chapter two:

the first cut is the deepest S1 : E2

When Nadine was twenty one, her best friend took her clubbing and then ran off with a guy, leaving her alone. Her drink was spiked and she was attacked. Screaming didn't help her, the guy was too heavy and that was the day that she knew the world was a horrible place.

That was the day her life changed, that day marked her life, that day scarred her and that day created her daughter. Some random guy took advantage and assaulted her, she was different and that would never change.

When she was twenty two, she gave birth to her daughter Zara Lauren O'Malley and vowed to raise her daughter alone and the best she could. But she didn't have to. Her family summoned a village.

Now three years later, her life was completely different. She was a surgical intern at one of the best hospitals in the country, in a good residency program and her daughter was loved.

Their second shift as an intern started with George and Nadine each holding a hand of three year old Zara. "This is where mommy and Uncle Georgie work. We're taking you to the daycare, we will come and see you when we can." Nadine smiled as Izzie and Meredith approached them.

"Who's the kid?" Izzie asked as she waved at the brunette. Meredith smiled as the little girl waved at her.

"My daughter and George's niece and goddaughter Zara. I'm taking her to daycare." Nadine smiled as she picked her daughter up and hoisted her onto her hip.

George and Nadine walked to the daycare together. "Baby I love you. Be good, I'll pop by soon." Zara waved them away as she held the hand of a daycare worker.

Nadine and George rushed to the locker room and got changed into their scrubs. Izzie and George were still pestering Meredith. "I'm an obsessive cleaner." Nadine rolled her eyes as they followed Bailey.

"George, code team. Cristina, labs. Meredith and Nadine, trauma patients. Izzie, sutures." Nadine nodded as she picked up her coffee from where George had left it.

She giggled slightly when Meredith gave the bribe to Bailey and zoned out of the conversation. Something didn't feel right and she didn't know what it was or why.

"No-one holds a scalpel until I'm so happy I'm Mary freakin' Poppins." Meredith followed Nadine to the emergency room and waited by the trauma bays.

Nadine sipped her coffee quietly as a nurse approached the two. "Rape victim. You better get in there." She told the two as Nadine went pale, for a moment she felt sick.

Every nerve in her body was telling her to run away, but she knew that she couldn't. This girl needed help and despite her feelings she had to give it.

Taking a deep breath she saw Meredith freeze, staring at the shoes. "Okay, call CT, load up the monitor, call for a ventilator." She listed off, looking at Meredith. "Doctor Grey." She muttered, nausea clouding her senses.

The scans showed a brain bleed and internal bleeding, Burke and Shepherd chose Meredith to scrub in so Nadine took the chance to get up to date on charting.

Nadine ran a shaky hand through her hair, she was sweating and shaking, saliva pooling in her mouth. Gulping, she rushed into the closest bathroom and vomited into the toilet.

Tears ran down her cheeks as she gagged. The door opened and she heard hushed voices. Sobs escaped her partly open lips as she wiped her mouth and eyes with a tissue.

After a few minutes of breathing deeply, she left the cubicle and saw Izzie staring at her. "You good?" She questioned as Nadine wiped her eyes and washed her hands, splashing her face with cold water.

Izzie looked at the blonde with concern but got no response, Nadine was staring past her, her fingers picking at theirselves. 

Tatters of memories flashed in her eyes, she could hear her screams and his moans, she could feel him on top of her, smell his hot breath, taste his mint gum and see his sweaty grasp on her arm.

Alcohol bottles were emptied on the floor as he smashed one and held the jagged edge to her neck. "Scream and I'll kill you." That was the one thing she remembered clearly from that night.

A touch jolted her from her trance, Izzie stared at her concerned. "I-I'm fine." Nadine whimpered as she stormed out of the bathroom and to the corridor, on the empty gurneys.

The time was around half past three in the afternoon and Nadine felt empty, she didn't want to go in the busy canteen so she settled for a wrap, brownie, crisps and two bottles of water from the vending machine.

