✿ ✿ ✿

"A smile is the easiest way out of a difficult situation."

—Sakura Haruno

✿ ✿ ✿

In front of her was a long, full length mirror, mounted on a wooden stand painted a rustic white, matching her room's accents.

"Sakura," the girl said to herself, fingering the long hair she took years to grow out, "you are the most beautiful, confident, strongest girl in the world. No one can tell you how large your forehead is, how your hair isn't as straight as Ino's, or how your body is like a boy's..." She trailed off, staring at her reflection and smiled widely. "And no one can—"

From outside of her room and in the downstairs kitchen, she heard a voice that made her jump. "Sakura, you have to leave soon! You wanted to get to the Academy early, since it's your last day, remember?"

"I'm coming, Okaa-san," Sakura replied in an upbeat tone. She glanced at herself once more before before leaving her room and going down to stairs very quickly, coming into her mother's sight.

"Here, Sakura, you'll be late if you don't leave right now, so here's a slice of toast. Get going!" Mebuki Haruno handed her daughter toast, then kissed her promptly on the forehead before opening the door for her.

"Thanks, Okaa-san! I'll see you later; hopefully I'll be a genin when I come back!" She laughed, then ran out the door. Immediately, her grin fell as she straightened up, walking down the backroad, just breathing and taking in her surroundings peacefully. It had been a while since she'd had free time, because of schoolwork. She would probably be late, but knew Iruka wouldn't be able to start class until everyone was there. Naruto would be there after her.

Sakura smiled, taking a deep breath that reached the bottom of her heart, and let it out, her eyes closed and her hands clasped behind her back. After a while, she decided it would be better to get to the Academy soon, and soon set off, politely apologising whenever she accidentally brushed against a civilian.

As soon as she reached the door to her classroom, Sakura plastered a smile on and slid it open, stepping in quietly and bowing to man at his desk. "Gomen, Iruka-sensei. I lost track of time." She turned back to the loud class after getting a nod from her teacher, and walked towards them. Then she spotted him.

"Sasuke-kun!" Sakura's eyes lit up as butterflies in her stomach rose to her chest, creating a tightness she couldn't really explain; only that it happened when the dark-haired boy was around. She pushed through the other students and sat next to him, looking ahead at the blackboard as she rested her elbow on the table to support her head. Every once in a while, she would glance shyly in the corner of her eye to stare at the boy. Just like always, Sakura sighed happily and daydreamed, thinking of different scenarios of her and her precious Sasuke-kun. If only for a moment, or wherever she saw Sasuke, she could forget about the heavy heart and weight she carried with her.

She was so busy sighing and thinking that she didn't notice the dark-haired boy glance at her curiously.

✿ ✿ ✿

They thought her life was perfect. She shouldn't have anything to be sad about. She had a family, was on the same team as her crush, and was doing everything she had ever wanted. She knew that she didn't have a tragic background, like her teammates, but that feeling of sadness and dread and emptiness was still there.

It was always there, along with the feeling of inferiority, as time progressed. She felt so useless. She wanted to help Tazuna and Naruto while he fought against Haku. She wanted to tend to Sasuke's wounds, but he hissed at her, telling her she was weak. Sakura had always known it, but when the person she idolised told her that, she completely crumbled. As unfortunate as it was, she completely relied on others to fuel her self-confidence. She relied on others to feel good.

But most importantly, she just swallowed the embarrassment and humiliation, not letting them see her tears. They could call her names, but she would never let them see her cry. Instead, she smiled. Just smile, and no one will tell how much you're hurting, she thought to herself.

"When they tell you you're weak and pathetic, it does a number on you. They push and prod at your insecurities, not even realising how much it takes for you to get up in the morning," Sakura wrote in her letter, swallowing the lump in her throat before shaking her head and crumpling the paper.

✿ ✿ ✿

Her hair was gone. Three years, gone. However, it was in that moment when she felt like she was empowered. Although twelve inches of hair were cut off crudely by herself, Sakura felt better than ever. She was protecting her teammates, who were constantly protecting her. Even after being kicked repeatedly by the Otogakure-nin, she felt good. Even after receiving a black eye, she felt courageous. Even after her body ached just about everywhere and would wake up covered in bruises, Sakura felt important. She felt strong. She felt like she was...enough.

And then Sasuke woke up from his deep sleep, and proceeded to nearly kill that shinobi until she begged him to stop. Her pride in her accomplishments was replaced by worry as soon as he collapsed again.

✿ ✿ ✿

She felt strong and important and proud to say that she would have given up her life for her teammates, especially if it was Sasuke. When she saw Gaara's hand made of sand coming towards him, her body moved on her own. She was ready and totally prepared to die, her face stern and grim instead of teary and distressed.

As she closed her eyes and the grip on her whole body tightened, she was relieved that it would be her and not Sasuke or Naruto. Maybe she was enough to be used as a decoy for one of them. The last thing she heard in her mind was the loud yell of, "Chidori!"

✿ ✿ ✿

When she watched Naruto and Sasuke flying towards each other, she choked out a sob and her body moved on its own once again, propelling her forward and in front of her two boys. She remembered her own hysterical shriek as she begged the two to stop fighting in a single word: "Stop!"

Kakashi managed to get there in time so she only had a few burns from Sasuke's chidori. Naruto shook her and demanded angrily why she had stopped them, and their sensei chased after an angry dark-haired boy. Eventually, Naruto stormed off when she only smiled at him and told him she couldn't let her teammates kill each other.

