"Yibo, Yibo," I murmur unconsciously, clinginging onto him tightly. I wake up with a startle due to my nightmare, but was held tightly by a sleeping Yibo which relaxed my anxiety a bit. I look at his face, which now has that soft look I expect to look at normal basis. He looks so peaceful as he sleeps and I can't help but shuffle, to tuck myself in his embrace.

If only I had this during my darkest times.

I close my eyes, inhaling his scent which is just like a calming potion for me. "Awake?" startling me, he asks as he looks down at my face. I nod. "Want to sleep somemore?" he asks gently. This gentle voice makes me want to cry out loud for all I went through. I shake my head softly as a reply. 

"Want to talk?" he questions again. I hesitate. What do we have there to talk? It's been a month here and suddenly I start to grow to trust Yibo more than I should. Is it because we are intimate everyday?

But, this is the first time he initiates to talk. I nod my head accepting the offer to talk. 

"You know why I haven't had actual sex with you yet," he whispers in a soft tone with his deep voice. I want to know the answer too. He carresses my hair gently, pushing my head to lay on his chest. I lie there, feeling his chest move up and down as he takes deep breathe. 

"You are not there with me when we have our time Xiao Zhan. It's as if you are going somewhere else while I pleasure you," he states. By his voice, I can guess he wanted to say this a long time ago. I close my eyes, preventing myself from crying. I am not the old me. I should have forgotten about this.

"I don't have any friends to talk to. If you want to talk, you can, with me," he assures. I know I can, but what if he doesn't want to continue after knowing all about my past.

Don't think Zhan. If he doesn't want you after you tell him, he is the loser, not you.

Hearing to my mind voice, I assure myself. What's the worst to come?

"I was kidnapped when I was 8 years old," I take his hand and play with his fingers as I talk. "Taken into the underground world, where I was about to be sold off. I had a twin sister and she was kidnapped with me, but we were seperated. I was taught lessons on how to please women, and was forced to participate in demo with older woman. I did all those because my small body couldn't take the force of the hit nor can my body accept me being starved," I expected my voice to crack or to shed tears, for some reason, I just tell him with a flat voice as I go down the memory lane.

Yibo lays there silently, only now, his hand around my waist pulls me closer so there is not even an inch of gap between us. 

"I, at some point of time accepted that, that was going to be my life. Suddenly, something changed. I was touched by both men and women and was taught how to pleasure both the genders. I couldn't understand why I was the only one being taught as such. When I asked, they would say because I am both beautiful and handsome, they see a potential in me it seems," I laugh at my own words as I describe my story. 

"So, I was trained like a proper slave and I was touched by many and I touched many, but thankfully, I was still a virgin when I escaped out of it with the help of a guard, who doted on me a bit too much. I helped police reach the place and saved some of the children, but I couldn't find my sister. We assumed she was already sold off and we couldn't do anything about it," I whisper. The guilt is still there that I couldn't save my twin. 

"My parents divorced, as my fathers carelessness and his obsession with his business and his calls were the reason we were kidnapped on that day," I finish, not knowing what to say anymore.

Yibo sits up and pulls me up on his lap. I straddle him and melt into his arms as he hugs me as a comfort. I gnaw at my lower lip. I don't want to cry in front of him. 

"Are you a virgin now?" he questions. The last thread to my self control snapped as I sob like a baby on his shoulders. I snuggle myself closer to him, wanting more of his warmth.

"No, I was used," I whisper as a reply. That is the truth and I said it. Yibo carresses my hair as I lay my head on his shoulder to cry, our chest attached to each other and my legs and arms hugging him as he sits there not knowing what to do.

"I turned out to be gay. They drugged me, took a video, blackmailed me and I was drugged again to be used by senior who has twin who is gay. But they both...they both...took turns," I close my eyes. I whimper at how I felt when I watched the video.

The video where I was lying down on the bed stripped naked, while the twins watched me with lust in their eyes. How they took turns in using my back and my mouth. The crude comments on how the straight guy loves my asshole. They, just for their pleasure, manhandled me enough to leave bruises all over my body. 

"Yibo, I am sorry for wasting our time here," I manage to whisper before I pass out on his shoulder.

Who would've thought?

This guy who seemed to be the most happiest person, have these dark secrets in him. I know what he said was a summary on what actually happened to him. I glance upwards, trying to stop the tear which is threatening to roll down my cheeks. I hug him, hearing him snore lightly near my ear.

Gently kneeling down, just like carrying a baby who is about to be put on bed, I lay Xiao Zhan on bed slowly. Satisfied that I didn't disturb his sleep, I lie down beside him. My hand on his chest, I pat my hand like how my mother used to do when I couldn't sleep. 

I laugh at myself. Who was I kidding? I already am in love with this guy.

I am more of a love at first sight person. I fell for him the moment I felt him staring at me on the bus. I was ectastic to know he was gay that I was squealing like a girl. I was just waiting to know him more, to see if we were compatible. 

We are more than compatible.