Rowan Marino

Morning light filters through the curtains. I haven't slept anything. I can't. Not when I know she still hates me. I don't blame her for it.

Every breath I take is a reminder of the pain in my ribs, the ache in my bones. My body is bruised and broken, but none of it compares to the hollow, gnawing ache in my chest.

Scarlett.

I know she's hurting too. And it's my fault.

I deserve to be in pain. I deserve worse. After everything I've done, I should be the one suffering, not her. Never her.

My entire life has been about control, about holding power. But with Scarlett, I have none. She owns me.

I move slowly, each step a reminder of the beating my father gave me.
But I push the pain away as I reach her room. I knock, barley able to wait for her to answer. When she opens the door I see the tiredness in her eyes. She hasn't been sleeping either. My chest tightens, but I force myself to keep my composure.

"Can we talk?" I ask, my voice desperate.

She doesn't say anything, just steps aside to let me in. I walk past her, the silence between us heavy and suffocating. My pulse pounds in my ears as I turn to face her. She doesn't look at me, her eyes fixed on the floor.

I can't stand it anymore. The distance between us. The coldness. I've hurt her in ways I can never take back. And I know she'll never look at me the same again.

I hate myself for it.

"I don't know how to..." my voice falters. For the first time I don't know what to say.
"I know...I don't deserve your forgiveness. I know I've ruined everything." I say.

She's silent, but I can see her shoulders tense. She's listening.

"I'm a monster, Scarlett." The words spill out of me, raw and painful. "I've done horrible things. To you. To everyone...I'll never forgive myself for it. I deserve everything my father did to me. Every bruise, every scar."

I take a step closer. My knees almost buckling under the weight of my guilt. She finally looks at me, her eyes full of pain, and it cuts deeper than any knife ever could. "Rowan I can't..." she begins.

Before I even realize what I'm doing I fall to my knees in front of her. "I beg you, please...Scarlett, forgive me."

I don't care about pride or control anymore. I only care about her.

"I'll do anything." I whisper. My chest hurting with the truth of my words. "I'll disappear if that's what you want. I'll leave, and you'll never have to see me again. But please...I can't live knowing that you hate me." I say.

She stares at me for what feels like an eternity. I see the conflict in her eyes. She's angry, hurt, so much more than I could ever understand.

"I can't forgive you." She finally says, her voice shaky. "Not now at least."

I don't deserve her forgiveness. I don't deserve her, I already know that.

"But..." she pauses giving me hope.
"I've tried to hate you, Rowan. I should hate you. But I don't. I can't." She says.

My heart aches at the sight of her tears, the way she's struggling with her feelings for me. I want to reach out, to tell her it's okay, that we'll figure this out. But it's not that simple. Nothing with us has ever been simple.

"I'm still very mad at you. I just need...time." She says.
I stand up and move closer to her.
She looks up at me, her hazel eyes searching mine.

"I need you to do something." She says.

"Anything you want, Mila."

"I want you to go to therapy, and talk about the things you find hard to speak about."

What?

No fucking way.

"No." I say simply.

"You said you would do anything...and if you really want me to forgive you, I need you to start opening up." She says her voice steady.

"I take that back. I don't want to talk to a stranger about my...problems." I say crossing my arms.

"You don't talk to anyone about your problems. At least try it once...for me." She says grabbing my arm gently.

Fuck.
How do one say no to those eyes?

"One time" I repeat. Pointing one finger in front of her.
She nods with half a smile.
"Thank you."

Sorry for a short chapter...
How do you think they'll move on from here? >>>