As soon as she was sure they were all gone, she collapsed on the rooftop, breathing in heavily, her whole body shaking like a leaf. What if I'm not enough next time to stop them? Before she could stop herself, vomit rose up her throat and splattered against the hard concrete as she sat there, her knees dirtying while she wound her arms around herself.

✿ ✿ ✿

She expected him to leave. Despite being pegged for the innocent and incredibly oblivious member of Team Seven, Sakura was observant and knew how to read just about everyone, including Sasuke. He was getting more and more nervous, she could tell. For Naruto, he wouldn't ask anyone to get ramen with him. For Kakashi, he would readjust his hitai-ate over his eye and smile. For Sasuke, he would become a little more compliant with others, for the sake of not fighting.

The night before he left, he allowed her and Naruto to take him out to eat at Ichiraku's. He talked a little more than usual, and verbally agreed with Sakura in an argument at whether or not a tomato was a fruit for a vegetable. Despite knowing he was up to something, Sakura beamed whenever he gave an approving nod towards her. 

The next night, she waited at Konoha's gates, knowing she would probably get sick. In the morning, she woke up on a bench, a flood of memories crashing down as if breaking a dam.

She should not be feeling like this. She didn't need to rely on another to feel good about herself, so why? Why did her chest hurt, almost like it was being stabbed repeatedly? Why did she have to be so attached? Why didn't she have the strength like Naruto, to stop him? But most importantly, why wasn't she ever enough?

He didn't even explain to her why or what he was thanking her for.

With a heavy heart and disappointment slowing her down, she told the new Hokage that Sasuke Uchiha had left the village.

✿ ✿ ✿

It was when Naruto was lying in the hospital that she finally resolved to be enough. That miraculous feeling had come once in a while, like when she protected her team in the Forest of Death, or when she shielded Sasuke from the Suna shinobi with the unsettling eyes, but those were fleeting.

As she stared blankly at the blonde boy after rearranging the flowers next to his bedside and shushed him. He looked up innocently and confused. "What's wrong, Sakura-chan? I said I'd get Sasuke-teme back, —ttebayo!"

This time, instead of smiling and telling them everything would be alright, she found a burning resolve deep inside of her as she got up from the chair, the scraping noise barely even registering from the pounding in her ears. Instead of smiling, her mouth was set in a straight line and her eyes were fiery with determination. "No, Naruto. I will bring Sasuke back. Together, we will. You'll just have to wait a little while." And with that, she walked out of his hospital room, sliding the door closed, and walked into the Fifth Hokage's office to ask for a favor. 

✿ ✿ ✿

She was stronger now. She was ready for anything. She was enough. Sakura didn't have to constantly worry about what others thought, because those that tormented her for years, she realised, really had problems of their own and took them out on her. Sakura was never ugly. She was never weak.

As Sakura repeated the same words she always did to herself every morning, she finally believed them. As she stood in front of the cursed mirror that she hated as a child, Sakura repeated those now revised words: "Sakura, you are beautiful, strong, and confident. You don't worry about what others think. You don't rely on others to make yourself feel valued. You are enough."

Then she set off on the mission to retrieve the Kazekage, where she ended up being the first to kill an Akatsuki member, Sasori. It was hard to quash the sense of pride when she used squeezed his heart into mush. She was finally useful. She was finally enough.

✿ ✿ ✿

✿ ✿ ✿

They tried to keep her in the background. They told her to heal herself. They told her that they could handle it. That they didn't need her, despite the hundreds of thousands that were lying on the cold, hard ground, most likely waiting to die. They needed her.

All she could hear was, 'You're never enough.' But instead of the many times when she would listen, Sakura ignored them, and jumped up on the same slab of stone they were on. She was not the same little girl that she had once watched their backs. She was enough for them, she was enough for herself, and she didn't care who didn't think so. At least, that's what she thought at that time. There was still something, or someone, burrowed deep in her heart that she still looked to in order to feel validated.

Her heart was practically out of her chest when he smirked proudly at her after she had crushed the ground into oblivion with a single punch.

The surprised exclamations of the soldiers she was healing made her practically glowing with pride when she summoned Katsuyu and began mass-healing the moment her Byakugou seal was complete. Their approval blinded her at that time.

However, in that moment, Sakura felt like she was on top of the world. She felt awesome. She was enough.

✿ ✿ ✿

She had looked on in spite as her two teammates, that were always in the spotlight, decide to settle their feud with a final battle. They turned their backs on her, leaving her behind as they moved to where they had once fought years ago. Naruto was already moving away, with Sasuke close behind him.

It was in that moment when she finally had some time to process everything and the small piece of insecurity deeply rooted from within her, tracing back to the genin days, came out.

Before she could stop herself, tears spilled from her eyes, ignoring the patronising looks from both her sensei and blonde teammate as they stopped in their tracks. The little genin she'd thought she had left behind emerged, destroying the entire strong façade she had built for years, and all she received from the man that she loved was, 'You're so damn annoying.'

And then her heart was pierced by something much deeper than another rejection, something much darker that changed her. The last thing she remembered was, 'Will I ever be enough?'

✿ ✿ ✿

Nothing could prepare her for the day Sasuke Uchiha said sorry. It was when she was healing him, his left arm gone, the price for taking his best friend's right.

She had told him to stop talking so she could focus, but again, he ignored her. Sakura watched as his eyes softened when he looked at her, full of remorse and sorrow that hit close to home, so she only smiled and croaked out a hard-ass reply of, "Damn right you're sorry."

Then she sat up and gave them a hollow smile as she wiped away tears she didn't know what they were there for. The small wedge of hope that was once there was now gone. However, for old times' sake, she thought satirically...

This time, it will be better. This time...I...

✿ ✿ ✿

the end.