Chapter 14 - Summers

 I’ve tried to keep my mind away from Louis Tomlinson. No, it’s not because he’s a bad boy or a bad influence, quite the contrary… he seems too good to be true. And that’s scary, believe it or not, because it’s so easy to fall for someone like him. He’s the kind of guy you take for granted, the one that doesn’t stand out but once you see him you can’t take your eyes off of him. He’s charismatic on a whole different level from all the other guys I’ve dated.

The other guys I’ve dated were nice when I met them, funny, witty and a bit cocky. Never too much. They flirted with me and made me feel special, but only for a while. I don’t know if they got bored of me or if they always pretended, but after a few weeks it was like they didn’t care anymore about making me feel special, they just forgot about me and hurt me without warning me before that it was over.

Louis doesn’t flirt with me, at least not like others have done. He’s sweet and it seems like he wants to know me before even liking me. If that even makes sense. But it’s like all about him is different.

So yeah, I’ve failed at keeping him out of my mind. I find myself constantly thinking of the few times we’ve spent together, the laughter, the jokes and all those smiles. The way he’s always treated me, with such tender and respect.

And I’ve also thought loads of what Jamie says about Louis having a crush on me. And yes, I find myself wishing it was true but then I fight myself saying ‘not yet’. I really, really want to be more careful this time. I don’t want to be deceived into another heartbreak. I’m not closing the door to love or anything, I’m just being careful this time; like I should’ve been all the time.

But even if I’ve thought a lot of Louis I haven’t seen him that much. I don’t know if that’s normal or just because now I hope to see him outside practice, but that doesn’t happen.

As the head of the sport section I always manage to go to the football practices because I like to see the progress of the team and how they are preparing for this season, and because it’s football. I always like to watch it.

During practice I see Louis and he sometimes looks in my direction, I wave at him with a smile but that’s it. That’s as far as it gets because he’s doing his best. He even stays longer after practice and I know he’s working really hard to become a regular so I don’t want to bother him by staying with him after practice. Plus, I don’t think we’re at that level of closeness. Staying with him would clearly point to something that is not happening between us.

But today is different, today he doesn’t stay longer and when I see him going to the lockers like all the other players I run to wait for him outside the building. I have no idea what excuse I’m going to come up for this, but I just want to talk to him, even for a little while.

It is a surprise but not that big of a surprise when he tells me he’s been made a regular. He’s worked so hard so it’s the most logical outcome and I’m so happy for him, so that’s now my excuse to spend time with him. But then when we go to his room for him to change and I see how happy Harry also is for Louis I realise how selfish I’m being for wanting to celebrate with Louis on my own. Harry is his best mate, it’s logical that he wants to celebrate with Louis as well. And that’s the main reason why I invite Harry to come with us, because that’s the best I could do for Louis, right? I’m not exactly disappointed when Harry declines but I try not to show that. I don’t want Louis to notice how eager I am to spend time just the two of us.

I don’t think I fancy Louis yet, but I wouldn’t mind if it’s him, the one I fall for in the future. I’m just praying he doesn’t turn up being a dick after I realise I do have feelings for him. I really hope I’m not cursed or something.

And as I hold tightly on to him while we drive on his bike, I pray even more that he’s not another disillusionment. I pray that he’s as good as he seems to be.

He parks in front of Supreme, the bar he brought me the first time and I get off first, taking off the helmet he lent me first. When my head is free and I’ve made sure my hair is where it’s supposed to be, I look at him and his eyes are on me while a lovely smile is on his lips. He looks happy but there’s something different in his eyes, they don’t look as happy as they usually do when Louis smiles at me like that. I wonder why, he should be the happiest today after being made a regular in the team.

“Let’s go inside?” he asks and I nod, still holding the helmet and he puts his under his left arm whilst his right hand goes to the small of my back, guiding me inside.

I don’t know if it’s because I’m hyper aware but the moment his hand makes contact with my body I feel a shiver going down my spine. The good kind of shiver, the one that leaves you all tingly inside and with your heart beating faster than usual.

Is it too cheesy if I say that I like how his hand feels on the small of my back? Like it belongs there? Yes? Okay, I won’t say it.

Louis guides me to an available table that’s in a nice place and helps me with my coat and then moves the chair for me. We leave the helmets on another chair and he sits across me. I would really like to congratulate his mother for his manners. He’s a real gentleman.

After a few minutes the same waiter that took our order the first time is with us again. He greets Louis with familiarity and then when he looks at me his smile is cheeky, like he knows something I don’t.

