That night, after Patrick's gone back to his apartment, I blast Fall Out Boy from my computer and try to think about my situation. I kissed Patrick. More than that, I made out with him. I can't say that I regret it, because I sure as shit do not, but I still feel a little bit guilty. More about Brett than Patrick, although I don't know why. I guess it's just because I only broke up with Brett a few weeks ago, and while Patrick's lovely, I'm not sure what to do.

Somewhere along the line, I realize that I'm totally missing the obvious solution: I need to talk to Honey about this. True, that means telling her that I made out with my neighbour on my living room sofa, but who cares? She ought to know, really. She is my best friend, after all. So I call her.

"Hey Honey," I say, trying to keep my voice neutral. It's hard.

"Hiya! Are you ok?"

"Yeah, uh, I need to talk to you about something."

"What?" I can sense the excitement in her voice already.

"It's about a guy."

"Ooh! Tell me everything! Who is he? Do I know him?"

"Ok, ok, calm down! It's..." I pause for a moment, and then take the plunge. "You know how there's a guy who lives downstairs?"

"The antisocial one?"

I laugh. "Yeah. Him. I... We kissed."

"OMG! Wait, which one his he?"

"The smaller one. In the leather jacket. And the hat."

"Aww! He's kinda cute. What's his name?"

"Patrick. He's really sweet, actually."

"Well, if he likes you, and you like him, what are you waiting for?"

I sigh. "I don't know. It's just... Brett."

"What about him? He hasn't been hassling you, has he?" She sounds worried now.

"No, nothing like that. He hasn't even been in contact. It's just... I guess I feel kind of guilty. You know, because I've moved on so fast."

"Lydia, there's nothing wrong with moving on. Personally, I'd be glad to move on from him. Anyway, you shouldn't be feeling guilty. He's the one who dumped you, after all."

"I know, I know. It's complicated."

"Since when was a relationship simple?" She's got a very good point there.

"Ok. Look, I should go. It's getting late."

"All right. If there's any more man trouble, don't hesitate to give me a call, ok?" She hangs up.

I smile at the phone and go back to making THE ULTIMATE FALL OUT BOY PLAYLIST. I'm not being dramatic, by the way, it's just how I wrote it on YouTube. I'm including all the classics, like Sugar We're Going Down, Thnks Fr The Mmrs, This Ain't A Scene It's An Arms Race and the like. Just as I turn off the music and sit back from my playlist, there's a knock on the door. I instantly recognize the soft, uncertain knock that is Patrick's.

I open the door. He looks sweaty and pale. He's rubbing his hands together, as though it's freezing, even though it's only July.

"Are you ok?" I ask.

"I..." he starts, and then I understand. He thinks I'm being awkward about us kissing. He thinks he should apologise.

"It's fine," I say. "In fact, it's more than fine." He looks at me questioningly. "I think you should come in." So he does. He sits cross legged on the floor. I sit beside him.

"What..." he begins, but I put my finger over his lips.

"Shut up and kiss me," I whisper. His eyes light up and he looks so cute that I put my arms around him. He lets out a little sigh, and then we kiss.

God knows how long we make out for. All I'm aware of is the heat of his body pressed against mine and the constant thought Oh my god. He's good at this, much better than I would've thought. When at last we pull away, he breathes, "We need to talk about this."

"What?"

"This. Us."

"Ok." I'm sitting in his lap, and I didn't even realize. I try to move away, but Patrick puts his arms back around me. I like this, cuddling with him.

"I've always liked you, you know. Ever since I saw you for the first time."

My forehead creases into a frown. "When was that?"

"When I moved in. Me and Pete and Joe were all dragging boxes of shit into my apartment, and you came out of yours, probably because we were making so much noise. You looked at us for a minute, and then went back in. But I saw you, and I thought... Well, I wasn't sure what I was feeling at the time, but then afterwards I realized that I liked you."

I remember that day. It was a cold, windy day in November, not long after Honey had moved out. I was feeling lonely, and I could hear noises outside, so I went to go and see what was going on. When I came out of my flat, I saw three guys, a little older than me, chatting and laughing. When they saw me, they all went silent, and one of them, a small guy in a black hat and glasses, looked right at me. That was, of course, Patrick, although at the time, I didn't know it. I was always struck by the fact that he never came to say hi, even though I was perfectly friendly to him.

"You know, the day after you moved in, I went over to say hi. But you never answered the door."

He squirms slightly. "I never answer my door, unless the guys are with me. It's scary."

I smile at this and brush back a stray lock of his soft hair. "I'm not a murderer, you know."

"Yeah, well, you could be." He's smiling too, and I want to take a picture of this. He looks so happy, and he almost never looks happy.

"You know, smiling suits you," I comment. He immediately does a pretend-scowl, and we both laugh.

"That's why I don't do it too often," he says. I take off his hat and smooth back his hair. "Hey!"

"What? Your hair's messy!"

"No excuse. You have done a terrible evil, Miss Lydia. I suggest the hat be returned to its original place before you are cursed for eternity." He puts on a mock villain voice, and then does a horror-movie laugh.

"That is genuinely terrifying. I am shaking were I am. Who knew that Patrick Stump could be so horrifying?"

"Another reason to give the hat back."

"You look cute without it!"

"I don't want to look cute!"

"Too late," I say, throwing the hat on the table.

"Tut tut. I will have to kill you now," Patrick says, narrowing his eyes.

"Oh no, won't somebody help me?" I cry, trying not to laugh. He's such a dork.

"No one can help you now! I'll have to... I'll have to kiss you to death!" And then he kisses me.

"Ahh! It burns! It burns!" I yell before kissing him back. "Good burn!"

He pulls away, confused. "You are one weird girl, Lydia."

"And you're not?"

"The last time I checked, I was male."

"I wouldn't be so sure." I don't even know what we're talking about any more, but it's still fun. I sit back on his lap.

"You're the best thing that's ever happened to me," he whispers.

"What, including your birth?"

"Very funny. I mean it."

I burrow my head into his chest and let out a sigh of pure happiness. "So are you." And I mean every word of it.