They snuck out of the palace to the forest on the outskirts of mathura. They breathed, there were very few residents in mathura yet, but they were proceeding slowly yet steadily.

As they went deeper in the forest, yudhi froze as dhriti held his hand rotectively. He saw his brothers and his mother with a whole encountrage travelling somewhere.

He looked at himself and his sister, they both were not dressed approriately, he just wore a dhoti and his upper body was bare, his sister was clad only in an blouse and lehenga exposing her waist compeletly and her hair was open, they both had minimalist jwellery. If his mom saw him like this, they might kill him.

But dhriti had other worries, she pulled him and herself behind a huge tree because she knew he did not want to go back.

Yudhishthira's eyes were brimming with tears as he stared at his brothers, it had been more than an year. He missed them a lot but his sister never let him feel the void.

"It is going to be alright, let us go somewhere else." she told him in an effort to comfort him. But his throat was choked and he was frozen. He just nodded, he did not want to meet them.

He heard them all laughing as if they never cared if he was there or not as he held his sister's wrist tighter, really, him leaving did not effect them at all. Dhriti just stared at him, she could not see him vulnerable.

Somewhere deep down, he did hope they missed him, they deserved to loose him. But seeing them so happy made him realize he was nothing but an otp in their life. Used and then discarded.

"Family is like branches on a tree; we all grow in different directions, yet our roots remain as one.' dhriti told him but he was numb.

His brothers were laughing and joking like he never existed, they were in his land yet did not care.

He missed them but they did not he thought.

Yudhishthira's pov

It is one of the most painful thing in life to miss someone and not being missed back...

Everytime you miss someone,theres a silent ache in your heart which is definitely unbearable...

And the saddest part of missing comes when you know the person is somewhere on this earth but still you can not meet them you can not look into their eyes and explain how badly you want their at that point of time...

Recalling something about the person,you happen to laugh and in no time ,sometimes even as you laugh, you taste your own tears..

The more you want to avoid the thoughts of that person at that time the more thoughts pop up in your mind .. sometimes you want to cry out loud and sometimes you will feel like sitting quite and just recall those moments when you spend some beautiful moments with them..

Nothing will excite you not even your favourite things .. you will search for and consume everything that can erase thay thoughts

And belive me your life will appear worse than anything..

Everything that brought a smile to your face will now torture you.. every little thing will make you scare ,insecure .. you will do everything to calm your frustration but nothing will help you...

I thought of devika and them and everything i put on stake when i decided to leave, seeing them now feels like, he whispered

Without ever arriving. You, from where ever you were, you changed my life forever.

You were a stranger, yet, you were my soul.

You left an absence in my life.

Maybe you're a bird, flying, free.

Maybe you're the book I bought that day, maybe you were that tree. Maybe, you're the bright blue sky, maybe, you can hear me cry.

You may just be the clouds before the rain, maybe I am going insane.

The wet mud smells of you, what if you're soil, or the silent sounds of the night? Or maybe this fire is you, you could also be my light.

But I'd prefer it if you were a bird, because I believe somewhere in a parallel universe, you and I, are flying in this open sky, unaware of karma & responsibilites, away from the judgements of this society, there is life, and you I, devika flashed in front of my eye... at this thought.

He shaked his head vigrously to remove these thoughts before they kill him slowly... I looked at my sister's hopeful eyes, i was broken inside and their mere sight bought it all out, but i did not want to be weak, she was my sis and now she was my world... 

But suddenly everything went dark......

Everything changed the day, that day when they accused him of attempting murder on their life, his love said she hated him.

Author's pov

"they don't deserve you." dhriti whispered as he snapped back to reality. He realized he was holding out his hand towards them in an attempt to call them here.

She looked in his eyes and said "It is not weak to miss someone or pathetic to want to be missed."

Her words comforted as they head back to the palace, forgetting this happened, he fainted in her arms.... She picked him up and made him sit in front of her on her horse, it was hard, she rode her horse, keeping him behind her leaning on her on her horse and his horse followed...

She tried her best to not panic as tears blurred her vision..

Every morning from the window of my bedroom

I see a pigeon flying across the sky.

I don't know why it chooses to pass through my house.

I don't know why I stand at the window,

Waiting for it every day.

The pigeon gave her hope, 

was it too much?

that all she wanted was her brother to open up to her? She wanted to share his pain... 

She blinked her tears away, she needed to be his pillar of suuport, all his life, people assumed her brother to be perfect and burdened him with responsibilities. No one ever cared about his mental state, but now in her presence no one could do that. All his life he was pillar for his family but what happens when he breaks down? He never showed his emotions because he did not want people to worry for him, He is also human, she thought. She sighed as she reach the palace and lifted him up from the horse, good she was warrior she could easily lift him up to his room.

She sat beside him on his bed as she played with his hairs occasionally blinking away tears... After a few hours he fluttered his eyes open bringing hope for her also, his smile was everything as she wiped her tears..

He looked at her, sometimes there is no need for words, just the presence of a loved one is enough. Just the assurance that you are not alone. 

"Don't make me an outsider, you don't need to hide your pain from me..." she told him in a really soft voice.

Yudhi got up and embraced her as she broke down in his arms. 

"Bhaiya, seeing you like that, it kills me, seeing you- so- " her voice was lost, yudhi provided her silent comfort.

Oh shit- this was off-script, She should be the one comforting him and him breaking down, not the other way round.

For the first time she saw the protective elder brother in him, he had bottled his emotions for so long, so used to hiding his emotions that he still tended to her when his own hands were shaking..

"I thought you were ok- you were over them, I am sorry for not noticing bhaiya, I failed as a sis..." dhriti said between sobs and yudhi shook his head.

"You are the best sis anyone can have.." he said as he hugged her tighter than ever.

"Now go and wash your face, you look like a ghost." he told her as she punched him on the chest and pouted and left giving him a teary smile....

"Today I will be sleeping with you and I am informing you not asking." Dhiriti barged into his room as she threw herself on the bed once they reached the palace and yudhi shook his head at her antics.

He knew any of them would not be alright alone in this traumatic night, so he hugged her tight as she slept snuggling into him. 

"Kid" he whispered to himself when he looked at his sister sleeping like a baby as she snuggled more into him. He planted a kiss on her forehead and slept...

Memories don't hurt. Love doesn't hurt. It is the attachment that hurts. It is the expectation that hurts. It is the imagined future that is now broken that hurts.

~~~~~~

Phew last update for september...

Also incase of confusion. yudhi is not meeting the pandavas any time soon, not for a few years. My exams are coming up.

Vote and comment, it makes my day... pleaseeeeeeeeee.