Chapter 2: Crab & Job Hunting
THREE YEARS EARLIER
WAAH! KYAAAAH! That thing's gross! Let's get outta here!
Crab Monster: Huuuh? Shouldn't you be running? Gurgle-blorge!(Laughter)
Salaryman: Sigh...
Crablante: Gurgle!(Laughter) Are you a new salaryman bored with company life? I transformed into Crablante after eating too much crab. I'm surprised you don't flee. Gurgleblorgle! I guess you wanna die. Well, do you?
Ex-salaryman: You're wrong about one thing. I'm not a salaryman. I'm unemployed. And I'm looking for a job. I just had an interview & failed miserably. I don't care about anything now. I don't even feel like running from you, Crablantre. So what're you gonna do if I don't?
Crablante: Gurgle-Blorgle!(Laughter) Like mine, your eyes are lifeless. Out of sympathy, I'll let you go. Besides, I'm hunting other prey right now.
Ex-salaryman: ?
Crablante: Some brat with a cleft chin. I'm gonna rip him limb from limb. GURRR-GLEBA-BLORPLE!(Laughter)
Ex-salaryman: Whoa!
Kid: Huh? What are you looking at?
Crablante: 'A brat with a cleft chin... Rip him limb from limb...'
BABUMP
Ex-salaryman: Hey, kid. Did you do anything to tick off a crab monster?
Kid: Huh? He was asleep in the park, so I drew nipples on him with a marker.
Ex-salaryman: 'It's him all right! He still doesn't know what he's done. What should I do? There's time to hide him...but he isn't cute at all...& it's none of my business. Should I walk away?
Kid: ?
Ex-salaryman: ... 'Yeah... I mean, who cares?' Heh...
LOOM
Crablante: I...found you!!
WHSH
WHAM
Ex-salaryman: Wha...?! 'What am I doing?!'
Crablante: Hunh?
Ex-salaryman: He's after you, kid!! Run!!!
Kid: B... But...
Ex-salaryman: Don't worry about me, just go!!
Kid: But my soccer ball...
Ex-salaryman: Your ball?! Just get moving!! or I'll kill you!
Crablante: What's the big idea? Are you gonna try to save that brat?
Ex-salaryman: Come on, you don't want to commit murder over a childish prank, do you? think about it.
Crablante: Gurgle!(Laughter) I've already diced up several people! No one makes fun of my appearance! Glorgle!(Laughter) That brat drew nipples on me! With a permanent marker! With these claws, I can't even wipe it off with a towel! I can't let him get away with it!! If you interfere, I'll make it so that you'll never look for a job again!!
Ex-salaryman: Heh heh...
Crablante: ! Did you just laugh?
Ex-salaryman: Heh heh heh heh heh... Aaah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah! I just remembered. you look like the villain in an anime I used to watch!
SMACK
FWIP
CRINGE
CLOMP CLOMP
Kid: Y... Yiiiiiiikes!
Crablante: Die.
KLONK
Ex-salaryman: Wait a second. With the birthrate so low, I can't let you kill that kid. & I remembered something else. I wanted to be a hero when I was little. Not a salaryman...but a hero who could send shameless villains like you flying...with one punch.
FWSH
Ex-salaryman: I'm done looking for a job.
TADUM
Ex-salaryman: Bring it on!
Crablante: Some hero you are!
WHOK
WHAM
Crablante: You don't stand a chance! Gurgle-Blorgle!(Laughter)
SHIWP
Crablante: Huh? Gurglee-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGH!
YANNNK
Crablante: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!
SPLURT
Ex-salaryman: Huff huf huff 'It's been three years since then. After training so hard that I went bald, I achieved overwhelming power & became the hero I dreamed of becoming. So why am I still not satisfied?'
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