Book 1 Chapter 2.

Opie

The days melded together for Opie, a seamless blur marked by the relentless struggle to recover from the profound loss of his wife. Despite his earnest attempts, the harsh reality persisted – healing seemed elusive. Amid his soul-searching, Opie delegated the care of his children to his mother, Mary Winston, for a month.

Mary's history as a mother was explosive at best. She had departed from Opie's life when he was still young, leaving with bitter words and a deep-seated aversion to the biker lifestyle. Opie vividly remembered the nights when his mom would shout, expressing her regret for being tied down to a biker and his son. Her resentment echoed in the quiet hours, a painful soundtrack to his childhood. Mary Winston had been vocal about not wanting marriage or children, and the burden of her choices reverberated in her son's upbringing.

Determined not to repeat his parents' mistakes, Opie vowed to marry for love. Donna entered his life during high school, and their connection solidified as chemistry partners. Her intelligence and beauty captivated him, stirring emotions that transcended the difficulties of his past. In Donna, Opie found a source of genuine affection and companionship, a stark contrast to the tumultuous relationships that had defined his early years.

Opie decided to follow in his father's footsteps as a member of the Sons of Anarchy during his childhood. Alongside Jax, they spent countless nights as kids, gazing at the bikes rolling into the lot, dreaming of the day they would have their own. The brotherhood's allure and the open road's freedom fueled their aspirations.

During their dating years, Opie began to notice red flags with Donna. Her disdain for the club's gatherings, evident in her raised nose at barbecues, and her initial reluctance to embrace the biker lifestyle hinted at potential challenges. Yet, as their teenage years unfolded, Opie was immersed in the euphoria of love. The prospect of becoming a full-fledged SON overshadowed any reservations he might have harbored.

Opie and Donna married during his prospecting period, and the joyous news of her pregnancy followed soon after. Cloud Nine was an understatement for Opie as he seemingly had it all. However, fate took a cruel turn during a club job gone awry. What was supposed to be a simple mission turned chaotic. Kyle ran, and led to Opie's incarceration in Chino for five years.

In those years, he missed pivotal moments – the doctor's appointments, the birth of his twins, and the milestones that marked their early years. When he finally emerged from prison, the children were four, almost 5, and unfamiliar with the father they had never known. Opie grappled with the fragments of his old life and the challenges of reintegrating into a new reality, attempting to reconcile the missed time and bridge the gap with his family.

Donna's resentment towards SAMCRO intensified during Opie's incarceration, and upon his release, it only grew. Opie was torn between his loyalty to his brothers and his love for Donna. His father, a member of the First 9, had ingrained the SAMCRO lifestyle into Opie's identity. This was his life, his family. Donna, however, wanted him to renounce the club, discard his kutte, and relinquish the patches that bound him to SAMCRO.

Opie struggled to navigate this internal conflict. He loved Donna, yet the pull of the brotherhood was undeniable. Attempts to meet Donna's expectations proved futile, and their fights escalated. Donna was unhappy with his job at the lumber yard, where meager pay compounded their financial woes. The breaking point came when Jax asked for Opie's expertise in explosives for a job.

Understanding the risks, Opie accepted, fully aware of the consequences. Donna, however, couldn't handle it. The explosive argument in their driveway mirrored the turmoil within their relationship. Opie glanced over and saw his kids witnessing the chaos, a painful reflection of his childhood. Confounded by Donna's unwillingness to work with him, Opie realized they were no longer on the same page.

Communication became strained. Donna, resistant to understanding the club life, insisted on Opie choosing between her and SAMCRO. Unable to bridge the divide, Opie found solace in reminiscing about a time when he did have someone to talk to – someone who listened, even if it was only for a few fleeting hours each week or month. He felt a connection absent from his fractured relationship with Donna in those moments.

Opie's life had devolved into a tangled web of struggles and conflicts. The day he received the call about his truck being shot to pieces was the moment his world unraveled entirely. Despite the troubles in his relationship with Donna, Opie had clung to the hope that he could somehow mend their fractured connection. But that hope shattered when he learned of Donna's death, a bullet cruelly ending her life.

In the aftermath, Opie felt adrift, grappling with an identity that seemed to have slipped through his fingers. The profound loss left him questioning who he was and how he could find his way back to himself. With a heavy heart, he knew he had to return to Charming to be there for his kids, who had lost their mother. He was determined not to let them lose their father as well.

The familiar roar of his bike beneath him provided a comforting rhythm as Opie rode down the well-known road. Pulling into Teller-Marrow, he backed his bike into line and turned it off. The moment's weight settled on his shoulders, and doubt crept in as he psyched himself out, rubbing his large hands on his jean-clad thighs.

