"have courage and be kind"

*

Eva frowned at her reflection in the mirror, turning this way and that, trying to determine if her burgundy robes looked any different this year. They were undeniably tighter around the waist and bust. She sighed. And I'm only six weeks along. No bump yet, just bulge. How long would it take for others to notice? Soon enough, she'd switch to looser robes, but she preferred her usual ones and opted to wear them as long as possible.

With a sigh, she pulled her short blonde curls into a ponytail and checked the mirror once more. The rings remained on her hands where they belonged, and her wand was tucked behind her ear. Between her anxiety at being back at Hogwarts with such a massive secret, three trips to the bathroom to throw up, and sleeping away from Sirius for the first time in months, she'd hardly gotten any rest the night before. She hardly ever bothered with makeup, but it fixed the paleness of her skin and covered the dark circles under her eyes. 

Despite her worrying, her green eyes sparkled. It was going to be quite the year. There would be all sorts of distractions. It would be just what she needed.

With a newfound spring in her step, Eva left her office and hurried down to the Great Hall for the feast. By now, first years would be sailing across the Black Lake in the boat with Hagrid while the older students would be traversing the rainy grounds in the carriages.

Even though she felt silly, Eva practically inched down the moving staircases. Her track record wasn't in her favor. The stairs tended to win.

In the Great Hall, the professors had already begun to take their places at the staff table. Eva hugged McGonagall, who brightened when she saw her.

"Welcome home," she whispered into Eva's ear before they separated and took their seats. "How was your holiday, Professor?"

You have no idea.

"Eventful." Eva was absolutely bursting to tell her about the baby, but knew that it was too soon. It was better to hold out as long as she could manage. "Yours?"

"Quiet and relaxing. Nothing like it is here, I'm afraid." McGonagall smiled and straightened her hat. "This year will be the opposite of quiet and relaxing, I suppose."

You have no idea.

"I'm starting to doubt that 'quiet and relaxing' years exist."

"When did you attain wisdom?" McGonagall shook her head. "Sometimes I still see you as a first-year with two braids and a habit of keeping mischievous company, but here you are, teaching alongside me."

Eva smiled and poured herself a goblet of pumpkin juice. "We all grew up too fast." A brief moment of silence settled between them, so Eva broke the ice. "I think we'll have some fun this year, though."

"You do know that Quidditch will be canceled this year."

"At least Oliver graduated already," Eva laughed, imagining her ex-student attending Hogwarts in a year without his single passion. That boy ate, slept, and breathed Quidditch. She would miss having him around, pouring over strategy in her office.

"Yes. Mr. Wood certainly would have been miserable in a year like this one." A smile twitched on the old professor's lips. "But I believe everyone else will enjoy it."

McGonagall left to fetch the Sorting Hat, so Eva glanced around the Great Hall. She waved to Hagrid, who waved back enthusiastically. He was another it would be difficult keeping the secret from. Professor Sprout and Madam Hooch both swept her up in tight embraces. Professor Dumbledore paused to shake her hand, though he didn't say much. Eva wondered if he knew about her essentially kidnapping Harry for the summer, then decided not to care. 

It was her fourth year teaching at Hogwarts, and she was finally beginning to feel like she belonged. In fact, only one person had yet to appear, and she found herself looking for him.

When Severus Snape sat down next to Eva Black, neither of them spoke for a moment or two. 

"It's good to see you," said Eva, surprised at how true the words were, although she'd been rehearsing them in her mind for days.

"It's good to see you as well," Severus said hesitantly. He looked distinctly uncomfortable, and he had every right to be. The pair hadn't exactly ended the last year on good terms. "Listen, about Lupin-"

The rest of his words were cut off as Eva pulled him into a bone-crushing hug. Severus froze.

"So much is changing right now," she whispered, "and I'm still mad at you, but I'm scared, and I don't want to lose your friendship, because you're good to me."

Severus tentatively put his arms around her. The embrace felt strange. "Eva," he hedged, "is everything all right?"

She nodded, smiling slightly, although her eyes glistened with tears. "Just feeling overwhelmed. It'll pass. There's just a lot going on right now."

"And I suppose you won't be slowing down your usual breakneck speed to take care of yourself until life returns to normal?"

"Likely not."

He rolled his eyes.

The older students filed in soon after, some of them waving cheerfully to Eva. She waved back. It was strange not seeing the entirety of the Gryffindor Quidditch team huddled close together at one end of the table, but that was the way of things. She'd learned it firsthand during her years at DeHaan. Part of teaching was saying goodbye.

The new students shuffled in next, most glancing nervously around the Great Hall. Eva recalled her own sorting as they took their places on the stool and joined their new classmates. She remembered not understanding what any of the houses were, just desperately wanting to join the boy she'd met on the train, the one with the scars.

This year, Dumbledore had donned vibrant orange robes in honor of the first feast. Eva stifled a laugh behind her hand. He looked like a joyful tangerine as he rattled off the annual run-of-the-mill announcements. After a few minutes, she fought to stay still in her chair, and she could see that she wasn't the only one. Many of the professors looked just as impatient. There were more important matters to discuss tonight.

Eventually, Dumbledore glanced backward at the staff table, a twinkle in his bright blue eyes, before turning back. 

"I have an announcement. An exciting one, but I feel obliged to deliver sadder news first. There will be no Quidditch Cup this year."

The Great Hall erupted.

Eva caught a glimpse of the Gryffindor team. Both Fred and George were directing some rather obscene words and gestures at Dumbledore. Katie and Alicia were certainly doing their best to stop the twins. Angelina looked like she wanted to break something. Harry just stared, open-mouthed.

