★ | #49 | footage
"don't stress over it."

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ nicole's radio station
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this is how it feels • d4vd ft. laufey
"so, this is how it feels, to fall in love with you. to always think of you."

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“HOW did you even hurt yourself?” Haewon questioned, strolling alongside him as she held his hand in her own, fingers intertwined together.

Heeseung pressed his lips into a thin line, turning his head to look at her before returning his gaze to focus on the street they walked down.

“We were during a running drill, and as I was mid-sprint, I planted my foot wrong and twisted my ankle weirdly.” He explained briefly, as the girl winced.

“Ooo, ouch.” Haewon breathed out, narrowing her eyes slightly. “Just take it easy over the next few days. That concerns me about you going on the school trip.”

“Why?” Heeseung asked, tilting his head in slight confusion as he furrowed his brows.

“Well, it's an outdoors-based trip. We're camping. Which most likely means we'll be exploring, so like.. hiking and stuff. I don't want you to hurt yourself further.” The girl explained, pursing her lips.

“If you're not fully healed by then, then stay home. I'll stay with you, too. We can hang out on our own. I'll even watch Toy Story with you.” Haewon suggested, as the boy chuckled and squeezed her hand, tugging her closer to his side.

“Toy Story? You really care about me that much, huh?” Heeseung cooed, a teasing smile spread across his features. “But, relax. I'll be fine. We're gonna go on the trip, and have fun. Okay?”

“Okay. If you are healed.” The girl agreed, swinging their intertwined hands back and forth between them.

“If I am healed.” He repeated, nodding his head along in agreement as his hand tightened around hers, a soft hum falling from his lips.

It wasn't long before they stood in front of his house, as the girl let go of his hand, folding her arms over her chest.

“Well, good night. I'll see you tomorrow?” Haewon tilted her head, as he nodded in return, a smile on his lips as he gazed into her softened eyes.

“Mhm. I'll see you tomorrow.” Heeseung confirmed, holding his arms out.

The girl stepped forward, leaning into his embrace as she wrapped her arms around his taller frame.

“Take it easy, and ice your ankle.” She reminded, as he emitted a soft-sounding laugh, nodding his head. He pulled away, just enough, doe eyes catching a glimpse of her own as he tilted his head.

“Mhm, I will, I will. You don't have to worry so much.” Heeseung pointed out, shaking his head as he brushed it off.

The girl scrunched her nose up slightly, emitting a small hum from the back of her throat as the moon shining down on them illuminated his features. Drowning in a soft, hazy glow.

“But I do, whether I want to or not. It's a bit concerning how these injuries are so common in soccer.” Haewon huffed out, frowning slightly.

“It’s scary, I know. But it's okay, because it's not forever. I'll heal within no time. And besides, it's not even a bad injury. Don't stress over it.” He spoke reassuringly, lifting a hand as his fingertips brushed lightly against the side of her cheek, pushing her hair behind her ear.

“Listen, I want you to call me when you get home, alright? So I don't have to spend all night worrying. I really wish you'd just let me walk you home tonight. I'm not in that much pain.” He sighed out, pressing his lips into a thin line.

“Regardless, you're in pain. No matter how small it is. I don't want you overdoing it when I can walk home alone safely just fine.” Haewon interjected, earning a slow, reluctant nod from him.

“Fine. Still, as I said, call me. Okay?” Heeseung raised a brow, as she huffed out a laugh and nodded in agreement, her eyes curving slightly with the light tug of a smile on the corners of her lips.

“Okay. I'll call you as soon as I get home. I promise.” Haewon agreed, her tone of voice softening, fitting for the gentle look in her eyes.

“Good.” He let out, leaning down and pressing a feathering kiss to her cheek — as if it had become a normal thing between them. “Goodnight, Haewon. Be safe, yeah?” He hummed, tilting his head and releasing her from his hold.

Haewon's cheeks flushed pink, clearing her throat as she shifted her gaze down to the ground, nodding meekly in return. “Yeah.” She mumbled.

Turning to meet his gaze yet again, she flashed a quick, soft smile as she took a step back.

“Goodnight. I'll see you tomorrow morning.” Haewon said, her feet carrying her a bit away, raising her hand to wave him goodbye as he peacefully returned the small gesture.

The girl turned away after a moment, releasing a deep breath as she pressed her lips into a thin line, her arms falling limp as her sides as she curled her hands into fists, a light flutter mixed with an ache starting up in her heart as she felt an overwhelming amount of peace and happiness.

Having come to terms with her own feelings, she felt a bit worried — unsure of how to act on things. Love was a fragile thing. Even she, who had never been in a proper relationship, knew it.

The most it took is a simple miscommunication error, or lack of commitment and a relationship could crumble, shattered into pieces as if glass.

Being that Love and Lee Heeseung were in the same category in her mess of a mind, she couldn't help but to feel slightly apprehensive.

What she had with Heeseung was delicate to her, much like a flower. To take a risk and make a move was something she feared. Yet, she didn't want to have to mask said emotions forever.

To pretend like she wasn't completely smitten with him, to act as if she'd only ever see him as Heeseung, her best friend, caused a dull ache in her heart.

An inescapable worry lingered in the back of her mind, as she attempted to block it out with a rush of pointless thinking, recalling the advice she had received from Jang Miyeon beforehand.

