★ | #64 | ready
"i'm doomed."

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ nicole's radio station
is now playing...

i hope she loves me back • boy pablo
"am i allowed to be thinking 'bout forever?"

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FRIDAY passed by in a blur. To Lee Heeseung, at least, as he anticipated Saturday to come immensely.

However, growing up with Seong Haewon meant growing familiar with her habits, along with body language.

Friday passed quickly, sure, but worry from said day still lingered in his mind. As she seemed much too reserved and anxious in school for his liking.

And, for some reason, insisted on continuing to wear her blazer despite the growing heat outside, produced by the days of late spring and approaching summer. On top of that, wearing sweatpants beneath her skirt.

The tights the other day were one thing, but he didn't bat an eye at the thought of them. It was normal, he guessed.

Other people wore them, and though Haewon never did, he didn't think it was abnormal for her to try something different.

But sweatpants in this heat from a girl who often complained about her distaste for the heat and summer as a whole made him question things.

And when mentioning it to her, he couldn't help but to grow skeptical as she laughed nervously and brushed it off.

Claiming that she supposedly gets cold indoors easily, though well aware that it was a lie. She and him both knew that clearly.

Bu, given she didn't want to answer, he didn't want to sour her mood further and instead decided to wait it out.

Of course, if things became more clear to him, he'd act out on it. But for now, he'd save said conversation for another day.

He pushed it aside for now, because today was special. Today was Saturday. Today, he had a date.

A date with the girl he so badly wished to spend the rest of his days with. Although he was still young, days of youth nowhere near over, he couldn't help but find himself wanting to grow old with her at his side.

To be best friends was one thing, growing up with each other dating back to early days of childhood.

The sound of sweet giggles filling the air as they ran through tall grass together, innocently holding hands.

But to be lovers was another. To be able to say he spent his entire life with the love of his life was to be the greatest blessing - the only gift he'd wish for in his lifetime.

Here, he stood in his bedroom, fingers nervously fiddling with the hem of the white t-shirt he wore.staring back at his own reflection in the mirror set up in his bedroom.

He said casual, it was easily established between the two of him. But, why was he finding it difficult to choose what to wear?

Heeseung wanted to look his best for her, but didn't want to overdo it. And after changing three separate times, he finally decided on an outfit. Or, thought he did, at the very least.

Something about it seemed off, and he was growing a bit frustrated with himself each passing second.

Honestly, it wasn't even the outfit that was making him upset. It was more so just something he could use as an excuse to let his emotions out onto.

He was nervous. His intentions were to confess for the second time. Only, this time, to ask her to be his - officially.

To finally have her as his own, to know how it felt to be able to say that he had found and was with his one true love - his person.

And despite knowing of her reciprocated feelings after they both made it clear how they felt equally for one another, to ask her like this was still scary.

He didn't care if he embarrassed himself in front of her or whatnot, but he did want it to be perfect.

Perhaps he was putting too much pressure on himself because he knew she'd say yes regardless of how he asked, but he couldn't help but to want to lay things out perfectly, memorably.

Taking a deep breath, his eyes wandered over his dresser aimlessly before landing on his small cup of jewelry.

His eyes softened, reaching into it and pulling necklaces and bracelets apart from each other, grabbing a certain necklace and bracelet out.

The necklace - belonging to a matching set he had purchased for her in sophomore year for her birthday. She had the other half.

The bracelet - one she had made for him as a joke after the Toy Story movie had come out. With white and green beads, and beads with the letters spelling out 'Buzz', to stand short for the movie character himself, Buzz Lightyear.

Despite claiming to be not so crazy over the childrens movie as much as he was, she had a matching bracelet for herself. Only, hers was Woody themed.

Though struggling a bit, he managed to put the necklace on successfully. Afterwards, slipping the bracelet on with ease.

The two pieces of Jewelry were small. One made with cheap beads from a bracelet making kit bought from a convenience store, and the other purchased delicately from the mall's Jeweller.

But, both hold an equal amount of value to him. For it wasn't the price of things that made it valuable to Lee Heeseung. Instead, the memories laced with the products himself.

Sentimental value.

Feeling more at peace with himself after slipping on the simple accessories, he took a deep breath, tucking his bottom lip between his teeth as he nibbled anxiously at the tissue.

"Okay, how do I do this?" Heeseung breathed out to himself, eyes lingering over his own face in the mirror. "Just, be natural." He uttered again, letting out a small breath.

"Okay— uhm, Haewon, you're really—" Heeseung began, stumbling over his words and immediately face palming himself, shaking his head as he muttered a string of curses under his breath.

"No, no, no." He whispered to himself, brows furrowed tightly together as he swallowed the lump in his throat.

The boy paced back and forth, eyes drifting up to the ceiling as he went out possible scenarios and lines in his head, lips pressed into a thin line.

Soon returning back in front of the mirror, he leaned forward on the palms of his hands, propping himself up against his dresser as he stared back at himself in his reflection.

"Okay, come on, I got this. It's only Haewon, right?" He muttered quietly in encouragement to himself, not usually one to talk to himself. But at this moment, it seemed like he was the only one he had to rely on.

"I know we've been friends since we were little, but I'd really want to be more than that, if it's okay with you." Heeseung let out without much thought, immediately grimacing and shaking his head.

"No, too weak." He dismissed, sighing as he backed himself up until reaching the foot of his bed, which he fell back onto as he hid his face in his hands.

Letting out a groan in frustration, Heeseung draped the back of his hand over his eyes, of which were sealed shut, a light furrow in his brows.

"I'm doomed." He muttered dramatically, releasing yet another heavy sigh.

Seong Haewon was a precious name to him, one whom he held dearly to his heart — his soul.

He believed she deserved to be treated as nothing less than perfect, to be cared for delicately — much like a flower.

He was just that for her. The gardener, in which kept her intact and blooming — to release the beauty she carried most when she was happy. For she was a pocketful of stars, whereas he was a stargazer.

Heeseung thought back to the nights where he'd be having a sleepover with the girl. Curled up on the couch, her head resting in his lap as she forced him to watch some cheesy rom-com.

How he'd call her silly for crying and growing emotional when the scene came that the two main characters finally got together, his fingers running through her hair to soothe her.

He would never say that he was a fan of those movies, yet even he had to admit that he wanted to do all of that for her. A movie-esque perfect confession.

Heeseung let out a sigh, eyes fluttered open as he lifted his wrist, checking the time on the watch wrapped around his wrist.

Upon realizing it was almost time to leave, he pushed himself to his feet.

He gave himself one last look in the mirror, grabbing his favorite hat and a pair of sunglasses beforehand and leaving his room, heading downstairs to leave the house after bidding his parents goodbye.

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★﹐authors corner ．﹗﹑ 1.4k words.
quick little cutesy filler chapter to spread things out !! 🤍

as always, i love you all so much! thank you reading! <3
august 13th, 2024 — 11:42pm.
not proofread.