Chapter 3 - Tomlinson

It’s disappointing that no matter how close we get, Robin still doesn’t pay me the slightest attention. I literally held her in my arms, and she still looked at me like I was a picture on the wall, nothing else. How I wish she would notice me, see that I would love to get to know her, to take care of her. Since I saw her the first time she has caught my eye, but she has never looked at me. And I started properly fancying her when I read her column for the first time. Although it was later when I finally accepted it. And after so long she still doesn’t know who I am. by now it gets really depressing.

I know that if I were a better player she’d notice me, but it’s hard. All my mates in the team are great, and it’s really hard to stand out. But I won’t give up, I can’t give up. I know I’m not bad, but I want to be the best. I’ve always wanted to be a great player, the greatest of them all, but now I have double motivation.

I take my trainingeven more seriously, doing my best at every practice. And even outside the field. I get up even earlier to go jogging and then I go to the gym, just to keep training before I go to class. In the gym I listen to the classes I record so I can study whilst I train.

I spend an hour every morning in the gym, running, lifting weight and even a bit of boxing. I always end up taking my shirt off because I get so into it, I sweat a lot. But after a week I notice how my endurance has improved, how I can run faster and for a longer period of time. And this small change encourages me to keep doing this.

I see Robin around campus, but she doesn’t see me. She’s with her best friend, but I don't know her name. I see them together all the time, so I assume they are friends. Sometimes she goes to the games as well. She’s a few centimetres taller than Robin with long and straight dirty blond hair. Most of the time I see her with a side braid. She has a similar style to Robin, with skinny jeans, comfy sweaters, and ankle boots. She’s very skinny, so skinny that she lacks curves whereas Robin has a more feminine body, like an hourglass, which if you ask me, drives me crazy.

I wish I could just approach Robin and ask her out. I definitely don’t have the guts and a part of me knows that for as long as I don’t stand out on the field, she won’t give me a chance. It’s not because she’s shallow or anything, I know she’s not. She can’t be. It’s just that she writes about athletes, the best ones. Those are the ones she pays attention to, so she can write her columns. Focusing on the other players won’t make her work better. By now I already know how important Robin’s column is for her and how seriously she takes her job for the Uni’s newspaper.

When she goes to the practices —yes, because as lame as it is I always notice if she’s around— I always see her with her pad and pen, taking notes. And taking pictures. She watches the game, but at the same time she works.

Maybe I should stop watching her and focus on the practice, but I can’t help it. I don’t know why she seems so fascinating to me. And I actually try to do this so the coach can see I’m trying harder than ever so he can put me as a right-forward. I’m currently playing as a right-back.

The star of our team is Connor, and he knows it, and loves it. He is an arrogant son of a bitch and I really have a hard time understanding why Robin ever gave him a chance. He gets late to our practices, he gets distracted during these, flirting with the cheerleaders or any other girl who’s around. Many admire him, but many more hate his guts. He doesn’t have any respect for anyone but himself. I mean, during today’s practice he knows Robin is around —she comes to see the practice sometimes— yet he still flirts with the leader of the cheerleading team. And Robin is there, watching.

I know, I know. I should be playing instead of seeing how sad she looks, how hurt that her ex boyfriend is shamelessly flirting with another girl in front of her, two weeks after they broke up. I also know it means nothing for Connor, because he probably never appreciated Robin and he was with her just to get in her bed, but still. The bloke could have a bit of decency and empathy.

It gets to the moment she can’t take it anymore and she stands up, walking away from them. I think she’ll leave the field but she only puts distance between herself and Connor, which gets her closer to me. And then she looks in my direction, right when I’m watching her. She catches me and I see her frowning, like she is trying to figure out who I am. A part of me is mortified that she caught me staring, but the other is disappointed that she still doesn’t remember me. We’ve met face-to-face, we’ve introduced ourselves, but she still can’t remember me.

Why can’t I stay in her memory?

Ashamed not only because she caught me but also because I can’t cause an impact on her, I turn around and focus on the training, on doing my best. I try not to look at her, but sometimes I can’t help it and she is looking in my direction, with the same puzzled expression.

I groan every times it happens.

Great, just great. Probably she’s just thinking I’m a lame player who was creepily watching her.  Just great.

+ + + + +

I open the door of the dorm I share with Harry and just walk straight in, ignoring my friend studying at his desk. I throw my bag to the floor and then I throw myself to my bed, facing the pillow, groaning.

“Why hello there. I’m great, thank you for asking, Louis. Yes, this is a lovely day!” Harry speaks up so cheerfully that it annoys me.

My response is a groan and I hear him chuckling.

“Practice didn’t go as planned, did it?” He asks next and I shake my head. “It went terrible?” He guesses next.

“Robin was there,” I say, my voice muffled with the pillow.