As she continued her way home in the quiet of the night, her eyes drifted down to the black camera bag she had draped over one of her shoulders, much like a purse.

Her camera — a source of comfort. To live through the world with a small screen that acted as her eyes, to capture things that she loved and cherished to be held forever. Timeless memories she'd wish to look back on well into the future, recalling days of youth.

Her footsteps slowed down the dimly lit street, hands carefully unraveling the velcro strap on the back before unzipping it — revealing the camera.

With care, she lifted the device into her hands, switching it on as she pressed her lips into a thin line, waiting for it to load up.

Mindlessly, she switched the camera settings, focusing the lens down on her shoes as she strolled on slowly down the street.

Pressing record, the distant croak of cicadas hidden amongst trees and bushes was sure to be caught by the microphone as she sighed quietly.

“I got paid the other day,” Haewon began, recapping on her days mindlessly as a hum sounded past her lips. “I'm practically rich now.” She joked.

The girl pressed her lips into a thin line, shifting her hold over the camera as she struggled slightly to turn the lens towards her, unsure if she was in frame.

Quite frankly, she didn't care too much. As the footage wouldn't be seen by anyone, anyway.

“But anyway, I'm actually a bit tired right now, so I don't have too much energy. I'm unsure of why I'm even filming this, to be honest.” The girl admitted, shrugging her shoulders slightly as her gaze shifted to look out in front of her.

“School today was okay, just draining. And, after that, I hung out with Miyeon in the club room, so that was fun. We talked a lot. She gives good advice, I think.” She rambled on, nodding subconsciously along to her own words.

Haewon paused, tilting her head off to the side as she hesitated momentarily. Her lips parted, a small breath falling past them as she began to speak.

“Actually, my mind has been on overload a lot these days. I've been thinking a lot recently.” Haewon began, her words coming out slowly — reluctantly.

“I talked to Miyeon earlier, in the clubroom. I asked her for help, and she helped me realize some things fully. It was comforting to be put at ease like that.” She breathed out with a small laugh, gently shaking her head off to the side.

“Anyway, I think.. I love Heeseung.” Haewon confessed quietly, a soft whisper into the night — unsure if it was even picked up by the built-in microphone.

“Well, not think. I know I do. And that in itself, is scary.” She continued on, a heavy sigh falling from her lips as she swallowed the lump in her throat.

“I have always loved him, that's not the problem. I'm in love with him. That's what's wrong. Well, it's not wrong. But it's scary. Terrifying, even.” She chuckled nervously, biting down anxiously on her bottom lip.

“This is the second time I'm saying this out loud — that I'm properly admitting it. So, it feels a bit foreign to say stuff like this.” The girl mumbled, cheeks tinted pink. “But, uhm, yeah. I love him. A lot. I love Heeseung.”

Her grip around the camera grew shakier, as she huffed and reached her freehand out, stabilizing it once again. “I wonder,” she began, pursing her lips. “If it's too soon to say that. To feel that way.”

Upon steadying her hold on the camera, she emitted a soft sigh as she let one of her hands leave the camera, reaching to push her hair out of her eyes

“But, Miyeon said not to push it away, so I won't. Besides, I think it'd be a bit harmful in some sorts to force myself to act as if I don't feel some type of way towards him.” Haewon said, nibbling down on her bottom lip.

The girl fell silent, drained of words to voice out. Or, any that seemed fitting to be displayed on camera, regardless of the fact it was for her eyes alone.

“It feels kind of awkward to be admitting it like this. But, won't it be funny to look back on?” Haewon laughed quietly. “What if I'm heartbroken, though? In the future, I mean.”

“Hopefully not. Hopefully I'll be able to look back at this with a cheerful spirit. And, most likely laugh at myself for being so dense.” Haewon rolled her eyes slightly.

As she turned onto the familiar street, the one of which her home resided on, she let out a small hum, taking a deep breath.

“I feel like I'm just rambling nervously now. And, I'm almost home, anyway. So I think I'll call it quits right here.” The girl mumbled, waving at the lens before she turned it away from her — focusing back down on her shoes.

“Bye.” Haewon let out quietly, pressing the button once again and ending the video. She switched the camera off, tucking it safely back into the bag it belonged in as she continued the rest of her walk home in silence.

The dull ache in her heart seemingly faded away, as she took a deep breath, relaxing as she pushed her hands into the pockets of her blazer.

Seong Haewon cleared her mind as she approached her home. Coming to terms with herself, with her intricate feelings.

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★﹐authors corner ．﹗﹑ 2.0k words.
double update !! i'm locked in guys i can't stop writing for ephemeral broooo 💔

is it crazy to publish this at this time ?? probably yes. will i still do it ?? yes.

guys something is coming trust !!! 🥰 this was just me setting something up for future, future chapters yk 😚

plot planning yayayaya

also, i wanna add this lovely artwork of haewon made by none other than the sweetest person ever — slayywon !! genuinely so grateful oh my goodness ?! tysm jia i love you 😚

please go show her love on her own works !! they are genuinely worth it and she's a very talented author and overall an incredible person <3

thank you all so much for reading. i love you all very, very much 🤍
july 21st, 2024 — 2:42am.
not proofread.