However, before he could decide, the clubhouse door swung open, and Jax emerged. Seeing his best friend brought a genuine smile to Opie's face, a glimmer of familiarity amid the overwhelming uncertainty that engulfed him. The reunion with Jax held the promise of support and a connection to the brotherhood that might help Opie navigate the turbulent path ahead.

"Op!" Jax called before they hugged. Jax smacked his back a couple of times before letting go. "How are you doing, man?"

The question lingered in the air, a simple inquiry that carried the weight of Opie's tumultuous emotions. He hesitated, opening his mouth only to close it again.

"I'm making it," he finally responded, finding a certain satisfaction in the words, though Jax raised an eyebrow. Opie felt a sense of reassurance in assuring his friend that he wasn't in dire straits, not on suicide watch.

"Listen, I'm not on suicide watch or anything, brother," Opie continued, "but It's still hard to think about. I'm just going to talk to Gemma about it and then go get the kids."

Jax nodded in understanding, acknowledging Opie's explanation with a supportive clap on the back. During his personal turmoil, Opie found solace in the company of the brotherhood.

Opie was without his kutte; he had left it with Jax, a symbolic gesture signaling his need for space and time to navigate his grief. The road to healing was uncertain, but with Jax's support and the prospect of talking to Gemma, Opie hoped to find a way back to himself and the children, who now needed him more than ever.

Walking into the clubhouse, the smell of beer and pussy could knock you down. Opie turned to his brother, wrinkling his nose, "been away from this place too long." Laughing, they entered, where Jax handed Opie his Kutte back.

"It's good to have you back, brother."

Opie never liked being in a cage. He was on his bike most of the time, but it wasn't always possible with the kids. After the incident, Opie couldn't look at his truck, asking his brothers to take care of it. He didn't know what they did to it or what happened, but he could get another cheap one that helped him haul the kids, which was where Opie was waiting in the pickup line for the school system to bring his kids to him.

Worry surged through his tough frame as Opie stood in the school pickup line. Being a single father was an unfamiliar territory for him, and the weight of responsibility pressed heavily on his shoulders. Strong and resilient, Donna had been their family's backbone during the five years he spent to Chino. The void left by her death seemed insurmountable, and in the aftermath, Opie had sought refuge in avoidance, running from the role he now had to embrace.

The memory of his father's unkind words resonated in Opie's mind, a stark reminder of the expectations placed upon him. Why couldn't he be the father his twins needed, just as his father had stepped up when faced with similar circumstances? Self-deprecating thoughts swirled, creating a mental fog that obscured his ability to see himself as the capable parent he needed to be.

As he waited for the teachers to release the students, Opie found himself lost in the turbulence of his emotions. The twins approached the truck, and Kenny's astonished voice cut through the air, uttering, "Dad."

The shock in their eyes reflected the emotional distance that had grown between them. Opie couldn't blame them for not expecting him; he hadn't been the best father since Donna's death. Guilt surged as he smiled softly, watching them hop into the loaner vehicle.

"Hey guys," Opie's attempt at casual conversation felt awkward, like a square peg in a round hole. Talking had never been his forte, but he knew it was a necessary step. "Come on up and get into your seats. We could go get some pizza." Opie sensed his own discomfort, feeling out of place in this new role, but he recognized the need to make an effort.

After a conversation with Gemma in her office earlier that afternoon, Opie felt a glimmer of reassurance. With her own share of losses, Gemma provided a listening ear and understanding that he desperately needed. Crying in front of her had been a cathartic release, and the words exchanged offered a measure of solace.

Holding his hand, Opie guided the twins to their seats and buckled them in before going through the line.

"So, um, how was school?" he tentatively inquired, aware of the importance of these small connections. Opie recognized that he needed to bridge the gap between himself and his kids for their sake and his own healing.

They talked during their ride to the pizza place. Kenny spoke to him about his friends and his favorite classes and teachers. However, Ellie sat there staring out the window. She would answer Opie when he asked her something directly, but she didn't engage. This felt like another stab to the gut that he could not even get his daughter to open up and talk to him.

Pulling into a spot and turning off the truck, Opie got the kids out and headed inside the building. The smell was heavenly to him, as he hadn't eaten much during his monthly trip. When choosing a table, Opie sat down, letting the twins know they could order whatever they wanted. Access to money was rare to the kids as it made Ellie look at her father with a pinched expression while Kenny got excited by looking at the menu until a waitress came by to get their orders.

