Chapter 2 - Summers

I take a deep breath as I stare at my reflection in the mirror. “How many times has this happened?” I ask myself out loud, grateful that my roommate and best friend, Jamie, isn’t around.

This is not the first time I end up crying in my room because a dick decided to play with my heart. I have even got to believe I’m cursed or something because this happens awfully too often. I really know how to pick them, uh? I always fall for the son of a bitch who doesn’t take me seriously and who only wants to have fun. I’m not easy, you know? It’s not like I throw myself at every man because I want to have fun. I honestly like them, I try; but they never try to make it work like I do. They just get bored when they realise I look for something serious.

Is it that hard for a girl to find a good boyfriend? Someone who would want to listen to me, to take my hand and walk with me through Uni, proud to be seen with me, someone who would support me through my career? Apparently, it’s bloody impossible. Twenty years and I haven’t met a single guy who fulfils those requirements.

Jamie says it’s because I only pay attention to the douches and that I don’t pay attention to the real guys, the nice ones. But how can it be possible that every bloke I fancy happens to be an arse? No, it makes more sense that someone threw a curse on me.

“Robin Summers, this is no time to cry over a guy,” I tell myself taking another deep breath and wipe away the tears. “Connor is a douche and you’re way better off without him. You’re an independent girl who needs no man,” I add and smile at the end. That line will always make me smile. “You have work to do and you need to stop talking to your reflection,” I muse and shake my head.

With a last deep breath, I stand up and go to the bathroom to wash my face. I have to go to the paper’s room. I’m the head of the newspaper sport section in our University and I have to organise people. They need me at my hundred per cent. Heartbreak is something I’ll have to put at the back of my mind and move on. Plus, I have experience at that. Again, I’ve gone through way too many of these.

But no, I won’t give up on men. I know the right guy is somewhere and someday I’ll find him. Maybe I’ll go through other shitty relationships, but some day I’ll find a guy who will appreciate and respect me.

Someday…

I just wish that day comes soon. I don’t like to feel alone and since Jamie got a boyfriend, I spend more time on my own than I did before. That’s why spending my time working at the paper is gonna help me to feel better. Keeping myself busy always helps with the heartache.

I make sure my hair is in its place and I apply some foundation because my skin is red due to all the crying. I normally don’t wear makeup because I honestly have no clue on how to do so, but at least I know how to put some foundation on. That’s huge for me. Jamie always says I’m a lucky girl because I don’t need to wear makeup and I look fine. It surely saves me a lot of time and I only wear makeup for special occasions, with Jamie’s help, of course.

I leave my room keeping my head high. I’ve got my heart broken multiple times and no one has ever seen me hiding or with my eyes locked on the floor. Always proud, always confident even if I’m not. I just won’t let others see that.

Fool the rest, don’t let them see your weakness. That’s the way to win the game. Make them believe you’re the strongest, Dad used to tell me and that’s my life motto. Even if I’m not okay, everyone must believe I am okay. Strength is something everyone admires and admiration leads to respect.

The main reason I love sports that much is my father. He wanted a boy but I’m an only daughter and he managed to live everything he dreamt of with me. He took me to every game, the taught me everything, and I loved it. I enjoyed every single moment. We would always have fun at the stadiums, at every game. While all my girl friends were playing dolls, I was watching games with my father and watching my classmates play. I’ve always loved to watch games more than to play. All kind of sports.

That’s why I decided to become a journalist and specialise in sports. Because watching the matches has always given me such an adrenaline rush. There’s no way I can describe what I exactly feel when I’m watching a game. I feel alive, I feel bubbling with excitement. And I just want to share that feeling with people and through journalism is the best way I found.

I love all sports. From chess to the classic football. The Olympics every four years is what I look forward to. Having the last Olympics that here in London was a dream come true. I was there every second. Best days of my life.

So I got my love for sports from my father and my love for the written word from my mother. She is an English teacher and she was the one who suggested me to follow this path, combining my two passions into one.

Dad passed away two years ago due to a stroke. I still miss him, I always miss him but I feel him with me during every game. Sports will always be our bond.

I’m so lost in my thoughts that I don’t notice who’s coming in the opposite direction until it’s too late and I end up trapped in someone’s arms, someone who caught me before I could hit the ground with my bum.

“Ouch,” I say. I say someone because I feel a couple of arms around me, but it feels like I hit a wall.

