The hills passed by. His hair was constantly being pushed back by the stubborn wind. He couldn't hear anything over the sound of the wind being cut through, as the car sped up the highway. Omkara was returning with a heavy heart. This feeling wasn't entirely new. He had felt this same heaviness when almost an year back he was flying back to India from the States, after leaving behind Gauri. Throughout the flight he was trying to figure out how and when he had got so close to Gauri that it ached to leave her behind.

However, today, it was slightly different. This time his circumstances weren't forcing him, he was forcing himself. It just didn't seem right. Maybe it was the fragments of the old Omkara that still were adamant. He took a deep breath and rested his head back, letting everything pass just like the hilly terrain and sporadically spread trees and vegetation.

* * *

Gauri wasn't looking forward to Mumbai anymore.  On their second day at Mumbai, her father had informed her, that they were going to stay at the Oberoi's residence for the remnant of their trip. After a quick inspection of a penthouse he owned in the Bandra area of Mumbai, they were headed to the Oberoi's place. 

All the excitement that Gauri had for the city had died down. She was angry with her father and Omkara, and done with her sardonic fate. 

She felt bad for Tarun when last night she had told him that her father wasn't looking at him as his prospective bridegroom but his cousin Omkara. He had simply smiled and buried the topic saying she had made a friend she could always count on. 

How she wished that she could magically have an alternate life. A life where she was a simple girl trying to make it on her own, finding love in someone who truly cared for her. 

Her eyes widened as they neared the mansion where the Oberois lived. It was huge and magnificent. She somehow had a hard time picturing that as Omkara's home. She had never really assumed him to be such a big shot. She remembered the small cost apartment back at New Jersey and then looked at the mansion whose one room would probably equate tether quaint flat. Seemingly, she knew nothing about Omkara. 

Quite right!

* * *

Omkara watched on exasperated as his mother refused to give up her toxic way of life. Shivaay was trying to convince her to join the rehabilitation programme, the same one that years back had helped Omkara cope up with all he toxicity in his life. Omkara could only quietly watch. The mere thought of his mother being away from home was bothersome. More than that, he knew what kind of battle it was — to change your way of life, to force yourself to find light in the pitch darkness.

"Om!" Shivaay pleaded glancing at him, begging him to say anything to persuade his mother.

Omkara looked at Shivaay helplessly.

Shivaay turned to the lady again. "Badi Maa, please don't do this to yourself. You don't deserve..."

"Yes, Shivaay. I don't deserve the kind of disrespect I get in this house. This was supposed to be my home but it is not. I have come to this point in life where you want to kick me out of this house. How are you different from Tej?" She snapped in irritation. 

Shivaay glanced at Omkara, pleading him to speak up. 

"Mom, please don't compare Shivaay to Mr. Tej Singh Oberoi." Omkara spoke up looking at Shivaay.

Shivaay looked at him unconvinced. Before Shivaay could continue to say anything convince Jaanvi, Anika walked into the room.

"Shivaay!" She said looking a little tensed.

"What?" He asked.

"The Vermas are here, Bade Papa is with them." She spoke, her gaze drifting towards Omkara. " Gauri and her father." She rephrased and then added, "The servants have been asked to prepare two guests room. They are staying here."

"Who are they?" Jaanvi asked confused.

Shivaay glanced at Omkara who looked visibly disturbed by the news. He inhaled sharply, before explaining whatever Tej had been upto in the past few days.

"I can't belive he did that to Sujeet again!"

"What do you mean again?" Omkara asked.

"It's happened in the past two. There was some farm lands that Tej had claimed rights to. It happened when you were all kids. Technically, it had to go to Sujeet and his first cousins but Tej claimed rights as it was ancestral property. It's been bad blood between the since then."

A silnce fell in the room. It was interrupted by a househelp who came by to inform them that Tej had requested Shivaay and Anika to come down and greet the guests. 

Jaanvi scoffed asking Shivaay and Anika to go. The family had come to being individuals who couldn't stand together living under one roof. The two moved out, silently.

Omkara glanced at his mother. 

"You also think I should go away to that rehabilitation center?" She asked softly.

"I don't know Mom. But I think it will be good for your health." Omkara answered honestly. He had no clue about his own life, how on earth could he probably advise someone else.

"Why are you so disturbed?" She asked, placing a hand on his.

