meet up with his band soon. Hanging out with Jesse and Denis, two of his best friends, reminded him of how much he just needs this even during the times he didn't like hearing what they had to say.

Kellin misses the rest of his best friends.

✘

The next day Kellin went to go visit Vivian early in the day.

She was having one of her bad days again. It made Kellin's heart ache because he's afraid that they're running out of days with her faster than they expected. She looked and sounded weaker even though she tried to keep that bright smile on her face. The visit left Kellin sadder than he's felt in a while with a heavy heart and an envelop in his hand that felt ten times heavier.

His name was in cursive writing on the envelope with a single sheet of cardstock inside it. Vivian had given it to him after he made her eat breakfast—she didn't get up all day let alone even attempt to find the energy to go eat. She insisted on him opening right then and there.

Kellin was curious. He didn't know what the envelope could hold but he wished he wouldn't have opened it. Truth be told he shouldn't have gone to visit her today because maybe he could've avoided it. Right? That was always a chance. But no, no he just had to go see her today. Something tugging at his heart and it screamed at him to go.

When he opened the envelope and pulled out the card, his heart sank immediately. Kellin couldn't quite describe the feeling that washed over him besides dread. The only feeling he's come familiar with since this entire thing has started. But it felt worse than that. It felt like he was suffocating again and this time a chain was attached to his ankle, dragging him deeper and deeper into the water till he couldn't see a single sliver of light.

The pressure settled on his chest and he felt like he couldn't breathe. Because of course this was coming. The day he was hoping to avoid because he knew he would be convinced to go. He gripped onto the card, staring down at it as he read over the information. Again and again.

It was happening a little under month from now.

A month from now they'd be married and Kellin- Kellin didn't care. He didn't care at all actually. He just cared that he was invited and had to go because Vivian looked at him with those hopeful eyes after Kellin looked up from the card at her. Kellin choked on the no, it wasn't able to come up and leave his mouth. He didn't want to go. He didn't want to go. He couldn't go.

He didn't say anything for a second. Only numbly listening to Vivian tell him in her own tired excitement over how happy she is that they all can get along now. That Nicholas really wanted Kellin there and that Vic was excited to turn over a new leaf. Start anew.

Vic didn't say that. Kellin knew deep down he couldn't have said any of that especially after that trip to his dad's grave. Where he cried on his shoulder and immediately pretended like nothing happened when Nicholas walked over with a glare. What was going through their head? Whose idea even was this to invite him?

It couldn't have been Vic. Nicholas hated him but Kellin wouldn't past him. But maybe, maybe there was that small bit of hope in Kellin that makes him think that Nicholas couldn't be so cruel. Maybe Vivian convince them to invite him? No... he doesn't think- She wouldn't overstep like that.

But she did invite him to the trip to Mexico. That's different. That was completely different that was-

Kellin shouldn't have gone today.

'It was good you went.'

Shut up. Shut up, please.

'She probably wouldn't have eaten anything all day.'

'Do you want her to starve? What's wrong with you?'

Shut. Up.

'Of course you do. You want her gone already because the quicker she dies the sooner you can get away from them right?'

'You want her to die you sick bastard-'

Shut up!

Kellin took in a shaky breath, holding onto his steering wheel tightly as he stared at the concrete wall in front of him. He was in his parking garage now, not sure how or when he even got there.

What did he say to Vivian? Did he say yes? Why can't he remember what happened since he opened the invitation? It was as if he completely blacked out and had been on auto-pilot till now.

The envelop felt heavy in his hand when he got out of his car. Practically burned in his hand while he waited in the elevator to reach his floor. Kellin's hands were itching to shred the stupid invitation into pieces by the time he reached his door.

He needed to call Jesse. Or Denis. Or. Or. He didn't even know who to talk to about this because why was he having a hard time saying no to Vivian? This shouldn't be hard. The trip to Mexico was supposed to be the last time he was going to give into something crazy like this.

That's how it worked right? Give in once and never again?

'No, you idiot.'

Please stop.

'You gave into Vic once in New York then look what happened?'

Stop. Stop. Stop.

Kellin couldn't breathe. He swallowed thickly and shoved the envelop into his back pocket before grabbing his keys. With shaky hands he put his key into the lock and- Why wasn't he crying? Or even having a panic attack outside of his door?

It was there. Waiting. The pressure growing but he wasn't- Kellin just felt like he couldn't breathe but he was. It wasn't hard it was just- Teetering. Waiting. Claws slowly reaching out to him to pull him under. Kellin was going to blow up and-

Kellin opened his door and walked into his apartment. Before he can take another step, he looked over to his kitchen and his eyes widened. The pressure slowly disappeared, the panic dissolved, and he could see the light again. He could feel the fresh air running through him and-

"Oli?" Kellin said softly and Oli—who was standing in his kitchen—holding a knife and chopping who knows what because of course he was cooking. He was making them food for when Kellin came home and they could eat together. Oli, who was smiling at him once he looked over at him, with the big charming one, his pretty teeth on full display making Kellin's heart melt every time.

"Love," Oli placed the knife down and wiped his hands on his apron, "I thought you weren't going to be home till later-"

Oli let out a soft huffed when Kellin practically ran over to him and threw himself against him. Kellin placed his hand on the back of his neck, pulling him down to kiss him. Oli groaned softly against his lips, feeling himself stumble forward a little, before his brain caught up and he kissed Kellin back.

Kellin's brain went into overdrive. Last night's conversation shoving itself front and center in Kellin's mind. Oli loved Kellin. Oli was his boyfriend. He was Kellin's boyfriend and just as importantly, Kellin fucking loved Oli.

'I love you Oliver Sykes. I love you so much.'

What was he worried about again?

"Hi," Kellin breathed out with a smile after he pulled away, "I thought you were going to be at the restaurant?"

He shrugged with a grin on his face, leaning his forehead against his, "It could wait. I missed you so much."

"I did too," Kellin said before leaning back up to kiss him again. Oli's grip on his hips tightened as Kellin laced his fingers into his hair, to keep him there.

'I love you. God, I love you I really do.'

After a beat, Oli pulled away with a shy smile on his face. He stepped back for a second, removing his apron and draping it over the counter. "I think I'll go in tomorrow," Oli hands went back to grab him, moving down to the back of Kellin's thighs before lifting him up. Kellin giggled, wrapping his legs around his waist, "They can go another day without me."

'I love you so so much.'

Kellin's eyes sparkled as Oli started walking towards and up the stairs to his bedroom, "You sure?"

"100%," Oli assured him, wolffish grin on his face, "Plus, I can't go another day without you." Kellin's heart swooped inside his chest and he rolled his eyes playfully, leaning in to kiss him again.

For the rest of the day, at least, he could pretend the envelope that was burning in his pocket didn't exist. Because right now, god right now he didn't want to think about anything else but Oli.

Oli—the man Kellin was head over heels with because he was fresh air. He was light. He was home. He was Kellin's home and he couldn't wait to tell him that.

✘

a/n;

Let's pretend I updated this on Wednesday okay? Okay cool :)

But wow wow look at Kellin go. He's actually saying these things out loud so proud. Maybe soon he'll actually say this stuff to the person he needs to tell :D

Loved writing lil friendship chapters especially with those three dummies 😔 hope you enjoyed seeing Jesse, Denis, and Kells hanging out and poking fun at each other!

Anyway, let me know what you think! Every thought and concern is appreciated <3

Thanks for reading! Stay safe and take care 💜