TW: Murder and Attempted suicide

"Come on! You're being ridiculous!"

"Goddammit, Chase! You have to stop this!"

"Why!?" he didn't understand, "Oh, so you can do what YOU love but I can't!? How's that fair!?"

"It doesn't have to be fair! The difference is that I actually make money! Your little YouTube channel hasn't brought in anything! We're running on one income, Chase, and I can't DO THIS ANYMORE!"

Chase shook his head with his arms crossed, "It's not all about money"

Stacey looked like she wanted to punch him but instead, she just looked disappointed, "It is when you have a child to provide for. I can't do anymore overtime, Chase.  . . . . I can't do THIS anymore"

Chase stared at her, shocked, "Wait. . . what? What are you talking about?"

Tears started to prickle in her eyes, "I'm going to go live with my sister for a while. I'm taking Grayson with me"

He wished he had begged her to stay.

Chase threw a trickshot aimlessly into a mug. He made it in but he wasn't particularly happy about it.

He had just got off the phone with Stacey after doing another video. His channel was dying and he was running out of ideas.

He knew he had to get a job but his heart was screaming at him to keep trying with his channel.

His pride was overtaking him.

"Stupid fucking bitch" he always did hate Stacey's sister, "Putting ideas in her head."

He took another swig of his half-gone whiskey and snorted.

Chase knew he was drunk. The room was swaying. 

He was so angry. Of course he wanted to see his son but didn't he deserve to be happy, too? He could make it work, he knew he could. 

Why didn't Stacey just trust him?

He took another swig.

Suddenly, his phone rang and Chase chuckled humorlessly, seeing Stacey's name on the caller ID. He didn't care, though. Not tonight.

He wished he had answered the phone.

"She doesn't want to see you! Get out of here!"

"Dammit, Karen, fucking open the fucking door!" Chase hit the door with his fist, "I have the right to see my wife and son!"

"You lost that right when you refused to provide for them! You only think about yourself!"

"You need to mind your own fucking business, bitch!"

"My sister IS my business, asshole! Go drink yourself to death at the bar like you usually do already!"

Chase punched the door with his fist but forgot that it was a steel door and hurt his hand, "FUCK!"

Karen could tell what had happened on the other side, "Get off my property, Chase, or I'm calling the cops and I doubt you'd want to get another DUI!"

Chase held his hand, snarling.

"Fuck you, bitch" he muttered.

He knew Stacey and Grayson were inside but what hurt him the most was when he heard a small voice mumble on the other side.

"Auntie Kay, when's he gonna leave? I'm scared"

Chase's heart ached.

He stumbled for a moment before turning and running away back to his car.

He wished he hadn't gone there that night.

It was winter and snow was already covering the ground and streets.

Stacey had finally texted him that he could come over to Karen's house supervised to see their son.

He was very excited.

He already had a few drinks but he wasn't about to tell her that and lose his chance. He hadn't seen them both in many months.

Chase was already in his car.

Stacey said she was picking Grayson up from school and they'd meet at her sister's house. 

For once, Chase was happy to go there.

He shook his head, trying to shake off the heavy buzz he had. He had drank and drove before so he wasn't too worried about his ability to drive well enough.

He gripped ahold of the steering wheel tightly. 

Being winter, it had gotten dark a lot sooner around this time of day and people already had their headlights on.

'I should do that too I guess' he burped a little and switched on the headlights.

Just then, he hit a patch of ice and slid on the road a little.

"Fuck!" he gripped the wheel again and got back control.

He was almost there.

He shook it off again. He had to appear sober for Stacey.

This was his only chance.

Just then, his phone buzzed and out the corner of his eye, he could see it was Stacey texting him again.

Not really thinking anything of it, Chase picked up the phone and read the message, trying to keep an eye on the road as well, still.

'We stopped by McDonald's to get supper. On our way to Aunt Karen's now. Drive safe'

Before he could text to respond, a flash of light hit his eyes.

Chase looked up and realized he was in the wrong lane!

But it was too late. He crashed the vehicle into the other car in front of him, not being able to turn out of the way in time.

He wished he hadn't drove drunk.

Almost two years later

Chase had been charged with drinking and driving and vehicular manslaughter. Second degree murder.

He had crashed into his ex-wife's car with his son in her front seat. Apparently, he had missed a turn and ended up driving right into them. Grayson had been the one texting him for his mother.

The police found whiskey in Chase's car and took him in. 

He just got out of prison, doing his time.

He still had nightmares about that night.

He could hear whispers in his head, his conscience telling him how much he deserved what he got. He deserved so much worse.

He should have died in that accident, not them.

Karen had dropped off Chase's car at the prison for him and left. She still couldn't look him in the eyes after that night.

He didn't blame her.

Chase hated it but he drove to his old apartment. Apparently, Karen had taken pity on him and kept the rent up on the place.

