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Type Five: The Loner

Seriously? I had no idea my type was called The Loner. Fitting, I suppose.

Core motivation: The fear of not having enough.

Coping strategies: Taking refuge in the inner world, minimising needs and using resources economically.

Fundamental needs: Knowledge, being an independent thinker, self-sufficiency, security, privacy.

Enneagram personality type 5 is one of the most introverted types. People with type Five personalities need a lot of time alone to "recharge" and process information.

Fives are overwhelmed and fascinated by the outside world. On the one hand, they feel that the world's demands and other people's needs and expectations are too intrusive and tiring. But on the other hand, they are also the source of mental stimulation and knowledge.

Fives believe that to be able to deal with the world, they need to acquire as much knowledge as possible. As a result, they are often stuck in this preparation mode, constantly thinking and analysing things but never really living their life to the fullest.

To protect themselves, Fives do the following:

- They avoid getting emotionally involved with other people.

- They minimise their needs and make the most of the resources they have.

- They spend lots of time observing and studying the world without participating in it.

Staying emotionally detached and focusing on their thoughts and rational analysis gives Fives the illusion of control.

In reality, many Fives are incredibly vulnerable. However, they maintain a calm demeanor to convince themselves and others that they are on the top of their game and can't be easily thrown off balance.

If there is a particular person or situation that is more likely to stir up their emotions, Fives will typically do everything to avoid it.

Fives fear that other people expect of them more than they are ready to give and prefer to stay alone.

Many Fives take pride in their frugality and minimalistic lifestyle. Be that their financial assets, their physical or emotional energy — Fives don't want to run out of their resources.

Not only are Fives careful with their money, but they are also very selective when it comes to their social encounters.

Fives decline more invitations than they accept, and very few people are allowed into their world. If they are close to someone, that would usually be other introverts with similar interests. In fact, the easiest way to connect with a Five is to share knowledge or interests.

To the Five, knowledge is power in its most secure form. Fives enjoy observing the world, researching things, gathering and analysing data. However, their learning style is very passive, and they never really participate or show up for life. In the Five's mind, this passive attitude combined with knowledge and education protects them from all kinds of imaginary disasters — most notably depletion of their resources. 

Fives may seem cold and distant, but in reality, their need for maintaining this cold demeanor stems from their vulnerability and fear of getting their feelings hurt. Fives may desire love, but at the same time, they believe that loving someone is dangerous because it has the potential to disturb their peace and deplete their emotional resources. Besides, they are well aware of how little they are willing to give to others and do not believe they are worthy of someone's love and affection. The truth is that even Fives do not think of themselves as loving or lovable.

Not only do Fives avoid building close relationships, but they also go out of their way to avoid disagreements. Just like love, the conflict has the potential to stir up their emotions and become a reason for other people's expectations of them. To make sure this doesn't happen, Fives may not express themselves fully and will generally try to fit in.

- Fives may appear friendly and sociable, but in reality, they aren't being themselves — they are playing a role to fit in.

- Fives may appear very engaged and good listeners, however, it's their method of diverting attention from themselves. They keep other people talking by asking questions; this ensures that they won't have to talk about themselves or engage more fully.

- Fives rarely ask for help. This way, they ensure they won't need to give anything back. 

- Fives are challenging to get to know. They do not share details about their lives and often avoid direct answers when asked about themselves.

- Fives may not share their plans even with those who are close to them.

- To the Five, a day without learning feels like a day without food. 

- Although Fives may have many diverse interests, they will usually focus on one or two subjects until they become experts in their field.

- Fives find the intellectual world more fascinating than the physical world. They are the type of people who "live in their heads".

- Fives want to have their own opinions and fear that others may influence their judgment — another reason to limit their social interaction.

- Fives are the least materialistic of all the Enneagram types.

Likely MBTI for 5s:*

They usually test as INTP or INTJ.

Wings for the Fives:

5w4 (me) and 5w6.

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