“What can I get for you today?” he asks and his eyes are on Louis who is slightly blushing. What do they know that I don’t?

“Supreme chips and custard apple juice?” Louis looks at me at the end of the sentence that is more like a question, waiting for my confirmation.

“Yes,” I say and I smile because he remembers exactly what we asked the first time, including my favourite juice.

The waiter nods this time, not even taking notes and I guess he’ll just memorise what we ordered. Once he’s gone Louis turns to look at me with a cute smile but I’m still curious for the way the waiter and Louis exchanged looks.

“Am I missing something?” I ask, my inquisitive strike coming to surface. Louis frowns so I know I have to be more specific. “I mean, you and that waiter obviously know something that I’m missing.”

“Oh,” Louis says blushing again and looking away for a few seconds. “Nate was just teasing me,” he explains still avoiding my eyes so he doesn’t really see when I frown, asking for a better explanation.

“Why?”

“Because I don’t usually have dates.” I can’t help to blush and gasp when he says that. I’ve tried not to think of this as a date-date, but more like a friend-date. “I usually only come here with my mates to have a blast and eat like pigs, so Nate has always mocked me that I don’t bring any girl, that I never have dates and all that. So now that I’m here with you he will… well, he’ll never let me hear the end of it.”

A part of me is flattered that I’m practically the only girl he’s brought here, another part is really embarrassed that he and Nate think this is a date-date, and the other part is really curious. Why doesn’t Louis go out with other girls? It’s not like he’s not handsome. Quite the opposite, he’s really hot and nice, with a wonderful smile that makes my knees go weak, the bluest eyes I’ve ever seen and he’s a real gentlemen. He shouldn’t be single. In fact, how is that he’s single? How’s that he doesn’t have the girl he wants? A guy like him should be able to make any girl fall for him. Why is he single?

What if he’s not single?

“It’s not because you have a hidden girlfriend, right?” I ask before I realise, the words escaping my mouth before I process that I’ve thought about that.

Louis laughs, an adorable laughter that makes him look even more handsome. “Of course not,” he replies and I can’t help to notice the relief that takes over my body.

“When was the last time you had a girlfriend?” I ask because curiosity is eating me inside, I can’t stop it. I’m a journalist, after all.

“Uh,” Louis blushes again, embarrassed with my questions but I can’t help it. I just really want to know. “Since uh, college,” he says. “We broke up in year 13, a bit before the A-level exams. She wanted to go London and I wanted Manchester so yeah, we thought it was better to break up back then.”

“And you haven’t had a girlfriend since then?” I ask, really surprised that he hasn’t had anyone in Uni. “And you haven’t dated anyone here?”

He shakes his head and I’m really surprised. At least one person. Someone like Louis could date anyone, but why hasn’t he?

“Why?” My question is almost a whisper, yet he still hears me. “Haven’t you had any chances?”

“Because they are not the one I want,” he answers also in a whisper and I meet his eyes, the blue eyes that hold so many other unspoken things that I can’t reach, that I can’t decipher.

And the moment holds in time, Louis and I looking into each other’s eyes, me trying to understand what he really meant and he waiting for me to understand. But there are things I’m not ready to get, things I maybe don’t want to accept yet. I’m not ready to understand just yet.

Right in that moment Nate arrives with our order and I take that opportunity to drop the topic and I really don’t want to think about it right now.

For a while we don't say anything, we just eat the chips and drink the juice. And it’s funny how food, how something delicious that you really like can ease the mood, how it can make you happy on a different level. Chip by chip I feel the tension easing and soon I can look at Louis again with an honest smile.

“Anyways,” I say, finally starting a conversation. “We came here to celebrate,” I add raising my glass. “Congratulations on being made a regular!”

He chuckles and grabs his own glass. “Thank you,” he says.

“To many games and to a brilliant season this year,” I propose.

“To a brilliant season,” he agrees and we chuckle before drinking and it’s safe to say that custard apple juice is just the first thing we drink.

Later we ask for more chips and decide we can call a taxi or Harry to pick us up because we ask for drinks. The conversation flows so easily and we have a great time, talking about anything that comes to our minds. From football to the things we like to even our years during sixth form. Or even further back in time, during secondary and primary school.

Whether it was a date-date or a friend-date, we had a great time.

-:-:-:-

Dedication to @ShakespeareMasked. If you end up in the psychologist... I'm sorry xD hahahaha Thanks for that comment.

Bel, xx

NU: Thursday