Her phone rang and she saw her brother's contact and declined the call. Taking a bite of the wrap, she picked up her things and made her way to the daycare, she just had to see her baby girl.

"Mommy!" Zara screamed as she threw herself at the woman. The little girl kissed her mom's cheeks multiple times as she giggled. "I made a friend!" She boasted as Nadine smiled, kissing her daughter on the forehead.

A hand rested on her back as she saw her brother. "Uncle Georgie!" The brunette child chirped as he picked her up and danced with her.

After five minutes they headed back to the corridor. "Izzie said you were throwing up. Please Nay, tell me you're not doing this again." George whispered as Nadine shook her head and tears leaked.

"No. I'm not. It's just a tough case, hits close to home, really close. Meredith and I have this case and it's just rattled me a bit. I'm okay." George nodded as he wrapped his arms around his sister.

"It isn't you, okay? And it's not him. You're safe here, he can't touch you." George murmured in her ear as she sobbed, he tightened his hold on her. "I've got you." He whispered. "I'm here, Nay, I'm right here." They sat side by side on the gurney.

Nadine's head rested on his shoulder as he squeezed her hand. "I have no clue what I'm doing Georgie." She whispered as Alex, Cristina, Izzie and Meredith joined them.

"George, if you need to move out of mom and dad's I have a guest room and you practically live in there anyway. You stay most nights to keep an eye on me. If Meredith still says no, the offer is there. That's if you don't mind being woken up by a screaming three year old, or nightmares." George smiled and nodded.

Izzie smiled. "Meredith caved." Nadine nodded and George looked stuck.

George looked at Meredith who nodded. "I don't mind, either way." She sighed as they walked out together, heading to the nursery.

"George, you going with them or coming to get Zara?" Nadine asked as he followed, Cristina, Meredith and Izzie following.

The latter jumping on Nadine's back. "Izz!" She yelped as her bracelet fell of her wrist. Meredith picked it up for her as they laughed, George helping her up from her knees. "Thanks." She smiled as she relooped the bracelet around her wrist.

"I'm going to move in with Meredith, but I'll still stay over a few times a week. Part time roommate." Nadine and Meredith nodded, walking to the daycare.

The door swung open as Nadine picked up her three year old daughter. "Mommy!" She smiled as George laughed as his niece reached her arms for him. "Up!" She demanded, pouting at George.

"You heard the woman, bambi, she wants up." Cristina teased as they made their way out and down the stairs. Izzie and Nadine walking together, Meredith and Cristina behind and George giving Cara a piggyback in the distance.

Cara jumped down and ran to Nadine giggling. "Mommy, what's a drunken man massage?" She stumbled over her words as Nadine glared at Cristina.

Meredith and Izzie were crying with laughter as George stared at the Korean woman. "Seriously!" George giggled as the toddler was hoisted into the air.

"It's just my friend being silly." Nadine explained, poking Cristina in the back constantly. The woman groaned as Nadine laughed. "Oh, is that annoying you. I'm sorry." But she continued poking her.

George strapped her in her seat as the others left, Nadine driving George home to pick up his half packed boxes and unpacking in the guest, now his, room. Nadine carried a box in one hand and Zara on her hip, who held a small bag in her hands. "I help!" She giggled as she ran to the guest bedroom.

"What stuff do you want here and what at Meredith's?" George started sorting piles out, for some reason he had atleast two of everything so he split things down the middle.

Nadine hoovered the carpet, dusted the shelves, cleaned the windows and made the bed with his blue sheets. "Mommy I tired." Zara signed, grabbing onto her trouser leg. 

The blonde nodded and carried her yawning child to her pink bedroom, helping her into pajamas and into her bed. She curled up besides her daughter on the tiny bed and played with her hair, softly snoring.

"Nadine?" George asked as he entered the quiet room twenty minutes later, to find his sister fast asleep next to his niece. He placed a soft kiss on each of their cheeks and covered Nadine with a blanket. "Night." He whispered, shutting the door.