"Allow me to quell your anger. This year, Hogwarts will play host to an exciting event, one that has not occurred in over one hundred years, so there will be no time for Quidditch." Dumbledore paused for effect, smiling as he did so. Eva could have cut the interest in the room with a knife. "This year, Hogwarts will be hosting the legendary Triwizard Tournament."

The Great Hall erupted again.

"YOU'RE JOKING!" Fred shouted, his disbelief heard over the chaos. Eva hid her giggle in her drink.

"I do not kid you, Mr. Weasley. For those of you who do not know..."

Dumbledore launched into an explanation of the Triwizard Tournament, one that Eva more or less lost interest in. She knew quite a bit about the tournament. James spent three years sending the headmaster anonymous notes begging for Hogwarts to host the contest to no avail. Honestly, she was surprised that the Ministry had approved it now. Perhaps they were looking for a way to cover up the... trying... events of the previous term.

She tuned back in just as Dumbledore was wrapping up his rather lengthy manifesto. With a proud smile, he welcomed the two competing schools into the Great Hall. Eva watched and clapped with the Hogwarts staff as the students of Beauxbatons entered, their powder-blue uniforms pristine and their mannerisms formal. However, when the headmaster introduced the next school, she froze in her seat.

"Please welcome the proud sons of Durmstrang and their headmaster, Igor Karkaroff!"

Eva stared in horror at the headmaster, wrapped in the finest furs and wearing the smuggest grin. Suddenly she was back in Bulgaria, too weak to protest as Voldemort tore through her memories for information. She could still remember Karkaroff's dragging her down the halls of his beautifully-cold home to be tortured, and she could still remember him throwing her beaten body down the stairs. Her scar felt like it was burning.

Severus was the only one who noticed her stiffen, and perhaps he was the only one who could fully understand. A sick feeling twisted his stomach as well. His black eyes flitted back and forth between his old companion and his new one, and gave her the slightest nod. The simple gesture was enough to steady her. She swallowed and nodded back.

Maybe this year wouldn't be as calm as I hoped. 

Her suspicion was confirmed when the false sky above the tables exploded with a thunderstorm, foreshadowing the entrance of Mad-Eye Moody. Eva hadn't seen him since the night he dragged Sirius to Azkaban, and dark emotions swirled inside her. He didn't deserve her hatred: she knew that. If she'd been able to forgive Remus for believing Sirius' guilt, if she'd been able to forgive herself for it, then she could forgive his old mentor. She resolved to talk to him sometime in the coming weeks. Perhaps they could have tea or a stroll around the grounds. During the war, he'd been more or less fond of her.

Excitement buzzed around the Great Hall for the rest of the night, excitement that only spiked when Dumbledore revealed the Triwizard Cup. Spirits were high as the students departed to their dormitories, chatting and laughing the entire way. Eva shook her head to herself as she pushed in her chair, but her eyes flitted over to Karkaroff, who was in deep conversation with Dumbledore. Had he noticed her at all? Would he recognize her if he did? Feeling slightly apprehensive, she turned to Severus.

"I think I'll call it a night." She smiled weakly. "It's good to see you again."

The potions master stood up and pushed in his chair. "I think I'll go as well. I have no desire to stay and socialize." As usual, lingering students stared at the odd pairing of professors. 

It was only once they started climbing the stairs that something registered as strange in Eva's mind. "Aren't you supposed to be headed downstairs?"

Severus shrugged. "I thought you might like someone to walk you to your room tonight."

So he had seen right through her. Eva smiled and bumped her shoulder against his. "Thanks."

"You don't have to worry about Karkaroff. He's a weasel, but he was never dangerous on his own," he replied, disdain creeping into his voice. Eva couldn't blame him for it: in the aftermath of the war, Karkaroff had been the one to name him a Death Eater. The papers had a field day with it. "Do you approve of this tournament? It hasn't been hosted in over a century for a reason."

Eva thought about his question before responding. "I would be lying if I said I wasn't worried, but I'm glad there's an age limit. I think it'll be different than it was in the past. Besides..." She trailed off for a moment, her eyes meeting his in a meaningful gaze. "We were younger and we survived worse."

Severus nodded, seeming satisfied with her answer. When they arrived at the door to her classroom, he bade her goodnight and disappeared down the staircase, his black robes billowing dramatically behind him. Eva had to laugh a little as she imagined what her seventeen-year-old self would think of her current self being chummy with Severus Snape. 

She crept up the spiral stairs to her office and slipped into her bedroom. It was nice, but after spending three months at the beach with Sirius at her side, it felt empty. Ringo hooted from the windowsill, a little piece of home away from home. She patted his head. 

Eva changed into comfier clothes and crawled into bed, but she didn't fall asleep. Moonlight shined through her window. Somewhere near the Scamander home, Moony and Padfoot were roaming, likely catching up after all of those years of missed full moons. Tomorrow morning, they'd have coffee and homemade scones around Queenie's kitchen table. Newt would be hunched over The Daily Prophet, and the kneazles would jump around everyone's ankles. 

Everyone except for me.

Her throat ached at being so far away from the ones she loved most. But I have Harry, she reminded herself. Harry and our little half-decent Black. She rested a hand on her belly, somehow expecting herself to be big as a house already. The reality of being pregnant had sunk in, but she still couldn't quite believe it. She had a sudden desire to tell Lily, Marlene, and Kriss. Even now, she could imagine their screams of excitement.

"Try not to wake me up tonight," Eva whispered as she turned out the light. "You and I have a big day tomorrow."

By morning, she'd taken five frantic trips to the bathroom. She didn't expect anything less from her husband's child.

I FINALLY UPDATED!

What did you guys think?

Predictions/things you'd like to see happen??