Mahal ko siya. Mahal na mahal pa rin but the moment he said those words to me, I got scared.

I got scared na baka nalilito lang siya, that his vision just got clouded because of the thought that he has children with me.

And also, I've thought of Isabella. Paano kung siya naman talaga ang mahal niya at nalilito lang siya ngayon?

I don't want to ruin his life again by letting him make a wrong decision.

I love him but I don't want to be selfish anymore.

Ever since that night ay halos hindi na kami masyadong nag-usap ni Alistair. I was avoiding him, yes. Dahil pakiramdam ko ay mas makabubuti 'yon sa kanya. He needs time to think.

Maglilimang araw na rin ang nakalilipas buhat ng araw na 'yon and we're already back in Manila. Bumalik kami dahil may kailangan akong asikasuhin and the twins went with me again, gusto ko rin naman talaga silang isama dahil hindi ako mapakali kapag malayo sila.

Alistair kept doing the same. He would go to the condo everyday and spend time with the twins, ang kaibahan nga lang ay hindi na kami masyadong nag-uusap.

"Saan punta mo?" Maya asked, kakauwi lang niya galing ospital at nakahilata sa sofa't pinagmamasdan ang dalawa na naglalaro sa lapag.

"I'll just meet some people for a case," sagot ko habang inaayos ang suot na sapatos.

She nodded. "Musta naman ang puso mo?"

"It's fine." Kaswal kong sagot.

"Sigurado ka?" She asked and raised a brow. "Hindi ba't masyado mo namang pinapahirapan ang sarili mo?"

I sighed. "Hindi naman, I just don't want him to make a wrong decision."

"Hay nako, pareho lang kayong nahihirapan e. Pag-untugin ko kaya mga ulo niyo, ano?" She rolled her eyes at natawa nalang ako nang mahina.

"Kayo ring dalawa, pag-untugin ko nalang kaya kayo?" I smirked and get up to get my cardigan on the sofa beside her.

"Iba naman 'yong amin e." She sighed.

"Aalis na ako," nakangiti ko nalang na sagot bago umalis.

I met the client in a company around BGC after that. It was just about a case I am going to handle. Mabilis lang natapos ang meeting and when I was about to go out of the building, my eyes caught someone familiar.

Si Isabella.

Mukhang nagulat din siya nang makita ako and I didn't expect that she would smile at me after that.

"Gertrude!" She smiled and approached me.

I smiled back. "Hi, Miss Isabella."

"Oh, no! Isabella nalang!" She muttered and I was surprised when she suddenly held my arm. "Actually, I want to ask. Do you have time?"

Tumango ako. "Yes."

"Then, can we talk over a coffee?" She asked with her friendly voice. Muli naman akong tumango bilang tugon.

Thankfully, the building has a cafe kung kaya't doon nalang kami dumiretso.

"I'm glad you let me talk to you, si Alistair kasi ayaw e. Baka raw kasi kung ano ang sabihin ko." She laughed.

I furrowed my brows.

"Gagong 'yon, akala mo naman ilalaglag ko mga iniyak-iyak niya sa akin noon, e ilalaglag ko naman talaga kung gaano siya ka patay na patay sayo. Damn that boy." She continued and sipped on her coffee.

"G-Gaano na ba kayo ka tagal na magkakilala?" I asked and looked away.

"Ah, 'yon! I think it's already been seven years, nagkakilala kami after his brother, Luke, died."

What? My eyes widened.

"Namatay ang kapatid niya?"

She sighed. "Yes, his brother was murdered."

Hindi ako makapaniwala. The past years must've been so hard for him. I feel so sorry.

"Nagkakilala kami pagkatapos noon, sa lamay mismo, kaibigan ko kasi 'yong namatay niyang kapatid. And I remember the first time I saw him, galit na galit siya sa pamilya niya. Despite not being in a good relationship with his brothers, he still wanted justice. He demanded that. Kaya rin siguro mabilis na gumaan ang loob ko sa kanya." She paused and gave me a small smile.

"I saw his struggles and his perseverance after that, 'yong pagsisikap niya para maayos ang sarili niya at makuha ang hustisya para sa kapatid niya. I became his friend. We helped each other. Halos pareho kami ng pinagdadanan e. Parehong kalaban ang pamilya." She looked up and blinked her eyes.

Habang tinitingnan siya at bahagya akong nanliit sa sarili ko. I somehow wished na ako iyon... ang kasama niyang harapin ang mga bagay na iyon.

"I like him as a person, Gertrude. At siguro kung hindi ko lang alam kung gaano siya ka patay na patay sayo, I would've fallen in love with him too. I was in fact considering it already when you came back pero napagtanto ko rin na hanggang doon nalang talaga. Love is not something that should be forced, right?" She chuckled.