Omkara turned to meet his mother's gaze. She seemed to be very much in control of herself despite whatever amount of alcohol she had already taken since the morning. He started narrating everything about Gauri. Talking about her, somehow helped him put his perspective and feelings into words. It gave him a clarity of sorts.

"You are not marrying her only because Tej wants this wedding to happen. Is that it?" She asked afrer inferring the situation.

"Yes and no." Omkara answered. "I mean, ..." He paused reluctantly. "I don't know what I actually want."

"You're scared of a marriage." Jaanvi sighed.

"No." Omkara countered, finding no words to express his conflict.

"Okay, so you're not ready. Then why are you so bothered and disturbed?"

"Because..." His voice trailed. "Doesn't matter." Saying that he stormed out of the room. His mother was right. He feared that he wasn't relationship material, just like his biological father. He feared that just like his mother he'd be left all empty if he gave in to love. His head was so heavy that he almost felt that it would burst like a filled cloud. 

His gaze went down. His steps faltered. He placed his hand son the railing and looked down at the living room where tea and snacks were being served to the guests. His eyes landed on Gauri. She was timidly looking around trying to keep a smile on her face. His mind brought to surface the memory of the night he first met her. 

It was like she knew he was watching and her gaze went around the room and then up. Their gazes meeting. Omkara was caught. He quickly tore his gaze away and moved towards his room. Why was everything making it harder for him, making his struggle seem like a losing battle.

* * *

Omkara walked towards the out house to his art room. He had tried to keep himself away from the guests throughout the entire day. He had an heated argument with his namesake father. 

Tej Singh Oberoi had lost his mind. He didn't want Jaanvi to meet the Vermas. He wanted her to go away to the rehab center tonight. He had lied to the Vermas that Jaanvi was out of town visiting her relatives. Omkara wondered how the man didn't see how much he had destroyed and how he still managed to take decisions for them. He was trying to convince him how good Gauri was, the irony was he barely knew her.

Omkara locked himself in the art room and began painting. 

A few hours rolled by. It was past dinner time but Omkara didn't budge. He was hungry but he was more stubborn. It knocked again for the third time in the past hour. 

"Shivaay, please go away!" He muttered annoyed.

"It's just me Om!" Came Anika's voice.

Omkara let out a deep breath and placed the brush down.

"Let me in, please!" She sold from the other side of the door.

Omkara picked up the hand towel wiped his hands and walked to the door. Anika stood their with a covered plate. His gaze met hers.

"I know you need space, but I think yoi also need food. If you stay hungry when you're angry it becomes disastrous. And then headache follows. And.."

"I get the point." Omkara muttered.

"Was your hands before eating maybe? I am sure the paint doesn't taste nice."

Omkara rolled his eyes and walked over to the wash basin.

Anika followed him in. 

"Why don't you just try to accept it?"

Omkara used a fresh hand towel to wipe his hands. "Accept what, Tej Singh Oberoi?"

"No." Anika answered placing the plate on the table. "The fact that you have feelings for Gauri."

Omkara was ready to argue that, but she didn't let him speak.

"I know, I am the last person who'd be eligible to give advice. But, Omkara, I have been there. That feeling when you do everything in your control to avoid because you're scared of all the pain, complexity and fear of being left alone at a later point of time. But the more you try and run, the stronger it's going to start chasing you. And when you're tired, the beat time is gone you realize how stupid you've been to run away from it. And all you want is to go back in time and take that leap of faith." She tried to force a smile, blinking away her tears.

"You love her, Omkara. You already do, I have seen the way you look at her. And maybe she likes you too. She's here, Bade Papa and her father are talking about your marriage, it's all in your favor Omkara, don't run away. Tomorrow you'll regret it. You'll regret running away because you held on to your stubbornness. Things don't go back to being the same. Reversing time is not an option." She let out a shaky breath and looked away. "I will get going, ring up if you need anything." Saying that she walked past him.

Omkara turned to look at her retreating figure. He remembered the day when he had tried to convince her to take the step towards Shivaay because that idiot wouldn't. He remembered distinctly, how she said that she didn't have the courage to face yet another rejection because she had been rejected all her life. 

He didn't have to face the fear of rejection because he knew Gauri wouldn't reject him. He sat on the couch reflecting on Anika's words. 

His conflict was slowly leaning towards one side — the side that had Gauri. 

Okay, from next chapter onwards I think this will pick up pace. I hope you like what's going to come.

Feedback is more than welcome. I guess the story dragged a little in the past two chapters or so. But it was necessary to describe the conflict that Omkara's facing, in my view.