It was her last good deed for him.

 The first thing he did when he got inside was open a bottle of whiskey that he had gotten at the convenience store before coming home.

The place was filthy and needed cleaned but he was too exhausted for that.

He sat at the table and drank down the entire bottle, trying to stop the voices.

He wished he hadn't drank that night.

Chase woke up in his car from another nightmare.

A red hallway with man on the other end of it.

"WHO ARE YOU!?" He had yelled to the man, "WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME!?"

But the man . .. no .  .. the thing turned its head, its eyes glowing green. It grinned and laughed, holding a knife in its hand, dripping blood.

Chase swore he could see his wife and son behind the creature on the floor, dead.

The thing suddenly stalked towards him but before it could reach him, Chase had woken up.

He had nightmares like that often since that night. The creature looked awfully similar to him.

One way or another, the creature had murdered his family. 

Chase wondered if it was his conscious punishing him. He HAD killed them after all.

What was the difference on the method?

He killed his family.

He deserved the nightmares.

Chase still hadn't looked for a job. He was supposed to but he still couldn't do it.

Why, even now, couldn't he take responsibility?

Why was he such a coward?

Oddly enough, he couldn't stay in his apartment very often. 

He stayed in his car most of the time. He ate there, slept there, did his business in gas stations or diners. He might as well lived there in that stupid car.

It was filthy by this time now. He hadn't removed any of the trash. He was lucky a cop hadn't busted him, otherwise they'd find the bottle of whiskey in the passenger seat.

After waking up now, though, he had it in his mind that he needed to go back into his apartment for something.

Today was a special day.

He was going to go in to get something of Grayson's that he had kept.

But as soon as he got to the door, he saw the eviction notice.

There was a lock on the door.

'When did this shit get here?'

That sure put a dent in his plans.

Oh well.

He walked back to his car, getting angrier by the second.

He got in and slammed the door.

Chase suddenly felt all of it bubble out at once and lost it.

He suddenly screamed and pounded on the steering wheel, punching it with all he had.

He didn't notice that he wasn't alone anymore.

Chase sighed heavily.

'I just wanted. . . one thing'

But the picture in his pocket would have to be enough.

He started up the car and drove.

'It's the anniversary today'

It still burned in his heart like before.

It tore him up inside.

The regret shredded him to pieces.

Finally, he came up to a forest. They had often went there long ago on hikes.

When they were still a family.

Together.

Chase got out of the car, grabbing his whiskey and the gun in the glovebox and started walking.

'It's all my fault'

He knew he was a terrible person.

The worst father.

But he couldn't stand being apart from them any longer.

After what seemed like hours of walking through the fallen leaves, he finally made it to the spot he wanted to be.

Snow was late this year. He wished there was snow.

There had been snow here when he proposed to her.

There was snow when he had killed them . . . . 

Chase sat back on his knees and made a small tower of smooth rocks.

Grayson always did love building towers with them, seeing how high he could get the tower to be.

On top of the small tower, Chase placed the picture that was in his pocket.

A picture of Stacey and Grayson.

His wife and son.

He'd never see them again. Not unless he did this. . . 

Chase took a swig of his whiskey. It was almost gone.

'When it's gone. . . . . it'll be time'

He kept drinking.

That voice was getting louder in his head.

Something was telling him not to go through with it.

He figured it was just his survival instincts.

No, he was done here.

The whiskey was gone.

He started to sway more. 

The forest around him felt like was spinning at this point.

He saw the gun, though.

'You shouldn't do that. It's not time'

Chase spoke back to himself, 'It IS time. I'm done. I can't do it anymore'

'Don't do it. I'm not done with you yet'

He didn't know what that meant but then again, Chase was drunk and not thinking clearly.

He reached for the gun.

Before Chase could grab the gun, though, he felt a sudden harsh pull.

The forest was abruptly gone.

The whiskey, the picture, the gun. . . 

Startled, Chase looked around.

He was on the roof of a parking garage.

'How did I. . . get here?'

Nobody answered him.

His mind suddenly felt clear, though. He felt sober.

'That's not right'

Chase didn't like that. He had to end it now.

He got up on the edge of the roof and looked down.

He was very high up.

This was it.

He started to take a step off the edge. . . .

"WAIT! DON'T DO IT!"

Before Chase could turn around, he felt something heavy on top of him.

He felt himself get pulled away from the edge.

His vision was blurred but he saw what looked like a man in a red hoodie wearing a blue mask.

This man. . ..  kind of . . . . looked like him?

Chase was already passing out, though, 'That's. . . . weird'

He wished he had tried to jump sooner. . . .

When he woke up, he was in a strange confined room with a bed, a small toilet and a table. A camera was in the upper corner of the room.

Hours later, a man had come in and started asking him questions. 

One of which if he had any regrets.

Yes. . . . . 

Yes, he did.