My lips trembled as I try to absorb what she just said.

"Is he really still in love with me? H-Hindi ba't ikakasal na dapat kayo?" I decided to ask dahil sobra na ang pagiging kuryoso ko. Pakiramdam ko ay ito na ang paraan para malaman ko ang totoo.

"Isn't it obvious na patay na patay pa rin sayo ang gagong 'yon?" She chuckled. "Kasi para sa akin sobrang obvious e, tuwing mag-uusap nga kami ikaw ang bukambibig noon, kaya nasasapak ko. And about the wedding, hindi pa ba niya nasasabi sayo? That he only agreed to the wedding announcement because I begged him to, kailangan ko kasi iyon... kailangan din niya because he thought that there might be a chance na magpakita ka sa kanya kung malaman mong ikakasal na siya. That freak used every chances that came his way. Wala e, pareho kaming nakakadena sa nakaraang 'yon, but I'm glad that there's a chance for him to finally break free. Nandito ka na e."

It wasn't because of romantic feelings, iyon ba ang ibig niyang sabihin? So it's true...

"Ikaw lang ang mahal nun oy," dagdag pa niya at nginisian ako. "Nagpatattoo pa nga, shuta, akala niya hindi obvious, e obvious naman. Ulol, spear and gertrude. I bet alam mo 'yon." She laughed again.

I sighed and smiled a little. "I do."

Damn, Alistair.

"Mahal mo pa?"

Awtomatiko akong napatingin sa kanya nang itanong niya iyon. She smiled at me, like she was prompting me to answer her question.

"That man's too broken for me to fix at ikaw lang... ikaw lang ang may kayang gumawa nun sa kanya. Because you're his other half, Gi." She held my hand.

"Isabella..." I muttered, tears welling from my eyes.

She gave me a nod. "Don't worry about the wedding anymore, it's not meant for us because we don't love each other romantically."

She stood and gave me a tap on my shoulder.

"I hope you guys finally have it now... the happy ending that you both deserve." Nakangiti niyang sabi.

Hindi ko naman inaasahan na ang naging pag-uusap namin nang hapong iyon ang makakapagpabago ng isip ko. Pakiramdam ko ay bigla akong natauhan.

Ano pa nga ba ang inaarte ko? I love him and he said he still loves me. Pareho naman kami, kaya bakit nga ba? Bakit nga ba pa pahihirapan pa namin ang isa't isa?

I felt so dumb. I'm just hurting him over and over again.

"Mommy!" The twins immediately went to me when I got home.

"Umalis po si daddy, may pupuntahan daw po siyang importante, and he promised us that he'll bring our favorite cake home." Gab said while smiling.

I smiled back and gave her a gentle pat on the head.

"Okay, behave muna kayo d'yan habang naghihintay kay daddy ha? Magluluto lang ako. I'll cook daddy's favorite ulam." Nakangiti kong sagot bago dumiretso ng kusina.

I gathered the ingredients together and started cooking. I was humming the whole time I was doing it. I'm actually quite nervous dahil hindi ko alam kung paano ko ba sasabihin ang lahat sa kanya... that I want him back in my life and I want to marry him, too.

Pero bahala na.

Napaigik ako nang bigla kong mabitawan ang hawak na babasaging plato.

"Hala, mommy! Nabasag po ang pinggan?" Dylan asked.

I panicked and picked up the broken pieces, napalakas naman ang pagsagi ng kamay ko sa isang piraso kung kaya't nasugatan ako.

"What happened?"

Napatingin ako sa dumating and I saw Sorel standing behind the twins. Hindi ko namalayang dumating pala siya.

"Ang lamya," he chuckled and went close to me to help me. "Nasugatan pa nga, gamutin mo na nga muna 'yan. Ako na rito."

"Okay lang naman 'to, malayo sa bituka oy." I tried to laugh it off. "Napadalaw ka pala?"

He smiled as he carefully picked up the pieces at isinilid ito sa supot.

"Broken ka raw sabi ni Maya. Kausap, ayaw mo?"

What? I laughed.

"Broken, amp. Hindi uy. Tsaka, okay na!" I smiled at him.

"Really? So you've finally made up your mind?" He asked and cocked his head to see my eyes clearly. "That's good."

"Mahal ko pa rin e." I muttered and sighed.

"Halata naman e, una palang alam ko nang wala akong pag-asa." He chuckled. "Kidding aside, ang gusto ko lang naman talaga ay makita kang masaya kasama ang taong mahal mo. Yes, I know that you can live without that person, but it's certainly much better to live with someone you love and grow old together. Lalo na kung pwede pa naman talaga."

