chapter two:

the self destruct button S1 : E7

Nadine had been up all night with nightmares, for some reason she was thinking about the night Cara was created. 

It happened almost four years ago but it was still haunting her life, she was traumatised and he was walking around, free to do it to another woman whenever he felt the need.

Which had resulted in no sleep and a lot of coffee in the morning, and a very attitudey Nadine. "Please Cara! Get up!" Nadine shouted, losing her temper after having the same argument nine times, it was five in the morning. 

"I don't want to!" The three year old screamed throwing a book at her mom, it caught her eyebrow and gave her a papercut. 

She giggled as Nadine slammed the door shut and got dressed, chucking shorts and a strappy top on and her sneakers. "Caroline Margaret O'Malley, if you are not out of that bed by the time I get in there, you are in deep trouble."

No response. It took Nadine two minutes to finish up and make her coffee, she took her medications and a slice of toast and entered her bedroom. Slamming her hand on the draw, she placed her coffee cup and picked her daughter up. "You want to act like a baby, I will treat you like one." 

Cara pushed out and slapped her mom accidentally. Nadine shoved Cara's legs into her pants and then into her leggings, with a hello kitty t-shirt and sweater. She brushed her hair and shoved her feet into pink trainers. 

The angry twenty-five year old forced her daughter into the toddler reigns, picked up her work bag, the daycare bag, her coffee, phone and car keys as she left the house.

Nadine put her daughter, screaming and kicking, in her car seat and drove to the hospital. "I hate you!" The three year old screamed at her, Nadine wiping a tear away. "I wish you weren't my mommy!" Nadine snapped. 

She pulled into the parking space and beeped her horn at her brother. Nadine jumped out of the car and glared at the car. "I need you to deal with your niece, I can't deal with her, she's told me she hates me and wishes I wasn't her mom and I can feel myself getting angry. Please." George nodded and picked up his niece.

Nadine walked off after locking the car as Izzie gave her a hug. "You need one." She whispered in her ear as the blondes nodded into each other.

"Oh for gods sake, I forgot my coffee!" She shouted, Liam appearing behind her. "You are officially my favourite." Nadine smiled as he smirked, shaking his head as he walked away.

Izzie stared between the two. "Has anything happened?" Izzie questioned as the other blonde shook her head. 

Nadine and Izzie walked ahead and met with Bailey. "George is just dealing with my devil child." Nadine told her boss who raised her eyebrows. "Epic tantrum today, told me she hated me and wished I wasn't her mom all in one breath." Izzie pouted as Bailey sighed.

"O'Malley, Yang, Karev clinic." Bailey stated as George arrived. "Stevens you're with me." Bailey gestured to Nadine. "You've been specially requested by Dr Parks on his service today, Ortho." Izzie smirked at her as the blonde followed Liam.

Liam and Nadine walked into a room with a young boy, around nine. "Present." Doctor Parks instructed as he waved at the boy as Nadine picked up the chart.

"Henry Carr, ten years old here for a left leg amputation for an osteocarcoma." She repeated as Liam nodded in approval.

Olivia walked in and handed lab results to Liam. "Prep him for surgery and then scrub in, OR 4, an hour." Nadine nodded as Olivia helped her.

"Hi, Henry, I'm Nadine." She smiled as he played with his toy train. "I love trains, what's your favourite model?" She asked as he looked up, smiling.

His younger brother piped up, running around the room. "That's my baby brother, Harry. He's annoying." Henry told her as she smiled. 

"I have three brothers, I get it. But, they're all older than me, I'm the baby." Harry climbed on the bed and stole the toy train. "Hey, Harry, I have a special toy just for you, but it is only for good little boys who sit nicely with their brother. Do you want him?" She questioned as the mom and dad smiled.

Harry nodded his head fervently as he sat on his mom's lap and Nadine whipped out a teddy bear from her pocket. "This is Mr Grumps. I am giving you a very important job today, make him happy. Can you do that for me?" Harry smiled as he kissed the teddy bear.

Nadine inserted a needle into the canula in his elbow and withdrew two bottles of blood from the veins. "My favourite model is 5970 Olton Hall, the hogwarts express from Harry Potter." She smiled.

"Mine too. Who's your favourite character? I love Fred, George and Hermione." Henry smiled as his dad took out a drawing book full of sketches of harry potter, ron weasley and hermione granger. "These are so cool, are these three your favourite?" Henry nodded.

"Fred and George are twins, so if you like one you have to like the other." Henry told Nadine who smiled, his mom sighing slightly with laughter in her voice.

Nadine finished with the blood and placed it in the tray and Olivia took it away. "I'm a twin, but not identical. My twin's name is George." Henry was distracted again by his trains and started sketching Hagrid and the hogwarts express. "I'll be back soon." 

Mrs Carr, Niamh followed her out. "Thank you for being so good with him, we try but we don't understand half of what he is saying." Niamh pulled the intern for a hug as Liam appeared behind the intern.