“And you humiliated yourself in front of her, didn’t you?” I groan again and this time he actually laughs at me. “C’mon, it couldn’t be that bad.”

“She caught me staring.” I sit straight and turn my head to look at him. “Why do I have to be such a lame creep?”

Harry laughs at me, shamelessly and I let myself fall back again to my bed, this time staring at the ceiling. “That’s because you have the biggest crush on her yet you haven’t even talked to her.”

“I talked to her the other day,” I defend myself and I hear him snorting.

“You’re right, you’re really lame. This is not you, this girl is turning you into a girl. We have to do something.” Now I snort at his words. “If you’re not gonna ask her out, then you gotta get over her. C’mon, let’s go.”

“What?” I inquire, raising my head just enough to see him standing up and closing his huge books. “I’m tired, Harry. I just wanna lay here and drown in my own stupidity.”

“I know that’s really tempting and although I’d love to witness your pity party, I like you better when you’re your normal funny self. The emo type doesn’t suit you, mate. So let’s go. Forget about this girl and find a new one.”

As if it were that easy. If I could get over this crush that fast I would’ve done it long ago. Probably when I realised I didn’t have a shot with Robin Summers. I know of some girls who have tried to flirt with me or catch my attention, but I’m just a stupid, cliché case of secondary love struck. And yes, I’m ashamed of myself, too. No need to point that out.

Harry grabs my arm and pulls me out of bed as fast as he pulls me out of my thoughts. “Let’s go. Put some normal clothes on and let’s go. We’re clubbing tonight.”

“I’m not in the mood, Harry. I rather—”

“I didn’t give you a choice,” he cuts me off sternly and I chuckle. “I’m serious.”

“Fine, fine.” I give in, walking up to the wardrobe to grab some jeans and shirt. I won’t go in my sweatpants and football team hoodie. Even I have limits.

I have no idea where Harry is taking me but I’m sure he’s going to introduce me to all the single girls at that party and maybe he’s right. Maybe I should really try to get over Robin. She clearly doesn’t like me back and it’s pointless to keep hanging on like an idiot for her.

As I showered at the lockers I only have to change and do something with my hair so it doesn’t look like I just woke up. Harry also gets ready and without telling me where he’s dragging me to, we leave our dorm. I take my motorbike  because it wouldn't be the first time Harry totally forgets about me during a party and then I have no way to go back to my room. I learnt the lesson the hard way. So I just follow him in his car until we park outside a bar. It’s near campus and we’ve come here before. It’s one of the places we visit the most and so do the rest of Manchester University’s alumni . It’s a really popular bar.

We walk in and it’s full already, as usual every Friday. I see many familiar faces around, dancing, shouting, laughing, but mostly drinking. I follow Harry to the bar and we ask for beers to kick off. We’ve barely got our big glasses when I turn right and see Connor. Although it’s past ten only, he’s drunk. I don’t even know how he can be like that when it’s not even midnight. I would say he’s stoned but not even that bloke is that stupid. Alcohol is one thing, illicit drugs is another completely different one.

I decide to dismiss it when I see curly brown short hair, before I see her face and before I notice how she’s trying to push Connor away. I tense up immediately as I keep seeing her struggling with the football player, but he keeps nagging her, all over her face.

I don’t realise I’m squeezing the handle of my glass so tightly until Harry shakes my shoulder. “Hey Lou, you okay?” He asks and only then I can tear my eyes away from Robin and Connor.

“That arse is bothering Robin,” I say through gritted teeth and Harry looks over my shoulder to take a look at the same scene I was witnessing before.

“Leave it, it’s not your business, Lou,” Harry advises me but I just can’t do.

“She clearly doesn’t want him near, don’t you see? That dick just can’t see it,” I add turning to look at them again and see how Connor grabs her by the waist and pulls her against his chest, just to try to kiss her. She keeps struggling, pushing him but he doesn't back off. “I can’t.”

“Louis!” Harry calls me but I’m already on my way.

I know it’s a bad idea and that this is none of my business, but I just can’t let that gigantic arsehole bother Robin in any way. I know she probably doesn’t even remember my name by now and I don’t think she even remembers I’m the same guy whom she caught staring at practice, but I don’t care. I have to do something.

This is going to get me in trouble.

But I don't care, I walk right up to where Connor is still trying to kiss Robin and in one swift movement, I grab her arm to pull her whilst with my other hand and using all my strength, I push Connor off of her. I catch him off guard so he stumbles back, which allows me to pull Robin behind my back and face Connor.

“Didn’t you get the message? She doesn't want to see you.”

“And what are you gonna do, Tomlinson?” He defies me, standing straight, almost a head taller than me.

I don’t think, I just blow my fist against his jaw before anyone can blink. I said it before, this is going to get me into so much trouble.

-:-:-:-

Dedication to @eclaire_von_choc because I'm really glad you like Robin <3 She's the best.

Bel, xx