I raised a brow and chuckled. "Ikaw din naman ah, mag girlfriend ka na! Tsaka bawasan mo na ang pagdikit sa amin, kaya natatakot ang mga babae e, iniisip kasi na pamilyado na!"

"Gago, ang harsh. Kahit naman lampas na ang edad ko sa kalendaryo, 'di pa rin naman ako nagmamadali."

We were just laughing with each other when a call disturbed both of us, galing iyon sa phone ko at agad kong sinagot nang makitang si Maya ang tumatawag.

"G-Gigi." She immediately answered with panic in her voice. My heartbeat immediately raced because of that.

"Anong nangyayari? Okay ka lang?"

"Gigi, h-huwag kang mabibigla. Si Alistair..."

What? Napatakip ako ng bibig.

"A-Anong nangyari sa kanya?"

My body started trembling.

"N-Naaksidente siya, Gi. Nasa emergency room pa rin hanggang ngayon. My colleagues are treating him now, hindi ko pa rin alam ang lagay niya. Bumaliktad daw ang sasakyan pagkatapos banggain ng isang malaking truck..."

I fell to my knees after hearing that, ni hindi ko na naintindihan ang sumunod niyang sinabi.

Naaksidente si Alistair, iyon lang ang naintindihan ko at hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko.

I feel so scared.

The twins kept on clinging on me, asking if what's wrong. Mabuti na lang ay kasama namin si Sorel at siya na ang nagpatahan sa kambal.

"G-Gusto ko siyang puntahan, please." I muttered as I tried to stand.

Sorel gave me a nod at siya na rin ang nagdala sa akin sa ospital. Nang makarating ay agad kong nakita si Maya sa entrance. Agad akong lumapit sa kanya at kumapit sa damit niya.

"W-Where is he? A-anong lagay niya?" I asked with my trembling lips.

Maya sighed and held my hand, tila ayaw sabihin sa akin ang nangyari. But I didn't want that. Tumakbo ako papasok kahit na hindi ko alam kung saan ako pupunta.

"Hey, Gi! Calm down!" I heard her following me, pero patuloy lang ako sa pagtakbo.

I want to see Alistair. I want to be with him. I can't lose him. Hindi ko kaya!

"Hey, dito dito." She muttered and pulled me to the other side, which I figured out was the emergency room based on the sign.

"N-Nasaan siya, Maya? Gusto ko siyang makita!" I asked again as tears kept falling from my eyes.

She sighed. "Iba talaga kapag in love e 'no, nagiging OA?" She chuckled.

Kumunot naman ang noo ko.

"Hoy, Alistair! Kailan ba ang kasal? Nakakaloka ha!" She muttered as she pulled the curtains.

My vision was still blurry because of tears but I immediately saw Alistair, nakahiga sa kama at ginagamot ng mga nurse ang sugat sa mukha at dibdib.

Agad akong lumapit sa kanya, wala nang pakialam sa sasabihin ng mga nakakita. He looked surprised when he saw me ngunit kalaunan ay ngumiti rin na tila natuwa na nakita ako.

"Tangina mo! Lagi mo nalang ako pinag-aalala, noon man o ngayon, ganyan ka pa rin!" I angrily muttered and punched her arm twice. "Gago ka! Muntik na akong atakihin sa puso! Wala ka pa rin talagang pinagbago!" Inis ko pang dagdag.

He was just chuckling the whole time I'm muttering those words. Nakakainis, hindi niya lang alam kung gaano ang pag-aalala ko.

"Tangina talaga, akala ko patay ka na o kung ano nang nangyari sayo!" Pagpapatuloy ko.

"Sorry na, were you that scared?" He gently asked while holding my hands, tila gusto nang tumigil ako sa pagsuntok.

"Tangina, mukha bang hindi?" I asked back and kicked the bed.

"I'm sorry, baby. It's just an accident." He whispered and tried to hug me.

"Tangina mo! Paano ako hindi matatakot? Eh mahal na mahal kita! Damn! I don't want to lose you... not again." I uttered as my hands fell to his lap.

He stiffened a bit.

"Tama ang narinig mo. Mahal kita. Sa katunayan, ni minsan ay hindi naman nawala iyon. And I'm sorry... that it took me a long time to say those words again." I sighed and tried to look at him in the eye.

Gulat pa rin siyang nakatingin sa akin.

"Gigi..." he muttered and held my face gently.

Tears fell from my eyes.

"I don't want to be chained in the past anymore. I want to start a new life already... with you. We've already been through a lot at ayoko nang mawala ka pang muli sa akin... sa amin." I uttered.

"I want to marry you." I added and leaned forward for a kiss.