★ | #30 | drunk
"all he does is mess with my head. why do i care?"

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ nicole's radio station
is now playing...

dealer • lana del rey
"please don't try my father either, he ain't
been home for years."

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AN hour in, it was not hard to tell that the girl was in a drunken state. Cheeks flushed pink from the alcohol and words occasionally coming out in a slur.

Although she knew it was bad to be drowning her feelings in the warmth of the liquid going down her throat, she couldn't help but keep bringing the glass to her lips.

Almost hoping to completely lose herself in the cheap bottle of wine. To be able to talk freely, without remembering the embarrassment of the words that fell from her lips.

"And— and he's a huge jerk. But why does it hurt so much when I think of him being gone completely? If I hate him that much, I shouldn't care, right? All he does is mess with my head. Why do I care?" Haewon spoke, her tone filled with frustration.

"Because he's your family, Haewon. You said before, you had a close relationship with your father when you were little, right?" Heeseung recalled, watching as she brought the glass of wine to her lips and swallowed a large amount.

"It must be your inner child holding onto a thread of hope that you can have that again. You resent him for the pain he inflicts on you now, but part of you will always care for what you once had. And that's okay. You don't have to forgive him." He added on quietly, as she sniffled slightly.

"You know, before this, he was hardly ever home." Haewon mentioned, as if it wasn't a known fact between the two of them already.

"Constantly busy with work. Or, that's what he claims." She uttered, pulling her knees to her chest as she continued to sip at the maroon liquid that was running low in the glass, twirling it around by the stem.

"Mom thinks he's cheating. And, I believe it too. I mean, it's kinda obvious." The girl hiccupped, pausing to finish off the last of her wine.

"Hey, hey, slow down." Heeseung warned, shaking his head as she chugged down the remainder of the alcohol in her glass, brows furrowed as worry etched on his features.

"I'm fine." Haewon sighed, waving him off as she brought her palm to her forehead, propping her elbow up on her knees as she leaned her head into her hand.

"My mom caught my dad talking to a woman on the telephone one time. Did I ever tell you that? She woke up in the middle of the night and he was gone from his side of the bed." Haewon frowned at the thought, unloading her thoughts without care.

"She got up to look for him and went downstairs and found him, snuck away in the living room late at night flirting with some woman over the phone. She thinks it's his coworker." The girl added, spilling information she hadn't chosen to share with him, not wanting him to pity her.

"My god, really?" Heeseung breathed out, tilting his head as his gaze bored down to his lap, lips pressed into a thin line. "That's— that's fucked up."

"Right? I hate him." Haewon mumbled, blinking away tears from her bloodshot eyes as she scoffed, picking at a loose thread at the hem of her shirt.

"And I feel like shit because I know my mom is only staying with him for me." The girl swallowed the lump in her throat, clenching her tightly as she shook her head.

"She's afraid that I'll get bullied or some shit, I don't know. She hasn't told me directly, but I can tell." She breathed out, biting down on her bottom lip.

"Haewon, it's not your fault. You know that." Heeseung sighed out, eyes scanning her expression as she huffed and shook her head.

"Do I, though?" Haewon asked, unsure if she was questioning him or herself as she tilted her chin upwards, gazing hopelessly at the sea of stars shining down on earth.

"Don't be like that, come on. It's not your fault. None of it is, and it never has been. This is between your mother and your father, not you. If she's really staying for that reason, that's something she has chosen to do herself for the sake of you. You didn't decide for her." Heeseung shut down her thoughts.

Or, at least tried to, as he was met with pure silence as she repeatedly blinked away her tears, holding them back as that burned at her waterline.

Haewon shifted, arms extended out to reach fit the bottle of wine to pour what was left in it into her glass as Heeseung shook his head, gently pushing her hands away and moving the bottle away, setting it near him and out of her reach.

"Hey, no. No more. That's enough." Heeseung spoke, as she furrowed her brows, sniffling as she shifted onto her knees, attempting to reach for it despite his words of disapproval. Only, he blocked her desperate attempts.

"Heeseung, don't— please." She breathed out, pleading with him as he sighed and shook his head for the nth time, his hands catching hers as he brought them down, squeezing them softly.

"No, Haewon. No more. It's okay to drink a bit, but this— it's too much. You're over your limit. You'll only do yourself harm if you drink any more." Heeseung said gently, as she pulled one of her hands out of his grasp, wiping her tears rather harshly.

"I'm fine, I'm fine. It's not fair." Haewon huffed, brushing her shaky fingers anxiously through her hair almost in an attempt to ground herself.

Heeseung frowned, biting down on his bottom lip as he witnessed her current state, swallowing the lump in his throat as he kept his composure.

"Alright, okay, we're doing this, huh?" Heeseung chuckled quietly to himself, shifting positions as his hands crept up to her wrists, gently tugging her closer to himself.

"You're okay, it's gonna be alright. I just need you to calm down right now. Take deep breaths, okay?" He cooed, his hold around her frame loose to offer some room for breathing.

The girl's eyes fluttered shut, taking a deep breath as her fist tightened around the back of his shirt, the fabric bunched up on her hand.

"Good, just like that. Another one, okay?" He asked, rubbing her back soothingly, tracing imaginary circles and star shapes as he focused on her breathing, more than aware of the overwhelming feeling washed over her.

A few minutes later, after getting her calmed down, a few tears managed to slip from her eyes, streaming down her cheeks as she leaned against him for comfort and strength.

"Can you just take me home? Please." She asked quietly, as he nodded slowly in acknowledgement.

"You want to go home? Are you sure? You're welcome to stay the night if you'd like. You can take my bed, I don't mind." Heeseung offered, wanting to assure she was comfortable with her decision.

"Yeah, I want to go home." Haewon uttered, as he hummed, leaning down to pepper sweet kisses that she wouldn't even remember on her forehead.

"Okay, let's get you home, okay? Come on." He said, helping her to her feet as he paid no mind to the discarded wine glasses and bottle, leaving it behind to clean up once he returned home.

________________

Holding her hand tightly as he kept her close at his side walking down the familiar streets back to her house, Heeseung's gaze shifted towards her as she rambled on about random stuff, words coming out slurred.

The boy raised a brow, trying to follow along with what she was saying, only to be left confused.

Only, as they walked underneath a lamppost, he caught a hint of red on her skin, over her exposed skin on her collarbone due to the cut of the neckline of the shirt she wore.

At first, he assumed it was just her flushed skin due to being quite drunk. But, when he realized it wasn't that, he tested up slightly.

"Why is your skin red? What's that?" He asked, as Haewon furrowed her brows and stared confusedly.

"What are you talking about?" She breathed out, narrowing her eyes as she pursed her lips.

"Seong Haewon."

"I didn't do anything!" She exclaimed, to which he quickly shushed her, a sigh falling from his lips.

"We'll talk tomorrow. You're not in the state to explain to me honestly." He mumbled to himself, as he shook his head, brushing it off as he guided her back home.

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★﹐authors corner ．﹗﹑ 1.4k words.
okay guys someone pinch me rn because why was this chapter actually ass 🤓

i fear i did not eat with this chapter at all because tell me why the writing in this one is so sloppy like.. part of me honestly wants to redo this but i am running on like two hours of sleep rn i don't have the energy to fix it 😭🙏

thank you for reading !! sorry to disappoint with the writing my loves <3
may 15th, 2024 — 6:17pm.
not proofread.