★ | #68 | absence
"you've been distracted recently."

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ nicole's radio station
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absence of you • grentperez
"i let you keep your distance, but i hated keeping mine."
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SUNDAY and Monday passed by achingly slow, trapped in her bedroom all day from the moment she came home from school, claiming she was feeling a bit sick to ease the mind of her worrying mother.

Tuesday rolled around, and she and Heeseung had seemingly been avoiding each other, naivety getting in the way of confronting one another and speaking things through face to face.

Seong Haewon was hurting. Mentally, she meant. She stared down at her legs, covered by tights as she continued to hide the marks left over her skin, even after he found out.

Guilt and shame filled her mind, though she kept a stoic expression. Even whilst trapped in a classroom for the entirety of a lecture, forced to sit right beside him.

His head and eyes were trained forward or down at his desk the entire time, shoulders tense as it was clear there was unresolved tension lingering between them.

The girl wanted out, exhaustion apparent to anyone who knew her well enough. Her movements were sluggish, and reactions slow. Her brown eyes were half lidded, and a frown tugged subconsciously at her lips.

She wanted to go home, but even that was not enough to satisfy her completely. Anxiety nipped at her soul and heart with each passing second, inescapable unless trapped in a deep, dreamless slumber.

Too bad rest didn't come very easily, as her mind raced when left in silence for too long. She now found herself tossing and turning all night, unable to lose herself in the comfort of her slumber.

With her chin resting in the palm of her hand, arm propped up on her desk, she snapped herself out of her thoughts as the sharp sound of a water bottle dropping filled her ears.

She blinked, and class was over. Students gathering up their things and rushing out of the doors in hopes to make it to their lockers before the next bell rang.

Her eyes subconsciously drifted to the desk beside hers. His, more specifically. Only to find it to be empty, weighing her heart down further as she sighed deeply and pushed herself to her feet, gathering her belongings.

Meanwhile, Lee Heeseung was feeling awfully down. Since that day, he too had not been sleeping very well. He felt like the weight of the world had been placed over his shoulders.

A heavy guilt crushing his conscience. His troubles were clear, affecting his every move. Whether it be his concentration in terms of studies, or his gameplay in his soccer practices.

Continuously messing up, not as focused as he normally is, his mind elsewhere. To the point he was questioned by his peers, and had to laugh it off and blame it on staying up late studying or whatnot.

Heeseung was troubled immensely. Struck with pure worry and guilt, wishing he could go back in time to change how he reacted, to handle it more maturely — despite still being young himself.

He prayed for chance and hope each given night, to be healed and to pick the pieces back up and strengthen who they were, individually and as a pair.

Yet, it appeared his prayers were never answered. Or, perhaps he just was blind to them, the answers showing in various scenes.

Times he could have asked to talk more calmly this time and get to know how she was feeling genuinely through all of this. Yet, where he instead chose to stay silent.

It felt as if they were strangers, not sparing a look in each other's direction, save for the occasional glances he'd steal from time to time.

Heeseung so badly wanted to talk to her, to bring comfort to his soul and hopefully hers as well.

He was normally good with communication, but every time he caught sight of her, he froze, mind going blank.

Now, as he walked through the school halls after class, backpack slung lazily over his shoulder — zipper unknowingly left open, he lost himself in thought.

Did she really not trust him? It was all he could think about. To him, he felt like he could tell her anything. He grew up with her, after all.

Had he done something wrong to make her feel that way? His expression contorted subconsciously into one with his lips pulled into a small frown.

"Hey, Heeseung."

Or, had she really just done it to protect his mind from troubles such as these? Yet, if that was the case, he felt weak. Weak, because she was right.

Worry clouded his every thought, getting in the way of all that seemed important to him. Just as she predicted it would.

He hated it, hated to be viewed that way by someone he wanted to protect and be there for. But, she was right, wasn't she?

"Heeseung?"

Though, it was a normal reaction, wasn't it? To be drowned in worry and stress, a mix of frustration in there as well after discovering your best friend who you also really, really liked was hiding her struggles from you, and then proceeded to downplay it and end up not telling you the truth herself.

"Heeseung!" A voice finally snapped him out of his thoughts, as he spun around to meet the confused eyes of both Park Jongseong and Sim Jaeyun.

"You good? We called you like three times." Jake asked, raising a brow as the older boy stopped before both of them, lips tucked into a thin line.

"Yeah. It's loud in here." Heeseung excused, shrugging it off as he referred to the bustling hallways filled with various different students.

"Right." Jay nodded slowly, narrowing his eyes. "Your backpack isn't zipped up all the way." He pointed out.

Heeseung raised his brows, quickly adjusting the backpack and zipping up the half open pocket sheepishly. "Oh, thanks."

"You've been distracted recently." Jake pointed out, clicking his tongue.

"Yeah. Did something happen?" Jay followed along, voicing out the concern that had gathered from the boy over the past few days.

Heeseung paused, hesitating. His lips parted, beginning to express what was going on these days. But, he decided against it in the end, simply shutting his mouth with pursed lips as he shook his head.

"No. Everything is fine." He claimed, a slight waver in his voice as he looked his closest friends in the eye and lied.

Jay and Jake exchanged similar glances, a knowing look in their eyes before Jay sighed and nodded his head reluctantly.

"Okay. Just talk to us if you need to, okay? We're here for you." Jay replied, as Jake hummed in agreement to his words.

Heeseung flashed a quick, grateful smile towards his friend, sucking in a sharp breath before he gestured his head off to the side, silently letting them know he had to go.

"I better get going. But, I'll see you guys around, yeah?" Heeseung said, backing away as he earned mumbled replies — bidding them goodbye before he wandered off.

That same day, he found himself outside, sitting alone as he rested his chin in the palm of his hand. He ate lunch alone, eyes void of anything.

Heeseung stared blankly at the paper bag filled with her favorites that he had subconsciously purchased from the vending machine, momentarily forgetting of her absence recently.

He sighed deeply, shifting to hold his head in his hands, a heavy weight lingering over his heart with each passing day.

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★﹐authors corner ．﹗﹑ 1.2k words.
filler chapter !!! ewwweww so boring. guys the end is so close oh my goodness i am not ready to say goodbye to this book 💔

this is my favorite work of mine ever and i fear that absolutely none of my future stories will be able to top the experience i've had whilst working on this </3

ugh, heartbreaking

anyway, shameless promotion here lolol but i opened a tumblr account the other day! i plan to post strictly oneshots / imagines on there, so if you would like to read any of those, feel free to check it out!

the @ is yeo-hee ^^

currently, i have two heeseung oneshots up. but i am in the midst of working on two requests of mine already (plus some more from my friends lol)

okokok that's all for today.

thank you for reading! i love you all 🤍
september 22nd, 2024 — 7:53pm.
not proofread.