Opie sat there and looked at his kids. He didn't think speaking with and looking at them would be so difficult. They looked so much like Donna. It was a little reminder of his mistakes and his loneliness.

Opie coughed lightly after the waitress left and looked at his daughter, "Your hair is done pretty." He noted, looking at her sandy blonde hair's braid. "Did grandma do that?"

Ellie looked pained before shaking her head, "No, Grandma Mary said that my hair was too knotted today and just to leave it be."

Opie brought back some anger at his mother, who never seemed to know how to handle children. Opie was afraid this would happen, but he would fix the problem.

"Ms. Becky did it at school! I got to see her today," Opie's eyes widened slightly as he looked at Ellie to continue.

"Oh! Ms. Rebecca is awesome!" Kenny commented before shoving some of his pizza in his mouth. "She always lets me get a toy from her treasure box."

Opie looked between his kids as they spoke about a teacher named Rebecca. This had Opie thinking back to the Rebecca that he knew from his past, the one who would listen to him and tell him to be careful every time they parted ways.

Letting out a shaking breath that he didn't know he was holding in, Opie finally could speak, "Ms. Rebecca, is that your teacher?" he questioned, looking at the twins across from him.

"No," Ellie giggled and shook her head, "she's the dentist at school." Opie's brows furrow. He didn't know the school had a dentist. A nurse, of course, but a dentist?

"Yeah! She's not at school daily, just on special ones to see students." Kenny answered before turning back to his sister, "Why do you get to call her Becky?"

Ellie smirked and shrugged, "I don't know. She said I could when I was getting my teeth cleaned."

Kenny huffed, but Opie decided to interject. "Does Ms. Rebecca have a last name?" Opie felt stupid; he didn't want to ask and shouldn't even be caring. He had just buried his wife two months ago and is now trying to get on better terms with his children.

Whoever their school dentist was did not matter to him. However, the idea of a dentist named Rebecca caused adrenaline to pump into his body. However, all Opie could think about was the coincidence of two dentists named Rebecca. But his. No. Opie thought, not his. The Rebecca he knew was still in Chino.

Both twins shrugged, so there was a fat chance Opie would ever find out anyway. This gave Opie an excuse to put it out of his mind as he brought up another topic to get to know his children better.

The pizza trip was a success in Opie's eyes as he drove them home. Opie pulled into the house and parked the loaner truck, and this part would be difficult. He had not set foot back home since the funeral. Ope let out a large breath of hair when he felt a hand on his, turning off the engine.

Looking over, he saw Ellie holding his hand. "It will be alright, Daddy," the little girl whispered as she squeezed his large hand. Opie gave a broken laugh as he pressed her tiny one back.

"Yeah, baby, it will be," Opie whispered as he nodded, looking back towards the home.

Opie found himself sitting on the porch after putting the kids to bed that night. The smoke from his cigarette burned his nose as he blew out. Opie was not a religious man. After the death of his wife, he all but ignored any notion that a God was out there. However, a small part of him begged for even the slightest help. He felt like he was drowning.

The small pattering of feet had Opie look over to see his daughter standing there. With her seven-year-old frame, Ellie fidgeted with her fingers, her eyes cast downward.

"Daddy?" Ellie's small voice broke the silence, a hint of uncertainty lacing her words.

Opie turned to her, his rough exterior softened by the vulnerability he saw in his daughter's eyes. "Yeah, sweetheart?" he responded, his own hesitancy palpable.

"Why did you leave after Mommy's funeral?" Ellie's question hung in the air, heavy with the unspoken hurt she carried.

Opie sighed, the weight of his own guilt settling in. "I didn't mean to hurt you, Ellie. It's just... everything got messed up, and I didn't know how to deal with it. I'm still figuring it out." His gaze met hers, a mix of regret and earnestness etched on his face.

Ellie looked down at her hands, picking at the edge of her dress. "I miss Mommy," she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper.

Opie's heart ached at the raw honesty in her words. "I miss her too, Ellie. More than anything," he confessed, gently touching her shoulder. "I didn't leave because I didn't love you, Kenny, or Mommy. I just... I didn't know how to handle all of it."

Ellie's teary eyes met his, a mixture of sadness and confusion reflected in them. "But I need you, Daddy," she whispered, her voice a plea.

Opie drew her into a comforting embrace, mindful of the fragile emotions at play. "I know, Ellie. I'm here now, and I'm gonna do my best. We'll figure it out together, okay?"

Opie hated himself as he held his daughter close to his side. He was going to fix this. He needed help.