When I look up I meet blue eyes that look at me intently, and a tentative smile. When I meet his eyes, his hold around my waist gets slightly tighter, but I do notice the difference. He is about a head taller than me, not built up but as my hands are on his chest, I know he goes to the gym constantly and he works out. He has very special features, pixie-like but very manly at the same time, with some facial hair that gives him a rougher look. He is handsome, with fair skin and light brown hair, the most amazing feature is the colour of his eyes, so blue, like the sky during summer. For a few seconds I can only stare into his eyes, completely caught.

“You okay?” He asks and his voice is special, different. It’s not deep and rough, but it’s not high. It’s just… special. It’s a voice that you’d recognise everywhere.

“Yeah,” I reply, still a bit taken aback. Maybe I’m too close, I should step back. But his hands are still on the small of my back, holding me close. “I was distracted, I’m sorry.”

“I was distracted, too, so don’t worry. I’m sorry, too,” he apologises and his smile grows wider. His eyes light up when he smiles.

There’s something oddly familiar about this guy, but I can’t pick that up. I have a feeling that I’ve seen him before, but I can’t remember. Maybe at some match, maybe in a class… but nope, I can’t remember.

“I’m Louis Tomlinson,” he introduces himself, still holding me against his body. I don’t do anything to step back. I think his name should ring a bell but it doesn’t. I just don’t know this guy.

“Robin Summers,” I reply out of courtesy. That’s what I’m expected to do.

“I know. I’m a fan of your work,” he says and I blink surprised.

I certainly didn’t see that coming. A bit more composed, I pull back and put a metre between us, pulling myself together. I’m too absent-minded, I need to focus if I’m going to talk to people.

“That’s great, I’m happy you like my columns. And talking about work, I have to go to the paper’s offices,” I tell him and he nods, losing his smile.

“Sure I just— never mind. Have a good day, Robin,” he tells me and I nod with a polite smile. I know he wants to say something else, but if he says never mind, then I won’t push further.

“You too, Louis. Thanks for not letting me hit the floor; that would’ve been embarrassing,” I say.

“No problem,” is his response and I nod before I walk past him, leaving the blue-eyed boy in the hall without a look back.

Cute guys are in thousands on the campus, more handsome than Louis Tomlinson, so I don’t make a fuss for the boy with the bluest eyes I’ve ever seen. I probably won’t see him again. I’m a girl who spends all her time close to the fields and courts. All I see are athletes. Clearly, Louis isn’t one or I would remember him.

Jamie says I should try dating other kind of guys, not athletes. She has a theory that all of them are full of testosterone and to become great at any discipline, they give up on their morals and brains. I completely disagree. I know not all athletes are the same, I just have a terrible taste.

Maybe next time I should pick that one who doesn’t catch my eye. That one player who doesn’t stand out, the one player no one pays attention to. That would save me loads of trouble, especially when it comes to other girls.

That was the problem with Connor. He wasn’t only dating me, he was also dating other girls. Seriously, how teenager of him is that? For a moment it reminded me of that movie John Tucker Must Die. I hope one day someone teaches him. Clearly, it’s not going to be me. I’m done with him and for now, I’ll focus on my work and classes.

The football tournament is approaching and I’m really, really excited. Out of all the sports, of course football is my favourite. There’s nothing that can compare to the adrenaline of that game. It’s just unique.

Oh come on, I’m not bad girlfriend material! I would let the guy watch all the games. Even more, I would watch them with him and get all excited! We could talk about sports all day. Why is that nobody wants me as a girlfriend but only as a fling? An adventure? Do I have a label of disposable on my forehead?

I stop and take a deep breath. Deeper than before because I’m freaking out again. This is the part I hate the most about all the breakups: all the questions I ask myself, all that attack to my self-confidence. I know I appear to be really confident, but inside I’m really insecure.

I am really grateful when I finally make it to the paper’s office where I find all my other co-workers. Editing, writing, designing, making decisions. This is a second home for me, I love the smell of paper just printed, the noise of people typing quickly, with vehemence. This place brings me peace.

I go to my desk and turn on my computer. Our Uni has a great budget for the newspaperand we have great equipment and great students working for it. We’re not one of these forgotten departments. We stand out. We do a great job and I’m proud of being part of this team. I may not be playing sports, but I live them in a very different and special way and I couldn’t want it any other way.

-:-:-:-

At the sidebar a picture of how Jamie looks like.

Dedication to @Emilydance for the great comment!

Bel, xx