An hour passed and Liam and Nadine collected Henry and took him to the O.R, he was crying and Nadine sat on the bed and stroked his head. "Hey, you're going to be perfectly fine." Nadine told him as he sniffled.

"Am I going to die? I don't want to die. Is it going to hurt?" Nadine shook her head and ran her hand over his. "I'm going to be okay?" He asked as Nadine nodded.

Nadine wanted to promise, but she knew that she couldn't. "I can't promise you, but I can promise you that I will try my best, okay? I will be right there with Doc Parks, keeping him in check." Liam smiled at her caring maternal side.

The anaestesiologist placed the mask over Henry's face as Nadine told him to count backwards from fifteen and pushed the anaestesia.

"Would you like to do the honours?" Dr Parks smiled at Nadine as he handed her the scalpel and drew a line on the left leg from below the knee to halfway down his leg.

Her hand was steady as she applied pressure to the leg with the scalpel. Liam held the bone saw and started to cut through the bone, slowly.

Nadine cauterised some of the bleeders, burning them dry to prevent traumatic bleeding. "Doctor O'Malley, use the scalpel to cut through the first few layers of skin tissue." Nadine followed the instructions of the attending, focusing solely on her hand.

The scalpel cut through the layers of skin easily and got stuck at the muscle. "Curved scissors." Nadine held her hand out as Bokhee passed them over. 

She slowly cut through the muscular tissue as Liam finished with the bone saw and finished to cut away the leg.

Dr Parks cauterised the main bleeders and the skin, folding the skin flaps over and sewing the stump shut. "Beautiful work, Dr O'Malley." They scrubbed out as the two went to find the parents.

Harry spotted Nadine and bounded up to her. "Nain! Nain! Is he happy yet?" Harry stuttered over her name slightly, holding up the teddy bear, now dressed in a blue t-shirt and shorts and holding a toy teddy. "Mommy made him clothes." 

Nadine smiled as he pulled at her leg. "Yes he is happy, good job! I have a sticker just for you." She smiled, placing it on his nose as he pointed to it for his dad to see.

"He is just fine, he did brilliantly. The leg will be quite sore for a few weeks, red and swollen but he should be able to get out of here within a month or two." Liam told the parents who hugged Nadine and then Liam.

The two walked into an on call room, Liam hoisting her into his arms, pressing a kiss onto her lips. Nadine sighed as his hands explored her body, travelling around her body as her hands resided in his hair.

He laid her on the bed and pressed more kisses into her mouth, their tongues tangling as their arms became closed together. 

Kiss after kiss was placed on their bodies, their necks, their faces, their shoulders and their lips. The two were rolling around the bed as someone banged on the wall, next door. "I am trying to sleep!" The two caught the giggles as a moan escaped Liam's lips and Nadine bit down on his lip.

A pager beeped from the side as Nadine groaned. The two were a tangle of limbs as Nadine rolled off of the bed and onto the floor, Liam trying to pull her back.

"Shit. It's the daycare. I have to go." Nadine hurriedly pulled her underwear, trousers and top back on and ran out the door with her shoes in her hand.

Her hair was tousled and falling away from the ponytail. "I got a page." Nadine stated as she saw her baby screaming and crying. "What happened?" 

One of the nurses was sat with her as another took Nadine to a crying Cara. "She's been angry all day, and then she threw a brick at one of the boys and started screaming for you." 

Cara saw her mom and ran into her arms as the adult held her daughter close. "Baby, what happened?" Nadine asked shocked as she pressed a kiss into her hair.

"I-I'm sorry. I d-didn't m-mean it." Cara sobbed, shaking as Nadine sat on a bean bag with her. "I love you." She smiled, resting her forehead into her mother's shoulder.

Nadine grabbed her daughter's teddy and walked out of the daycare, kissing her daughter. "It's okay, I know you don't mean it. I love you too." Nadine took a hand and kissed it tight.

"George!" Nadine shouted as she saw him and Izzie walking together. "The daycare paged me, she had a meltdown." George nodded as the two waited for their fellow intern.

They headed to the quiet of the corridor on the gurneys. "Why don't I have a daddy?" Cara questioned as Nadine coughed, shocked.

George sighed. "Me and your daddy, we don't talk because he wasn't a very nice man to me, but the only thing nice that he ever gave me was you." A tear rolled down her cheek. "Is that why you were angry, because you wanted to know about him?" Cara nodded.

Izzie was confused slightly. "The truth is, I don't know who he is okay. We made you and he left, I don't know his name and I never saw him again. But I am your mommy and I am happy he gave me you." Cara reached up and wiped her tears away from her mom's cheeks.

"I don't need a daddy, mommy. I have you." Nadine kissed her daughter's cheek as George took her back to daycare and Izzie sat besides Nadine.

"Before you say anything, I am not a whore, I didn't sleep around. I was raped at a party after my drink was spiked." Nadine whispered as Izzie hugged her friend tight.

"I have a daughter, I put her up for adoption." Izzie confided as the two women hugged each other close.